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Featured article
nominations
                   
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The featured articles of the wiki are articles that represent the best Wookieepedia has to offer. This is not a way to showcase the articles of your favorite characters, spaceships, or the like.

So just what makes a featured article? Well, we've prepared a list just in case someone should ask that, and it is as follows.


An article must…

  1. …be well-written and detailed.
  2. …be unbiased, non-point of view.
  3. …be sourced with all available sources and appearances.
  4. …follow the Manual of Style, Layout Guide, and all other policies on Wookieepedia.
  5. …following the review process, be stable, i.e. it does not change significantly from day to day and is not the subject of ongoing edit wars. This does not apply to vandalism and protection or semi-protection as a result of vandalism.
  6. …not be tagged with any sort of improvement tags (i.e. more sources, expand, etc).
  7. …have a proper lead that gives a good summary of the topic and can be used for the front page featured box.
  8. …have no more than 3 redlinks and none in the introduction, infobox, or any templates.
  9. …have significant information from all sources and appearances, especially a biography for character articles.
  10. …not have been previously featured on the Main Page. Otherwise, it can only be restored to featured status.
  11. …be completely referenced for all available material and sources. See Wookieepedia:Sourcing for more information.
  12. …have all quotes and images sourced.
  13. …provide at least one quote on the article. A leading quote at the beginning of the article will be required only if there is quotable dialogue by or about the subject. Although quotes may be placed in the body of the article, a maximum of one quote is allowed at the beginning of each section.
  14. …include a "Personality and traits" section on all character articles.
  15. …ideally include a "Powers and abilities" section for Force-sensitive characters and a "Skills and abilities" section for non–Force-sensitive characters, where said powers and/or abilities are stipulated.
  16. …include a reasonable number of images of sufficient quality to illustrate the article, if said images are available.
  17. …pass review by the Inquisitorius review panel.
  18. …counting the introduction and "Behind the scenes" material, be at least 1000 words long (not including captions, quotes, or headers, etc).

For more information on what makes a featured article, see What is a featured article?


How to nominate:

  1. First, find an article you feel is worthy of featured status, putting it at the bottom of the list below; see criteria above. Note that a previously featured article cannot be featured on the Main Page again; however, it can be restored to featured status.
  2. Add {{FAnom}} at the top of the article you are nominating and save the page. NOTE: If the article you are nominating has been nominated for FA one or more times previously, you will need to specify a new subpage name as a parameter in the template (e.g. {{FAnom|Lorum ipsum (second nomination)}}).
  3. Open the redlink (in a new tab or window, if possible) and fill out the form according to the instructions provided.
  4. Copy the code provided to the bottom of this page.
  5. Purge the article to update the template.
  6. Others will object to the nomination if they disagree that the article is good enough; they will then supply reasons for doing so, and ways to improve the article (errors, style, organization, images, notability, sources).
  7. Supporters adjust the article until the objectors (with reasonable objections) are satisfied.
  8. The article is placed on the featured article list and added to the front page queue.
  9. Be sure to place your signature in the "Nominated by" line when the nomination is posted for voting.

How to vote:

  1. Before doing anything, be sure to read the article completely, keeping a sharp eye out for mistakes.
  2. Afterward, compare the article to the criteria listed above, and then either support or object the article's nomination.
  3. Please note that in order for your vote to count, you must have 50 mainspace edits.
  4. If you object, please supply concrete reasons for doing so, and how it can be improved. Please cite which rule your objection falls under, if possible. Failure to do so may result in your objection being considered invalid.
  5. As stated above, any objections will be looked upon by the nominator, supporters, and anyone willing to improve the article, and action will be taken to please the objectors. Do not strike other users' objections; it is up to the objector to review the changes and strike if they are satisfied.
  6. Once the minimum nomination period has passed, an article that has achieved the required number of supporting votes and has no outstanding objections will be added to the queue and be officially known as a "featured article." A nomination will be considered successful if one of the following criteria is met:
    • five supporting Inquisitor votes and no outstanding objections after at least a week;
    • four supporting Inquisitor votes, plus two additional supporting votes and no outstanding objections after at least a week;
    • three supporting Inquisitor votes, plus four additional supporting votes and no outstanding objections after at least a week; or
    • seven supporting Inquisitor votes and no outstanding objections after at least two days.
  7. Per Inquisitorius consensus, no Inquisitor may use their Inqvote on their own nominations.

Also remember to add {{FAnom}} at the top of the article you are nominating.

Every day the next article in the queue will be highlighted on the Main Page as featured, marked with the {{Featured}} template and removed from the list of nominations. The beginning of the article then appears on the Main Page via the {{Featured article}} template. Nominations that are inactive with outstanding objections for three weeks will be eliminated from the nominations list by the Inquisitorius.

All nominations will be considered idle and are subject to removal by Inquisitorius vote if objections are not addressed after a period of 3 weeks.

Note: All reduxed articles require only four support votes to maintain their Featured status, at least two of which must come from Inquisitors. Reduxed articles will be subject to removal if objections are not addressed after a period of 4 weeks, pending the support of at least three Inquisitors.


Featured article nominations

View recent changes for this page and its subpages

Revan

  • Nominated by: Cade StupidRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit Calrayn 21:52, June 13, 2013 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: 1) MULLET MAN FOREVAH 2) I'm incredibly sorry. 3) No, I'm not insane. 4) What can I say? I got bored.

(0 Inqs/1 Users/1 Total)

Support

  1. Now, if only movie main character articles could be this smooth...--ID-21 Dolphin DolphinJedi(Talk) 02:18, June 24, 2013 (UTC)
    • Only Lando's that smooth. Cade StupidRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit Calrayn 18:57, June 24, 2013 (UTC)

Object

Quick look from the Council Chambers:
  • I'm going to take Jang's comment and make it a formal objection. The intro is way too long. I can tell that simply by the fact that I have a 1080p display, and I still have to scroll down to read the rest of the intro. For comparison, Wedge Antilles is over twice the size of this article, yet his intro is just 607 words compared to Revan's current 1,428. Based on that, I'd like to see the intro cut at least in half. Summarizing is the key here; notice how the Wedge intro handles three X-Wing novels with a single sentence about Wraith Squadron. Let the reader get the details from the body; in an article of this size, small details don't belong in the intro. Three to four paragraphs of the current size, maybe four to five if the paragraph size is reduced, should be the target here.
    • Cut down to four with 672 words. Cade StupidRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit Calrayn 16:12, June 22, 2013 (UTC)
  • I may make a full review later if I get bored, but there's no guarantee. —MJ— Holocomm 22:57, June 21, 2013 (UTC)
SE decided to take a crack at it
  • Early life and Jedi training
    • In the first paragraph of this section, two sentences in a row are started with the, "The child" and "The Jedi Master" Would you mind switching one up a bit?
      • Uh... the first one is referring to Revan, and the second is the title of Kreia. I don't really see the need here.
    • Same with the second paragraph of that section
      • Same here. The two sentences are talking about different people. Cade StupidRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit Calrayn 16:14, June 22, 2013 (UTC)
        • Looking at it now, i'm not sure why I objected to this :P Apparently you object to some wierd stuff when reviewing while tired :P Supreme Emperor (talk) 16:40, June 22, 2013 (UTC)
The crown jewel of WP:KOTOR
  • These following objections are preliminary, although this section of objections will deal with the article in full. In addition, I intend to make this review my finest, as the scope of this article and the subject in question will require that.
  • Aboard the Endar Spire: Now believing himself to be a Republic soldier… If you could source his position as a soldier, that'd be great. I know that the Essential Guide to the Force, a conversation with Onasi in-game, and the TOR Encyclopedia.
    • Done.
  • Upon entering the next hallway, the two soldiers discovered a pair a Sith troopers and opened fire on the boarders. Continuing through the ship… So what happened to the troopers?
    • Done.
  • until they happened upon a Jedi and a Dark Jedi battling each other. Please link the Jedi and Sith to their respective articles.
    • Bah. I even looked at their articles while looking through the KOTOR articles.
  • Throughout the "Searching for Bastila" subsection, the image captions are in italics. Could you correct this?
    • Currently, I am unable too; there seems to be a problem with the {{Gamemechanics}} family that italicizes image captions if they are on the next line after the template. I'll have someone look into this.
      • OK.
        • Fixed. The templates in that family all had a stray '' near the end of the code. Removing that solved the issue. —MJ— Comlink 19:56, June 23, 2013 (UTC)
  • Did you check the CSWE for some information? I am only asking out of curiosity, because when I read through the article, I'll make a point to cross-reference. Nice job thus far, I'll continue later. I like how you handled my girl Yuthura.Jedi Kasra ("Indeed.") 14:19, June 23, 2013 (UTC)
    • Objection(s) overridden by Inquisitorius 02:19, July 1, 2014 (UTC)
    • Yep. Read through all three volumes for any mention of KOTOR, and used all the entries to establish as much of the game as canon as I could. Thanks.
  • Returning to May and the others, Revan informed them of the terentatek's defeat, and the grateful students fled the shyrack caves to freedom. Please reference this.Jedi Kasra ("Indeed.") 14:21, June 23, 2013 (UTC)
    • Done.
  • Don't forget to add that he used a violet blade in his duel with Malak, as far as Timeline 8 is concerned.Jedi Kasra ("Indeed.") 14:26, June 23, 2013 (UTC)
    • I wouldn't call that a violet blade; it's really more blue to me. Besides, going by Shadows and Light, Revan has a blue blade during the duel.
  • I would also like to add, thank God that that Chee actually confirmed that "Mullet Man" was the facial model used in TOR. I've been bugging him for months about this issue.—Jedi Kasra ("Indeed.") 14:31, June 23, 2013 (UTC)
  • The 8th paragraph of the "Searching for Bastila" section needs to be referenced.
    • Done.
  • In the 6th paragraph of the same section, you mention Nord without giving any context, which is located in the following paragraph. Please fix this.Jedi Kasra ("Indeed.") 15:13, June 30, 2013 (UTC)
    • Done.
  • Could you pipelink articles for the two brothers in the Outcast village?Jedi Kasra ("Indeed.") 15:14, June 30, 2013 (UTC)
    • Objection(s) overridden by Inquisitorius 02:19, July 1, 2014 (UTC)
    • I'm not seeing any articles for those Outcasts.
      • Please create them.
  • Please comb through the article and correct instances of using first names as opposed to surnames. Only where needed, though.Jedi Kasra ("Indeed.") 15:59, June 30, 2013 (UTC)
    • Done; I have left the naming of Bastila when her mother's involved, Mission when Griff is involved, Carth when Dustil is involved, and Canderous when his clan is involved. Cade StupidRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit Calrayn 16:20, June 30, 2013 (UTC)
  • I'm back, got my PC back. I'll continue where I left off. Been a hell of a few weeks.—Jedi Kasra ("Indeed.") 06:21, July 24, 2013 (UTC)
  • "At one of the nearby escape pods, an injured Republic soldier begged Revan for help…" An article for the infected Republic soldier would be good.Jedi Kasra ("Indeed.") 19:22, August 4, 2013 (UTC)
    • Done.
  • Revan, Shan, and Onasi then left the apartment only to be met by a Twi'lek messenger… An article for the Twi'lek would be great.Jedi Kasra ("Indeed.") 17:47, August 8, 2013 (UTC)
  • Still seeing some instances of first name usage as opposed to surnames, please fix where applicable. I'm reading through Tatooine.Jedi Kasra ("Indeed.") 21:54, August 13, 2013 (UTC)
    • Objection(s) overridden by Inquisitorius 02:19, July 1, 2014 (UTC)
    • Well, that section in particular needs more first name usage than the others—there's Mission and Griff, and Helena and Bastila. Cade StupidRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit Calrayn 22:01, August 13, 2013 (UTC)
      • True, though I had caught the early mention of "Canderous" in the section's first paragraph. I wanted to inform you of where I was in regards to reviewing the article.—Jedi Kasra ("Indeed.") 22:18, August 13, 2013 (UTC)
  • Could you create an article for the Sand People chieftan?Jedi Kasra ("Indeed.") 16:23, September 10, 2013 (UTC)
    • Objection(s) overridden by Inquisitorius 02:19, July 1, 2014 (UTC)
    • Linked. Cade StupidRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit Calrayn 19:21, September 27, 2013 (UTC)
  • You mention all the planets but Tatooine… Departing Dromund Kaas as willing servants of the Emperor, Darth Revan and Darth Malak followed the Dantooine and Kashyyyk Star Maps to locate similar Star Maps on Manaan and Korriban. Please fix. Possibly more to come.Jedi Kasra ("Indeed.") 17:10, August 8, 2014 (UTC)
    • Done.
  • On Korriban, Revan single-handedly defeated a pair of massive terentateks… Revan single-handedly defeated Mandalore the Ultimate… Could you use a synonymous term for one of your uses of "single-handedly?"Jedi Kasra ("Indeed.") 17:15, August 8, 2014 (UTC)
  • Sweet, I'll review some more and get back to you.—Jedi Kasra ("Indeed.") 17:38, August 29, 2014 (UTC)
Tiny details
  • For Revan's homeworld, "Outer Rim" is technically not a world, so it should say something to the effect of "an Outer Rim planet (believed)".
    • Meh. Done, though it looks funky.
  • Also, some images appear small compared to those on most articles. Perhaps it's just me.
    • Maybe true, but I've gone for a larger number of images than most articles, so I've kept the sizes down.
  • A few little grammar things on image captions: the caption should say "Darths (with an S) Andeddu, et. al., and the caption saying "Revan wearing his trademark mask" should not have a period. For minute details like these, ask me if you just want me to change them myself as I find them.
    • Done. I could have sworn I added that Darths.
  • The fourth paragraph of the into mentions the "Jed Master".
    • Done.</s>

Otherwise, awesome job!--ID-21 Dolphin DolphinJedi(Talk) 23:27, June 23, 2013 (UTC)

