This is a Sub Page of Jedimca0 and AdmirableAckbar meant to help improve the Jedi Order Article.
Project Status:
Inactive

Contents 1 Volunteers 2 What can you do? 2.1 Greyman's Message 2.1.1 To do list 3 Discusion/Comments 3.1 What you are currently working on 4 Ataru's comments on IRC

Volunteers Edit

If you feel like helping us please sign your name here.

1. Jedimca0^{(Do or Do Not, There is No Try)}
2. TheOne&OnlyAdmirableAckbar ^{(It's A Trap!)}
   • Heck yeah. Jediknight19bby ^{(Jedi High Council Chambers!)} 21:52, 21 July 2007 (UTC) (Goodbye. I'll unstrike your name when you actually start contributing well. Do not unstrike it yourself. Kapeesh?)
3. Copy editing compliments of Graestan ^{(This party's over)} 14:52, 6 August 2007 (UTC)

What can you do? Edit

In Greyman's message below you will find a detailed list of things that need to be improved. Once you have completed one of these tasks you can strike it in the message below and ad "(needs checking)" and your username (not your signature) behind the task you completed. Other users can than check your work for mistake, once it has been checked the user who checked it will strike "(needs checking)". Any comments can be added at the bottom of this page under "Discussion/Comments".

Please ad what you are currently working on to the "Discussion/Comments" section to make sure we're not doing things twice, thank you.

Greyman's Message Edit

Hey Jedimca0, I know that you and Acky are working together on the Jedi Order article, so I thought I would post this here as well. Acky asked me to look it over and let him know what needed to be done, so I thought that you would like to have a copy of it as well for your own reference. I look forward to seeing your guys continued efforts on this article :). Cheers, Greyman^(Paratus) 01:22, 21 July 2007 (UTC)

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Hey Acky, as you requested of me in IRC, I took a look over the Jedi Order article and here is what I think needs to be done. Myself and some others think that it's GA nom is dead—everyone is to wary or fed up with...hmmm...certain...stuff...to look at it anymore. However, more than one person has said that unless an Inq approves this article, then it isn't going anywhere. I don't have the time to do it, but I 100% trust you and Jedimca0 to do an awesome job with it, and I've witnessed this in the last week or so, which only adds to my confidence in you guys. If you guys are able to do what I've listed below (and only after it's been all done), and even surpass that and do what you guys think needs to be done as well, then I have no problem proofreading it and giving it my stamp of approval—and I'm not just talking about it as an article, but as an FA nomination...eventually. It's a tall order, but it has come a long way since you've started cleaning it up, and I believe that you and Jedimca0 can do it. Also, by taking on a project of this...erm...reputation...it only continues to prove to everyone, including Admin's and Inqs, that you're serious about writing here—I already know you are, and so do others :D.

First off, I assume that you're planning on doing some, or a lot of, rewriting throughout the article, so I didn't go through it for grammar or diction just yet. Once you get whole sections out of the way and how you want them, then let me know and I'll go over it for you. I'll do my best to drag Goodwood and Graestan into that part as well, heh :D.

To do list Edit

Here it is:

