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The featured articles of the wiki are articles that represent the best Wookieepedia has to offer. This is not a way to showcase the articles of your favorite characters, spaceships, or the like.

So just what makes a featured article? Well, we've prepared a list just in case someone should ask that, and it is as follows.


An article must…

  1. …be well-written and comprehensively detailed.
  2. …be unbiased, non-point of view.
  3. …have comprehensive Appearances and Sources lists.
  4. …be fully referenced, including all quotes and images. See Wookieepedia:Sourcing for more information.
  5. …follow the Manual of Style, Layout Guide, and all other policies on Wookieepedia.
  6. …following the review process, be stable, i.e. it does not change significantly from day to day and is not the subject of ongoing edit wars. This does not apply to vandalism and protection or semi-protection as a result of vandalism.
  7. …not be tagged with any sort of improvement tags (i.e. more sources, expand, etc).
  8. …have a proper lead that gives a good summary of the topic and can be used for the Main Page's "Article Showcase."
  9. …have no redlinks.
  10. …provide at least one quote on the article. A leading quote at the beginning of the article will be required only if there is quotable dialogue by or about the subject. Although quotes may be placed in the body of the article, a maximum of one quote is allowed at the beginning of each section.
  11. …include a "Personality and traits" section on all character articles.
  12. …ideally include a "Powers and abilities" section for Force-sensitive characters and a "Skills and abilities" section for non–Force-sensitive characters, where said powers and/or abilities are stipulated.
  13. …include a "Behind the scenes" section for in-universe articles.
  14. …include a reasonable number of images of the highest quality to illustrate the article, as source availability permits.
  15. …counting the introduction and "Behind the scenes" material, be at least 1000 words long (not including captions, quotes, or headers, etc).
  16. …be properly titled in accordance with Wookieepedia's treatment of Canon and Legends articles; i.e., no nomination may have "/Canon" in the title.

For more information on what makes a featured article, see What is a featured article?


How to nominate:

  1. First, find an article you feel is worthy of featured status, putting it at the bottom of the list below; see criteria above. Note that a previously featured article cannot be featured on the Main Page again; however, it can be restored to featured status.
  2. Add {{FAnom}} at the top of the article you are nominating and save the page. NOTE: If the article you are nominating has been nominated for FA one or more times previously, you will need to specify a new subpage name as a parameter in the template (e.g. {{FAnom|Lorum ipsum (second nomination)}}).
  3. Open the redlink (in a new tab or window, if possible) and fill out the form according to the instructions provided.
  4. Copy the code provided to the bottom of this page.
  5. Purge the article to update the template.
  6. Others will object to the nomination if they disagree that the article is good enough; they will then supply reasons for doing so, and ways to improve the article (errors, style, organization, images, notability, sources).
  7. Supporters adjust the article until the objectors (with reasonable objections) are satisfied.
  8. The article is placed on the featured article list and added to the front page queue.
  9. Be sure to place your signature in the "Nominated by" line when the nomination is posted for voting.

How to vote:

  1. Before doing anything, be sure to read the article completely, keeping a sharp eye out for mistakes.
  2. Afterward, compare the article to the criteria listed above, and then either support or object the article's nomination.
  3. Please note that in order for your vote to count, you must have 50 mainspace edits.
  4. If you object, please supply concrete reasons for doing so, and how it can be improved. Please cite which rule your objection falls under, if possible. Failure to do so may result in your objection being considered invalid.
  5. As stated above, any objections will be looked upon by the nominator, supporters, and anyone willing to improve the article, and action will be taken to please the objectors. Do not strike other users' objections; it is up to the objector to review the changes and strike if they are satisfied.
  6. Once the minimum nomination period has passed, an article that has achieved the required number of supporting votes and has no outstanding objections will be added to the queue and be officially known as a "featured article." A nomination will be considered successful if one of the following criteria is met:
    • five supporting Inquisitor votes and no outstanding objections after at least a week;
    • four supporting Inquisitor votes, plus two additional supporting votes and no outstanding objections after at least a week;
    • three supporting Inquisitor votes, plus four additional supporting votes and no outstanding objections after at least a week; or
    • seven supporting Inquisitor votes and no outstanding objections after at least two days.
  7. Per Inquisitorius consensus, no Inquisitor may use their Inqvote on their own nominations.

Also remember to add {{FAnom}} at the top of the article you are nominating.

Every day the next article in the queue will be highlighted on the Main Page as featured, marked with the {{FA}} template and removed from the list of nominations. The beginning of the article then appears on the Main Page via the {{Featured article}} template. Nominations that are inactive with outstanding objections for two weeks will be eliminated from the nominations list by the Inquisitorius.

All nominations will be considered idle and are subject to removal by Inquisitorius vote if objections are not addressed after a period of 2 weeks.

Note: All reduxed articles require only four support votes to maintain their Featured status, at least two of which must come from Inquisitors. Reduxed articles will be subject to removal if objections are not addressed after a period of 4 weeks, pending the support of at least three Inquisitors.


Featured article nominations

View recent changes for this page and its subpages

Voorpee

  • Nominated by: ProfessorTofty (talk) 02:53, July 20, 2015 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: Good article nomination that, quite simply, got too long. Well, in any case, before the nomination was closed, I had gotten support from one AgriCorp member and three regular users and didn't have any outstanding objections. Still, I'd be happy to address any other concerns that may be brought up. The original nomination can be found here. ProfessorTofty (talk) 02:53, July 20, 2015 (UTC)

(3 Inqs/4 Users/7 Total)

(Votes required: None. Required vote total reached, but current outstanding objections.)

