"I would give my right hand for this day to just end!"
―Luke Skywalker (Chris)[src]

"Something, Something, Something, Dark Side" is an episode of the FOX animated television series Family Guy and the sequel episode to the critically acclaimed, hour-long Star Wars episode "Blue Harvest," along with the second of three in the Laugh It Up Fuzzball Trilogy, the trio of Family Guy episodes parodying the original trilogy. It retells the story of The Empire Strikes Back as "Blue Harvest" did with A New Hope, recasting characters from Family Guy into roles from the film. It was originally scheduled to air as the seventh-season finale,[2] but was pushed back to season 8.[3] However, Seth MacFarlane said that the episode would premiere on DVD before it went to air.[4] Like the previous installment, the poster for "Dark Side" is based on the design of an actual Star Wars poster. The title is also a reference to a previous episode, a cutaway gag in which Stewie described the moment when the Emperor "discovered the formula for great Star Wars dialogue."

Opening crawlEdit

Episode V
A long time ago,
when the gays
weren't all in your
face about it....

It is a dark time for the
Rebellion. Although the Death
Star has been destroyed,
Imperial troops have driven the
Rebel forces from their hidden
base and pursued them across
the galaxy. But you
know this story.

What you may not know is
that 20th Century Fox had
so little faith in the "Star
Wars" franchise that they
let George Lucas keep all
the merchandising rights.

Are   you   listening,
stockholders? How can you
invest in a company that
makes such short-sighted
decisions? I mean, this is
the same company that
canceled "Family Guy" twice.
Who's running that joint?
Monkeys? I mean, if they're
gonna be that foolish with
their money, then I guess
that means we can be
foolish with their money,
too. Like spending a
bunch of it to animate
a computer-generated
cartoon elephant that has
nothing to do with the rest
of the episode.

(A blue computer-generated
cartoon elephant skips
across the screen)

Did you see that? Know
what that cost? $58,000.
I mean, what a waste. It
wasn't even that funny.
That's $58,000 that could
have gone to curing
leukemia. Or muscular
dystrophy. Or... what does
Michael J. Fox have? That.
Alright, let's watch some
goddamn cartoons.

Plot summaryEdit

The episode begins in a similar fashion to Blue Harvest, as power suddenly goes off in the Griffin house, after which Meg asks her dad to tell them another story like Star Wars until the power returns. However, instead, Peter wants to tell the story of the film Black Snake Moan, an idea the family instantly protests, so instead the story of The Empire Strikes Back is retold.

Darth Vader (Stewie Griffin) is hunting the young Rebel Luke Skywalker (Chris) and his troops relentlessly across the galaxy. On the ice planet Hoth, after Luke sights what he believes is a meteorite that fell near his position (in reality an Imperial probe droid), he contacts Han Solo (Peter Griffin), who callsigned himself Carlos Spicywiener, about his find, when suddenly he is attacked by a wampa (Cookie Snowmonster). He manages to escape the creature's ice cave and collapses in the snow. He then sees his late mentor Obi-Wan Kenobi (Herbert), telling him to go to the planet Dagobah to learn the ways of the Force under Jedi Master Yoda (Carl), though he first tells him to drop his pants.


Han (Peter) on his "Don-Don"

After Luke fails to contact back to the base, Han decides to search for him with his "Don-Don" (a tauntaun that looks and talks like actor Don Knotts). After several hours of searching, Han finds Luke in the snow mumbling about Dagobah and "Zima soup." A version of Rodney Dangerfield briefly appears in front of them. Han's Don-Don then suddenly collapses and dies in the snow, after which Han agrees that it was for the best, since there were far too many elderly comedians around. After the Don-Don's collapse, Han uses Luke's lightsaber to slice open the belly of the creature to use it as a protective emergency shelter for Luke.

