The following are actual, real, verbatim comments put into the wiki by anons, and I warn you now, reading it will make you lose brain cells at a rapid rate.

This is otherwise known as one of the BJAODN archives.

Contents 1 October 17, 2005 2 October 27, 2005 3 October 30, 2005 4 October 31, 2005 5 November 7, 2005 6 November 8, 2005 7 November 28, 2005 8 November 30, 2005 9 December 1, 2005 10 December 3, 2005 11 December 4, 2005 12 December 6, 2005 13 December 19, 2005 14 December 25, 2005 15 December 28, 2005 16 January 5, 2006 17 January 31, 2006 18 February 1, 2006 19 February 3, 2006 20 February 12, 2006 21 February 17, 2006 22 February 19, 2006 23 February 20, 2006 24 February 25, 2006 25 March 1, 2006 26 March 4, 2006 27 March 5, 2006 28 November 8, 2006 29 November 24, 2006

October 17, 2005Edit

(Following crap added courtesy of MyNz)

From Jaina Solo

Jaina wears an 75A-Cup bra, she does not shave her pussy, she like gang bangs and anal sex with her brother Jacen. She did also rape a Wookiee and she licked the pussy of Mara Jade.

October 27, 2005Edit

• Death cat II: death and stuff
• Bread maker jones: a long time freind of lukes he suplies the bread
• Lard: lard... a strange planet of dogs
• The allercgic cow: the rebles of the allergic cow
• Galactic hamster: a secret order of bird food
• Nose: great food
• New mexico: the planet of the fish
• Jabba Desilijic Tiure roy rogers: a vile frog

October 30, 2005Edit

From Ord Bueri:

Ord Bueri is a planet located in the jewl system. Its one of the greatest planets in the galaxy.

October 31, 2005Edit

Re: Yuuzhan Vong organ grafting:

The Yuuzhan Vong were religious zealots who viewed mechanical technology as blasphemy. Their technological innovations were genetically engineered and purely organic, which gave them a distinct advantage in battle. Additionally, the Yuuzhan Vong were sado-masochists who strove to to improve their physical capabilities through organ grafting. Such grafting was a status symbol within Yuuzhan Vong society, in organ grafting the Yuuzhan Vong would often cut out the sexual organs of thier captured victims and graft them onto thier own, causing (in many cases) thier sexual organs to become 3 or four times thier normal size. In addition they would create organically based pressure tanks within thier testicles to facilitate massive eruptions of thier seed during orgasm. The cruel Yuuzhan Vong would raid distant world and enslave beautiful young females of any race and engage in weeks long orgies. Surprisingly the enslaved females would be so sexually satisfied that they soon feel in love with thier captors and refused to seek freedom, though constantly kept in halls where thier every whim was placated, the slaves would want nothing but to be drenched again and again in the warm salty seed of thier well endowed captors

November 7, 2005Edit

From Jubnuk:

He was on assignment to find Jabba's lucky charm and went on his mission without luck, asking the B'ommar monks and anyone he could find in the palace, but to no avail. He was going to tell Jabba but then Luke Skywalker arrived and the confrontation occurred. Protecting his master he intercepted Skywalker's gun and fell with him into the rancor pit. He was quickly attacked by the rancor and devoured. Luckily for him, his Gamorrean armor protected him from the bites of the rancor and he survived. After the Rancor was killed the rancor keeper Malikili, noticed a rustling in it's gut and cut it open to find Jubnuk alive and with Jabba's lucky charm.After learning that Jabba was killed he witnessed Bib Fortuna get his brain put in a spider droid by the monks. Bib then killed him for teasing him.

November 8, 2005Edit

From Mudman:

The mudmen are just what they are. Men made of mud. The smaller ones can be kept as pets. They are harmless and love shiney things.