Support

  1. It's nice to see a less serious article every so often. Ayrehead02 (talk) 08:19, August 7, 2015 (UTC)
  2. Inqvote IFYLOFD (Talk) 23:35, July 31, 2016 (UTC)
  3. Inqvote Supreme Emperor (talk) 02:44, August 1, 2016 (UTC)
  4. Inqvote This... this is a thing. -- Darth Culator (Talk) 23:25, August 6, 2016 (UTC)
  5. Cevan IMPpress (talk) 17:31, October 30, 2016 (UTC)
  6. The Brave Goldfish (talk) 11:45, November 7, 2016 (EET)
  7. Great stuff! --Lewisr (talk) 01:10, January 25, 2017 (UTC)

Object

Ayrehead
  • The intro should be updated to include information about the cloning and talent show. Ayrehead02 (talk) 07:22, July 21, 2015 (UTC)
  • I would reword the bts concerning Brown saying pets would appear in the third book as it is currently a bit confusing to read and not entirely clear that the Phantom Bully is the third book unless you follow the link. Ayrehead02 (talk) 07:22, July 21, 2015 (UTC)
  • Is it clear if the original Voorpee is the one that is kept, or could he be amongst the ones returned to the zoo or the rescue organization? If it isn't clar you should at least mention this in the behind the scenes and maybe even in the body. Ayrehead02 (talk) 07:22, July 21, 2015 (UTC)
    • Well, I tried something like that, but if you look back at Manoof's objections on the original Good article nomination, I ended up getting rid of it because if nothing is stated either way, then the custom is to not say anything at all. And the book really doesn't. After the whole mess happens, Voorpee himself isn't mentioned again at all. It's entirely unclear whether they ever even found the original Voorpee. ProfessorTofty (talk) 19:37, July 22, 2015 (UTC)
Floyd
  • Can we get a timeframe in the intro?
  • "In the second semester, Novachez, who had been struggling with his friendships," What do you mean by this? Was he struggling to make friends or having issues with the friends he had?
    • Reworded to make it clear that he was having issues with the friends he already had. ProfessorTofty (talk) 23:21, July 29, 2016 (UTC)
  • No quote for the P&T? I know he doesn't speak himself, but I'm sure there are lines said about him. IFYLOFD (Talk) 01:08, July 29, 2016 (UTC)
    • Good idea. Quotation for the P&T section has been added. ProfessorTofty (talk) 23:21, July 29, 2016 (UTC)
Exiled Jedi
  • The biography section needs to be subsectioned. Ideally, each section should have its own quote, provided there are enough quotes about Voorpee. I would think you could easily get at least three sections from what is there now.
    • Well, it was originally back when had nominated it for good article, but it was said that I didn't need them because the article wasn't long enough to merit it. I'll go ahead and get that taken care of. ProfessorTofty (talk) 22:40, February 11, 2017 (UTC)
  • If there are interviews with the author, it seems to me that you could add a quote to the BTS about Voorpee from one of them.
    • The interview in question is one that I did. Voorpee is only mentioned in one question and with the way that the question was answered, I don't think adding a quote is really going to enhance the article in any way. ProfessorTofty (talk) 22:40, February 11, 2017 (UTC)
  • If "This article is non-canon within the Star Wars Legends continuity.", then please mention this in the BTS and provide a source for it. If it is one of the books that state this, then just source it to the book in question. Without a source, it just looks like an assumption.
    • Added this to the behind-the-scenes and linked it to the previously mentioned interview, which references the fact that the story is not canon. ProfessorTofty (talk) 02:20, February 12, 2017 (UTC)
  • You should try to limit the amount of times that you include a word in the main section in quotes. It doesn't seem necessary some of the times you are doing it. I think it would be easy to reword some of these sections to prevent the need for the quotes.
    • I can only find five instances of this and, I'm sorry, but in each case, it seems fitting. To explain further though, the character claim they are taking him for "walks," but said "walks" are actually an excuse to torture him. Another is "new pet," which again, I think makes more sense in quotation marks. Finally, I believe "commands such as 'jump' or 'roll over'" would be standard usage. ProfessorTofty (talk) 22:40, February 11, 2017 (UTC)
  • You have quite a few missing links in the article. Normally I would fix them myself, but there are a lot for an article this close to passing. For instance you are missing links to Torture, Week, Zoo, etc. You also have things that are linked in the introduction and not in the body. Everything needs to be linked once in the infobox, once in the introduction, and once in the body.
    • Everything done (and I think maybe one or two other things), except for "zoo." This is only ever referenced as "Naboo Zoo" throughout the article. Should I just link the "Zoo" at one point? I thought about adding something stating something like "a zoo based on the planet Naboo," but this almost seems like adding information that should be completely obvious simply for the point of getting a reference to "zoo" in there. Still need to do the sections - will take care of that later this evening or early tomorrow. ProfessorTofty (talk) 02:20, February 12, 2017 (UTC)
      • Never mind on that last bit - I found a way to work in links for zoo that feel reasonably natural. ProfessorTofty (talk) 01:08, February 14, 2017 (UTC)
  • I realize that this nomination had enough votes to pass, but I believe that these deficiencies need to be addressed before it can be considered a featured article.--Exiled Jedi (talk) 00:01, February 9, 2017 (UTC)
    • Sure, I don't mind doing that. I'm all about making sure we have it as good a quality as possible. I just hope it can be handled with good speed since I did already have enough votes to pass. Anyway, gotta go right now, but I will take care of / reply to the rest before the end of the evening. ProfessorTofty (talk) 22:40, February 11, 2017 (UTC)
  • "Students at the academy were encouraged to care for Voorpee at the academy's care center, feeding him a preferred diet of live insects and keeping his soft fur clean." I'm seeing some of this information in the body, but some of it seems to be exclusive to the introduction.
    • Added an item regarding the care center and keeping his fur clean in the "Academy arrival" section. ProfessorTofty (talk) 21:38, May 26, 2017 (UTC)
  • "arriving from the zoo with the other students at the beginning of the school year." This makes it sound like the students and Voorpee all went from the zoo to the academy at the start of the school year. Is this the case? If not, please reword this.
    • Ambiguous syntax, I suppose. I reworded it to just say that he arrived "at the Jedi academy" rather than "from the zoo," which is unnecessary since it already says he was on loan from the zoo. ProfessorTofty (talk) 21:38, May 26, 2017 (UTC)
  • I believe you should keep the date consistent between reference 2 and the body of the article. In the reference, you have 196 BBY, while you link to 200 BBY in the body and introduction. You should probably just pipelink to 196 BBY in the body and introduction.
    • Hmm. Not sure what happened here, other than just trying to go with a nice round number Changed it to 196. ProfessorTofty (talk) 21:38, May 26, 2017 (UTC)