It is time for your circuits to fry!
  • In the Combat skills subsection of "Powers & abilities" you make no mention of his lightsaber skills and feats, you're simply describing Revan's lightsabers. Improve this.Winterz (talk) 14:51, August 26, 2013 (UTC)
    • His skills are highly customizable, and I'm not a fan of the "feats" section that lists every battle the guy's ever fought. However, I've added his two most notable duels. Cade StupidRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit Calrayn 16:40, August 27, 2013 (UTC)
      • I have no idea what you mean with a "feats" section nor has what you mentioned anything to do with what I requested but anyway, your recent update was sufficient! Winterz (talk) 17:28, August 27, 2013 (UTC)
        • I was referring to the kind of P&A that existed before I wrote the article up, and the kind that are present on articles like the Skywalkers. Cade StupidRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit Calrayn 17:58, August 27, 2013 (UTC)
          • You could've just said "the kind that will be terminated". Winterz (talk) 18:21, August 27, 2013 (UTC)
Clone fly-by
  • Is there no more information available on the deleted scene from "Ghosts of Mortis"? The Blu-ray edition of The Complete Season Three actually has an early version of the scene with 3D storyboarding, and while I don't have access to it myself, it should be detailed in the Bts somehow. CC7567 (talk) 21:35, September 22, 2013 (UTC)
    • I've gotten all of the information I could get from online at the moment; I will ultimately get ahold of the actual Blu-ray by the time this passes. Cade StupidRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit Calrayn 03:49, October 10, 2013 (UTC)
      • Please do. CC7567 (talk) 15:00, October 15, 2013 (UTC)
        • Done. Cade StupidRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit Calrayn 22:06, February 8, 2014 (UTC)
          • Even though the scene is cut content, can you take some more time to detail the scene? Treat the conversation as though it's in the IU part of the article in terms of the level of detail—among the missing details is the fact that the scene takes place in Mortis's Well of the Dark Side. It's all in the file that I emailed to you, so please expand it more thoroughly. CC7567 (talk) 22:11, February 8, 2014 (UTC)
            • Fair enough; expanded. Thanks again. Cade StupidRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit Calrayn 22:20, February 8, 2014 (UTC)
Fundraiser
  • Having gone no farther than the ToC, I can tell that the companions section is missing a few subsections. I figure the droids deserve a subsection, at least. Also, I could be wrong, but I'm under the impression that there might be a few characters from the novel or TOR that qualify. Expand it or kill it in the name of equality.SinisterSamurai (talk) 06:00, December 5, 2013 (UTC)
    • T3-M4 done; I'm working on HK-47. There really aren't any other characters that need one. Cade StupidRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit Calrayn 20:22, December 26, 2013 (UTC)
  • Request the image of Revan's potential female faces is re-added to the article. I don't entirely know why it was removed. It doesn't have to be a second image. Since mullet man is now highlighted with a box, you can probably just get away with re-uploading a version of Mullet Guy.png with this attached, but the final choice is up to you. SinisterSamurai (talk) 05:29, January 6, 2014 (UTC)
    • I'd rather not, as it's not really important, and it'll simply make the image rather wide. There's no real reason to have it; Revan's been canonically confirmed as a male for quite some time, and the only reason the Mullet guy image is there is to illustrate the point that the text is making about which character model is canonical.
      • Does that length of time make the other male faces "slightly less non-canon" than the female faces now one face has been chosen? I figure Gender no longer plays a role in whether or not a non-canon face deserves coverage. They are the same canon level, they deserve the same coverage: Equal or none.
        • It's a personal choice whether to use any image, and it's my choice to use the male faces. It's not required to show all of the potential faces; it was simply useful to illustrate the point the text is making. There's really nothing else to this. Cade StupidRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit Calrayn 04:55, January 7, 2014 (UTC)
          • If it's being voted on, it's a community choice, but at least the caption isn't misleading anymore. SinisterSamurai (talk) 04:46, February 10, 2014 (UTC)
  • I'm not seeing anything how the troops and jedi Revan sent to Malachor were not "Revan's strongest supporters," much reference to Revan's use of psychological tactics/waging a war of beliefs as well as a physical war. * SinisterSamurai (talk) 05:29, January 6, 2014 (UTC)
    • Added some notes, but noted that it's only HK-47's opinion.
  • I'm scanning, but I'm only seeing one reference to the Sith Assassination squads, and no reference that Revan trained them. * SinisterSamurai (talk) 05:29, January 6, 2014 (UTC)
    • There was one, but expanded regardless.
  • In the infobox, you list Arren Kae as one of Revan's masters, but source it to KOTOR1. It's been a long time since I've played KOTOR1, but I thought the first references to Arren Kae didn't appear until KOTOR2. SinisterSamurai (talk) 05:29, January 6, 2014 (UTC)
Exiled Jedi
  • Rise of the Sith
    • "As the title of Darth was previously unknown to the Republic and the Jedi, many scholars believed that Revan and Malak were the first Sith to use it, and they speculated that the title was derived from the Rakatan language." The part about the Rakatan language makes the positioning seem off, since as far as I know the Republic did not know about the Rakatan language at this point. The transition is a little too abrupt as well.
    • "The success of HK-47 led Revan to decide that more droids like him would help maintain galactic stability, and HK-47 became the basis for the HK-50 series of droids which were constructed on Telos." I don't think that this part can be sourced to the first game, at least from what I remember. The mention of them being constructed on Telos is a rather abrupt change since the last thing mentioned was the bombardment, which pretty much destroyed the planet. I believe additional context is needed if you are going to mention Telos.
    • I added redlinks for the Echani senator and the Elders' tome for this section.
  • Aboard the Endar Spire
    • "Continuing through the ship, Revan heeded Ulgo's recommendation to draw a vibrosword as they stormed the Sith-held bridge. When they were unable to find Shan, the two rushed for the escape pods so that they would not be caught in the Spire's destruction." I thought that Ulgo told him to use a vibroblade not a vibrosword, which are two different weapons in the game.
    • "Warning Revan to hurry, Onasi suggested that he use his stealth gear to bypass a nearby Sith patrol, and Revan quickly made his way through the next few corridors before Onasi contacted him again." I thought that scouts were the only class to have stealth gear at this point.
  • I will continue at "Searching for Bastila" later. (I had forgotten that I had already reviewed the first few sections of the biography.)--Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 05:30, January 5, 2014 (UTC)
  • Searching for Bastila
    • Doesn't the player encounter the bounty hunters and the merchant before they can encounter Largo or the Sith commander interrogating the Aqualish.
      • Not the way I played it.... I came out of my apartment and almost immediately ran into the Sith.
        • Not the one attacking the Duros, the one with the Aqualish where you get the uniforms.--Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 17:16, January 5, 2014 (UTC)
    • If the player defeats Twitch, Bendak Starkiller challenges the player to a death match. The light side decision for the player is to turn down the match. I think this would be good to mention.
      • Done.
    • You didn't mention the drunk guys or Gorton Colu anywhere.
      • Colu, check... drunk guys, though.... Do you remember when they show up?
        • I think the drunk guys show up when you first go to the elevator that takes you to the lower city.--Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 17:16, January 5, 2014 (UTC)
    • I'm not sure if this should be mentioned, but Revan can find that Zelka Forn had hidden some dying Republic soldiers in his facility.
      • Eh, it's a valid thing about Forn, but not necessarily important for Revan.
    • What about Selven?
      • Weird. I remember writing about her.
    • "A woman named Hester was arguing with the gatekeeper Trewin, begging him to let her husband Hendar back into the village, but Trewin refused because Trewin was pursued by a rakghoul and he could not risk the creature infecting the villagers." I think you mean that Hendar was pursued by the rakghoul.
      • Done.
    • I added a redlink for the Twi'lek who surrendered.
  • I will continue my review after you handle the above objections.--Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 16:08, January 5, 2014 (UTC)
  • Escaping Taris
    • There are a few planet related things you might want to mention.
      • What do you mean?
        • This was just talking about the three entries below, since I wasn't sure where they should go in the article. I'm sorry I didn't make it more clear.--Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 20:31, January 5, 2014 (UTC)
    • It seems to me that you should mention T3-H8 at some point since Revan can buy him and then returns him.
      • Done.
    • Don't forgot this guy: Unidentified Ithorian (Upper City).
      • Done.
    • Gelrood, the pazaak player in Javyar's Cantina.
      • Done.
    • I added a redlink for the receptionist, but you might want to change it since I can't remember if she was Twi'lek or Human.
      • She's Human.
    • Just making sure: Canderous meets Revan in the Upper City Cantina and then in the Javyar's Cantina. I was thinking that both meetings were in Javyar's.--Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 18:11, January 5, 2014 (UTC)
  • Learning on Dantooine/A Jedi once more
    • Could you mention Crattis Yurkal and Karal Kaar at Aratech Mercantile near the landing pad?
      • Done.
    • There is also a pazaak player named Sol'aa at the Enclave that you could mention.
      • Done.
    • After leaving the enclave isn't there some farmer and his wife that you can talk to?
      • Done.
    • Outside the enclave there is a merchant named Adum Larp.
      • Done.
    • Doesn't Dorak give the player some lesson about comparing the war with Revan and Malak to Ulic Qel-Droma and Exar Kun?
    • Doesn't someone inform Revan about the crystal cave full of Kinrath? You might want to say that Revan went to the cave.
      • Done.
    • I created a redlink for Montagne's husband.
    • Elise's article says that she meets someone named Samnt in the Jedi Enclave and if talk to her there she will thank Revan for helping her get over her husband's death.
  • I will continue my review later.--Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 21:16, January 5, 2014 (UTC)
  • The sand of Tatooine
    • "...the soldier was angry about the way he had been left out of the loop lately" The "left of the loop" part seems a tad too informal for an encyclopedia.
      • Done.
    • "Revan either chose to repair Venn's K-X12 probe droids or simply left the man to his fate and continued into the Dune Sea." I think you should reword this; maybe reword to say that Revan had to choose between saving him and leaving him. Wouldn't rescuing him grant a larger reward to the player anyway?
      • Done.
    • There is a pazaak player named Kudos at the Hunting Lodge.
      • Done.
    • Apparently, if you get the krayt dragon pearl before going to the enclave, you can get the tribe's storyteller to tell you about the Sand People's history. Not sure if this should be included and I haven't personally encountered this, but I thought I would throw it out there.
      • Yeah, I've seen this, but it's rather contrary to the basic storyline, so I left it out. Cade StupidRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit Calrayn 15:45, February 7, 2014 (UTC)
    • I added redlinks for the docking bay manager, Sharina Fizark's husband, and Fortuna's partner.--Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 03:45, January 25, 2014 (UTC)
    • There are also Furko Nellis and Junix Nard in the Anchorhead Cantina. Nellis plays pazaak and Nard is a vendor I believe.--Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 15:00, January 25, 2014 (UTC)
  • Into the Shadowlands
    • There is a pazaak player named Fodo Medoo in the Czerka area.
      • Done.
    • I thought the poachers had sonic emitters, not sonic prods.
    • I added a redlink for the Wookiee that Dehno killed and the Wookiee guard.--Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 21:20, February 9, 2014 (UTC)
  • I should be able to continue my review this weekend.--Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 15:04, April 16, 2014 (UTC)


praguepride
  1. If Revan is not his real name shouldn't it use the nickname tag?
    • No.
  2. Pronoun confusion: "Revan was betrayed by his Sith apprentice Malak and captured by the Jedi Knight Bastila Shan, who saved Revan and formed a Force bond between them." Which two is them? Or is it all three of them?
    • Changed.
  3. "His mind wiped, Revan was given a new identity as a Republic soldier by the Jedi Council, but when Malak attempted to capture Shan aboard the Republic warship Endar Spire above the planet Taris, Revan joined forces with the Republic officer Carth Onasi and a number of other individuals on Taris to rescue Shan and escape the world before Malak destroyed Taris's surface." Run on sentence that should be broken up. I would recommend also putting the mind wipe stuff in the paragraph before as it deals with Shan's encounter.
    • Tweaked.
  4. (In the Revanchrist paragraph) Is "prowar renegades" direct from source as it should have a hyphon. If it is direct then add the [sic].
    • From the source, but the sic is not necessary. That's for seriously-misspelled words.
      • We'll have to talk about this via IRC.
  5. "But in reality, the Mandalorians' own actions made it impossible for them to stand in the way of Revan's cause." - remove But.
    • Mhmm.
  6. "In the following weeks" should be [[week]]s
    • That's really a {{sofixit}}. Cade StupidRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit Calrayn 20:18, August 7, 2014 (UTC)
  7. more to come...

Comments

  • You have no life. On the other hand, amazing job. 501st dogma(talk) 21:59, June 13, 2013 (UTC)
  • I can't really tell on this screen resolution, but that intro is ridiculously big (no, this is no joke). JangFett (Talk) 22:03, June 13, 2013 (UTC)
  • Per dogma and Jang. Fe Nite (talk) 01:07, June 16, 2013 (UTC)
    • Well, I've asked around, and a lot of people believe it's a good length for the size of the article. A lot happens to this guy. Cade StupidRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit Calrayn 01:13, June 16, 2013 (UTC)
  • I won't lie Cade. You scare me. Commander Code-8 You lost the game! 10:17, June 25, 2013 (UTC)
  • I'm not sure if this is an objection worthy issue, but the segments dealing with the events shown in the novel read very differently from the rest of the article and seem more akin to a narrative than an encyclopedic article. I recall the article being marked for this problem in the past but the template appears to have been removed so perhaps I'm simply mistaken and this style of writing is permissible. Either way good luck with the effort; you carry the torch for all WP:KOTOR members and fans of KOTOR everywhere! JethLordMasterYing yang copy (Xia Order) 08:28, July 11, 2013 (UTC)
    • Hey, thanks. As for the narrative/encyclopedic thing, the article was actually tagged with a Copyvio template because a user actually copied most of the second half of the novel into the article without making many changes. I wrote up the TOR:Revan events while reading the novel, and I guess the reason it reads differently than the KOTOR stuff is because I can go more in-depth as to what actually happened, unlike KOTOR's conversations and the character's feelings. Cade StupidRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit Calrayn 14:44, July 11, 2013 (UTC)
  • Revan married Bastilla not Shan. That needs to be changed. Unsigned comment by 71.196.255.127 (talk • contribs).
    • Wookieepedia common encyclopedic practice is to refer to characters by their last name in further mentions after they have been introduced. Cade StupidRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit Calrayn 20:08, August 6, 2013 (UTC)
  • Revan looks horrible in Star Wars: The Old Republic... IMO. Is there any chance that the image of him on this page could be changed to one of him wearing his hood and mask? That's the Revan I remember... A badass. Unsigned comment by 118.93.35.26‎ (talk • contribs).
    • As this is his canonical face, no, there isn't. Cade StupidRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit Calrayn 16:03, January 3, 2014 (UTC)
  • Observation: Friday will be Revan's one-year anniversary of nomination, and it still has only one support vote. Prediction: Revan will take longer than Wedge did to pass. :P
    Master JonathanJedi symbol.svgCouncil Chambers
    02:12 UTC WedJune 11, 2014

Vote to strike Kasra's objections (Inq only)

  1. Inqvote Been addressed for several months, and Kasra's long gone. CC7567 (talk) 14:59, April 16, 2014 (UTC)
  2. Inqvote RL calls JangFett (Talk) 15:28, April 16, 2014 (UTC)
  3. Inqvote IFYLOFD (Enter the Floydome) 00:30, April 21, 2014 (UTC)
  4. Inqvote -- Darth Culator (Talk) 01:51, July 1, 2014 (UTC)
  5. Inqvote Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 01:51, July 1, 2014 (UTC)


Dud Bolt

(2 Inqs/2 Users/4 Total)

Support

  1. Thefourdotelipsis (talk) 00:56, November 13, 2013 (UTC)
  2. Inqvote IFYLOFD (Enter the Floydome) 06:08, March 1, 2014 (UTC)
  3. praguepride (Talk) 13:36, June 12, 2014 (UTC)
  4. Inqvote Sir Cavalier of OneFarStar(Squadron channel) 14:39, July 23, 2014 (UTC)