• "After the war, the rest of these dissidents—known as the Legions of Lettow—were defeated." (Source?)
• "It is generally accepted that Jedi Order was formally founded at the same time as the initial incarnation of the Galactic Republic circa 25,000 BBY. Many of the specifics are still shrouded in mystery, though." Needs to be rewritten or deleted.(Piequals3)
• "In 10,000 BBY, the Jedi created what would later be called the Lost City of the Jedi on Yavin 4. They used the City to terraform Yavin 4 into a rain forest world. Within the next 3,000 years, the Jedi abandoned Yavin 4." (Source?)
• "In 7,000 BBY the Jedi suffered the Second Great Schism, resulting in the Hundred-Year Darkness. This conflict ended with the Battle of Corbos 6,900 BBY. The surviving Dark Jedi fled to Ziost and founded the Sith Empire." (Source?) (sourced --Jedimca0)
• "The Jedi, believing that they had dealt with their dark-sided brethren, turned inward, and <s>over the next twenty centuries they forgot about their exiled members." (Source? Twenty centuries??) (20 centuries rmvd-- JK19bby)</s>
• "The paranoia created by this conflict led to the Jedi and Republic's attempted genocide of the Sith and Stenness Shifters." (Source?)
• "With the Ruusan Reformation, both the Jedi and the Republic renounced militarism, disbanding their vast armies and navies. From that point on, the Galaxy would rely on smaller Judicial forces to help the Jedi keep the peace. The Jedi were determined that the Sith would not be reborn. Mindful of their own history, the Jedi set about enforcing strict guidelines that the Council hoped would avoid repeating the mistakes of the past. They would renounce all ties to the outside world—to wealth, material possessions and even family. Training would now be undertaken on a strict one-to-one basis and centralized on Coruscant. With the far-flung academies of the past, the temptation of delving into forbidden knowledge was just too great for members of the order." (Source?)
• Bullets should be rmvd from the Jedi Ranks section, however that's just a personal preference, but one I know a lot of other users agree with. (Removed --Jedimca0)
• The ranks should also start from Grand Master and work down, not the other way around. (Completed -- Jedimca0)
• Quotes! Quotes, quotes, quotes, and more quotes! :D I believe that with each subsection in the article, a quote should be present as a lead-in.
• </s>Locations section needs to be expanded upon—Coruscant (Jedi Temple, Room of a Thousand Fountains, etc.) could have it's own paragraph. My advice here is to look at this → Locations of the Jedi Order, pick what you believe are the top five most important Jedi locations, and write paragraphs on them—make the current Locations section a little more meaty.
• Any headings that have links in them should be de-linked, and then linked in actual paragraphs. (needs checking ^{see here} --Jedimca0)
• The Introduction could stand to be longer, especially with the amount of information that already is, and will be, in the article. All it has to be is "This happened here in this year, it resulted in this. Master blah then did this then, it was important b/c of this. However, a this war then broke out, last until then, and the Jedi did this." and so on and so forth. (Expanded/Rewrote intro -- Jedimca0)
• POV (ex. semi-legendary organizations) (removed --JK19bby)
• The New Sith Wars subsection needs to be put into more cohesive paragraphs—to many short paragraphs, which could easily be combined. (I've combined the short paragraphs, it just needs checking --Jedimca0)
• I haven't look very closely, but from just scanning over it, the sections which were copy/pasted from the History of the Jedi Order need to be rewritten (or slightly tweaked) so that they can stand on their own. I was going to recommend merging the two articles, but that is unlikely, since the History of the Jedi Order covers the entire Order, not just the Pre-Vader Order.
• I would also recommend making (attempting) a complete list of Appearances and Sources. You can look here, here, or even here. (Pssst, I recommend the last one :) )
• And what you've already mentioned—Expansion!:D (ie. Freedon Nadd's reign (needs checking --Jedimca0), The Third Great Schism, The Great Hyperspace War [Needs to be expanded to give background], The Great Sith War [Huge, and I would say pivotal, event in Jedi history...expand please, likewise the Clone Wars needs some too, the Great Jedi Purge was a major event which witnessed a lot more then what is currently presented.
• And once those sections have been expanded, that creates a lot more room for pictures! And, I'll let you in on something, Inq Eyrezer loooves quality pictures. :P
• The See also section, I think, should be cut down a bit...only relevant ones should stay. If I were writing the article, then I would keep Jedi, The Force, Jedi Code (though, this should be covered in the article already), and the New Jedi Order.
• Another thing someone could do is to re-word/re-write the Mandalorian Wars (needs checking --Jedimca0) and Jedi Civil War sections, as they are currently exactly the same as the History of the Jedi Order article. (added by--AdmirableAckbar)
• I think we should include some of the more minor conflicts the jedi order was involved in. The Stark Hyperspace War could have it's own section, as it was fairly major, but smaller conflicts like the Yinchorri Crisis could be put in a section with several other occurances in that time period. So Yinchorri crisis could be put in a sub-section with the events from Cloak of Deception, and anything else that happened before TPM. Another section could be the Separatist Crisis, combined with any other skirmishes at that time. Something which should definitely be included is Emissaries to Malastare. (added by -- TheOne&OnlyAdmirableAckbar ^{(It's A Trap!)})

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Anyways, from what I can see, those are the most glaring and potent points that I have to offer. As you guys continue with editing/expanding, let me know along the way, and I'll continue to proofread it for you. If you or Jedimca0 have any questions about any of this, or anything else, you know where you can reach me. Cheers, Greyman^(Paratus) 01:22, 21 July 2007 (UTC)