  • If there are other quotes related to Voorpee from the novels, please provide those for the subsections in the biography section.
  • Does The Essential Atlas say that voorpaks are small, fuzzy creatures? That is what reference 3 seems to be saying in the biography right now.
    • No, you're right, that's only to source the fact that Naboo is Mid Rim. I changed that to reference from Return of the Padawan. ProfessorTofty (talk) 21:38, May 26, 2017 (UTC)
      • You are still sourcing the fact that they are native to Naboo to the Atlas.--Exiled Jedi (talk) 22:29, July 11, 2017 (UTC)
        • How I am doing that? I now have the Essential Atlas reference directly after "Mid-Rim" and then have "planet Naboo" and following that, the reference to The Official Star Wars Fact File 106. Sorry, I'm just not sure what I'm missing here. ProfessorTofty (talk) 05:07, July 17, 2017 (UTC)
          • Right now you have "native to the Mid Rim" sourced to just The Essential Atlas. "Native" cannot be sourced to that.--Exiled Jedi (talk) 02:35, August 24, 2017 (UTC)
  • The third and final paragraphs of the biography would benefit from being reordered to present the events in a more chronological order. If would make sense to display the information in the current way if the article was about Novachez or someone else who found the information out in the presented order, but since this is outlining the events of Voorpee's life, a chronological ordering makes more sense. Just because a novel present the information in one order, does not mean that the article needs to as well.
    • Are you referring to the paragraphs "Return to school" and "Cloned chaos"? Because, if so, I'm not sure what you mean. Everything is in order both in terms of how it's presented in the novel and in terms of the actual chronology except for the very last sentence about how "It was later revealed that Cronah and Ronald Rinzler, a fellow student who styled himself as a politician, were responsible for the pranks, part of their continued effort to humiliate Novachez." Do you want me to move just the information in that sentence? Or is there something else I can do to make the timeline more clear? ProfessorTofty (talk) 21:38, May 26, 2017 (UTC)
      • What I am asking is for you to present the information in the order that it happens to Voorpee, not the order that it is mentioned in the book. You mention that Voorpee went missing and then reveal how that happened. You also mention the clones after you mention instances where the clones appeared. Writing it this way feels like a condensed version of the novel and not an article about the subject, which is what you should be aiming for.--Exiled Jedi (talk) 22:29, July 11, 2017 (UTC)
        • Ah, I got it now. Okay, how's that? ProfessorTofty (talk) 05:07, July 17, 2017 (UTC)
          • That is better. The second paragraph of Victim of bullying should be reordered in a similar fashion.--Exiled Jedi (talk) 02:35, August 24, 2017 (UTC)
            • Done. Only seemed to require a slight rewording, but let me know if you still feel anything's wrong. Otherwise, should be good to go. ProfessorTofty (talk) 02:07, August 28, 2017 (UTC)
  • You should not use contractions in a Wookieepedia article outside of quotes.--Exiled Jedi (talk) 23:37, May 22, 2017 (UTC)
    • If this is true, I'd like to see a guideline in the Manual of Style or wherever saying such. I don't personally agree with this and I feel writing without contractions simply for no other reason than writing without contractions sounds forced and unnatural. ProfessorTofty (talk) 21:38, May 26, 2017 (UTC)
      • This is actually a valid point, and until it is addressed I will have to withdraw my support as well. At the very beginning of our manual of style there is a reference that states "For information on the most basic writing techniques and styles, which are used here, see Wikipedia's Manual of Style." Encyclopedic writing is expected to follow basic rules of formal writing, and even putting aside rules imported from Wikipedia, avoiding contractions in encyclopedic/professional writing is a fundamental rule of style shared by APA, AP, IEEE, and other professional style guides. Contractions are only for informal/non-academic use. -- Darth Culator (Talk) 15:19, June 4, 2017 (UTC)
        • You didn't have to withdraw your support. I would have been happy to just corrected it. The only reason I did not do so immediately was because I did not believe it to be a rule. I did know that it was a rule on Wikipedia, but as we all know, Wookieedpedia is not Wikipedia. Nevertheless, it does appear based on what you're saying that Wikipedia's manual is considered to be the bedrock unless specifically contradicted, so I made the correction. I still retain my original opinion, but the rule trumps that. Anyway, I corrected it, though I feel the need to point out that there was only a single contraction of my own doing in the article to begin with. ProfessorTofty (talk) 21:59, June 4, 2017 (UTC)
          • Thank you very much for being reasonable about this. And I mean that in a totally honest and non-sarcastic way that probably doesn't come across well in plaintext, especially given my reputation. ☺️ Disputes like this have historically tended to become entrenched, so I removed my support vote preemptively and that was probably premature. And WP:NOT is why I provided other references for standards of academic writing. I have unstruck my vote and look forward to this article's promotion. -- Darth Culator (Talk) 22:14, June 4, 2017 (UTC)
  • "It was not until towards the end of the school year that Cronah and Rinzler were the ones responsible for the prank." I think something is missing in this sentence.
    • Yeah, "were discovered to be the ones responsible." Fixed. ProfessorTofty (talk) 02:07, August 28, 2017 (UTC)
  • The image quality for the images used in this article is pretty low. Were some of these images taken with a phone? In any event, the images should be replaced with higher quality scans.--Exiled Jedi (talk) 02:35, August 24, 2017 (UTC)
    • No, not with a phone, but perhaps not the greatest quality scanner. I've replaced three of them with images taken directly from the eBook version. I think the other two are okay, but if you feel otherwise, let me know, and I'll replace those as well. (The other two are the main image and the one showing all the clones, which I think is already from the eBook version.) ProfessorTofty (talk) 02:07, August 28, 2017 (UTC)
      • If I may interject here, to respond to Tofty's latest comment, it is now site policy that images added to articles be "as high quality as possible, as source availability and technical restraints permit." If you have reasonable access to digital eBook versions of this stuff, there's no excuse for any of the images in this article to be anything but. In other words, you need to be uploading digital versions of all of these images. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 05:34, August 30, 2017 (UTC)
        • And on that note, all images in this article now originate from the eBook versions. ProfessorTofty (talk) 14:25, August 30, 2017 (UTC)
  • "...trained here under Jedi Master Yoda and various other Jedi, including Mr. Garfield and Principal Mar." The last part of this sentence contains detail that does not seem to be important to the article subject. It would probably be better to just note that Yoda and various other Jedi trained the Padawans, rather than mention two of those Jedi.