November 28, 2005Edit

From Bib Fortuna:

Over time, however, Fortuna's goals changed, and the Twi'lek was later seen giving input to the Jedi Council. These contributions usually consisted of confused rants about whether or not various mythical events had actually taken place. His ramblings ranged from creative, such as claims that children's coloring books about Gungans were historical texts, to surreal, such as scientific theories that the honey of fire bees was actually fire in liquid form. His stint with the Jedi Council ended when , under unknown circumstances, he attempted to submit 300,000 pieces of information before the releasing of a new "Episode of Universal History". He was sanctioned for some of his nonsensical contributions, and was unable to meet his goal.

November 30, 2005Edit

(Following crap added courtesy of Riffsyphon1024)

From Durge's real butt:

Durge's butt is HUGE. Its very large and bulbous like a melon. His butt is the only part of his body that is soft and pink. He uses his butt to grasp things, and suprisingly strong!.

From Durge's nose:

Durge's nose always blows gooey forms of phlegm and "noze nuggets".it is very yucky indeed!, once General Grievous had to face Durge for his skill and won but was forever gooey with snot!. .And also, Durge loved picking his nose.

December 1, 2005Edit

(Following crap was called to my attention by CooperTFN)

"Deleted scene" listed on the RotS page: "A sabotage scene by Yoda, Tarfful, and Chewbacca. A Clone Walker passes by a lake. The Wookiee Chieftan Tarfful is lying dead on Wookiee boat. The clone stares at him for a moment and a furry creature covered in mud all over comes out of the water on to the boat. The clone asks the creature if anything is there. "Wookie good, eat Wookiee." replies the creature. The clone decides its just a native Kashyyyk creature and decides to leave. Immediately, Chewie jumps out of the water and pulls the clone underwater killing him. Then Tarfful wakes up and the creature reveals itself to be Yoda. He tells the Wookiees to give him a second to bathe. Yoda jumps into the water and scrubs all the mud off. Yoda emerges and puts on his robes. They then continue towards the emergency escape pod."

December 3, 2005Edit

Bastard Castle is the possible original intended name for Bast Castle.

Since Bast Castle sounds so similar, it is conjectured that it's because Darth Vader said, in its construction:

"This fortress will look so formidable, adversaries will think, 'Someone had to be a bastard to build this place!' So let's name it 'Bastard Castle'."

Construction Foreman: "Uhh, sir, don't you think the name--"

Darth Vader: (Whilst Force Pushing the Foreman to the ground) "ALL RIGHT! It'll JUST be named "Bast Castle". Are you HAPPY??"

Construction Foreman: "Yes, That name is both civil and evil now, Master."

The location of where Darth Vader said this, is conjectured to be on Vjun, at the Bast Castle construction site. If you have other reasons as to why Darth Vader chose "Bast" as the name of his private fortress, you may provide input here.

December 4, 2005Edit

(Following crap added courtesy of Riffsyphon1024)

The Search for Chewbacca's Gold: "Rumored to be the earliest example of Star Wars fan fiction, it was actually published unofficially, and secretly editted and approved by Lucas Himself, in order to generate hype for a Star Wars sequel at a time when the future of the series was uncertain and Lucas lacked the rights to publish his own continuation. Though not as widely known as it's sequel, the Rise of the Dark Falls, the Search for Chewbacca's gold has gained noteriety in late 2005, as individuals have been seen frequenting sci-fi convention claiming to have copies for sale to the highest bidder. Those who have seen these copies firsthand say he inside cover of the book reads "A Children's Star Wars Adventure: The Search for Chewbacca's Gold. By Derek Reda. Editted by G.L." No official plot synopsis has ever been made availible online, though an abundance of word-of-mouth speculation has speculated that the finale of the book contains a duel with a revived Greedo and Jabba the Hut."

December 6, 2005Edit

(Following crap added courtesy of Riffsyphon1024)

Chingchong5

"ChingChong5 Loves eating chicken. Me like Mr. Moo Mee. chicken's can talk. It's true. Billy Milone is my bestest friend!!!@@@##$$%^&*()_+. HeHehe."

Possibly an attempt by a delusional user, under the name of Chingchong5, to make his user page.