Object

Point IV
  • "Despite his rather rudimentary presence" - A rudimentary presence? Interesting turn of phrase, I think it might be a bridge too far though. Perhaps rudimentary "appearance"?
    • Mmm, maybe read it now.
  • Section, quote, sub-section doesn't quite work. Find a home for it in one of the subsections.
    • Must... Add... More-Quotes... To balance... Heh, but alright.
  • "Not in it to win it himself" - A bit informal and reads oddly, rephrase.
    • How about now?
  • "The Vulptereen's aggressive tendencies furthered themselves" - I'm not sure that tendencies can further themselves per se -- perhaps something like "amplified" would be advisable.
    • Thesaurus is always useful, though amplified does seem pretty good.
  • "Around 32 BBY, the next iteration of the Boonta Eve Classic on the Outer Rim planet of Tatooine was announced." - You've sourced this to TPM... strictly speaking this does not happen in TPM.
    • Well, strictly speaking, no it's not announced, per-say. I see your point.
  • "Sebulba found Dud Bolt having a drink, and promptly insulted the Vulptereen. Bolt took little offence while Sebulba explained it was only an act, meant to hide the fact that Bolt was working for him. Sebulba even claimed that he respected the Vulptereen pilot. As such, Sebulba cautioned Bolt to be extra careful of the contestants and to keep his eyes open for any signs of trouble or plotting. Meanwhile, only a few seats away in the bar the aging Devlikk pilot Wan Sandage had hired on the Glymphid hit-man Aldar Beedo, whom Sandage wanted to finish off Sebulba during the race." - Both PBP and extraneous in parts.
    • Condensed
  • "Fode Annodue, introduced the pilots, cheerfully welcoming Bolt and his podracer back to the Boonta." - It should be established earlier that Bolt has raced the Boonta Eve Classic, then.
    • Ok
  • "Jabba the Hutt, the host for the race, arrived in his personal viewing box soon after and exorbitantly announced the start of the race. The pilots burst out of the starting grid and raced onto the track with the Hutt's go-ahead." - Condense.
    • Condensed
  • "Two pilots, however, were left behind–Anakin Skywalker and the Toong pilot Ben Quadinaros. Skywalker was able to start off a little later after readjusting his pod while Ben remained grounded for the rest of the race." - Irrelevant, this is Bolt's biography, not a summary of the race.
    • Condensed
  • "Skywalker was able to catch up with the rear of the pack soon after, overtaking Bolt and several other podracers. Dud Bolt remained in the rear of the pack for the remainder of the race." - Repetition of "rear of the pack", break it up a tad.
    • How's that
  • A part of the article, namely Guo's removal causing difficulty for Skywalker is from the DVD-onwards incarnation of TPM. A separate cite should be used for this.
    • Mmm, okay.
  • "However, sometime around 24 BBY, Sebulba ejected Bolt from his job at the Dug's side" - An odd way of phrasing it. How about "Sebulba terminated Bolt's services as his in-race bodyguard"?
    • Mmm, how does it look now?
  • "Sebulba ejected Bolt from his job at the Dug's side and instead hired Aldar Beedo, the very Glymphid who was once hired to kill Sebulba, to work as Sebulba's new bodyguard." - Sebulba three times in the same sentence, break it up.
    • kay
  • You're going to need to provide a more detailed citation for Bolt's "presence" in AOTC.
    • Not sure what you mean, but I gave a source for the identification of that planet as Ando Prime (As otherwise it's never mentioned in the film itself). If you mean "Is it him", looking closely in the cockpit during the scene and in the new photo, the cockpit is clearly not empty, and the round shape of Bolt is in there, though shadowed. Look at the CGI podracer in the databank and note the the shape.
      • Screencap addresses the issue.
  • "In the end, however, Bolt was never able to completely finish off Aldar Beedo during a race, as Beedo was captured by a mercenary on Baroonda" - Repetition of Beedo. In general, try to break up the way that you refer to characters.
    • Okay
  • "As for Sebulba, his fate was not recorded, though he had both a son named Hekula, and a grandson named Pugwis." - Irrelevant.
    • Condensed, as we never know if Dud Bolt catches Sebulba or not, as Sebulba's fate is never revealed, or not yet anyways. Wasn't totally sure how to word it though, but I feel it should be mentioned, as he shouldn't just simply disappear from the article whereas we learn that Bolt never gets Beedo.
  • "though if his course demeanor ever slowed him down, his pod's boost package generally threw him back into the thick of things, where he preferred it." - A lot of informal phrasing, and "course demeanor" is doesn't really function well as a description.
    • Alright, how does it sound now?
  • "He did not care much for his pod's appearance and his track activities were obvious with the battle scars that his pod showed off." - Repetition of "pod"
    • Okay, er, now?
  • "After he was more-or-less double-crossed by Sebulba, an enraged Bolt vowed to destroy his old employer and his new bodyguard, Aldar Beedo." - This is out of place in the P&T, in the middle of a part where you're talking about how Bolt regards and treats his own pod. Split it up and rejig it.
    • ¿Qué pasa ahora?
  • "Bolt had rather short legs, which were quite dwarfed by his long arms, that were more than double the length of his legs. Bolt had yellow eyes and skin that was predominately grayish-blue, though it had areas of a much lighter blue that bordered the color of white, along with a yellow patch on his stomach." - Sentences starting the same way, repetitive.
    • Tried to vary it a bit now
  • Elements of the P/T that are describing the Vulptereen species have nothing to do with his personality or traits, which is that that section is for.
    • Alright, removed the echolocation info. Maybe it'd be useful if it could be related to his piloting ability.
  • "As such, Bolt held on to these traits." - Feels out of place and doesn't mean anything. "He had given skills and as a result he kept them."
    • How does it read now
  • "However, his skills weren't ubiquitous or all-consuming." - How would his skills be ubiquitous? Perhaps you mean "flawless" or even "impeccable" or even "indefatigable" or something like that, but certainly not ubiquitous.
    • Yah, that was the wrong terminology. How about now.
  • The skills section keeps talking about "skills skills skills" - Break up the descriptors a bit.
    • Okay, how does it look now?
  • How can the character have first appeared in a video game that came out on the same day as the film? Perhaps mention that he's in the film, and is a playable character in the tie-in video game that was released on the same day. This is especially so given that he's a puppet and principal photography was done in 1997 or something.
    • It's just that both appeared on the same day, which is mentioned. Now, if we wanna get real technical and just not use the tag, then we can go off the fact that TPM had a midnight release, thus meaning it opened before regular business hours for a store, as such meaning it was available to the public before the game was, even if they were released on the same day. I don't think principal photography really matters at all, because as far as I know (And if I'm wrong) the Appearances section is about release date, above all else. Unless that's not what you meant, in which case, I have no idea.
  • If the character truly appears and it's not just his pod in AOTC, a screenshot would be in order. Thefourdotelipsis (talk) 23:35, November 7, 2013 (UTC)
    • Explained this further above, but I added the shot, replacing that awful old one, where Bolt wasn't even in the cockpit! --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 01:50, November 10, 2013 (UTC)
El Jefe
  • Is it really proper to just refer to a podracer as a "Pod"? I've only ever seen the full term used.
    • I'm pretty sure I've seen this, but I will check again to see if the slang is used in any actual source.
      • Actually, I'm fairly certain Anakin refers to one simply as a "P/pod" in The Phantom Menace, when he's talking about he had managed to save most of his racer during his last crash. I'll have to watch it again, but I'll just note that here real quick. It might not be "proper," but it'd be in-universe slang. --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 17:19, February 27, 2014 (UTC)
  • "Dud Bolt targeted the Nuknog pilot Ark Roose to knock out, and while he was successful in knocking Roose from the race," Double knock.
    • Fixed
  • Context on Teemto Pagalies.
    • Added
  • "hired the Glymphid hit-man Aldar Beedo to off Sebulba during the race" To "off" Sebulba is pretty nice mob lingo, but probably too colloquial for this.
    • Wan Sandage is Michael Corleone's third-cousin four times removed. (fixed)
  • "As for Sebulba, his life ended fatally in a fashion his enemies would've been pleased with," First off, "life ended fatally" is pretty redundant. Also, any info on this? IFYLOFD (Enter the Floydome) 00:49, February 9, 2014 (UTC)
    • Fixed redundancy. The NEGC is vague. It simply states he died in a way those who didn't like him would be happy with. There's nothing else I've seen that actually states when he died or how. I think the CSWE doesn't even mention it at all. --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 19:49, February 9, 2014 (UTC)
Attack of the Clone
  • A few preliminaries. First, unless he is consistently referred to "Dud Bolt" (and not "Bolt") in every single appearance/source, he should only be referred to as "Dud Bolt" at the start of every main section, and then "Bolt" each time afterward. The article calls him "Dud Bolt" almost every single time, which is unnecessary.
    • Finished this part. Yah, I seem to do that a bit, and I can't say I know why. Maybe because "Dud Bolt" is relatively short for a full name? I dunno. Anyways, this part, I think, has been addressed.--Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 01:17, May 21, 2014 (UTC)
  • Please check your linking. There are a few duplicate links and potentially some missing ones, so please give the article a thorough copy-edit. CC7567 (talk) 05:25, May 20, 2014 (UTC)
    • I only found one duplicate link, but otherwise I added links, fixed some spellings, etc... Link wise, I hope it looks good. --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 02:37, May 23, 2014 (UTC)
  • Star Wars: Power of the Jedi should use {{HasbroCite}}.
    • Actually, looking back, I'm not entirely sure why Bolt is listed for that line. He never appeared as a figure, although if Sebulba had, he may have been mentioned. I'll add the cite for now regardless. --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 21:20, June 14, 2014 (UTC)
      • Actually, per the last Mofference, templates like {{HasbroCite}} shouldn't be used unless they specify more information and don't simply just add a logo to the source, so it shouldn't be used without more information on the set/pack, etc. In any case, please verify why it's listed. CC7567 (talk) 21:24, June 14, 2014 (UTC)
        • Hm, he may have been mentioned on a Sebulba toy? I know some of the PotJ stuff came with info pamphlets. Rebel Scum probably knows. (So really this comment is jist thinking out loud). --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 19:41, June 21, 2014 (UTC)
          • Okay, added information about the pack Bolt was mentioned in.--Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 03:32, June 23, 2014 (UTC)
            • {{HasbroCite}} with all parameters filled out was fine by itself; the addition of the {{C}} tag was a bit unnecessary, so I've removed it. CC7567 (talk) 05:02, June 25, 2014 (UTC)
  • Please thoroughly check your Sources list to make sure everything is in the proper publication order. I'm noticing a few publications that are out of order.
    • This still needs to be addressed. CC7567 (talk) 01:00, July 8, 2014 (UTC)
      • Sorry about that. This should be sorted now, with some notes: THe Nintendo Player Guide has nopublishing information that I've been able to find, other than some websites claiming 1999, which I believe the book states in its opening pages. THe book has no Month or day, however. Also, the Fact File didn't have a date, so I left it where it was. --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 01:14, July 8, 2014 (UTC)
        • Toprawa has compiled a helpful list of approximate Fact File dates. While not official, it's the closest thing we have to laying down definitive publication dates for the Fact Files. CC7567 (talk) 01:15, July 8, 2014 (UTC)
          • Alright, fixed up the source order then, using that. I'll be sure to get to the passive voice thing soon. --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 01:49, July 13, 2014 (UTC)
  • "Bolt targeted the Nuknog pilot Ark Roose to knock out": the use of "knock out" without a following direct object is rather awkward; please reword.
    • Should look better now. --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 03:58, June 23, 2014 (UTC)
      • Please check your changes. "remove from the race" is insufficient without a direct object after "remove," seeing as it's being used as a transitive verb in this case. CC7567 (talk) 05:02, June 25, 2014 (UTC)
  • "Skillful and well known on the track, many hypothesized that on the occasions when Bolt lost": dangling clause; the subject of the first dependent clause ("Skillfull…") doesn't match that of the second, independent clause ("many…"). Please reword.
    • Does it look any better now? I just removed a bit that seemed like it was repeating earlier info. --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 03:58, June 23, 2014 (UTC)
  • Would it be applicable to pipelink alcohol when you mention "drink"?
    • It's never made clear what he is drinking. In fact, the only character in that comic who appeared to drink alcohol was MArs Guo, whose drinking isn't even mentioned in the article. If we want 'drink' to simply link to something, okay, but otherwise it's never actually stated what he's drinking. It could just be water for all we know. --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 21:20, June 14, 2014 (UTC)
  • The article varies between "Fode Annodue" and "Fodesinbeed Annodue." I'd suggest picking one and sticking with it.
    • Fodesinbeed should be used when referring to the two heads, and Fode when it only applies to the red head. As for the TPM Game quote, I'm using that as seen on other articles that the quote can be found. I actually can't say if Fode speaks that line or Beed. I'll try to look through some more lets plays though on youtube. --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 03:58, June 23, 2014 (UTC)
  • "Already during the first lap had Sebulba smashed Mawhonic apart in the Mushroom Mesa, and later roasted the engines of Holdfast with an illegal flamethrower before knocking Guo out of the race by throwing a piece of junk into Guo's engine intake,[5] a move that almost dispensed of Skywalker as well." This can definitely be split up.
  • Please avoid using words like "ill-fated" and "lucky." Unless we have conclusive evidence that something is related to an individual's luck or destiny, it's POV-oriented wording.
    • Removed ill-fated. As for lucky I thought it was used/referred as in the NEGC? --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 02:12, June 27, 2014 (UTC)
      • Even if it's from source material, I personally treat it as POV-oriented. I'd prefer to limit any direct references to luck unless there's clear, indisputable evidence that something is "lucky." CC7567 (talk) 08:19, June 29, 2014 (UTC)
  • "During the next race, Holdfast was killed by Beedo on Sebulba's behalf during a race on Coruscant." Please avoid using passive voice, i.e. it should be "[x] killed [y]" instead of "[y] was killed by [x]" so that there's a clear relationship between the subject, the active verb, and the direct object. Please thoroughly check for this in the rest of the article as well. Also, you mention the race here twice, which is unnecessary.
    • I haven't checked the rest of the article, but that example should be good for now. --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 02:12, June 27, 2014 (UTC)
      • I'm not seeing a change regarding passive voice—it needs to read something like, "Beedo killed Holdfast and xyz happens." CC7567 (talk) 08:19, June 29, 2014 (UTC)
  • "Bolt ended up having the chance to down Beedo after the collision, but was unable to do so." I'm rather confused by this, since at this point, it's already stated that Beedo has died, and yet now it's stated that Bolt has the chance to "down" Beedo after a collision. What exactly was the chain of events—collision, Bolt getting the chance to down Beedo, and then Beedo dying? I'd suggest rewording this so that it matches the order of events as much as possible.
    • Er, Beedo never died. In fact, it looks like you just contradicted what you pasted above. :P Holdfast was killed by Beedo. Beedo never crashed, having only bumped Holdfast. In truth, the sentence should be reworded... --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 21:20, June 14, 2014 (UTC)
  • "though it was never revealed if Bolt had been the cause": this isn't definitively stated in the cited source. Also, since we should be writing from an IU perspective, we shouldn't be making these kinds of conclusions unless there's explicit evidence from a published source.
  • "as after he was more or less double-crossed by Sebulba": first, please fix the passive voice here. Second, the use of "more or less" is confusing—either Bolt believed he had been double-crossed, or he didn't.
    • The passive voice portion of this objection still needs to be addressed. CC7567 (talk) 01:00, July 8, 2014 (UTC)
      • This should be fixed by now, as well. --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 18:47, August 8, 2014 (UTC)
        • The passive voice was still present, so I went ahead and took care of it myself. It needed to read something like, "Sebulba double-crossed him" instead of "he was double-crossed by Sebulba." CC7567 (talk) 22:51, August 20, 2014 (UTC)
  • I don't think it's necessary to go into the level of detail in the Equipment section regarding his Podracer. In particular, the vehicle's colors don't seem to be directly relevant to Bolt himself—what's more interesting is the fact that he didn't care about maintaining his vehicle's appearance. Details that are specific to the vehicle and not to Bolt himself should belong in an article about the vehicle.
    • Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.... Added information about his flag. Databank mentions that flags colors were chosen to represent a homeworld or because they simply liked the colors. Regardless of why Bolt has those colors, his Podracer colors match his flag colors. This makes the colors relevant, in my opinion. In addition, the game guides seemed to act as if some of those vehicle traits were specific to Bolt's vehicle. THe amount of damage on his would probbaly have an effect on his vehicle, making it different than the stock vehicle. Also, while it can be argued as game mechanics, the stats are different between Racer and Revenge, thus leading to more of a personalized vehicle (In another argument, we can say that we have no idea how a stock Vulptereen 327 acts). --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 02:12, June 27, 2014 (UTC)
  • The first sentence of the Bts is a run-on and can be split up.
  • The Bts uses both self-sourcing and direct sourcing via refs. Please pick a single method and use it consistently.
    • I might need some clarification on this one. I try to just source bits of facts that can't be self-sourced, like I imagine appearances don't need to be sourced. --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 19:49, July 2, 2014 (UTC)
      • After giving it further thought, it's acceptable as it is. CC7567 (talk) 01:00, July 8, 2014 (UTC)
  • No mention of Kinect Star Wars in the Bts? CC7567 (talk) 20:44, June 14, 2014 (UTC)
  • As I've already said, please thoroughly check the article for passive voice (e.g. changing "[x] was [verb] by [y]" to "[y] [verb] [x]") so it can be eliminated where it's unnecessary. Also, there are several objections that have exceeded the three-week limit for inactivity. I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt and avoid starting a removal vote for now, so please take care of them as soon as possible. CC7567 (talk) 01:00, July 8, 2014 (UTC)
    • Alright, went through it again, now, and tried to correct as much of this as I could find. --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 23:30, July 13, 2014 (UTC)
Cav
  • The Unlicensed tags should be removed. As they stand, they imply that Star Wars Kinect is an unlicensed product which is not the case, and that the information contained within was released without LFL's knowledge or consent. - Sir Cavalier of OneFarStar(Squadron channel) 15:15, June 17, 2014 (UTC)
    • I thought that the Kinect story was ambiguously canon? I mean, the Podrace story mode is seperate from the more confusing stuff, and doesn't seem to contradict anything (Unless the fighting on Felucia was a clone fight, in which case it does contradict with the fact Aldar Beedo was incarcerated before the Clone Wars, but the fighting troops didn't look like clones or droids much, so...), which would make it canon then, and thus no tags should've been necessary in the first place? --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 19:41, June 21, 2014 (UTC)
Cadeth
  • "constant warring on the track" - what do you mean?
    • Guides cite him as very aggressive. He picked a lot of inflight fights with other competitors, thus he was always in conflict with others on the track (warring, in another word).
  • "Decidedly not participating to win races," - same here. Was he not trying to win before Sebulba recruited him?
    • He may have been. One of the guides, on its Malastare 100 page, cite that Bolt has attempted, and achieved, record times. But, once hired, he was there to make sure Sebulba was the one who got to win.
  • "Many hypothesized" - many what? Bit more context.
    • Oh, looks like I forgot a word.
  • Was Bolt one of the interviewees? If not, the discussion of the interview is rather detail-heavy.
    • Good point. I cut it down a bit.
  • The same goes for the race segment. Are all of these details about Sebulba's actions necessary?
    • Probably not in the detail I went into. I kept the Guo bit, though, as Seb and Bolt sabotaged him early on. Also, are the Phuii still the Phuii? Or are they Bardottans now?
  • Context on the Galactic Trials.
    • Ok
  • "racked up on the knockout charts," - racked up what?
    • I figured this was self-explanatory, as what else would one "rack up" on a knockout chart, although leaving it like that does seem a bit... I don't know, slangish?
  • "Bolt took well to the course" - that's a very awkward sentence. Please rephrase.
  • I'll continue after these. Cade StupidRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit Calrayn 20:43, August 27, 2014 (UTC)