  • If the class pet program was started by Gaiana, it seems to me that should be mentioned earlier in the article. This fits in more with the part about the Naboo Zoo loaning Voorpee to the academy.
    • How much earlier would you have me mention it? It's already in the first paragraph, right after I mention Gaiana and the school newspaper. Or do you think it should go in the intro? ProfessorTofty (talk) 21:13, September 9, 2017 (UTC)
      • I would mention the information about Gaiana with the information about him being temporarily on loan to the Jedi Academy. Since she started it due to her seeing voorpaks on Naboo, I believe all of the information should be mentioned together.--Exiled Jedi (talk) 01:19, September 30, 2017 (UTC)
        • This objection is still open.--Exiled Jedi (talk) 18:27, October 22, 2017 (UTC)
          • Oops. Alright, added information about the class pet program earlier in the paragraph. How's that now? ProfessorTofty (talk) 19:34, October 25, 2017 (UTC)
  • "...but per his own journal, he was not the culprit." Since you have already established in the article that he did not kidnap Voorpee, I don't think this adds anything.
    • Good point, that's a relic of when the order of events was listed differently. Removed. ProfessorTofty (talk) 21:13, September 9, 2017 (UTC)
  • "Despite his anger and dismay, however, Novachez became disillusioned with the two bullies, whom he suspected did not really care about his feelings." Could you try and shorten this and merge it into the next sentence? You should note his motivations, but I do not believe that this level of detail is required.
  • "Lilly, a new student who was also with Gaiana and Roan, was not impressed by this teasing and asked Cyrus why his friend was so mean." How is this in any way related to Voorpee?--Exiled Jedi (talk) 13:07, September 9, 2017 (UTC)
    • I think I was just trying to explain the scene and give background, but yeah, it's not really related it, so I took it out. ProfessorTofty (talk) 21:13, September 9, 2017 (UTC)
  • You have two different redlinks in the article currently. I see that the 195 BBY date is being discussed below, but there is also another redlink.
    • Yeah, that was the link for "year." I'm not even sure how that happened. Fixed that to link to "Standard year/Legends" before I had even read this objection. ProfessorTofty (talk) 19:25, October 2, 2017 (UTC)
  • One thing is rather unclear in the end of the biography: Were they able to locate the original Voorpee or did they lose track and just keep one of them?
    • Well, this ties back to something that was being discussed in earlier objection. The book simply doesn't say and from what I understand, if the source material doesn't have anything to say about it, then we're not supposed to say anything about it either, right? I could put something like "it was uncertain whether the original Voorpee was ever found," but I was under the impression that it was procedure in a case like this to just not say anything at all. ProfessorTofty (talk) 19:25, October 2, 2017 (UTC)
  • You mention that there were hundreds of clones in the introduction and in an image caption, but not in the actual biography. If this specific information is provided, it needs to be in the biography.--Exiled Jedi (talk) 01:19, September 30, 2017 (UTC)
    • Got it. Updated that section to say that it was hundreds. ProfessorTofty (talk) 19:25, October 2, 2017 (UTC)
  • I think that the last several sentences of victim of bullying drift away from the topic of this article. Could you condense this information down somewhat?--Exiled Jedi (talk) 18:27, October 22, 2017 (UTC)
    • Condensed that down to a single sentence. ProfessorTofty (talk) 19:34, October 25, 2017 (UTC)
  • There is some weird formatting going on with the article in the first section of the biography. Could you please correct this?--Exiled Jedi (talk) 20:58, November 10, 2017 (UTC)
    • Weird formatting? I'm not seeing it. It all looks A-OK on my end. Can you describe exactly what you're seeing or post a screenshot? ProfessorTofty (talk) 17:35, November 13, 2017 (UTC)
      • It was probably the whitespace in front of a paragraph, as seen here. It was causing the entire paragraph to be wrapped in <pre></pre> formatting. However AV seems to have fixed it. 1358 (Talk) 17:54, November 13, 2017 (UTC)
Toprawa
  • The article can do a more precise job of dating the events therein. If Jedi Academy says Yoda is 700 years old, then that places that book in 196 BBY, not "approximately" 196 BBY, as the reference states. Moreover, the summary of Return of the Padawan clearly states that its events take place the following school year, which would be 195 BBY; and The Phantom Bully is the next year after that, 194 BBY. The article should affix these dates throughout the Bio with proper referencing for each date, modeled after the current date reference. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 05:57, August 30, 2017 (UTC)
    • Again, perhaps I'm missing something here, but if it states that he's 700 years old, how does that automatically place it in 196 BBY, or at least the entirety of it? For example, say that you know that a person was born on September 21, 1970. In our example, they're 46 years old, but that could make the current year either 2016, or the current year could be 2017, if it's January, February, March, etc., any date of the year before September 21, 2017. ProfessorTofty (talk) 14:25, August 30, 2017 (UTC)
      • Then call it circa 196 BBY, circa 195 BBY, and circa 194 BBY. Even that nails it down more narrowly than what the article is currently doing. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 00:46, September 7, 2017 (UTC)
        • Alright, changed to say "circa" instead. ProfessorTofty (talk) 21:13, September 9, 2017 (UTC)
        • Okay, I think I got it right now and changed it to 195 BBY. If that's still not it, could you just state straightforward exactly what it is you're saying or just make the change? Sorry, but things have been kinda hectic lately and I feel like I've just lost the thread at this point. ProfessorTofty (talk) 16:25, September 21, 2017 (UTC)
            • P.S.: It appears we don't actually have a page for 195 BBY. Would you consider it worth creating a non-canon page for it, given that it isn't even mentioned directly, or should I just de-link it? ProfessorTofty (talk) 19:27, September 27, 2017 (UTC)
Furry Imperators
  • Please fix the backup links for the Databank citation and the Wizards.com citations.
    • I fixed the Wizards.com - however, what issue were you having with the Databank one? I just tried it myself and it worked just fine. ProfessorTofty (talk) 19:27, September 27, 2017 (UTC)
      • Yes, that's because, fortunately for you, Xd1358 edited the DB template itself to the effect that the backup links should work automatically for most cases now. Imperators II(Talk) 21:33, September 27, 2017 (UTC)
  • Please add backup links for the Amazon citations. Imperators II(Talk) 20:59, September 24, 2017 (UTC)
    • I added one for Return of the Padawan, however, it doesn't appear that the Internet Archive has a backup page for The Phantom Bully. If you want, I could add a backup link for Internet Archive's page for the URL, but everything on there either clicks back as a redirect to Amazon's page or a broken link, not an actual backup page. ProfessorTofty (talk) 19:27, September 27, 2017 (UTC)

