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Contents 1 The Chosen Ones 2 Qui-Gon is Reborn 3 The Real Story 4 It Gets Worse (Or It Gets Better?) 5 QGR is Interviewed by Beings Holozine 6 The Deepest Secrets of the Force Divulged! 7 The Paradox of Time 8 Piryte 9 Random Polls

[edit] The Chosen Ones

In a vain attempt to disguise herself as a "real" Wookieepedian, QGR is including a section on all the articles she created and/or contributes to on a consistant basis. All two, methinks. Although the list is expanding with her obsession.

Created Articles (REALLY chosen ones) Castle Creep EG-05 Jedi Hunter Droid Darth Bane: Dynasty of Evil Bama bar frosty treat Perystal Prince Gothik Brot spitcrete Jerry Hey Whilce Portacio hand torch T'Seely Talia Moonseeker Va'too Vokara Che noski chava chava chizk Ambrian cheroot striker chee chee berries Friends of the Republic Hubba chips Lurol smoothie Blumfruit muffin Blumfruit juice Vodran system Monica Kulling The Game Lesser Firagh Peninsula Great Zoun Archipelago Cxala Chandad Sok Brok's Fiftieth Annual Pet Show Nar'ghok Criff Hummingbird Cinnatar system Sea of Sponges Great Jasserak Swamp Qarohan Steppes Gotagei Chuhkyvi (language) Repulsortrain Marcus L. Rowland holiday cookie Jim Bloom Psi 1 spin sealer Annual SecBowl Zen Lotto Heavily Edited Articles (kind of Chosen Ones) Liam Neeson Qui-Gon Jinn Darth Bane: Rule of Two Fate of the Jedi Jedi Apprentice Jedi Apprentice: The Rising Force blumfruit

[edit] Qui-Gon is Reborn

As Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn passed into the Force in that galaxy far, far away, little did any mere mortal from the insignificant planet known as Earth realize that he was, in the same instant, reborn. Yes, at that moment, a girl, whose brain was already pretty messed up to begin with, was stripped of every conscious thought she had ever known, and replaced by a torrent of terror and slavery that the human world knows as Star Wars. There was no going back.

[edit] The Real Story

When Qui-Gon Reborn was the impressionable age of ten, she received, out of nowhere at all, a PC game in commemoration of Balanced Force Day. This was not unusual, as QGR's mom had made a point of exposing her to the computer since she could hardly walk, to teach her to appreciate it and use it as another tool to further her knowledge and experiment with new ideas. (Little did she know that QGR started naming the computers almost as soon as she first sat in front of one. Barney was first, yes, named after a fictional dinosaur that children are quite fond of on that pathetic Earth planet, and now, about twelve years later, William, named after the…well…the Irishman. Ahem. Liam Neeson.)

But this game was somewhat different than the others. This one was like no other she’d previously seen. To begin with, it looked weird. It didn’t have pictures of vast armies of Roman soldiers hurling themselves to their deaths (QGR was a highly unusual ten-year-old who watched way too many old movies with Tony Curtis and Kirk Douglas in them, ok?) or mythological monsters swinging massive battle axes at one another. This one had some sort of emblem on it, of a green, shimmering, sword-like object enclosed in a small circular shape. Her first glance at a lightsaber. Jedi Knight: Jedi Academy.

Qui-Gon Reborn must have played Jedi Academy five times, first with her character represented by a male human, then the same male human, then a female human, a Rodian, and finally, a Kel Dor, before she realized that she had gained suitable courage to attempt the dark side ending of the game. So, rather than being merciful and forgiving her companion, Rosh Penin, a fellow Jedi, who had betrayed her, QGR struck him down with all her dark anger and twisted hatred, her will fueled by the infinite terror of the dark side. And Rosh Penin died by her blade. (This user likes to be melodramatic. How come there's no userbox like that? Ineffeciency.)

QGR felt terrible.

She quit the game immediately, and went off somewhere to think about what had just happened. The dark side of the Force. The light side of the Force. Dark Jedi, Sith, Yavin, Kel Dors, Bakura, Disciples of Ragnos, Korriban…

Her thoughts were not my own for a while. But she recovered fast, and emerged deeper than she was before.