Comments

  • Do we add Legends/Canon tabs? Bolt was named in The Phantom Menace. --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 18:46, May 11, 2014 (UTC)
    • Eventually, all subjects that appear in both the films and TCW (with a few exceptions) will require Canon/Legends tabs. The current version of this article, as with Kam Nale, is the Legends version. CC7567 (talk) 18:48, May 11, 2014 (UTC)
      • So in other words, it's not time to implement them yet? --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 19:13, May 11, 2014 (UTC)
        • No, the tab system CT needs to pass before anything can be implemented. CC7567 (talk) 19:14, May 11, 2014 (UTC)
          • O-oh, I see. I thought it did end up passing. My mistake. Thanks for the info, though! --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 19:20, May 11, 2014 (UTC)
            • And, now that the Tabs are being implemented, we do that here too now? I figure though that the canon tab won't affect the nomination for this Legends article, and as such would be treated as its own beast, yes? --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 01:18, May 21, 2014 (UTC)


Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic (comics)

  • Nominated by: Cade StupidRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit Calrayn 16:06, November 1, 2013 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: An awesome comic series. I honestly don't remember why I started this; it and Revan will be my largest and probably only contributions to WP:KOTOR. Mr. Miller's production notes were a fantastic help. Also, yes, the article is 350kb in terms of characters, but over 100kb of that is references, images, quotes, and formatting—I've checked.

(0 Inqs/0 Users/0 Total)

Support

Object

Lee's charge
  • Exalted: Why is Rime Feeorin italicized?
  • Damn you, Cade, I don't have time for this. Will continue with Vindication. Clone Commander Lee Talk 10:01, May 2, 2014 (UTC)
  • Vindication: It is a little bit unclear why Q'Anilia dies. Is this said in the comic?
    • Explained.
  • That's it for the plot. Clone Commander Lee Talk 10:12, May 17, 2014 (UTC)
  • Zayne: others rescue Jarael and a number of Jedi from Flashpoint.[29] After the group rescues Zayne's father Arvan from the Moomo Brothers on Telerath: Can you change one use of rescue? Plus is knighted really capitalized? Clone Commander Lee Talk 13:32, May 21, 2014 (UTC)
    • Done, and yes, I believe so. Cade StupidRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit Calrayn 14:26, May 27, 2014 (UTC)
So long -_-
  • Commencement: "...who are wearing red space suits identical to the foreseen Sith Lord..." Umm, when were they wearing the suits?
  • Commencement: Could you possibly clarify that T1-LB is the same Elbee that appears later?
  • Flashpoint quote: Shouldn't Zayne's name be mentioned first in the quote attribution since he speaks first?
  • I'll continue from Day's of fear later. 501st dogma(talk) 14:21, July 10, 2014 (UTC)
  • Nights of Anger: "...whose illness is growing steadily worse..." You might want to explain before that Camper is ill, or just reword it here to inform the reader for the first time that Camper is ill.
  • "... Mandalore explains that he has turned the Questioner into a martyr that has Mandalore and his lieutenant Cassus Fett helped spread the Neo-Crusader philosophy and armor throughout the Mandalorian ranks..." It's not really sounding right here. I'm pretty sure helped should be before Mandalore and not before spread, but remedy it however you see fit. 501st dogma(talk) 17:41, July 10, 2014 (UTC)
  • Done up to Knights of suffering. 501st dogma(talk) 17:41, July 10, 2014 (UTC)
  • Knights: "Upon recognizing Del Moomo..." Uh, since when was Moomo on Taris?
  • Still Knights: "...and Hierogryph keeps hold of the detonator as they flee..." Um, the detonator to what?
  • Exalted: "...Carrick has been in the Sanctum of the Exalted, he cannot be harmed by weapons..." Any particular reason? Is it a tribe tradition? :P
  • I'll start with Prophet Motive later. 501st dogma(talk) 22:35, August 1, 2014 (UTC)
  • Swoop racing part: "Dyre is reinvented as the swoopduelist "Spikes," and Carrick is surprised when Goethar Kleej threatens and coerces him into protecting his son Aubin in the Tandem Open." Could you clarfiy if "Spikes" or Carrick was assigned to protect Aubin? It's vague at the moment.
  • Masks: Context on Wor Tandell?
  • "To her surprise, when she returns to the Hot Prospect, Jarael encounters Malak, and Carrick is surprised..." Could you kill a surprise?
  • Done up to Main Characters. 501st dogma(talk) 22:38, August 26, 2014 (UTC)

Comments

Ghest

  • Nominated by: Ayrehead02 (talk) 16:47, January 6, 2014 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: Be my ghest, be my ghest...

(2 Inqs/2 Users/4 Total)

Support

  1. The ghest who's coming to dinner. ~SavageBOB sig 16:13, January 8, 2014 (UTC)
  2. I ghest i should vote now Manoof (talk) 02:15, March 11, 2014 (UTC)
  3. Inqvote Seeeeeee my vest, see my vest, made from real gorilla chest, feel this sweater, there's no better than authentic Irish setter. IFYLOFD (Enter the Floydome) 00:21, May 23, 2014 (UTC)
  4. Inqvote Sir Cavalier of OneFarStar(Squadron channel) 18:55, September 2, 2014 (UTC)

Object

Savaged…
  • Be sure that your quote attributions don't have punctuation (like the first one ends in a full stop, but shouldn't).
  • "Originally believed to be responsible for carrying away the souls of the dead, ghests were feared by the sentient Rodians also found on Rodia, due to the fact the predators sometimes attack and ate entire primitive Rodian villages." Can you reword this sentence so that Rodians are mentioned much earlier? The "Originally believed" part doesn't say who believed that, so it sounds like it was a pan-galactic belief, which I know you didn't mean to imply. :)
  • We need context on the FarStar on its first mention in the lead.
  • The Biology and appearance section makes it sound like the only way they could reproduce was to get sperm from dead males. Is that so? Or could they reproduce conventionally as well? (By the way, you may have the dubious honor of adding a sperm article to the Wook, to go with breast as one of our most-read articles!)
    • Fixed, but I think I'll leave the sperm article for now since technically I'm allowed a redlink in the body :P I don't feel like starting up that controversy for now. Ayrehead02 (talk) 14:38, January 8, 2014 (UTC)
  • Be sure to mention that they had two sexes in the Biology and appearance.
  • I think you can go into a bit more detail about their anatomy in Biology and appearance. For instance, their eyes are bulbous, featureless discs at the front of the head, the maw is surrounded by a patch of bumpy skin of a different shade from the rest of the hide, their limbs are relatively thin in comparison to the body, and their head meets the forelimbs in piles of wrinkles.
    • Added the details you mentioned. Ayrehead02 (talk) 14:38, January 8, 2014 (UTC)
  • Currently, you use both ghest and ghests as the plural. Which one is correct?
    • Changed all to ghests. Ayrehead02 (talk) 14:38, January 8, 2014 (UTC)
  • Can we say by what point Kalon Lenitor was considered legendary? Like, is he alive and well in Alliance Intelligent Reports, meaning we can date him to that book's time period?
    • His daughter is detailed in the book but he's just mentioned in her entry. I could add that his daughter was alive during the Galactic Civil War but it doesn't seem that relevant. Ayrehead02 (talk) 14:38, January 8, 2014 (UTC)
  • You should probably note in BTS that the ghest was actually illustrated first and then given a back story, since Creatures of the Galaxy was designed such that the artists had free reign and then the writers came in. ~SavageBOB sig 13:41, January 8, 2014 (UTC)
    • Added. Thanks for the review! Ayrehead02 (talk) 14:38, January 8, 2014 (UTC)
Manoof
  • Is it mentioned specifically that they eat large herbivores?
  • "Female ghests generally foght harder than males, and if a female killed her partner, she could still extract his sperm and reproduce, but if the female died, no reproduction could take place." Can this be reworded or split into two sentences, seems too long.
  • There seems to be a few spelling errors that might not be picked up by spellcheck as they spell different words - guest instead of ghest, ten instead of then for example. I fixed those but you may want to double check the rest of the article, though i didn't notice any others. Manoof (talk) 13:24, February 12, 2014 (UTC)
    • Thanks for getting those! I can't see anything else either, but I'm sure other reviewers will pick up anything we missed. Ayrehead02 (talk) 12:23, March 10, 2014 (UTC)
El Jefe
  • "Originally believed to be responsible for carrying away the souls of the dead by the sentient Rodians also found on Rodia, who feared the predators due to the fact the that they sometimes attacked and ate entire primitive Rodian villages." Isn't really a sentence. There's no subject.
  • Do we have a year or time period when the Republic made contact with Rodia?
    • Not that I can find. They seem to appear first in the Old Republic period but they might of been found at any point before that. Ayrehead02 (talk) 13:44, May 20, 2014 (UTC)
  • I'm thinking that the tidbit about the Rodians trying to save the ghests should go in History. The Ghests in the galaxy section can then talk about individual ghests.
  • " The ghest lived in a series of durasteel tunnels once used as an irrigation system for farmland, but abandoned after the city of Eror Zeen was built on the fields. The creature lived in the murky rainwater" Back-to-back "The ghest/creature lived in" sentences. Should be condensed into one.
  • You don't need to use {{CSWECite}} in the Sources section if it has its own entry. IFYLOFD (Enter the Floydome) 02:22, May 19, 2014 (UTC)
Toprawa
  • The BTS is mostly just unsubstantial fluff that does nothing but regurgitate the Sources list. These sentences should just be removed, while sticking to the bare meat and potatoes of what needs to be expressed in this section: "The species was then mentioned in a number of other sourcebooks for the roleplaying game, starting with the Alliance Intelligence Reports in 1995." [...] "Later that year, the species was mentioned in Star Wars: The Roleplaying Game, Second Edition, Revised and Expanded, and in Gundark's Fantastic Technology: Personal Gear in 1997. They were mentioned in Rodia's entry in The Essential Guide to Planets and Moons, written by Daniel Wallace and released in 1998. After that, the ghest did not appear until 2009, when they received and entry in The Complete Star Wars Encyclopedia." Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 21:02, May 27, 2014 (UTC)
    • Cut down to just the first appearance and the roleplay choice stuff. Ayrehead02 (talk) 09:22, June 1, 2014 (UTC)
  • As far as BTS material that is actually saying something, what does this mean, the creature existed first as an illustration? If the ghest was both pictured and mentioned within Creatures of the Galaxy, I don't understand how this makes sense: "The creature existed first as an illustration by Peter Venters; writer Chuck Truett then created the creature's backstory and designed rules allowing for the creatures to be used in the game." Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 21:02, May 27, 2014 (UTC)
    • Basically I remember reading that the creatures were all drawn by the artists and then their descriptions were written based on the images. I can't double check that at the moment however since I still can't access my sources, but my laptop should be repaired by Wednesday latest so I'll fix it as soon as I can which should still be within the two week time limit for this objection. Ayrehead02 (talk) 09:22, June 1, 2014 (UTC)
      • Ok got my sources back and checked in the book. I've reworded the bts to make it clearer and referenced it. Ayrehead02 (talk) 16:20, June 9, 2014 (UTC)
  • My next question was going to be the one I see you just asked to Cav below. I'm assuming the 8 ABY date needs a specific reference. Please check. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 06:27, June 28, 2014 (UTC)
  • You're missing information from the Shadows of the Empire Planets Guide, page 7. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 18:42, September 2, 2014 (UTC)
Cav
  • You need to rework they info on the Ghest on the planet Danoor (which you incorrectly stated was Daroon). You currently place the events in the rebel era, referring to the FarStar as a Rebel vessel. The FarStar is a New Republic ship, and the adventure is set in 8 ABY in the New Republic era. - Sir Cavalier of OneFarStar(Squadron channel) 15:59, June 17, 2014 (UTC)

Comments

Mandalorian Wars

  • Nominated by: Cade StupidRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit Calrayn 04:13, February 10, 2014 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: I was bullied persuaded into noming this. The result of one of my random writing sprees.

