I've been fiddling around in the Jundland Wastes Sandbox and wondered if I might publish this article on April 1, when Wookieepedia's standards are a little more lax.
The Boi believed themselves superior to all other species in the Galaxy. In order to avoid "pollution" by these other species, they constructed a massive defensive ring, the Trít, in low orbit around Fortís-Eqund's equator. The Trít was armed with 42 Taim and Bak KX5 laser cannons, 22 KX9 laser cannons, and 64.5 AG-2G quad laser cannons. The Boi later refit the Trít when it became obvious that a xenophobic species could not buy armaments available on the intragalactic market. But far worse continuity errors had occurred over the course of Galactic history, so historians generally overlook that little problem. Following the refit, the Trít was redesignated the Super-dee-Duper Trít.
When Fortís-Eqund entered the Galactic stage, the Boi Ruling Council created a ritual whereby offworlders could gain entrée to the planet: the offworlder must sacrifice the heart of a reek to Great Braudd, god of planetary defense systems. Thereafter, the offworlder would be accorded the title of Herald-Squire, which referred to a certain rank of divine messenger in Boi theology. After all, the Boi did allow divine representatives (a sort of offworlder) to land on Fortís-Eqund, so the presence of an honorary Herald-Squire was presumably contiguous with Boi religious strictures.
During the Clone Wars, an armada of Separatist starships besieged Fortís-Eqund, hoping to subvert its massive manufacturing base for their own use. When sections of the Trít began to collapse before the onslaught, the Boi were forced to implore the Republic for assistance.
Although Mace Windu was unable to personally attend the counter-invasion, he dispatched Elomin Jedi Seg Wei as his proxy. However, Wei could only pass the Trít if he invoked Windu's rank of Herald-Squire. As Wei departed Coruscant with his clone troopers, Windu reminded him, "Send my reek hearts to Braudd, Wei. Remember me for Herald-Squire. Tell all the Bois on Fortís-Eqund's Trít that I will soon be there."
- "I Desperately Wish I Didn't Have to Write Up This Trash in a Serious Article, but It Comes with Being a Hyper-Inclusionist"—Star Wars Insider 84, Dan Wallace
- ↑ They lost two barrels during transit from Corellia.
- ↑ Fifteen seconds after the christening ceremony, Curtis Saxton's head exploded.