December 19, 2005Edit

(Following crap added courtesy of MyNz)

From Anakin Solo

Anikan Solo was born on Dantooine during the clone wars. His mother dyed trying to save him when the stormtroopers broke into their house. Luckily he survived by hiding quietly in a baket with a loaf of bread and a bottle of water. Later when he was about 18 yrs. old he was consulted with the task of defeating the evil clone palpatine though he did not do so he escaped. 5 yrs. later Darth Vater his Grandfather was killed trying to defeat the emporer who did so. He still mourns his Grandfather's death today.

December 25, 2005Edit

A powerful warlord that was married to Neema daughter of Veema Da Boda,Fed Neema To Rancors Before Neema's Mother Cut his dick off and and his body in off , then fucking him with a lightsaber,Luke then fucked every whore Ottetha knew and they gave him blowjobs and he came in their mouths

December 28, 2005Edit

Langhesy

A race of belly-dancing hoe-bags.

January 5, 2006Edit

From the vandalized Template:Featured article:

Star Wars is the single most annoying series of films, not only in the history of film, but in the history of mankind. It was created by a group of homosexual cocksuckers with nothing better to do than keep their heads up Lucas' ass all day and all night. If I had a dime for every time Rick McCallum sucked Lucas' dick, well, I would have the ungodly fortune of the great flanneled one. As I have over the last few months, I will continure to attack this sad excuse for a fan site, every chance I get. All articles covering the primary characters from the prequel shit trilogy will be the first to go. I will then commence attack on the administrators.

I will take the time to personally make the lives of everyone at this site a living hell for feeding the cash to such a dick ass whore as George Lucas.

You have been warned.

(Following crap added courtesy of MyNz)

From Jar Jar Binks

Immeadiatley after the celebration he was kidnapped by large black men and taken to an abandoned warehouse where he was raped and beaten to near death. Every inch of his skin was shaved off and he was drowned in boiling salt water. Unsatisfied, his assailants revived him and repeated the process, but this time shoved cattle prods up his anus and pee hole.

January 31, 2006Edit

(Following crap added courtesy of Riffsyphon1024)

Gas cloud

A gas cloud is a large, smelly, cloud that originates from that creature that farts in Jar-Jar's face in Episode I. They're invisible (most of the time)

February 1, 2006Edit

(Following crap added courtesy of Tinwe)

From Darth Vader

The funny breathing guy with a cape

February 3, 2006Edit

(Following crap added courtesy of Azizlight)

From '69.53.39.9':

Turkish Star Wars

Turkish Star Wars has scenes of Jedis eating hummus and talking to raisins.

February 12, 2006Edit

(Following crap added courtesy of Riffsyphon1024)

List of Ackbar jokes

• Question: What would Ackbar be called if he was a character on Nickelodeon?
• Answer: Gakbar

• Question: If Ackbar was a J-Rocker what would his name be?
• Answer: Gacktbar

• Question: What would Ackbar's name be if he were in jail?
• Answer: Blackbar

• Question: What would Ackbar's name be if he were on The Simpsons?
• Answer: Ackbart

• Question: What would Ackbar's name be if he were in a different George Lucas movie?
• Answer: Quackbar (referring to Howard the Duck)

• Question: What would Ackbar's name be if he were a member of the Church of Subgenius?
• Answer: Slackbar

• Question: What would Ackbar be called if he lived in San Francisco?
• Answer: Fagbar

• Question: What would Ackbar be called if he were on Saved by the Bell?
• Answer: Zachbar

• Question: What would Ackbar be called if he was friends with DMl33t?
• Answer: Hackbar

• Question: What would Ackbar be called if he were a eunich?
• Answer: Lackbar

• Question: What would Ackbar be called if he were a breakdancer?
• Answer: WiggidyWhackbar

February 17, 2006Edit

(Following crap added courtesy of CooperTFN)

Hey,why can't I make it where grievous can be resurrected? I mean,There isn't no law against fanon,so why can't I add something without you people deleting it,huh? -Stoll 7234

February 19, 2006Edit

From Owen Lars:

The Owen Lars in the movies was actually a clone. The real Uncle Owen left Aunt Beru for Obi-Wan. After Obi-Wan left with Luke, Owen went searching for Obi-Wan. After his search turned up nothing, he then learned that Obi-Wan had died. Outraged, he swore on his life that he would avenge Obi-Wan by helping Luke destroy the Empire. However finding Luke was a problem for him as well. Luke kept his tracks well covered, so once Owen managed to discover his location, Luke would be gone to the next place. Finally, with the help of Boba Fett (you gotta throw him in there somewhere, after all!), Owen manages to locate Luke, with whom he helps overthrow the Empire. Owen and Luke live then happily ever after. The end.