(0 Inqs/0 Users/0 Total)

Support

Object

Code-8
  • In the prelude the link to the Battle of Onderon is incorrectly tensed.
    • Done.
  • The sentence that links to the Republic navy is in present tense
    • Done.
  • In the speakers bit for the quote in the Influenced to war section its unclear whether Revan or Canderous is saying the quote
    • Done.
  • In the first paragraph of the war section you repeat the words massacre and Cathar a bit too close together.
    • Technically, Cathar means both the species and world, but done. Cade StupidRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit Calrayn 23:06, May 12, 2014 (UTC)
  • Will continue the review later. Great work here :) Commander Code-8 Felicitations malefactors! 10:19, April 14, 2014 (UTC)
  • First Battle of Omonoth, you link to and introduce Meetra Surik when this is already done in the Serroco section.
    • Done.
  • The Revanchists join the fight the Council misinterprets the vision—actually referring to the forthcoming Jedi Civil War Please fix the tensing.
    • Done.
  • I'm up to the Mandalorian Triumph. Also I've sofixed some typos for you. Commander Code-8 Felicitations malefactors! 00:21, May 16, 2014 (UTC)
  • In the last paragraph of the Mandalorian Knights section there's a few sentences where you repeat Kace's name a few too many times.
    • Done.
  • You could also probably expand the sizes of some of the images as its a little hard to see what's really happening in some of them. Commander Code-8 Felicitations malefactors! 11:59, May 26, 2014 (UTC)
    • Done.
  • Could we get an article for the Republic captain killed at the Battle of Jaga's Cluster?
    • Redlinked.
  • The "Driving them back" sectino has a repeat link to Meetra Surik.
    • Done.
  • I think you've missed a link to the Battle of Malachor V in that section.
    • Done.
  • There's a bit in the second last paragraph in the aftermath where you refer to Mandalore the Preserver as Ultimate.
  • In the aftermath Mandalorians subsection could you give a little info on how Canderous and Revan became buddies?
    • Done.
  • In the first Bts paragraph I think we need a source for Miller using the comics to develop the Mandalorians into a fighting force.
  • That could be it for now but I might double-check some things. Commander Code-8 Felicitations malefactors! 08:02, June 7, 2014 (UTC)
  • There appearances section says it appears in a TCW episode as a mural, can this be mentioned in the Bts?
    • Eh, there's no need to mention every appearance in the BTS.
  • "The advance is halted" there's a redirect to the Obroa-skai system. Commander Code-8 Felicitations malefactors! 05:44, June 9, 2014 (UTC)

Comments

  • I was unaware I was so persuasive. :P MasterFredCommerce Guild(Whatever) 04:14, February 10, 2014 (UTC)
  • In "Prelude", the relationship between Mandalore the Ultimate and Unidentified Mandalore needs to be ironed out. Mostly because you are using this image, which may in fact be the Unidentified Mandalore based on the KOTOR sourcebook and Pena's intentions. And if so, there is some subtext about how Mandalore the Ultimate served the Sith, ie Mandalore the Ultimate being a Sith agent that secretly replaced the Unidentified Mandalore. This is the reason why Mandalore the Ultimate was removed from FA status, based on this comment under "From 4dot", and due to Mandalore the Ultimate's importance in this conflict, I think it needs to either be mentioned in the main body or ironed out in the BtS. Protectorate (talk) 04:25, February 10, 2014 (UTC)
    • Resolved via our extensive discussion on IRC. :P Cade StupidRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit Calrayn 05:26, February 10, 2014 (UTC)


XJ-6 airspeeder

  • Nominated by: JorrelWiki-shrinkableFraajic 12:00, March 15, 2014 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: I suppose it's only fitting that a return to semi-active editing would mean my first FA should be returned to Featured status. And man, this article definitely needed that rewrite.

(2 Inqs/1 Users/3 Total)

Support

  1. Ayrehead02 (talk) 11:05, March 16, 2014 (UTC)
  2. Inqvote Sir Cavalier of OneFarStar(Squadron channel) 14:50, July 23, 2014 (UTC)
  3. Inqvote IFYLOFD (Enter the Floydome) 01:09, August 12, 2014 (UTC)

Object

Ayrehead
  • Quite a few redirects that need fixing. Ayrehead02 (talk) 22:42, March 15, 2014 (UTC)
  • I think the other model of airspeeder that Greyshade owns is identified in an image caption in the Viva Space Vegas blog entry. Ayrehead02 (talk) 22:42, March 15, 2014 (UTC)
    • At first I thought it was an OOU reference to a model of car for some reason (probably because I was working on this article in the dead of night), but a quick Google search has shown me otherwise. Added and links to the respective articles have been made. JorrelWiki-shrinkableFraajic 06:23, March 16, 2014 (UTC)
  • "as the Jedi had previously flown one of the senator's personal vehicles two years prior and was the only convertible speeder on the lot." I think your missing and it in this sentence. Ayrehead02 (talk) 22:42, March 15, 2014 (UTC)
    • I was. Fixed the sentence so it flows a little better, too. JorrelWiki-shrinkableFraajic 06:23, March 16, 2014 (UTC)
  • In the behind the scenes you need to mention the source that the speeder first appeared in, as well as what source identified it. Ayrehead02 (talk) 22:42, March 15, 2014 (UTC)
Cadeth
  • *slap* Redirects, young Jorrel.
    • In my defense I didn't know Orange existed. Things have changed.
  • Also, the Sources list should be listed chronologically by release date. Cade StupidRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit Calrayn 14:42, March 24, 2014 (UTC)
    • Thought I'd fixed it, but now I've actually fixed it. JorrelWiki-shrinkableFraajic 03:40, March 25, 2014 (UTC)
Attack of the Clone
  • A few preliminaries. First of all, the infobox needs to have thorough linking just like the intro and body of the article.
    • Linked.
  • Per the Layout Guide, the majority of information that's currently in the infobox also needs to be repeated in the body of the article. All technical specifications in the infobox should be added to "Characteristics."
    • Added to prose. Did not know the actual tech specs were to be in the article itself, but they're all there now.
  • Two things regarding the use of Fact File 29: first, why is it listed twice in the Sources section? Second of all, each use of {{FFCite}} should include the page numbers, i.e. "ANA23" or whatever it is in the Fact File.
    • Leftover from re-organization for the first part. Wasn't familiar with the second, which poses a problem as I am no longer in possession of the FF in question. I'll ask around to see if I can get a fresh copy.
      • And now I have that resource. Just have to ask the right people, I guess. Added. JorrelWiki-shrinkableFraajic 23:27, June 5, 2014 (UTC)
        • Minor, but please make sure the page notation follows WP:DASH. CC7567 (talk) 17:34, June 7, 2014 (UTC)
          • I, uh... oy. I have nothing. It's been fixed. JorrelWiki-shrinkableFraajic 10:05, June 8, 2014 (UTC)
  • Image captions should not be punctuated if they aren't complete sentences.
    • Cleaned.
  • All quotes from the online HNN article (now defunct) should ideally link directly to the specific article, not HoloNet News Vol. 531 56. You can use one of the backup links if you need to.
    • Done, though I feel that there's a better way to do that, somehow, like make some sort of hovertext showing where it's from, even if the link points to the actual article. Something for another time, I suppose.
  • Does the speeder appear in the regular AOTC novelization? I would think it would, even if the specific model isn't mentioned.
    • Yeah, it's there. Don't know why I didn't think of AotC having a novel. Oversight corrected and found a source for the Fact Files' mention of a flag in the engine.
  • I'll give a full review once the above objections are fixed. CC7567 (talk) 19:18, May 20, 2014 (UTC)
    • With exception to page numbers, everything's fixed. Working on that last bit. JorrelWiki-shrinkableFraajic 06:31, May 21, 2014 (UTC)
  • Is the Sources list completely ordered by publication/release date? There seem to be one or two sources that are out of place, so please make sure it's in the right order. CC7567 (talk) 21:07, May 21, 2014 (UTC)
    • I ran through it again and the only thing that was out of order was the Fact File, which doesn't have a firm release date listed on either page. I was estimating the 29th issue to be sometime much later than the start of the run in 2002. I've moved it to the 2002 listing, though, since I guess that's the only solid date I have at my disposal. JorrelWiki-shrinkableFraajic 03:20, May 22, 2014 (UTC)
      • According to the backup link for the (now defunct) Episode II Design article on StarWars.com, that article was published on June 1, 2001, but it's near the bottom of the Sources. Since that article was published before Star Wars: Obi-Wan, it also appears as though {{1stm}} would be appropriate for that article. CC7567 (talk) 18:16, May 22, 2014 (UTC)
        • Ah, I had not noticed the date on the blog post itself. Moved to the top and added the 1stm. JorrelWiki-shrinkableFraajic 19:38, May 22, 2014 (UTC)
  • Not an objection per se, but the Anakin's airspeeder canon page should ideally be filled out properly, since readers will be curious to see the canon version of the article.
    • Been meaning to, but haven't gotten around to it. Proper-fied.
      • On that note, though... I'm not positive we should even have a Canon article based on our current canon notability policy. It is only referred to as "Anakin's airspeeder" in now-Legends material. The movie does not give it an explicit name and the speeder does not have an Encyclopedia entry. I do realize that the upcoming Mofference has the notability policy as a topic, so perhaps something will be determined then. JorrelWiki-shrinkableFraajic 02:26, June 17, 2014 (UTC)
        • Yeah, actually I don't see any canon sources that refer to the speeder by name, so the canon page's notability is rather questionable right now. We can revisit this after the canon article discussion at the Mofference. CC7567 (talk) 04:58, June 25, 2014 (UTC)
          • The Mofference did not address this, so I'm going to revert it back to its redirect. JorrelWiki-shrinkableFraajic 06:24, July 8, 2014 (UTC)
  • "The XJ-6 was tracked down by Coruscant authorities after the chase had ended over a hundred kilometers from its original spot in the Senate District": please avoid using passive voice where possible, i.e. "[x] tracked down [y]" and not "[y] was tracked down by [x]," as it is currently. Please check the rest of the article for this.
    • I'm not positive, but I think I nabbed 'em all.
  • Since we have an article for Greyshade's individual B69 speeder, it seems prudent to have one for Greyshade's specific XJ-6 airspeeder. The XJ-6 airspeeder article (for the model, not the individual speeder) should be able to remain mostly the same, as long as it covers mainly the speeder model and not the individual speeder itself. What do you think?
    • I'm a little torn on this, since there's nothing that states that this speeder is part of a line (a mistake I had made previously due to misreading sources). In the case of the B69, Greyshade's model was "apparently modified," suggesting there's other B69 Elekras. For the XJ-6, though, every source indicates it's a custom-built model based off of a Narglatch AirTech prefab kit. Essentially, Simon Greyshade's XJ-6 airspeeder is the XJ-6 airspeeder, and the only XJ-6 that exists is Greyshade's. I can't think of any unique ships of the top of my head, but I'll change my stance on this if you know more than I do on the SOP. I have made a link for the prefab kit Greyshade used, though I am not quite sure on the naming.
      • Yeah, I thought that might be the case (it being the only one of its line). I'll ask around to get some other opinions, then I'll get back to you. Also, please make sure to create XJ-6 prefabricated kit, since it's the intro where redliks aren't allowed. CC7567 (talk) 03:05, June 16, 2014 (UTC)
        • I believe I have developed an adequate compromise (which also helps deal with the XJ-2 airspeeder article, which has the same issue) in the creation and linking of XJ-6 airspeeder kit and prefabricated kit (and, for the XJ-2 article, XJ-2 airspeeder kit). The kit article covers the overall XJ-6 "line", which was used to create the XJ-6. JorrelWiki-shrinkableFraajic 02:26, June 17, 2014 (UTC)
          • I'm a bit confused—what exactly do you mean by the XJ-6 "line"? Because whatever airspeeder product line/uncustomized vehicle/base model for the XJ-6 should ideally be at XJ-6 airspeeder, and any other custom works at another title. Or am I missing something? CC7567 (talk) 04:58, June 25, 2014 (UTC)
            • When you put it that way, I'm reconsidering myself. We know that no source indicates any other XJ-6 speeders beyond Greyshade's. The only "line" that's explicitly mentioned is the Narglatch prefabricated kit, which both the XJ-6 and XJ-2 databank entries mention as the base for a "custom special". The creation of the "line" article was an attempt to specify (per the XJ-2 databank entry) that Narglatch had at least two different kits available, but it's possible that I'm speculating a bit too far on that. I'm sort of confused myself on this, actually, since I'm not positive what my justification was back when I was doing this work and I'm at a loss for what to do now. JorrelWiki-shrinkableFraajic 07:10, June 25, 2014 (UTC)
              • After reviewing both Databank entries, I think the article should be fine as it is, as long as it explicitly specifies Greyshade's modifications as such—where known, of course. In cases where it's not clear whether a feature was a) from the base model or b) was a modification on Greyshade's part, I think it's safe to assume the former, since we don't really have any evidence on what a base model XJ-6 looks like anyway. I'd recommend going through the article just to make sure that Greyshade's customizations are specified as such, but I won't keep this as an open objection; I'll go through any remaining spots with you once I start reviewing the article body. CC7567 (talk) 08:27, June 29, 2014 (UTC)
                • Alrighty. Pretty much everything is alluded to being Greyshade's modifications in ICS, but individual components are not specified as being stock/mod. Anything that is, though, has been noted (mainly engines and color). JorrelWiki-shrinkableFraajic 06:24, July 8, 2014 (UTC)
  • This isn't a policy per se, but any referencing should ideally use individual comic issues where applicable, and not comic story arcs like Star Wars: Republic: Honor and Duty.
    • Taken care of.
  • I'll continue with the body of the article once these are addressed. CC7567 (talk) 05:32, June 15, 2014 (UTC)
Cav
  • Usually, I don't quibble with info box images, but in this case I think that the forward facing shot used in the main body would serve better since it prominently displays the forward mounted engines. - Sir Cavalier of OneFarStar(Squadron channel) 16:30, June 17, 2014 (UTC)
    • IIRC, the only reason the two weren't swapped was because the rear shot was "movie" quality, while the head-on shot is an illustration. That said, I agree, and I've swapped the images accordingly. JorrelWiki-shrinkableFraajic 17:41, June 17, 2014 (UTC)
Floyd
  • Should we say that Anakin "borrowed" the airspeeder in the infobox? Sounds like he stole the damn thing. :P
    • Technically, stolen and returned. Perhaps "appropriated" would fit?
  • "aware of oncoming objects. An electric field system ensured that oncoming objects," Let's avoid repetition.
    • Repetitive repetition reworded.
  • "Using a kit produced by Narglatch AirTech, Greyshade's personal mechanics took months to perfect the resulting craft," And it took them years to get the color, right? Does that fit into the History?
    • Good point. Added in there.
  • Context on The Works?
    • Contextified.
  • "Coruscanti officials found the vehicle shortly thereafter, was over 100 kilometers from its original position in the Senate District." Words missing here?
    • Nah. Okay, yeah, so now there's more missing but it's an actual sentence now.
  • "and the Jedi had flown one of the senator's personal vehicles one year prior." Quick question: Do we know that this factored into Anakin's decision-making when he stole the speeder? Like, did he actually know that the XJ-6 belonged to Greyshade? I don't think there's anything in AOTC or Viva Space Vegas that indicates that he did.
    • You're correct. Mostly put in there to tie the two craft together, since Anakin drove both, but it's not confirmed as a reason to choose the XJ-6. Speculation removed.
  • "though it is unknown if the speeder available then was Simon Greyshade's speeder or simply a model based off of the original XJ-6 airspeeder." It's unknown? Does Galaxies actually say that it was unknown?
    • I... don't think so, upon reading the card again. It doesn't give an explicit confirmation that it's either option, either. The card/deed only states "With its Podracer-like forward mounted turbine engines and bold color, it's no wonder this custom-built luxury hot rod speeder caught Anakin's eye. This item may only be claimed once per character." I'll remove the unknown.
  • "to locate assassin Zam Wesell's assassin" Let's try to avoid the double "assassin" :P
    • Aw, I liked that. Gone.
  • "There is some conflict surrounding the accusation of Reymet Autem in the theft of the speeder, due to the Autem family's departure from Coruscant one year prior to the HoloNet article." Expand on this. Which two sources are conflicting? Also, give context on this "HoloNet article". IFYLOFD (Enter the Floydome) 00:29, August 11, 2014 (UTC)
    • Leftover from the original nomination. I don't even really feel that it's necessary (though I was told it was), since it's entirely possible that not all of the Autems left, or Reymet may have come back. I think it may be best to just remove the statement altogether. JorrelWiki-shrinkableFraajic 17:15, August 11, 2014 (UTC)

Comments

Battle of Corellia

  • Nominated by: Cade StupidRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit Calrayn 20:15, April 16, 2014 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: Project Hero. It's finally here, after all those damn redlinks.