After a while, a snowspeeder search group led by "Overweight Pilot number 1" is relieved to find the two after seemingly hours of searching. The team contacts Captain Solo, but before he returns Luke to base, Han decides to "catch some powder" with some skiing young people re-enacting a classic Juicy Fruit commercial. As Luke is treated for his injuries in the base, Han continues to tease Leia about her feelings for him. When she angrily calls him a "nerf herder," Han punches her out, saying that only "we" can use the term, implying that it is a racial epithet.

The Empire locates the Rebels and initiates an attack. The Rebels get time to evacuate, and Luke leads a squadron to hold off the attackers. When Luke's gunner, Dak, says he feels like he could take on the whole Empire himself, Luke happily announces this to the others, and Dak sets off alone, ready for the enemy fleet to "suck some Dak," only to be instantly shot to pieces. The Rebels fight against Imperial AT-ATs, but stormtroopers soon enter the base, forcing Han, Princess Leia (Lois), Chewbacca (Brian Griffin), and C-3PO (Quagmire) to flee in the Millennium Falcon.

Luke travels to the Dagobah system and meets Yoda. His Jedi training soon commences, and consists mostly of physical training and learning—as Yoda puts it—"sweet-ass special-edition DVD" trivia. Meanwhile, the Empire is chasing the Millennium Falcon, which eventually hides in an asteroid. When Leia is repairing the ship, she talks Han into buying a new condenser in exchange for her giving him a kiss.

On board the Executor, Darth Vader is contacted by the Emperor (Carter Pewterschmidt), who is giving away his old CD collection due to transferring all of his songs to an iPod, and asks if Vader would like some. At first Vader relents, but then eagerly agrees when the Emperor offers him Hold on to the Night by Richard Marx. The Emperor then tells Vader to turn Luke to the dark side, which Vader says he will manage by showing Luke the Empire's recruiting video.

Back on the asteroid, the Millennium Falcon gets attacked by mynocks (Evil Monkey in Chris' closet), and the crew notice that the cave is moving after Han repeatedly shoots the ground. This prompts them to escape, and the cave turns out to be an exogorth (Meg Griffin). Han tries to go into hyperspace to escape the Imperial Star Destroyers, but fails, and instead hides by attaching the ship to the lead Star Destroyer. Captain Needa is informed that Vader wants an update, to which Needa says to tell him they managed to blow the Falcon up. However, Vader was not on hold and heard him; therefore he instantly chokes Needa.

Soon after, Han decides to seek refuge at Lando Calrissian's mining colony, and notes that he thinks Lando might be the only "black guy" in the galaxy. As the fleet disperses, the Millennium Falcon takes off and floats away with the garbage. In the process, the crew sees "space bums" collecting pieces of garbage into shopping carts, and Han reminds the others of all that they should be thankful for. Suddenly, the ship hits one of the bums, an incident which scares Han into a hasty retreat from the trash field. However, unknown to them, one of Darth Vader's hired bounty hunters, Boba Fett (Ernie the Giant Chicken), was hidden within the garbage, and begins to follow Han's ship.

While training on Dagobah, Luke has a vision of his friends captured by the Empire, and chooses to forgo his training to save his friends and confront Vader. Yoda says Luke isn't ready, as only an experienced Jedi can fight Vader. However, when Luke demands why Yoda doesn't go himself, Yoda quickly replies Luke is ready after all.

The Falcon arrives at Bespin, but gets shot at by a twin-pod cloud car, which houses two pilots disagreeing about who is in charge of both weapons and steering. Han and his crew eventually land at Cloud City and are greeted by Lando (Mort). Han introduces everyone, but evades using C-3PO's name, the latter of whom becomes insulted for Han not having bothered to learn his name. Lando leads everyone inside, but C-3PO stops at a J.Crew shop, which results in him being broken into pieces after a fight over a pair of shorts.