That was the beginning. And Qui-Gon Reborn has not been sane since.

[edit] It Gets Worse (Or It Gets Better?)

Time progressed, QGR grew older, saw the original trilogy, read her first Star Wars novel, The Paradise Snare, about her one-time favorite character, Han Solo, and life seemed to continue.

After mustering up enough audacity to purchase the massive Star Wars Visual Dictionary, still not having seen the prequels (her mom didn’t know about them at the time -- she was only familiar with the Original Trilogy, having seen them in theaters a long time ago) Qui-Gon Reborn browsed through it with piqued interest.

The Original Trilogy was familiar to her, but the Prequels foreign and exciting. Her eyes brushed across pages littered with (and no way am I linking all these) exotic personas…Anakin, Padme, Dex, Jango, Palpatine, Beru, Mace Windu, Yoda, Kaminoans, Mustafarans, Utapauans, Geonisis, Ki-Adi-Mundi…whoa!!!

Who is that?!

She gripped the book with both hands, tilting it slightly to get a better view of the picture. He had long hair, a rather twisted nose, his lightsaber green and upraised, his stance dignified and remote. But most of all...

...his eyes. Blue upon blue, deep and penetrating, those eyes burrowed into her skull. Qui-Gon Reborn whispered his name out loud.

Qui-Gon Jinn.

Life was juxtoposed, beaten, and shaken, not stirred.

[edit] QGR is Interviewed by Beings Holozine

• fragment of an interview conducted by Beings Holozine which appeared in the article "QGR: A Study in Fanaticism" in the year -9987 B.C.E

interviewer: Hello QGR! We're extremely proud to be here with you tonight.

QGR: Pride! A figment of the dark side of the Force! You know not with what you are involving yourself!

interviewer: Right...Um...QGR, can you tell us why in the name of old Ben's ghost you love Qui-Gon versus, say, Obi-Wan?

QGR: Haha, well, I always joke that either cupid has a really evil sense of humor, or Obi-Wan stepped onscreen, Cupid started to fire, and just at that moment, Qui-Gon replaced Obi-Wan and Cupid's arrow peirced my brains. Other than that...no idea. The eyes could have something to do with it. And the height. And the muscles. And the voice. And the smile. And the walk. And the nose. And the--

interviewer: Yes, ok, but is there anything else in Qui-Gon that appeals to you other than his physical characteristics?

QGR: Of course! What did you take me for?! A hormonal teenager?! Qui-Gon Jinn lived at an era where the Republic had grown blinded by corruption and mired in bureaucracy. The Jedi Order, unfortunately, had been enveloped in darkness due to their devotion to serving politicians, rather than focusing on preserving the balance of the Force. Qui-Gon refused to succumb to this arrogance; he served the Force with all of his being, even unto his death, and he was one of the purest Jedi who ever walked the stars. It was through Qui-Gon that Anakin was able to fulfill the prophecy of the Son of the Suns, the one who would destroy the Sith and bring balance to the Force. It was through the teachings of Qui-Gon that Obi-Wan was able to elevate Luke Skywalker to his position as the last of the old Jedi and the first of the new. Pragmatic, Force-focused, liberal minded Jedi. Jedi laboring in sevice to the light side of the Force. Qui-Gon's dream.

interviewer: Thank you, QGR. Well, I'm afraid that's all we have time for tonight. The rest of your personal information will be transmitted through the Holonet via a personal survey.

QGR: Thanks a lot, sir.

interviewer: No problem, QGR.

QGR: May the Force be with you.

[edit] The Deepest Secrets of the Force Divulged!

Name: Qui-Gon Reborn (QGR)

Age: young

Hieght: short

Eyes: two

Ears: a matching set

Religion: atheist (Smite me, almight smiter!!!)

Worst Person in the Galaxy: Palpatine (He has hungah for angah which will give him powah.)