(0 Inqs/1 Users/1 Total)

Support

  1. Reviewed on IRC. Clone Commander Lee Talk 22:12, April 16, 2014 (UTC)

Object

QGJ passing by
  • Some inconsistencies related to the Consular story parts I noticed while working on the Barsen'thor page. First of all, the pirates under Captain Valon only join your army if you choose the dark side option to let Valon free on Hoth. The light side option has him taken into custody, and since we assume full light side playthrough for Rep characters this should be changed.
  • A minor one, but if you want to, you don't need to source the fact that Bakvalen Hall was the home of Bakarn's family to the Encyclopedia. You can find out about this during the mission, and actually use this info in convo with the First Son.
  • The whole part about Nadia leaving for Sarkhai, I'm not sure that ever happens in the game. I know it is listed in the quest description over at various TOR sites, but neither in my light side playthrough, nor in the dark side one I've checked online, the First Son never said anything about a fleet at Sarkhai. Please double-check this.
  • I'll try to give it a full review later. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 10:59, May 18, 2014 (UTC)
  • Intro: and members of the former Balmorran resistance Not counting Zenith, Tai Cordan, and the Barsen'thor himself, you can't really say that the Balmorran resistance participated in the battle.
    • Didn't Cordan bring forces with the rest of the Rift Alliance?
  • Linking can be improved quite a bit IMO. I've only gone through the first part of the article and added quite a few links. Stuff like invasion, fleet, shield, and many more, all have articles which can be linked to.
  • The Bts can be potentially expanded with alternative options in various class missions. For example, in the Trooper story, when you are informed of the apartments being firebombed, you can choose not to save the civilians but rather go steal Imperial dropships while the Empire is occupied there. Later, the Lucky Lancer can be destroyed instead of moved. These are just the ones I'm aware of. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 11:22, July 16, 2014 (UTC)
    • I'll look at this over the weekend. Cade StupidRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit Calrayn 17:04, July 18, 2014 (UTC)

Comments

Dromund Kaas operation

  • Nominated by: Cade StupidRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit Calrayn 18:38, April 20, 2014 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: The second of my GAs-merged-with-other-articles-and-FAN'd articles. Project Hero.

(2 Inqs/3 Users/5 Total)

Support

  1. Clone Commander Lee Talk 19:52, April 26, 2014 (UTC)
  2. 501st dogma(talk) 14:52, July 10, 2014 (UTC)
  3. Inqvote Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 03:03, July 14, 2014 (UTC)
  4. Inqvote IFYLOFD (Enter the Floydome) 01:10, July 20, 2014 (UTC)
  5. Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 15:44, August 9, 2014 (UTC)

Object

Lee's charge
  • Infobox: Double-linking. Sorry for not fixing it myself, but maybe you want to add the Republic Navy as you mention it prominently in the intro?
  • Intro: A date would be great.
  • This article is a "battle" right? Why are there "combatants" fields empty?
  • Intro: The Hero had foiled the Emperor's recent attempts of the Emperor's agents to massacre thousands on the planets Belsavis, Voss, and Corellia, a sacrifice which was necessary to start the Emperor's dark side ritual to consume all life in the galaxy, and the Jedi hoped to kill the Emperor before he could complete his plans. : Too many Emperors IMHO. Please find a way to substitute one/two of them.
  • Prelude: Can you source 3642 BBY to Annihilation?
    • Yeah, it states that war started two years earlier. Cade StupidRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit Calrayn 19:42, April 26, 2014 (UTC)
  • The operation: If you mention Rusk's and Carsen's first name, please also give us Kimble's.
  • The operation: but the Sith ruler unleashed an explosive blast of Force lightning that threw his enemy across the room. Acknowledging the Hero's strength in the Force, the Emperor unleashed a blast of Force lightning directed straight at the Jedi: Two times "unleash/blast force lightning": Please change one.
  • Political stuff: All of the group except for Lord Scourge received the Cross of Glory, the Republic's highest honor, and Shan elevated the Hero to the rank of Jedi Master.: Wait, Scourge did not receive the Cross? His article and the article on the Cross itself say otherwise.
    • Fixed.
  • No images for the body?
  • The galaxy at large: Incredibly powerful in the Force, the Dread Masters found that none in the Empire were powerful enough to command their loyalty: Is incredibly said in the game or POV?
    • Yeah, they're established as such.
  • BtS: Is there any more stuff known regarding whom you rescue. A quote would be nice.
  • I changed the a link in the "Appearances" section, please tell me if you're fine with it.
    • Per the recent CT, Star Wars: has been dropped from the title. Cade StupidRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit Calrayn 19:42, April 26, 2014 (UTC)
  • Great job, to be honest, I expected nothing less. Clone Commander Lee Talk 12:11, April 26, 2014 (UTC)
    • All done. Thanks. Cade StupidRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit Calrayn 16:56, April 26, 2014 (UTC)
Cade FANoms need some love
  • Context for Dromund Kaas in the Prelude?
    • Already has context. I'm not giving the bolded Dromund Kaas context, if that's what you're asking.
      • Prelude, not intro. It's not clear what it is now (Planet, moon, space station....) 501st dogma(talk) 14:48, July 10, 2014 (UTC)
  • "I will not be contained I cannot be redeemed. Death is all that remains, and you will not kill me." Are you missing punctuation in the first part of the quote here? A comma perhaps?
    • Period.
  • "...thus, the committee's conclusion was that the Emperor was in fact dead. Thus, in the aftermath of the..." Kill a thus pls.
    • Done.
  • "freeze the oceans of Manaan" and "set fire to Ord Mantell."" Context for the two worlds here would be nice.
    • They're direct quotes, so I'm not going to modify them, and it's awkward every other way, so no. Cade StupidRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit Calrayn 14:32, July 10, 2014 (UTC)
  • As an aside, the Emperor's Ritual crisis infobox has a </td at the bottom for some reason. :P Good work. 501st dogma(talk) 21:21, July 9, 2014 (UTC)

Comments

CT-7567

  • Nominated by: CC7567 (talk) 21:48, May 4, 2014 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: Since this project is five years in the making, I felt it needed a preface, so please pardon the ramble. To put it simply, I believe this article's construction symbolizes the Wookieepedia community. There are many people who contributed to it (and still will), whether it was by providing images and audio files, hunting down obscure sources, or letting me bounce ideas off them. The article will never be perfect, nor will it ever be the site’s longest Featured article, but I hope it does justice to the character himself, who I think is one of the best that Star Wars has to offer—even after the Great EU Purge, because he's a strong character in every one of his appearances. Whether you've already contributed or will do so by lending your time and effort to reviewing the article, thank you for doing your part to make it what it is. So, in honor of May the Fourth and on behalf of WP:TCW, here he is.

(0 Inqs/0 Users/0 Total)

Support

I agree. This article clarifies a lot of information from clone captain CT-7567. I have searched for information in this article many times and all my doubts have been anwered (except of course those that do not cover appearances of Captain Rex.) Unsigned comment by Generalfacu (talk • contribs). (Vote struck per policy: Less than 50 mainspace edits -- Cade Calrayn 23:02, May 13, 2014 (UTC))

Object

Lee's charge
  • A number and a name: Is there a link for the engagement you describe in the last sentence? Clone Commander Lee Talk 10:30, May 10, 2014 (UTC)
  • Battle of Teth: We have some kind of link for casevac team, however, as it currently refers only to one special case, I'll leave it up to you to decide about its inclusion.
    • Since "casevac" isn't a Star Wars–specific term, I don't see a need to link to it. Personally I also question whether the casevac team article itself is needed on the site, but that's another matter.
  • Battle of Teth: We have a problem with the remaining clone troopers of Torrent Company. I believe I talked with you about this years ago, but we don't know if CT-9932 is Coric, Del, Attie, Nax, Zeer or just another clone. Currently you say that five (including Coric) survived, but in the next paragraph you mention Coric, Nax, Zeer, CT-9932, Del and Attie as survivors—which are six. My theory is that there are five survivors, but while Rex checked them over comlink, one of the clones answered with his serial number instead of "I'm here" or something like that which is said in the novel. However, this is speculation. It's nitpicky, but a delicate situation. Thoughts? Clone Commander Lee Talk 11:01, May 11, 2014 (UTC)
    • The jump from six to five troopers (both times excluding Rex) is a discrepancy within the novel. When the troopers are about to report in, Rex states that according to the biosign icons in his HUD, "five of his men were still alive." However, when they individually report in via comlink, there are six, with only Coric and CT-9932 identifying themselves by name (so 9932 definitely isn't Coric). Then, for the rest of the sequence, it's back to five (Coric, Zeer, Nax, Attie, Del). Assuming that the six troopers checking in is an error, I think it's safe to assume that CT-9932 is either Zeer, Nax, Attie, or Del, so I'm removing any references to him, which should solve the problem. CC7567 (talk) 13:41, May 11, 2014 (UTC)
  • Shipyards of Gwori: Nitpicky, but However, the battle droids overseeing the blockade detected the multitude of life forms aboard the stolen frigate and activated the radiation beam.: Wasn't that Juhm who ordered it out of frustration of his slaves escaping?
    • It was both; changed.
  • Outpost inspections: and Rex ordered them to take off their sunbonnets to verify that they were clones: Isn't "sunbonnets" rather colloquial?Clone Commander Lee Talk 21:27, May 17, 2014 (UTC)
  • JanFathal: After Pellaeon, an old acquaintance of his, permitted him to join Leveler's testing session, Rex departed to join the cruise with Tano, Sergeant Coric: Could you vary your use of "join" here?
  • Further campaigns: the blaster cannons, Tano threw a blaster battery at the cannons with the Force, and Rex detonated the explosive by shooting the flying target, annihilating the cannons: Same here with cannons. Clone Commander Lee Talk 11:25, May 18, 2014 (UTC)
  • Quell to Maridun: Just as Bly was docking their frigate to the Resolute, a Vulture droid attack inadvertently activated the frigate's hyperdrive: Wasn't that a duo of clone pilots?
    • Bly was at the controls, accompanied by a clone co-pilot. We have articles on the two pilots before Bly replaced one of them, but since there isn't enough info to distinguish them, I've opted not to link them within the article. CC7567 (talk) 20:25, May 21, 2014 (UTC)
  • Orto Plutonia: that they were only there for his protection, not to fight his crusade against the Talz, the captain and his troops were forced into battle when more Talz appeared and ambushed them. After a Talz warrior and his narglatch forced him out of his Freeco swoop: Could you vary your use of Talz here, e.g. replace one with inhabitants? Clone Commander Lee Talk 13:29, May 21, 2014 (UTC)
    • I don't see a need to change it; three uses in two sentences aren't an extreme overuse of the word. CC7567 (talk) 20:25, May 21, 2014 (UTC)
      • I took the liberty of making a slight change here. If it annoys you, feel free to revert it. Clone Commander Lee Talk 20:30, May 21, 2014 (UTC)
  • Blue Shadow Virus: Amidala reported that she and Binks had retrieved the missing bomb from LEP-86C8 in the arboretum, Tano and Rex quickly brought the bomb squad to deactivate the bomb.: Would you be so kind the replace one bomb with "explosive e.g.? Clone Commander Lee Talk 13:52, May 30, 2014 (UTC)

Comments

  • For reference, this is the Legends version of the article. All canon material will be incorporated into that version once the tabs system is approved and implemented. CC7567 (talk) 21:48, May 4, 2014 (UTC)
  • "nor will it ever be the site’s longest Featured article" It may very well be the site's longest FA when this review finally finishes, given that Wedge is on probation and I have no interest in trying to fix that mess. :P
    Master JonathanJedi symbol.svgCouncil Chambers
    00:24 UTC MonMay 26, 2014


Battle of Serroco

  • Nominated by: IFYLOFD (Enter the Floydome) 06:51, May 16, 2014 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: When that fat old sun in the sky is falling, summer evening birds are calling.

(2 Inqs/3 Users/5 Total)

Support

  1. Clone Commander Lee Talk 19:47, May 18, 2014 (UTC)
  2. Inqvote Sir Cavalier of OneFarStar(Squadron channel) 17:18, June 17, 2014 (UTC)
  3. --Emperor Jarjarkine StupidRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit Senate Hall 17:29, June 17, 2014 (UTC)
  4. Practically perfect. WP:KOTOR for the win.—Jedi Kasra ("Indeed.") 17:32, August 8, 2014 (UTC)
  5. Inqvote Green Tentacle (Talk) 14:41, August 30, 2014 (UTC)
Floyd's a real credit to WP:KOTOR. Keep up the great work, homie.—Jedi Kasra ("Indeed.") 18:09, September 2, 2014 (UTC)
  • Uh, Kasra, I appreciate the compliments, but you already voted. :P IFYLOFD (Enter the Floydome) 01:21, September 3, 2014 (UTC)

Object

Lee's charge

Comments


Skirmish at the gundark nest

(2 Inqs/1 Users/3 Total)

Support

  1. Clone Commander Lee Talk 11:08, May 19, 2014 (UTC)
  2. Inqvote Sir Cavalier of OneFarStar(Squadron channel) 17:28, June 17, 2014 (UTC)
  3. Inqvote IFYLOFD (Enter the Floydome) 01:43, July 23, 2014 (UTC)

Object

Lee's charge
  • Once more than ten soldiers had been trained,[3] Chewbacca led the soldiers towards the gundark's nest to attack.: Can you reword the second "soldier"?
    • Sure thing.
  • I noticed some comma errors, please have a look at them. Overall, very nice work. Clone Commander Lee Talk 12:10, May 18, 2014 (UTC)
Exiled Jedi
  • "One of the first structures built by the Trade Federation was a power core" I am not sure why this is considered to be one of the first structures built. I don't remember the game explicitly stating this. It may have been constructed before other structures, but I'm not sure anything more definite can be stated. However, it has been awhile since I played the game.
    • Nope, removed the stuff about one of the first.
  • Can the fact that gundarks are non-sentient be sourced to the game? Unless the game definitively states otherwise, they could easily be semi-sentient or non-sentient from the game's depiction.
    • Properly sourced.
  • "At one of the Wookiee bases led by Chewbacca..." Is this a single base led by Chewbacca or one of many bases led by Chewbacca. Please clarify.
    • Better?
  • Are the battle droid weapons stated to be E-5 blaster rifles in the game?--Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 23:55, August 12, 2014 (UTC)

Comments


MK-09 (redux review)

  • Redux comments: Article was Reduxed per INQ Meeting 63 due to undergoing complete rewrite as part of probation
  • Date added: May 20, 2014
  • Changes since last review: diff

(0 Inqs/0 Users/0 Total)

Support

Object

Comments

Wan Sandage Jr.