Comments

Request to strike Exile Jedi's objections

Okay, this is why I start to get a bit irritated. I get distracted and neglect to check on the objections for jefflac for a little while and the nomination gets archived faster than I can blink. I know that you are supposed to be responsible for checking that and I blame myself too, but if I had just received a friendly note or anything, I would have been happy to take care of it. And I was in IRC several times last night also and nobody mentioned anything about it to me. I know there's procedures and all, but given the general apathy lately regarding the status articles process, it doesn't always pay to cling to procedure. Meanwhile, I've had these objections addressed for over three months and yet nothing has been done. If we're going to be so quick to enforce the one side, then the people who are responsible for doing the reviewing need to do their part too. In any case, before these objections came, I had the required votes to pass. I have addressed the objections and there has been no response. I am asking that the objections of Exiled Jedi be struck as having been addressed and un-responded, and if there are no other objections, then for the nomination to be passed. ProfessorTofty (talk) 14:45, May 18, 2017 (UTC)

  • After a conversation with Supreme Emperor, I have decided as a show of good faith to strike this request for now and give Exiled another chance to respond. ProfessorTofty (talk) 18:01, May 20, 2017 (UTC)


Holshef

  • Nominated by: ProfessorTofty (talk) 01:07, November 24, 2015 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: A good article nomination that got too long. The original nomination can be found here. Since the Servants of the Empire series has now ended, I think it's safe to say Holshef's story has most likely come to a close. ProfessorTofty (talk) 01:07, November 24, 2015 (UTC)

(2 Inqs/1 Users/3 Total)

(Votes required: 1 Inqvote(s) required to reach minimum. Additional 3 user or 2 Inq votes required to pass.)

Support

  1. Inqvote IFYLOFD (Talk) 02:53, June 23, 2016 (UTC)
  2. <-Omicron(Leave a message at the BEEP!) 02:42, October 19, 2017 (UTC)
  3. Inqvote Thank you for your work and for your patience. Imperators II(Talk) 22:28, November 9, 2017 (UTC)