Later, Lando takes the guests to dinner, while Vader is preparing for what to do when they arrive in the dining room. Ultimately, they arrive before he is ready, which causes him to merely say "Hi!" Vader intends to use a carbonite freezing process on Luke for his trip to the Emperor, but wants to first test it on Han, simultaneously freezing some orange-flavored ice-cube snacks. As Han is being prepared for the carbonite chamber, Leia says that she loves him, to which he answers, "Fuck off." Han is frozen in a posture with his trousers down, and is given over to Boba Fett. In the meantime, Luke arrives at Cloud City and finds his way to the freezing facility, where he enters on to an American Idol stage. After slicing the host with his lightsaber, Luke encounters Vader, and the two engage in a duel.

FGSSSDS-Luke Vader fight

Vader (Stewie) and Luke (Chris) duel on Cloud City.

In a different place in the city, Lando manages to free Leia, Chewbacca, and C-3PO, and gives one of his employees an award for having sold the most magazine subscriptions. They run to Fett's ship to save Han, but arrive only to see it take off. C-3PO suggests that even though they know Han is being taken to Jabba's Palace, they should wait three years before rescuing him. Thus they make their way to the Millennium Falcon and escape.

In the air shaft of the city, Vader and Luke continue to fight. As Luke falls on his back, Vader invites him to join the dark side, because it is "really cool." Luke refuses, and shortly after, Vader cuts off his right hand. As Luke climbs to the thin extension of the catwalk, Vader, after giving a spoiler alert, reveals that he is Luke's father, and that the two of them can rule the galaxy as father and son, or simply as two good-looking guys. However, Luke throws himself down the air shaft and ends up on an antenna underneath the city, where he calls for Obi-Wan, Leia, and Tom Selleck.

Leia eventually hears Luke's call, and she, Lando, Chewbacca and C-3PO turn the ship around to get Luke. They pick him up, and as they fly away, Luke hears Vader saying his name. It turns out however, that Vader called the wrong Luke, but mentions the "two dudes" offer is still available. The Falcon manages to go into hyperspace and escape the Empire's tractor beam.

At the Rebel rendezvous point, Luke gets a new hand, and the medical droid responsible advises him to practice on a hot dog first. Lando, in the Millennium Falcon, promises they will get Han back, and Chewbacca asks him why he is wearing Han's clothes. As the film is about to end, Luke is disappointed at how many questions are still left unanswered. He is then handed a letter from Doc Brown in the year 1885 and becomes overjoyed. The story ends with a "To be concluded" in the style of Back to the Future Part II.

Once again, the power comes back on in the Family Guy universe when Peter finishes the story. He then says he would like to see Robot Chicken top it, which Chris answers he thinks they already did. A discussion begins, but Chris is determined not to let his dad get to him this time. However, this does not work in the end.

Behind the scenesEdit

  • The original cast of "Blue Harvest" reprise their roles for "Something, Something, Something, Dark Side," as was stated on the "Blue Harvest" DVD.
  • Seth Green let slip in an interview that the role of Lando Calrissian would be filled by Ollie Williams despite the fact that Ollie already appeared as himself in a DVD-exclusive scene in "Blue Harvest." This was debunked, as a black Mort Goldman fills the role.
  • One line that Leia/Lois says to Luke/Chris during a read-through "Easter egg" on the Blue Harvest DVD ("I don't know what it is, but when I kiss you it's like kissing my brother") was originally pitched by Seth MacFarlane during the DVD commentary of Blue Harvest.
  • The title of this episode is a reference to a specific line from the season-five episode "Barely Legal," which was used in a cutaway gag. The line can be heard in the trailer, and can also be fully seen at the end of the "Family Guy Star Wars Clip Show" featurette on the DVD. The line went "Something, something, something dark side. Something, something, something complete."
  • Kevin Michael Richardson makes a cameo appearance in this episode as a Strong Black Man that Vader/Stewie chokes/gropes after the Falcon escapes.
  • Dengar and 4-LOM didn't appear in this parody, only IG-88, Zuckuss, Bossk, and Boba Fett.


Notes and referencesEdit

External linksEdit

In other languages

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