(2 Inqs/1 Users/3 Total)

Support

  1. Clone Commander Lee Talk 17:05, June 8, 2014 (UTC)
  2. Inqvote Sir Cavalier of OneFarStar(Squadron channel) 14:53, July 23, 2014 (UTC)
  3. Inqvote IFYLOFD (Enter the Floydome) 02:49, August 8, 2014 (UTC)

Object

Lee's charge
  • Intro: Even though not always recognizable as his own being, sometimes being confused for his father, Sandage nonetheless went out to make a name for himself: It would be easier to read if you just say "Even though sometimes being confused for his father...".
    • How does it look now?
  • Intro: gaining popularity on a race course located on the planet of Sullust known as Serres Sarrano. He went on to gain various : Please vary this "gain" a little bit.
    • Done.
  • Question on the 24 BBY date: Is this explicitly stated as 24 BBY in the game? Or more like two years before Episode II? If the latter one is the case, you would need a reference note.
    • Added some references
      • Good, but you only need to source the date to this reference, not the whole sentence before: Like ":...he used to do this and this [Ref1]] in the year 24 BBY [Date Reference].
  • Bio: Context for Ryloth/Mon Calamari/Gamorr.
    • Added
      • Not for MonCal.
        • What's wrong with "...course on Mon Calamari, another world hosting some of the season's Podracing courses..." then? Hm, maybe planet instead of world? Bad word usage? --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 21:55, June 4, 2014 (UTC)
          • My fault, that "world" slipped past me and is perfectly fine. Sorry. Clone Commander Lee Talk 10:46, June 6, 2014 (UTC)
  • Bio: At some point, Sandage raced on a track that sped through a city. At one point,: Could you change the beginnings a little bit?
    • Fixed
  • Bio: brakes, allowing the two other pilots to ram into each other and destroy themselves, allowing Sandage : Same here.
    • Also fixed
  • Bio: Context for Holdfast and Bolt.
    • Added
  • P&T: Wan Sandage Jr. was a thrill seeker like his father, who followed the elder Sandage's footsteps and mounted up as a daring Podracer pilot.: This sounds like Sandage senior's father was a thrill seeker not senior and junior.
    • Huh, you're right. Alright, tried to reword it a bit now.
      • Could you replace the second father with something like "parent" here? Clone Commander Lee Talk 09:52, June 3, 2014 (UTC)
        • Rolls off the tongue odd, imo, so I just removed the descriptor altogether. It should still be easy to tell who the sentence is referring too. --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 15:03, June 5, 2014 (UTC)
  • P&T: You need to specify his skin color.
    • Whoops, done.
  • You need a 1st Identified tag.
  • Good work. Clone Commander Lee Talk 22:19, May 29, 2014 (UTC)
  • Is it said in the game that Sullust is in the Outer Rim? If not you have to add a specific source for that. Clone Commander Lee Talk 09:52, June 3, 2014 (UTC)
  • The "tan" in the hair color is infobox-exclusive, if I'm not mistaken. Clone Commander Lee Talk 10:46, June 6, 2014 (UTC)
Cav
Floyd
  • You have a lot of BtS info on the "Sandage" character in Lucas' original drafts sourced to the Databank which can't be sourced there. All the Databank contained on the matter was "Sandage's name dates back to the earliest drafts of Star Wars, which contained a character named Count Sandage." IFYLOFD (Enter the Floydome) 01:33, July 29, 2014 (UTC)
    • Do you think the information on the old Sandage's role is unnecessary? Or should I look for something to source it with? I'm not sure what it contains, but I was wondering if this might have the role of Sandage (Or maybe just source it too those comics that are/were adapting the rough draft).--Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 16:53, August 1, 2014 (UTC)
      • I did some more editing. How does that look? --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 16:38, August 5, 2014 (UTC)
      • Well, while the information about the old Sandage may not exactly be relevant... Well, I guess it's not relevant at all, is it? I was wondering if, with some rewording, the drafts can just be self sourced.--Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 21:43, August 5, 2014 (UTC)
        • Sorry it took me a minute to get back to you. As it stands right now, I think it's probably fine, and relevant enough, since that's the origin of the name "Wan Sandage". IFYLOFD (Enter the Floydome) 02:49, August 8, 2014 (UTC)
Exiled Jedi
  • I am confused why succumbed and senility are both linked to death. First of all, only one needs to be linked. Secondly, did he really die to senility or did he just become senile?
    • Wow, how did I miss that linking? Lol. Anyways,I swear there was a source that used the word, which is why I used it, since I figured it was important in regards to Sandage Sr.'s death. I thought it was the databank, but I guess not. I suppose it should be changed anyways. I'll just use something simple, like "old age" or something similar I guess.
      • So, does Racer Revenge say that he succumbed to senility? The BTS makes it sound like the guide identifies that his was not his father.--Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 04:05, August 15, 2014 (UTC)
        • I reworded the BtS a bit. I read senility somewhere, but I'm having troubles finding it again. It could have been the New Essential Guide to Characters. --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 15:51, August 18, 2014 (UTC)
  • Can the 22 BBY and 24 BBY dates be sourced directly to the strategy guide or does it just mention years since a specific date? If it only mentions years since The Phantom Menace or something similar, you will need to create a reference explaining the sourcing.
    • The 24 BBY dates should be fine (Also, unless I'm blind, no Guide points to 24 BBY. Only the game, which is explained in the reference). But I made some source dates, so maybe I tapped on what you were talking about. The 22 BBY references were a tad off and out of roder, especially in the third bio paragraph.
      • You still have 22 and 24 BBY dates without a special citations in at least three locations.--Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 04:05, August 15, 2014 (UTC)
  • The second sentence of the P&T feels a little point-of-view to me. Could you reword it?
    • I removed "in over his head," but the rest should be correct, in terms of calling him eager or brash, but I can get you the exact words out of the Prima guide if you want.
  • For reference 6, you need to provide a source that says when The Phantom Menace occurred.
    • Mmm, alright, though I figured that since there was another source above it with that date, I figured it wouldn't need to be repeated.
  • I asked around and I believe that the redlink in the BTS image caption is not allowed per the ban on redlinks in templates.--Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 05:36, August 13, 2014 (UTC)
    • Ah, okay. I didn't really know one way or the other. Removed, though I should probably fill that link out, too. --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 20:23, August 13, 2014 (UTC)
  • Is there anything confirming that the Wan Sandage in the Kinect game is Wan Sandage Jr? If not, there is a distinct possibility that he could be Wan Sandage the third.--Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 04:05, August 15, 2014 (UTC)
    • Is it possible that the creators didn't know about Jr? Yes. But, the RR Guide, and even the NEGtC, claim that Sandage Sr. had died, the former even explaining that Sr died before RR even took place. So I suppose it's a kind of process by elimination. Again, Jr was identified only as Wan Sandage in the game, and the guide had to add Jr, also stating that some fans couldn't tell the difference between the two Sandages (Which, while not proven, could also mean that originally it was the elder Sandage in RR, until the creators realized he was already dead, and the guide served as a retcon.) --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 15:51, August 18, 2014 (UTC)
      • What I was trying to say is that the information from Kinect should go to the BTS unless there is proof that it is Wan Sandage Jr. We know it can't be Wan Sandage Sr, but it does not necessarily have to be Wan Sandage Jr. either.--Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 17:02, August 18, 2014 (UTC)
        • I think I'm seeing what you're meaning. So, in other words, it could be a totally separate Devlikk named Wan Sandage flying the same kind of Racer? Hm, on one hand I'd almost like someone else to weigh in, yet on the other hand this makes perfect sense. I'll add the Kinect story line into the BtS in a bit then, I guess as a kind of alternate story or as a conflicting 'thing.' --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 20:07, August 18, 2014 (UTC)
          • As there is no other place to put that information, you should probably go into detail about the Kinect information in the BTS.--Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 20:21, August 18, 2014 (UTC)
            • Okay, check this out. I think I've seen stuff like this on other articles, but I don't remember if it was correct and if those were status articles anyways. I guess I'm just throwing out an idea. If not, then I'll just rewrite that paragraph OOU.--Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 23:47, August 18, 2014 (UTC)
              • Sorry, but the layour guide states that the BTS should be written in an out-of-universe style. You should probably combine all of the Kinect information into one section in the BTS.--Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 00:21, August 29, 2014 (UTC)
  • "However, the identity of this Sandage cannot be confirmed as either being the elder Sandage" You already stated that it could not be the elder Sandage; I don't think you need to say it again.
  • "As such, this article assumes that the character in Kinect Star Wars is not Wan Sandage Jr." I don't think you should state that we assume that it is not Wan Sandage Jr. That is just as much speculation as saying it is Wan Sandage Jr. It is best to just say that it is not known whether it is Wan Sandage Jr. or not.--Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 20:21, August 18, 2014 (UTC)
  • I'll look things over again after you rework the BTS.--Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 00:21, August 29, 2014 (UTC)

Comments

Darth Scabrous' HK droid

(1 Inqs/1 Users/2 Total)

Support

  1. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 09:21, July 27, 2014 (UTC)
  2. Inqvote IFYLOFD (Enter the Floydome) 03:32, September 2, 2014 (UTC)

Object

Lee's charge
  • A few preliminaries: Never bold a word like "this" for the pagename.
    • Changed it to an unless you have a better suggestion.
      • Sorry for not being clearer. But you should not bold words like an, this and so on. Instead bold Hunter-Killer assassin droid and link to it at a later occasion. Clone Commander Lee Talk 10:16, June 10, 2014 (UTC)
        • That was taken care of along with the copy-edit.
  • Something is wrong with the quote in the characteristics section.
    • Should be taken care of.
  • You start a lot of your sentences with "the HK droid" or "the HK unit". Please vary your word choice, especially when you use these terms in short order.
    • Better?
      • I also added a few more pronouns in.
  • Do we know who pictured the droid in TERC?
    • Added.
  • I suggest giving this article a good copy-edit. I see a lot of comma errors. Clone Commander Lee Talk 11:07, June 9, 2014 (UTC)
  • Odacer-Faustin's location in the Outer Rim is intro-exclusive. Clone Commander Lee Talk 13:05, June 12, 2014 (UTC)
Floyd
  • This is more a matter of personal preference, but I think the main quote sucks. Second bio quote would be waaaaaaay better. :P
    • Changed main quote and found a more fitting one for the second bio section.
  • In the intro, you describe Scabrous' droid doing a ton of stuff, but with basically zero context whatsoever. It makes for a very confusing and frustrating read.
    • Should be added now unless you see something missing.
      • I do. This: "Later that night, the droid traveled through the Sith academy's landing pad and informed the mechanic Pergus Frode to stop refueling the bounty hunters' ship." Why?
        • Added now.
  • Again, no context for the outbreak, the zombies, anything. You don't have to add a ton, but a couple sentences could go a long way.
    • Better?
  • The prose of the intro, especially towards the end, is very choppy and tough to read.
    • Should be fixed now.
  • ""STATEMENT: SIR, WE located Hestizo Trace."" Is this the way it's capitalized in the book?
    • That's the way it's shown on page 126 of my copy.
  • "Its dead boiled eyes gaped at him with what looked like accusation." OK, this is veering a bit into PBP here.
    • Removed.
  • Again, we don't need every detail of every conversation. It's a little much.
  • I'll take another look after you sort these issues out. IFYLOFD (Enter the Floydome) 02:43, August 25, 2014 (UTC)
  • Why did they decide to go rescue Trace?
    • It's only explained that it wasn't Tulkh's idea to go after her but other than that it's not really explained why they did just that they did.
  • What happened to Tulkh? You don't answer this.
    • I added some of what happened to Tulkh. Since he doesn't die till after the HK does should that still be mentioned?
  • "The droid displayed a unique speech trait, vocally prefixing every statement it made with a speech conditional that described what type the statement was. For example, if responding, it would first say "Response:" before beginning to speak." I really don't think you need the example here.
    • Removed.
  • In the BtS you call the droid "he". You don't indicate that it's male anywhere in the article, so I'm assuming this is a mistake. IFYLOFD (Enter the Floydome) 01:33, August 28, 2014 (UTC)
    • Yea when I first wrote the article I mistakenly assumed the droid had masculine programing but never found any reference in the novel. DarthRevan1173 RevanTOR001 (Long live Lord Revan) 02:05, August 28, 2014 (UTC)
  • Per the LG, "Abilities" needs to be folded into the "Characteristics" section. IFYLOFD (Enter the Floydome) 01:34, September 1, 2014 (UTC)

QGJ

  • The novel itself does not establish when it takes place. You should source all dates to other sources, like the Reader's Companion.
    • Actually it does state the year as 3645 BBY on page 3 or at least my copy does. I can change the ref if you prefer though.
      • Hmm, when I read the novel, I remember it being very vague on its timeline placement. It didn't even mention the Cold War or anything that would indicate it taking place in the TOR-era. Maybe they fixed it in the more recently published versions, or maybe my memory is very bad. I still think sourcing the dates separately would be good, but I'll leave it to your discretion. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 13:34, July 21, 2014 (UTC)
  • Since it's only two characters speaking, you don't need to use the dialogue template for the quote in Service to Scabrous. Use the quote template instead.
    • Changed.
  • Some context on the Murakami orchid is needed. Why was Scabrous after it?
    • Added.
  • The last two paragraphs of "Service to Scabrous" can be reworded to be more from HK's POV. You say that he told Scabrous this and that, but you don't establish that he discovered it first. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 10:34, July 18, 2014 (UTC)
    • Better? DarthRevan1173 RevanTOR001 (Long live Lord Revan) 23:57, July 18, 2014 (UTC)
      • Maybe I didn't make my objection clear enough, sorry. I was talking about the last paragraphs in the "Service to Scabrous" subsection only. You've made changes in "Partnership with Tulkh," however. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 13:34, July 21, 2014 (UTC)
        • Whoops well it seemed that section fit what you were talking about. Now does the last two paragraphs of "Service to Scabrous" look better. DarthRevan1173 RevanTOR001 (Long live Lord Revan) 23:44, July 21, 2014 (UTC)

Comments

Selu

  • Nominated by: JorrelWiki-shrinkableFraajic 07:54, June 9, 2014 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: You talking cute with me, sister? I'll seize your ship right now!

(0 Inqs/1 Users/1 Total)

Support

  1. Nice head quote. Clone Commander Lee Talk 11:05, June 11, 2014 (UTC)

Object

Lee's charge
  • Prelim for now: After the IPV-1 Kouerd abandoned the system: I guess this ship was paid for protection the station, can you clarify? Clone Commander Lee Talk 12:11, June 9, 2014 (UTC)
    • That's correct, and it's been noted now. JorrelWiki-shrinkableFraajic 16:11, June 9, 2014 (UTC)
  • I'm unsure about the word choice "abandoned the system". Wouldn't it be more correct to say "abandoned the station" or "left the system"?
    • Changed to "fled".
  • was discovered attempting to steal a pressure tank filled with LOX.[1] After attempting to hail: Please vary your word choice here.
    • Varied, spruced up the sentence.
  • Aeron's brothers Ace, flying the Sabra and Emon, flying his Firespray-31 craft Andrasta, were to enter the system shortly after Aeron deposited the cargo: Same here.
    • Changed.
  • BtS: Can you source that stuff about the game engines?
    • It's sourced to the game itself. Each object in the game has an entry (.shp) which details its model, stats, description, and the like. Both the Selu and the Sabra (and another YT-1300 that appears in the game, the Outlaw) share this same .shp entry, making the craft identical. That said, I'm not positive it's necessary for the article. I kind of wrote it as a late-night afterthought.
      • The stuff about it being identical is ok, but can we really say the reason for this is the game engine? I'm not very familiar with that stuff. Clone Commander Lee Talk 10:21, June 10, 2014 (UTC)
        • Not really, at least not without a lengthy (and unnecessary) footnote about the nature of the engine itself. It's also explicitly stated in the Prima guide that the Selu and Sabra are identical anyway, so it's not even necessary. Removed. JorrelWiki-shrinkableFraajic 11:24, June 10, 2014 (UTC)
  • Good work. Clone Commander Lee Talk 16:41, June 9, 2014 (UTC)
    • Appreciated, as always. JorrelWiki-shrinkableFraajic 03:17, June 10, 2014 (UTC)
Green Tentacle
  • Description: "Communications equipment was installed in the ship which allowed the Selu's pilot to publicly address intruders and space installations." Intruders aboard the ship?
    • Reworded and clarified.
  • Description: "The freighter could also support the installation of fake transponder codes." It's covered later in the article, but it should probably say what transponder codes are for here. Green Tentacle (Talk) 10:33, August 31, 2014 (UTC)
    • Added a bit to what those fake codes were used for. JorrelWiki-shrinkableFraajic 16:42, August 31, 2014 (UTC)

Comments

Attichitcuk

(0 Inqs/1 Users/1 Total)

Support

  1. Perfect! Clone Commander Lee Talk 11:07, June 11, 2014 (UTC)

Object

Lee's charge
  • Infobox: His place of birth needs to be mentioned after the year of his birth.
    • I added "Kashyyyk," for Rwookrrorro isn't certain. It is his family's place of origin, but he may have been born elsewhere. --</noinclude>Lelal Mekha Old Republic military symbol (Audience Room) 11:51, June 10, 2014 (UTC)
  • Early life: I believe his father and the guy his father killed + this guys clan are important enough to have their own articles. If not even CAs. ;)
    • The father does have an article, and I'm willing to create those other articles you mention. However, I really don't know what title I can give them. The Wookiee that was killed has no name, and neither does his clan. I think that "Unidentified Wookiee (Attichitcuk's father's victim)" would be a bit unwieldy... (BTW, I discovered a new bit of information about Itchy's lineage in the new 2014 Fact Files, and I just added it.) --</noinclude>Lelal Mekha Old Republic military symbol (Audience Room) 11:51, June 10, 2014 (UTC)
      • Indeed. But as they sound important enough for an article, maybe you should just use these names. We have worse. :P Clone Commander Lee Talk 12:03, June 10, 2014 (UTC)
        • There we are, but you have to know that I feel bad for creating those two ugly things. :-p --</noinclude>Lelal Mekha Old Republic military symbol (Audience Room) 12:28, June 10, 2014 (UTC)
  • Early life: Same for his wife.
    • I actually erased any mention of his wife. Although she must have existed, the sources do not mention her at all. --</noinclude>Lelal Mekha Old Republic military symbol (Audience Room) 11:51, June 10, 2014 (UTC)
      • Good choice, as it is possible that their were different ones. Clone Commander Lee Talk 12:03, June 10, 2014 (UTC)
  • The Clone Wars: A bit of context for Windu in the quote please.
  • The Clone Wars: The 19 BBY date can not be directly sourced to Republic Commando. If you want to use it, you would have to place a reference like in this article.
  • The Galactic Civil War: Could you pipelink Sith Lord to "true colors"?
  • The Galactic Civil War: Did Solo really kill Nyklas? The latter ones article says he was only stunned.
  • The Galactic Civil War: Can The Wookiee Storybook support the 0 BBY date?
  • Recovering the Vor'Na'Tu: Same here for GB and the 0.5 date.
  • Recovering the Vor'Na'Tu: A little bit context for Energy Pummels is needed.
  • That's it for so far. Very interesting article and one of the most enjoyable writing style I've ever seen. Great work. Clone Commander Lee Talk 10:47, June 10, 2014 (UTC)
  • New governments and slaving rings: Is there a link for the Wookiee slaving ring?
  • Burying his son: Can Vector Prime supply the date? Same for the other two. Clone Commander Lee Talk 13:55, June 10, 2014 (UTC)
    • The 25 and 29 ABY dates are now sourced. The "six months after the Battle of Sernpidal" information comes from the book itself. --</noinclude>Lelal Mekha Old Republic military symbol (Audience Room) 14:12, June 10, 2014 (UTC)
Code-8

Comments

Pix

  • Nominated by: Clone Commander Lee Talk 11:24, June 11, 2014 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: Well, before other stuff will take my time in the next few weeks, I thought I leave you with something to do. :P And yes, this is a FA nom from me, they're very few and the last one was two years ago. It is time.