Discusion/Comments Edit

Feel free to discuss the necessary changes here. --Jedimca0^{(Do or Do Not, There is No Try)} 11:50, 21 July 2007 (UTC)

• One thing which needs to be made clear to anyone working on this article is that copy/pasting entire sections from other articles should be discouraged. If you feel you need to copy/paste, reword it as much as possible. TheOne&OnlyAdmirableAckbar ^{(It's A Trap!)} 13:18, 22 July 2007 (UTC)

What you are currently working on Edit

Please ad what you are currently working on to this section and let us know when you are finished it when you are done, thank you.

1. Jedimca0
   • I'm currently working on finding and adding more quotes to the article, feel free to give me any feedback about the one(s) I've already added. --Jedimca0^{(Do or Do Not, There is No Try)} 08:44, 22 July 2007 (UTC) (Done, feel free to check the quotes and give me some feedback --Jedimca0)
   • I'll start working on re-writing the Mandalorian Wars and Jedi Civil War sections tomorrow. --Jedimca0^{(Do or Do Not, There is No Try)} 21:30, 23 July 2007 (UTC)
   • I'll start working on The Great Sith War. (Done) --Jedimca0^{(Do or Do Not, There is No Try)} 10:32, 29 July 2007 (UTC)
   • I'll rewrite/expand the intro, I'll work on this on a separate sub page to avoid edit conflicts since the only way to edit the intro is by editing the entire article. I'll copy and paste the new intro into the article as soon as it's done. --Jedimca0^{(Do or Do Not, There is No Try)} 19:11, 2 August 2007 (UTC)
2. AdmirableAckbar
   • I'm currently working on the Locations of the Jedi Order section, trying to expand it as Greyman suggested. TheOne&OnlyAdmirableAckbar ^{(It's A Trap!)} 18:39, 21 July 2007 (UTC) (Copied from my talk page --Jedimca0^{(Do or Do Not, There is No Try)} 08:44, 22 July 2007 (UTC))
   • I'm also going to try and expand some of the sections in History. (Freedon Nadd's reign, Third Great Schism, Freedon Nadd uprising, First Jedi Purge, Clone Wars & Great Jedi Purge) If someone feels they are particularly knowledgable in a particular section, feel free to have a go at expanding it. TheOne&OnlyAdmirableAckbar ^{(It's A Trap!)} 13:18, 22 July 2007 (UTC)
     • I've been reading through the New Essential Chronology and I think I might be able to help, but I don't have a lot of time today and tomorrow morning, so I don't know when I'll be able to start working on that. --Jedimca0^{(Do or Do Not, There is No Try)} 13:26, 22 July 2007 (UTC)
3. Jediknight19bby
   • Great job, guys. I'm working on making sure all pics have sources, and also I'm gonna create another section about Jedi Historians, Librarians, etc. Jediknight19bby ^{(Jedi High Council Chambers!)} 18:40, 22 July 2007 (UTC)
4. Graestan

Ataru's comments on IRCEdit

• Great Hyperspace War section to be re-written. I want to know about what the Jedi Order did in it. Only give enough context as is necessary. Total rewrite on that part (done)
• I would shrink that section under "Freedom Nadd's Reign"- condense the 2nd paragraph (Done, I think --Jedimca0)
• a bit of POV in JCW. (Fixed --Jedimca0) Absolutely *no* detail on Exile's wanderings. (done, I think)
• Anyway, the New Sith Wars section talks more about Shithys than it does Jeedais
  • I started a rewrite, but then I asked myself: does all this have to go? I really think we should talk to Ataru about it, before smashing such a big section. Also, the further discrepancy regarding the New Sith Empire/Brotherhood of the Sith issue cropped up, and I don't know the material well enough to clarify.—Graestan ^{(This party's over)} 02:10, 7 October 2007 (UTC)
• Clone Wars section: Either cut it down to a general overview or expand it. Give me an idea of what the Order did in the war, with a few examples of specific significant actions (done)
• You need a mention of Obi-Wan and Yoda helping create the NJO. You can't just end it at the Purge (Done --Jedimca0)
• Locations is pretty good. I'd like the Bpfasshi place and some of the other smaller enclaves added, if possible. (Belsavis), for example