Object

Floyd
  • First impression is that the intro could be expanded with more details of the escape. As of right now, it's a bit disproportionately small in comparison with the body.
    • Good point. I think I wrote that back before the release of The Secret Academy and never updated it. Updated now to include details from that title. ProfessorTofty (talk) 05:20, June 15, 2016 (UTC)
  • The P&T seems like it could also be expanded. For instance: "He griped that "Today's youth are always in a hurry," and began gathering stacks of his poetry, only for her to stop him, saying that they didn't have time to take anything. He asked if he could just take his latest and she knew it would be better to allow this small demand rather than let him wheedle for hours. When, however, he tried to take an entire year's worth of poems, she cut him off at one week." This alone illustrates some traits that could easily be added in.
  • Need context on the Gray Syndicate, as well as Merei Spanjaf.
  • Do we have any sort of timetable in regards to when these events occurred (i.e. how long after the Empire took control over Lothal?)
  • "When Holshef learned that the Empire was poisoning Lothal's air and water when it would have taken so little to preserve them," How were they poisoning the environment?
  • Please avoid contractions.
    • Hmm. I've heard this before, but as I've mentioned before in other article nominations like this, I can find nothing in the manual of style, the nomination guidelines, or anywhere else on the site specifically stating that contractions should be avoided. So I'm not going to avoid contractions for the sole purpose of sounding "more encyclopedic," nor replace contractions in cases where I would otherwise use them. Contractions are a natural and accepted part of the English language. That said, I'm willing to listen if you feel that removing any particular contractions would improve the article, but I'm just not sure removing contractions for the sake of removing contractions really does anything to serve our readers. ProfessorTofty (talk) 05:20, June 15, 2016 (UTC)
  • "At some point after this, Laxo sold Holshef to a bounty hunter" What do you mean by this? Did he literally sell Holshef to the bounty hunter like a slave, or just the rights to protect him?
    • This question came up in the original good article nomination as well. The book phrases it as such: "Laxo opened his eyes. They were like chips of ice. 'I just sold Holshef to a bounty hunter,' he said. 'The hunter will be here in a hour. You're going to take him to your poet friend's latest hideout... and stay while he collects the bounty.'" So I guess the idea is that what he was really selling was Holshef's location, with the idea that the bounty hunter would turn Holshef in and then give him a portion of the bounty. I've edited the article to reflect that.
  • A lot of the bio seems to focus more on Spanjaf than Holshef. For instance, the raid at the end of "A fugitive artist": How does it affect Holshef? Furthermore, the entirety of "A need to escape" is written from Spanjaf's POV.
    • Well, I guess the reason for that is that it's really impossible to tell Holshef's story without Spanjaf because everything we're told revolves around her. It seems to me that if I cut the information from that paragraph, we'd be losing crucial information, but the fact is that there are only about three or four scenes that actually have Holshef present. I did add some more about Holshef at the end of the paragraph you mentioned though; and I'd welcome more direction on this topic. ProfessorTofty (talk) 05:20, June 15, 2016 (UTC)
  • The quote in the P&T seems like it would be much better as the main quote than the one you have, where neither of the speakers are Holshef.
    • Fair enough. Made that the main quote and added a new quote for the personality and traits. ProfessorTofty (talk) 05:20, June 15, 2016 (UTC)
  • I also think you're too play-by-play narrating everything that's said. Unless what they're talking about is really important, you'd do better just to stick to the actual actions of the story. IFYLOFD (Talk) 00:32, June 3, 2016 (UTC)
    • Alright, I've tried to chop it down. Let me know what you think now. ProfessorTofty (talk) 05:20, June 15, 2016 (UTC)
Exiled Jedi
  • Per FAN rule 9, this article cannot have any redlinks.--Exiled Jedi (talk) 02:54, October 4, 2016 (UTC)
    • Quite right. I seem to recall voting in favor of that myself. Redlink taken care of, and while I was it, I also made a few other tweaks to the article. ProfessorTofty (talk) 14:03, October 4, 2016 (UTC)
Imperators II
  • Please add images. This is FAN rule 14, and an article this long simply cannot do without being illustrated. For ideas, out of the subjects linked in the intro, Lothal, Merei Spanjaf, Jho and Garel all have images that can be used here. Imperators II(Talk) 15:55, August 30, 2017 (UTC)
    • All good suggestions. I added the first three, but decided to skip Garel since the only place that seems right for that is where I already have Old Jho. ProfessorTofty (talk) 03:16, September 7, 2017 (UTC)
      • There's still a lot more room for images. Remember that you should preview the article in the Oasis skin for optimal image placement, since it's the most widely used one by the readers by far. I think the Merei and Jho images should both be moved up a section each (they're introduced there so they'll fit in just fine), and then there'll be room for the Garel image, as well. Heck, if you can think of any other appropriate images, the article will most probably be able to support those, as well. Also, please pay more attention to our policy on image caption punctuation. Imperators II(Talk) 10:49, September 7, 2017 (UTC)
        • Alright, how's it looking now? And as far as I can tell, everything I have is fine in regards to the caption punctuation. ProfessorTofty (talk) 18:28, September 10, 2017 (UTC)
  • Is there really no quote for the "Early life" subsection?
    • I've added a quote related to the sap collecting mentioned in that section which I think works. ProfessorTofty (talk) 03:16, September 7, 2017 (UTC)
  • Why do you have two dating references? It seems to me you could do with just the "fourth year BBY" reference.
    • Hmm. I'm sure my reasons for doing it that way made sense to me at the time, but now that you ask, I don't know why. It may have something to do with the fact that in the "Personality and traits" section I said "five years," but that's not right. Corrected and switched to just the one reference. ProfessorTofty (talk) 03:16, September 7, 2017 (UTC)
  • Please add a backup link to the Amazon template.
  • Please switch to the {{Tumblr}} template for the Tumblr citation and the {{JCFcite}} for the Jedi Council Forums citation.
    • And that has been switched. ProfessorTofty (talk) 03:16, September 7, 2017 (UTC)
      • You didn't switch to JCFCite. Imperators II(Talk) 10:49, September 7, 2017 (UTC)
        • Oops, don't know how I missed that. Okay, that's now switched as well. ProfessorTofty (talk) 15:28, September 7, 2017 (UTC)
          • Now that both templates support the addition of archival links, please do so for the JCFCite one (I got you a Tumblr backup link). Imperators II(Talk) 10:51, October 1, 2017 (UTC)
  • Review note: I've removed the homeworld reference because you only used information from The Secret Academy in it. The Secret Academy reference is sufficient. Imperators II(Talk) 14:33, August 31, 2017 (UTC)
  • Why do you put Old Jho in quotes in the intro, but not in the article body? Imperators II(Talk) 14:38, August 31, 2017 (UTC)
    • I'm not really sure. In any case, it's taken care of to make it more like it is in the actual article about Old Jho himself, mostly referring to him as simply Jho, except where needed. ProfessorTofty (talk) 03:16, September 7, 2017 (UTC)
  • In the intro, you say Holshef escaped to Garel, but in the article's body you just say he was supposed to meet the Spectres in the Garel system, while ending the History section by saying he escaped Lothal. Imperators II(Talk) 14:45, August 31, 2017 (UTC)
    • Alright, I've edited in all those parts to be consistent. ProfessorTofty (talk) 03:16, September 7, 2017 (UTC)
  • As you go through the rest of my objections, please also double check all uses of personal pronouns throughout the article when referring to Holshef, Spanjaf, Jho. Try to switch continually repeated pronouns such as "he", "his", "him" for names, physical descriptions, occupations, etc. I don't know if the current sourcing supports this, but "bartender" is probably something you can substitute for "he/him" when referring to Jho, for example. The result of this should be that you don't use exclusively pronouns for like three consecutive sentences, or use just pronouns when referring to multiple individuals in a single sentence. It's all about lessening potential for reader confusion.
    • Here's an example of what I'm talking about. "Spanjaf was a teenage human girl who had been drawn into the Syndicate due to her investigations into the Empire's capture of her boyfriend Zare Leonis's older sister, Dhara. An attendee of Capital City's Vocational School for Institutional Security, she possessed slicing skills" — who possessed slicing skills - Spanjaf or Dhara?