(0 Inqs/2 Users/2 Total)

Support

  1. praguepride (Talk) 15:25, June 12, 2014 (UTC)
  2. Commander Code-8 Felicitations malefactors! 07:58, June 13, 2014 (UTC)

Object

Code-8
praguepride
  • Shouldn't the infobox image have the words blanked out as per other comic book scans? --praguepride (Talk) 13:39, June 12, 2014 (UTC)
    • In this case, no, as the bubble is immediately connected to another bubble. There it does not need removing. Clone Commander Lee Talk 13:56, June 12, 2014 (UTC)
From the Book of Jangeth
  • You cannot clearly identify Pix nor Cal in the bio's first image because of its large resolution. Please find a way to make them more noticeable. You can always accurately mention their positions in the file's caption as well.
  • Does Jedi: Yoda really mention "She was accepted into the Jedi Order and chosen as a Padawan learner by the Weequay Jedi Master Tyr" or is it extrapolate information?
    • Depends, Sir. For me yes, since she is a Jedi and apprenticed by Tyr in the comic. However, I rephrased it, tell me what you think.
  • The next sentence pertaining to 22 BBY is fluff, Lee.
    • Killed the stuff about the Jedi, but left the basic info there.
      • You don't need that random piece of information in this article. All you should say is "During the second year of the Clone Wars" or something to that extent. JangFett (Talk) 00:29, July 4, 2014 (UTC)
  • "Pix and her master were part of the group, which was to make a show of force, but not engage in any hostile actions." The "which was to make a show of force" reads awkwardly, especially given the context of the sentence. Unlike the intro, could you reword it here?
    • Reworded both sentences.
      • You didn't do anything. JangFett (Talk) 00:29, July 4, 2014 (UTC)
        • Sir, no sir: It reads: the Republic responded by dispatching a task force to Thustra, where it should make a show of force, but not engage in any hostile actions. Pix and her master were part of the group, together with Jedi Master Tyffix, his Padawan Cal and Clone Commanders[1] TK-571[4] and CR57.[1] .
  • "After mourning their fallen teachers with Cal, who had just arrived at the tent, Pix" "With Cal" implies that Cal isn't mourning his fallen teacher. By saying "their fallen teachers with Cal" it sounds like Cal just joined them (Pix is only identified later) to mourn. Try to find a way to mention Pix and Cal.
    • Better?
  • More to come. JangFett (Talk) 02:26, July 1, 2014 (UTC)
    • Eagerly awaiting them, sir. Thanks for your time, I know it is "numbered". Clone Commander Lee Talk 10:26, July 1, 2014 (UTC)
  • You mentioned Clutch in an earlier paragraph but waited later to introduce his nickname. Please mention his nickname earlier.
    • The reason was that the other clone, CR57, had no nickname. But fair enough.
  • "Tyr Force pushed his Padawan out of the command tent, which shortly after exploded when a Sephi suicide bomber blew it up." Check your grammar here.
  • I'm assuming he died in the explosion, correct? If so, then please make it clear that Tyr died in the explosion.
    • Added.
  • Who is Pix contacting on Coruscant?
    • Not said, sir. Have a look at the quote. The communication is eventually viewed by Palps and Co., but we can not say that she immediately tried to contact these.
  • I tried to tweak your grammar here: "The message was received by". However, as I read your sentence, I wasn't sure if Oppo suggested to send Yoda to the planet. I changed it to "The group" in the following sentence, so check to see if it's correct.
    • All good, thanks.
  • As I was copy-editing the "went to greet the new Jedi Master" sentence, I ran into an issue: You didn't make it clear that neither Pix nor Cal knew that Yoda was coming. Instead, you waited until the last second. Lee, this isn't some novel you're writing here, it's an encyclopedia article. :P You're going to have to mention things before they happen here. It's better for the reader and it'll make the read less confusing.
    • Yeah, that's why I refrain from writing FAs. Done.
  • "Yoda reminded the two Padawans that they should have waited with their call for reinforcements and instead conferred with him, as there where other paths to victory then the military one." I don't know what you're trying to say here.
    • Better?
  • I'll continue my review later. JangFett (Talk) 00:29, July 4, 2014 (UTC)

Comments

  • Dedicated to Bosnia who made it first time and all those others who did not make it despite being close to it (Venezuela, Iceland, Uzbekistan, Panama, Burkina Faso, Cape Verde). Clone Commander Lee Talk 11:24, June 11, 2014 (UTC)

Emperor's advices


Harovan Toth

(0 Inqs/1 Users/1 Total)

Support

  1. 501st dogma(talk) 17:41, June 24, 2014 (UTC)

Object

501st
  • Uh, infiltrator is a type of starfighter according to the link. You sure he's a Human male starfighter? :P
    • Oops, fixed.
  • Context for Fendry and Bresnan? Just clarifying that they are planets will do fine.
    • Done.
  • Context for Yavin 4 and possibly the first Death Star if you feel like it?
    • Done.
  • Apparently New Kisge is a moon, not a planet, so you can't refer to it as a jungle planet in the body. 501st dogma(talk) 00:31, June 24, 2014 (UTC)
Exiled Jedi

Comments

Theol Drost

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Support

Object

Exiled Jedi
  • I am not seeing anything in the body of the article that says he was active during the Rise of the Empire era. I assume the Raid on Picturion takes place then, but nothing confirms this in the article.
    • I'm currently trying to hash out the proper dating for Picutorion. New info from the Author's Cut throws out some work I did on the dating of the battle. No firm dates were set out for it before now, which is why they were not added originally.
  • Just checking, but can the 9 ABY date be sourced directly to The Last Command?--Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 15:15, August 9, 2014 (UTC)
    • Probably not. I've reffed to the ERC to be safe.
  • Are there any major differences in his appearance between the sourcebook description and his depiction in the comic book? I can't really tell from the headshot used in the infobox. If there are major differences, you should probably note them in the BTS.--Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 16:00, August 9, 2014 (UTC)
    • Its hard to tell. Maybe the body mass is different, but there's only a headshot and a picture of him walking away. - Sir Cavalier of OneFarStar(Squadron channel) 16:38, August 26, 2014 (UTC)

Comments

Ace Azzameen (redux review)

  • Redux comments: Article was Reduxed per INQ 64. (Sizable update/expansion)
  • Date added: June 30, 2014
  • Changes since last review: A lot. Check it yourself. Edits concerning update here.

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Support

Object

Comments

  • Added a link to the differences between revisions as well as one to the specifics of the update. JorrelWiki-shrinkableFraajic 02:49, July 1, 2014 (UTC)

Barsen'thor (Galactic War)

  • Nominated by: QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 07:41, July 3, 2014 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: Only took me a year and a half to finish this. I've tried to make sure that this reaches the nomination page as smooth as possible, and I believe I have achieved the goal.

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Object

Exiled Jedi
  • While often used informally, "they" and "their" are not proper singular pronouns in formal writing. Please go through the article and change all instances of this.--Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 23:36, August 31, 2014 (UTC)

Comments

  • Copycat! :P But anyways, great work. In the past few weeks, we've filled almost 300 redlinks, leaving us only 3200 left for TOR. I'll be sure to review this soon. Cade StupidRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit Calrayn 14:28, July 3, 2014 (UTC)
    • Oh, actually, there's another cut thing from the files—during Corellia, the First Son originally was supposed to send a fleet to attack Sarkhai, causing Nadia to depart temporarily as your companion to go and help her homeworld. It's not entirely clear, but it looks like your actions (i.e. alignment choices) would affected whether Sarkhai won easily or only barely succeeded. Cade StupidRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit Calrayn 14:31, July 3, 2014 (UTC)
  • May I ask why you use "They" or "their" when referring to the Barsen'thor? Winterz (talk) 00:03, August 23, 2014 (UTC)
    • Because we don't know the Barsen'thor's gender, singular they is used to refer to the character in a gender-neutral manner. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 07:19, August 23, 2014 (UTC)


Thurse

  • Nominated by: 501st dogma(talk) 15:09, July 4, 2014 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: I'm getting better, I really am. Only 28 words over this time...

(0 Inqs/1 Users/1 Total)

Support

  1. Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 22:56, September 2, 2014 (UTC)

Object

Exiled Jedi
  • Shouldn't the part about it being a cruiser-carrier be covered in a "Role" section?
    • Um, what do you mean by a Role section? A separate one like the Description? If that's what your suggesting, I think it'd be rather small: "Thurse served as a cruiser carrier..." I can add it if you want though.
  • Should Thurse be unitalicized in the history quote?
    • My bad, fixed.
  • Is the double citation really necessary in the history section for the 25 ABY date?
    • Well, 2 is required to state that the ship was in existence at that time, while 3 is needed for the exact date.
  • Please break up the first sentence of the second paragraph in the history section.
    • Better?
  • I wish there was some way to get rid of that space at the start of the intro quote, but I do see why it is there.--Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 16:10, August 9, 2014 (UTC)
    • Yep, its ugly, but it's better than the whole quote getting bolded. :P Thanks for the review. 501st dogma(talk) 16:25, August 9, 2014 (UTC)
  • Is there any information on how the troops got on board the liner?
    • Nope. A dozen troopers burn through a door while Han and the others are on the liner, and since the Thurse is the only New Republic ship in the area, I'm assuming they came from there. As to how they got there, the book doesn't say.
  • I find the last paragraph of the history section rather confusing. Could you make it clearer what is happening?--Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 20:19, August 12, 2014 (UTC)
    • That better? It's hard to make Solo's antics understandable without a boatload of unnecessary context... 501st dogma(talk) 23:45, August 16, 2014 (UTC)

Comments

Tiplee/Canon

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Support

  1. Clone Commander Lee Talk 22:29, August 13, 2014 (UTC)

Object

Lee's charge
  • Prelim: Merge "Early life" and "Ringo Vinda". A three sentence paragraph is too small.
  • Plus: You have to mention her eye color in the P&T. Clone Commander Lee Talk 10:05, July 20, 2014 (UTC)
    • Done and done. The first one seems unnecessary, but I've nonetheless made the change. - Brandon Rhea(talk) 20:42, July 20, 2014 (UTC)
  • The head quote should use the "quote" and not the "dialogue" format, as there are only two speakers.
  • Intro: Context for Maul, Kenobi and Dooku. Also "death" and the "bio-chip" need to be linked.
    • Did everything other than linking to bio-chip. I don't think that warrants a page. The only canonical bio-chip that I'm aware of is for Clone Protocol 66, and that's covered in the canon Order 66 page that the intro already links to. - Brandon Rhea(talk) 14:38, July 21, 2014 (UTC)
  • Infobox: Is there a link for "color"?
  • I'll continue later. Clone Commander Lee Talk 09:57, July 21, 2014 (UTC)
  • It would be easier to understand the whole stuff about Tup killing her sister if you briefly mentioned what O66 is.
  • In the final paragraph of "Ringo Vinda" you use "killed/killer" quite often. Please try to vary your word choice a little bit here.
  • A little bit more context for Grievous and Dooku (they are CIS key figures) and Maul (rogue Sith Lord) please. Same for Ord Mantell (and earlier Ringo Vinda, but that is nitpicky).
  • P&A: Mention her lightsaber (color) and her ability to use it against Tup. I don't recall much about the comic, but if she shows other force powers/skills with a lightsaber there, please mention them too.
  • BtS: "Portrayed" is a little bit misleading. Could you replace it with "voiced"?
  • BtS: Mention who wrote and drew Tiplar in the comic.
  • Entertaining article, good job. Clone Commander Lee Talk 10:22, August 4, 2014 (UTC)
    • Done most of these (need to check back on Son of Dathomir #3 for a few of them before they're all done). That being said, you said "Mention who wrote and drew Tiplar in the comic." Is that necessary? You didn't mention to say who wrote The Unknown, for example. - Brandon Rhea(talk) 16:53, August 6, 2014 (UTC)
      • Everything is done, except for the last objection which the above reply is about. - Brandon Rhea(talk) 05:22, August 9, 2014 (UTC)
        • Well, AFAIK it is common practice to state these info when the article subject appears in a comic. As it is the only source except the episode and it also decipts her death, I find it quite notable. Clone Commander Lee Talk 09:42, August 9, 2014 (UTC)
  • P&A: who killed her in lightsaber and Force combat: Should this be killer her with his lightsaber and force combat? Currently it sounds like he killed the poor gal twice. Clone Commander Lee Talk 10:34, August 9, 2014 (UTC)

Comments

This page is only 10-15 words over the minimum word count for a Featured Article. If it drops below 1,000 words as a result of the review, it can be changed to a Good Article nomination. - Brandon Rhea(talk) 06:44, July 17, 2014 (UTC)


Travi Pott

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Object

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Jaden Korr

  • Nominated by: QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 10:28, August 15, 2014 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: So, to sum things up. He's a dude chasing a clone of himself, who gets killed by another clone of himself. He then gets his memories transferred into that clone's body, so he becomes a clone of himself. Oh, and he might have been a clone to begin with. And he also finds out about a potential clone of Xizor. Enjoy the cloneception.

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Object

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Soldier (clone)

  • Nominated by: QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 15:42, August 20, 2014 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: The second of the three Jaden Korrs (Jadens Korr? Jadens Korrs?) running around in Riptide.

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Object

Comments

  • Like I mentioned in a response to an objection on my GAnom of Wry, I don't think these clones warrant a nickname template, since they essentially considered those to be their real names. If you have an argument to the contrary, I'm willing to listen. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 15:42, August 20, 2014 (UTC)


Iteration (Jaden Korr)

  • Nominated by: QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 10:44, August 21, 2014 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: Project Jaden Korr, Part 3/3.

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Object

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