February 20, 2006Edit

(Following crap added courtesy of SFH)

From Mike Carr

Mike Carr once roundhouse kicked a pair of card sleeves, splitting them at GenCon.

February 25, 2006Edit

Spice-mice were small aquatic mammals native to the planet, Mustafar. Young Anakin Skywalker owned several spice-mice and would occasionally feed them to his pet spice eel. Shortly before the immolation, Anakin decided to give his last remaining spice-mice a fighting chance and dumped them into the lava off of the Fralideja platforms. An unidentified lavatic predator immediately consumed them as soon as they hit the lava.

March 1, 2006Edit

Hi i am really stupid and my name is Kyler Jackson and I am just typing random stuff into any textbox I see and this is a really big one so I am going to type alot here I hope you like reading because this is really OH NO! the police are onto me. See you laterrrrrrrrrrr.....

March 4, 2006Edit

(Following crap added courtesy of CooperTFN)

From Han Solo

When Greedo found Solo in the Mos Eisley Cantina, it became clear that Greedo intended to kill Solo rather than give him a chance to pay Jabba. Solo killed Greedo BEFORE Greedo got a shot out.

March 5, 2006Edit

The Patton is a crazy school teacher who likes to eat her students. She was fired from a different school and now works at St. Joseph. She is REALLY old and is creepy looking. She wants to be a singer and sing a song called Man I Feel Like a Patton.

November 8, 2006Edit

From Matthew Lawson

Matthew Lawson was a jedi known by all as the homosexual jedi. He used the force for his own gay pleasure. He made the first lightsaber dildo which only generated heat and with it being a heavier blade could be inserted into the anus for his own gay pleasure. Lawson was not a very skilled jedi and despite the fact that he was human there is not very much information about him. The Jedi council saw him as an embarassment to the jedi council and erased most information about him. Lawson does not appear in any of the episodes. It is believed that George Lucas was drunk when he created such a character. Lawson was the first Jedi to use the force for sexual pleasure. Many Jedi said he fell to the dark side of the pleasure force as he was the only homosexual jedi that ever lived. Lawson had a tendency to travel to Kashyyyk (planet of the wookies). It was said that he enjoyed the company of the male wookie there. He was later exiled from the planet as he offended Chewbacca asking him if he would "chew his bacca". Lawson also did many other strange and abnormal things. He was expelled from the jedi council when he confronted yoda saying "Love you long time I will". Lawson later died at the hands of palpatine. Palpatine killed Lawson with his deadly force lightning. It is believed Lawson like it though as he turned when it hit him so it would strike him on the backside. Lawson did not stay on as a force ghost but vanished forever.

November 24, 2006Edit

Hello Kitty is a Star Wars related show that has a lot to do with star wars. Therefore, you don't need to delete this page. Hello Kitty is about a demon-posesed cat on steroids that eats ewoks and wookies on a normal basis. Jello is its other favorite food. In its spare time, it enjoys water skiing, skating, mauling helpless chipmunks, and preforming anti-hernia surgery. He was first seen in Star Wars Episode III when he killed General Greivous with his steroid-powers. He likes to eat fried palpatine, and he was later seen scraping Mace Windu off the sidewalk with a saltine cracker. His hobbies include killing, homicide, death, and playing with his barbie dolls. If you see him, please call the Help!!! I Just Saw Hello Kitty Hotline!!!!

P.S. don't feed him donuts with hotsauce on tuesdays or when the moon is full.