    • Here's another one: "she spoke with a whiskered Lutrillian, who warned her that Holshef would not be able to stay because he had not received his credits" — who had not received the credits - Holshef, or the Lutrillian?
      • Taken care of, all of it. Some of it was handled in dealing with the objections, and I corrected this one specifically. I scanned through the rest of the article, and I don't see anything else that should cause confusion. ProfessorTofty (talk) 02:56, October 9, 2017 (UTC)
        • Yeah, I changed a bunch more so that there would be some variety. Imperators II(Talk) 18:45, October 28, 2017 (UTC)
  • Please link to and give context for Garel both in intro and the body.
  • In the intro, you say Holshef settled on Garel, while in the body, you say he was just "dropped off" there. Those are different things.
    • I changed the intro to match what's in the body, as the book doesn't really say enough to establish that he actually settled there. ProfessorTofty (talk) 00:07, October 9, 2017 (UTC)
  • Context for Far Hiradne, please.
    • I wish I could, but there is literally nothing to say about it other than what's already there. In The Secret Academy, Jho asks "Did you ever taste the greel-wood syrup from Far Hiradne?" to which Holshef replies that his first job was as an apprentice sap collector there. Jho then replies that he has a bottle of vintage Hiradne syrup. I suppose I could add that it's on Lothal, but that seemed to me obvious from the context. ProfessorTofty (talk) 21:54, October 3, 2017 (UTC)
      • Just adding that Far Hiradne was a region is enough in this case, imo.
  • Do the reliquary and/or the saint have/merit articles?
    • I think that's borderline at best. We know nothing about them, not even what the name of the saint was or where the reliquary was located. I'll create them if you say I should, but otherwise, my judgment says no. ProfessorTofty (talk) 21:54, October 3, 2017 (UTC)
  • Currently you use both dating refs to source information other than dates, please correct this.
    • I think this problem should be all corrected now. ProfessorTofty (talk) 02:36, October 10, 2017 (UTC)
      • Unfortunately, it's not. Imperators II(Talk) 20:52, October 13, 2017 (UTC)
        • Right, pretty sure I have it now. Saw what I missed, and I'm pretty sure I know what happened too. Almost certain now that's everything, but if not, could you please either point out directly what still needs fixed or just fix it? ProfessorTofty (talk) 01:54, October 28, 2017 (UTC)
  • The 18 BBY ref:
    • "Bridger was born on the first Empire Day" — according to what source? The further-mentioned Galactic Atlas? If so, please clarify.
      • Added another source to support Bridger's being born on Empire Day. ProfessorTofty (talk) 02:56, October 9, 2017 (UTC)
    • "which was 19 BBY" — some missing punctuation here.
      • I added a comma, though personally I'm not really sure punctuation is needed there. ProfessorTofty (talk) 02:56, October 9, 2017 (UTC)
        • So sorry, I meant "missing word" instead of "missing punctuation." I went ahead and fixed it myself. Imperators II(Talk) 20:52, October 13, 2017 (UTC)
    • "this title," "Within this title" — what are these referring to, The Steal, Galactic Atlas or one the Servants of the Empire books?
      • Clarified that it was The Steal. ProfessorTofty (talk) 02:56, October 9, 2017 (UTC)
        • There is still a "this title" remaining in the ref note. With so many titles mentioned there, please clarify. Imperators II(Talk) 20:52, October 13, 2017 (UTC)
          • Okay, clarified "this title" to The Steal. ProfessorTofty (talk) 21:52, October 23, 2017 (UTC)
    • If Bridger was born in 19 BBY, couldn't he still be an infant in 19 BBY? And the second sentence of the ref isn't exactly helping - is it known in Canon that the first Empire Day was less than three months before the start of the year 18 BBY?
      • Well, that's why I said "approximately" in the main body, and "at or around" in the reference. Because we're not dealing with precise dates here. Is there a way I could better clarify that? ProfessorTofty (talk) 02:56, October 9, 2017 (UTC)
        • To be honest, I think it's complete speculation to say it's 18 BBY if the only piece of evidence supporting that is that Bridger "was an infant." Maybe it could be "approximately 19 BBY", but saying it's 18 BBY is speculative at this point. It would also be good if you fixed this wherever else on the Wook it currently says the Adventures in Wild Space books are set in 18 BBY. Imperators II(Talk) 20:52, October 13, 2017 (UTC)
          • Alright, I've gone ahead and just gone with "approximately" and tried to clarify a bit more within the reference that we're not talking about exact dates here. I'll also have a look around for anywhere else that might be citing that information. ProfessorTofty (talk) 21:52, October 23, 2017 (UTC)
  • Bio, Early life: "He enjoyed the bountiful nature of his home planet" — this is somewhat out of place. Could you either move it to a bit earlier in the paragraph or see if it's more at place in the P&T section, if not actually redundant to the info there?
    • Removed from the paragraph and explained in more detail in the personality and traits. ProfessorTofty (talk) 02:03, October 8, 2017 (UTC)
  • The second and third sections of Bio are too long and need to be further subsectioned. Don't forget to check for any appropriate quotes, of course.
    • I decided to just split the second section into two parts, since it was six paragraphs and this felt like the most natural way of breaking it up. Feel free to tweak though if you think there's a better way. ProfessorTofty (talk) 02:03, October 8, 2017 (UTC)
  • A fugitive artist: "when it would have taken so little to preserve them" — how little? Please clarify this so it's more encyclopedic in tone.
    • Clarified as to exactly how they could have done better and reworded. ProfessorTofty (talk) 16:07, October 4, 2017 (UTC)
      • I rewrote that part so that it resembles the quote even less. I hope the new version is still supported by all the referencing. Imperators II(Talk) 20:52, October 13, 2017 (UTC)
  • The 4 BBY ref:
    • "The events of this article take place in or between "Empire Day," which marks the beginning of 4 BBY; and "A Princess on Lothal," which is the first known episode to take place in 3 BBY" — okay, everything in this needs to be sourced. According to what source do the events take place between those episodes? According to what source do those episodes take place on those dates?
      • Well, the note says "For more information, see Wookieepedia's timeline of Star Wars Rebels events." This whole chronology thing is a sort of standardized thing that we've been using to make things easier when it comes to these references. If you still need, I can go ahead and try to explain all of that with detail in the reference note, but I was under the impression that referring to that thread had been accepted as a standard around here.
        • That thread could only be safely used as a reference like that if it was perfectly up to our status article standards, i.e., have no contradictions, errors, omissions, etc. It has yet to get to that place, so, yes, I'm afraid you'll have to do all the sourcing by yourself here. We've even had a couple of Rebels GAs recently using perfectly-sourced date referencing without relying on that timeline page. Imperators II(Talk) 20:52, October 13, 2017 (UTC)
          • If you happen to know off-hand, could you point me directly to those? I could really use a frame of reference here to try to get that all sorted out without having to rely on that thread. ProfessorTofty (talk) 01:54, October 28, 2017 (UTC)
            • I was referring to Killun 71 and PZ-7, but those seem to be from a little further in the timeline than what you need. You'll probably want to dig in what that thread actually have to say about the placement of the relevant episodes. From what I see, apparently media related to the episode "Empire Day" place it during the fifteenth anniversary of the Empire, which, with the help of additional sources and just a bit of math, probably becomes 4 BBY (I guess you should also check the Galactic Atlas for any relevant hard ABY dates). And from what I can see on the thread, referencing the other end (the one using "A Princess of Leia" as a marker) of the relevant time interval is even messier. Imperators II(Talk) 18:45, October 28, 2017 (UTC)
              • Alright, I think I've come up with a solution that works. Let me know what you think of how it is now. Also - was there still something going on with the below objection? Because you didn't reply to it, but you didn't slash it either. ProfessorTofty (talk) 04:43, November 6, 2017 (UTC)
                • Second sentence, "This story takes place well after [...]" — is "this story" referring to Imperial Justice or "Vision of Hope"? (Or both?) Please clarify. Also: source/evidence for it taking place "well after" "Empire Day"? And please check the changes I made to the note for factual accuracy. Imperators II(Talk) 11:13, November 6, 2017 (UTC)