Movies/TV Besides Star Wars: HOUSE MD!! Indiana Jones, Cleopatra, Citizen Kane, The Vikings, Alexander, 2001: Space Odyssey

Lifelong Goals: go to space, build a lightsaber, write a book, live forever (cyrogenics!)

Interests Beside Star Wars: Indiana Jones, sci-fi, writing, (I'm actually about five chapters into my Masterpiece.) history, mythology, Edgar Allen Poe, apple juice

Favorite Star Wars Movie: TPM, AOTC if Qui-Gon didn't exist, ROTJ makes me bawl, and ROTS is a piece of art

Favorite Color: orange, green, gold

If you could have any droid, what kind would it be?: a little remote to follow me around everywhere, haha, or a pit droid!!

Preferred Flavor of Death Sticks: cookies n cream

Drink of Choice: APPLE JUICE! (I used to get high on apple juice and KOTOR II. Don't ask.)

If you could be one place on Earth you'd be?: Skywalker Ranch (I'd probably break down and cry just seeing the place.) the Great Pyramids of Cheops, the Coliseum, Stonehenge

If you could be one place in the GFFA?: Korriban!!! I LOVE Korriban! It's like Egypt thrown in with Roman catacombs and given a Force-driven twist.

Favorite Star Wars quote: "Patience my blue friend." (Qui-Gon - TPM) "Your focus determines your reality." (Qui-Gon - TPM) "The ability to speak doesn't make you intelligent. (Qui...well...you get the idea.)

Random quirkyness that makes you QGR: my OCD-ness, my perfectionism, my creative genius, my modesty, my randomness, my love of LIFE!

What color is the Force: blue and just barely perceived when you've had one too many bites of ice cream and three math tests that week

Jedi, Sith, or whatever the heck Vergere is?: DEFINATELY NOT Vergere; evil little half-plucked bird; I am a Jedi Knight, I'm afraid.

If you were to have any Star Wars character for a roommate, who would you choose?: Well...since it has to be a girl, probably Mara, or Shel Jelavan, or even Jaina.

Favorite thing R2 can do: SCREEEEEAAAAM!!!

Would you go to the dark side to save the one you loved?: No. Would you want them to for you?: No.

Favorite Star Wars sound: the roar of the twin ion engines, the Wilhelm scream, Qui-Gon's voice, and, of course, the lightsaber (I think I could fall asleep to a lightsaber duel by now. Actually, I have. Watching ROTJ in the car on the way back from Disneyland.)

Do you consider yourself somewhat crazy?: No way. What makes you think that? *mwha-ha-ha-ha...*

If you could live in any time frame in the GFFA, which would it be?: The Golden Age of the Sith.

Force power?: TK for me!

Favorite word?: favorite word

Favourite SW character?: HA! Ummm...Yoda.

Favourite EU novel?: Darth Bane: Rule of Two!!! (A big shout-out to my great friend Drew Karpyshyn! 399 days until Bane III!!!)

Favourite game?: Star Wars game - KOTOR Non SW-game - Rome Total War

Favourite duel?: Duel of the Fates (love gettin' it stuck in my head, too -- great for concentration, having operatic undulations repeating in my head during a poli-sci exam)

Favourite Jedi?: Qui-Gon

Favourite SW item?: my Obi-Wan FX, hands down

Which character would I be for a day?: Tahl. Ummm...no explanation required.

In KOTOR, dark or light side character?: I am a being of the light.

CG or puppet Yoda?: CG forever!

Favourite school subject: ancient history

[edit] The Paradox of Time

Qui-Gon Reborn has the annoying habit of accumulating various questions in which there is no logical or apparent solution. Such as...

1. In outer space, when the hull of a starship device is breached, any organic object aboard the ship experiences explosive decompression. What happens if the hull is breached in hyperspace?

2. If the universe is everything, and it continues expanding, where is it expanding to?

3. If you are traveling at the speed of light, what happens if you activate a conventional light?

[edit] Piryte

Qui-Gon Reborn's lightsaber.

http://randomsabers.com/saber.php?name=Piryte

'Nuff said. *saliva drips onto keyboard*

[edit] Random Polls