                  • Sorry, it's "Vision of Hope" that takes place well-after. Edited it to reflect that. As far as your changes, yes, all looks okay to me, thanks. So that just leaves the "well after" part... hmm, well, it's only a few episodes later, so maybe "well after" is a bit generous. Okay, I've gone ahead and edited it. How's that now? ProfessorTofty (talk) 17:32, November 8, 2017 (UTC)
    • Also, purely from the info you've currently provided earlier in the ref, this bit "As such, we can deduce that this event takes place in 4 BBY" could actually be an incorrect conclusion. Maybe "A Princess of Lothal" is the first episode to take place in 3 BBY, but that doesn't exclude the possibility that the Servants of the Empire books also take place in 3 BBY.
      • Okay, that I corrected to say "in or shortly after." ProfessorTofty (talk) 02:32, October 11, 2017 (UTC)
    • The P&T doesn't need the double ref for the date.
  • The paragraph introducing Spanjaf needs to be rewritten for all the following reasons:
    • "An attendee of Capital City's Vocational School for Institutional Security, she possessed slicing skills, but was forced into the group's activities" — what group? The Vocational School, or the earlier-mentioned Gray Syndicate?
      • Seemed obvious to me from context that it would be the Gray Syndicate, but I went ahead and stated that directly. ProfessorTofty (talk) 00:07, October 9, 2017 (UTC)
    • "she possessed slicing skills, but was forced into the group's activities against her will due to her need for a snooper program as part of her investigations" — I'm not exactly seeing a contrast justifying the use of "but" here. What, was she supposed to not get involved with the group due to her possessing slicing skills?
      • Hmm, yeah, I think I was trying to get the bit about the slicing in there, but it does seem awkward when you put it that way. I moved it to earlier in the paragraph. ProfessorTofty (talk) 00:07, October 9, 2017 (UTC)
    • And then the Holshef stuff... You start the paragraph by describing the meetings between Spanjaf and Holshef, then you divert to explain Spanjaf's background, which involves completely unrelated things like education, slicing and Imperial captures, and then we're suddenly drinking tea with Holshef again. The paragraph needs to be reworked so that information is presented in a logical, preferably chronological fashion.
      • Already partly addressed as part of what you said above, but I went ahead and re-worded it further to try to keep it more separate. ProfessorTofty (talk) 00:07, October 9, 2017 (UTC)
    • "promising to paint her a picture, but nothing that would get her in trouble" — could you reword/explain this better?
      • Alright. Hope it was okay to extrapolate a little here. What he means, of course, is nothing that would attract the ire of the Empire like his previous works, though the book doesn't really come out and state it directly. ProfessorTofty (talk) 00:07, October 9, 2017 (UTC)
    • In the next paragraph: "Later, Spanjaf visited Holshef again" — this sounds like in the earlier paragraph, you were talking about a single specific meeting between the two, but that paragraph currently seems to talk about their meetings in general. Either this paragraph or the previous one need to be slightly reworded to clear this up.
      • Reworded the beginning of this paragraph to clear that up. ProfessorTofty (talk) 02:36, October 10, 2017 (UTC)
  • Context and location for 1044 Chapel, please.
  • "but a raid on Ake's Tavern, the headquarters of the Gray Syndicate, brought down by Spanjaf herself, followed Laxo's ultimatum." — could the word "orchestrated" be used here? Maybe that would allow for this part to be rewritten to avoid the passive voice, because currently it's a bit hard to follow.
  • Also, who carried out the raid?
    • As part of the above, edited to clarify that it was the Galactic Empire and their stormtroopers carrying out the raid. ProfessorTofty (talk) 02:03, October 8, 2017 (UTC)
  • "Laxo dead and Spanjaf seemingly free of their influence" — is "their" supposed to refer to Laxo or the Syndicate?
  • "she was believed to be an innocent civilian" — believed by who?
  • "whiskered Lutrillian" — aren't all Lutrillians whiskered by default? is this necessary?
    • Are they? Neither our canon nor our Legends article about the species mentions anything about whiskers and the individual in our picture for the species on our canon page for the species doesn't seem to have any. ProfessorTofty (talk) 16:51, October 3, 2017 (UTC)
  • "The Ithorian was amused that she was looking for more trouble after being freed of a bad influence like Laxo, but she told him that she just had this last bit of business to clear up" — sorry, what has this sentence got to do with Holshef at all?
    • It has to do with Holshef being the "bit of business" that she has to clear up, but I guess it can go. ProfessorTofty (talk) 16:51, October 3, 2017 (UTC)
  • "spine trees of Pelamir Gorge in the forests, forests that the Empire had now cut down" — firstly, this reads really awkward and feels like it's taken directly from the book; secondly, the use of "now" doesn't conform with our past tense requirement.
    • I'm not sure it was taken directly from the book, but in any case, I reworded it as "forests which had been cut down by the Empire." ProfessorTofty (talk) 02:03, October 8, 2017 (UTC)
      • This still reads awkwardly. Shouldn't it be "spine trees in the forests of the Pelamir Gorge" or something like that? Also, the current construction "in the forests, forests which had..." feels awkward to me. Imperators II(Talk) 18:45, October 28, 2017 (UTC)'
        • Yeah, the way you wrote it is definitely better. I've gone ahead and changed it to that. While I was at it, I removed the pipeline to "tree" from "forest," as there is now a forest article, whereas there wasn't at the time I originally made the link, but now there is (and the only reason I hadn't made it myself was because I thought we didn't want one because of dictionary or something.) ProfessorTofty (talk) 20:39, November 2, 2017 (UTC)
          • Since you linked to Forest earlier, I've changed the second mention of forests to point to Tree. Can you please rework the sentence about the Pelamir Gorge forests so that it doesn't have two consecutive clauses starting with "which"? Imperators II(Talk) 11:13, November 6, 2017 (UTC)
            • Yeah, that one was easy enough. I just changed it to "causing him" instead of "which caused him." ProfessorTofty (talk) 17:54, November 8, 2017 (UTC)
  • "he noted that she had never told him her name. She told it to him" — please rewrite this to avoid the repetition.
  • "The Galactic Empire had arrested Hestia Tarleton, a girl whose photo had been used a doppelganger for her" — I believe the word "doppelganger" is used to refer to an individual or an entity rather to an object like a photo. Please reword this.
  • "Comm message" should link to an appropriate technology - there's comm unit for Legends, what about Canon?
  • "The entire group was forced to flee Lothal in a hurry, once Spanjaf rescued Leonis's parents, with Spanjaf headed to rescue her boyfriend Zare Leonis on Arkanis, while Holshef was dropped off on Garel" — can you rewrite this so the info is presented in a logical and chronological fashion?
  • BTS: "focused on Zare Leonis's quest to uncover the fate of his sister, Dhara Leonis" — this has nothing to do with Holshef and would be at home on articles for the books and for Zare and Dhara instead.
    • Okay, but should I be describing the books in any other way instead? I put in there because in these objections I'm usually being told to clarify stuff and give a brief description of what stuff is about. ProfessorTofty (talk) 22:32, October 3, 2017 (UTC)
      • While yes, you should indeed always check whether adding context for in-universe terms in an article's body and such might be helpful to the reader, I don't really think that describing what an OOU medium is about is always necessary, and definitely not in this case. Imperators II(Talk) 20:17, October 9, 2017 (UTC)
  • The info about the other people who were being hidden by the Gray Syndicate should be moved from the BTS and P&T (it has more to do with what Holshef did than with his personality) to an appropriate place in Bio.
    • Alright, I moved it to directly after the part towards the beginning of the bio about how he paid credits to Laxo. ProfessorTofty (talk) 22:32, October 3, 2017 (UTC)
      • You haven't touched the BTS stuff. Imperators II(Talk) 21:22, October 13, 2017 (UTC)
        • Hmm, you're right about that. Not sure what happened there, but the names of the individuals are now out of the BTS entirely and with the bit about Holshef's misdeeds being different in the bio. ProfessorTofty (talk) 01:54, October 28, 2017 (UTC)
  • Since you name the JCF in the BTS, I believe you should also provide the name of Fry's blog there. Imperators II(Talk) 10:51, October 1, 2017 (UTC)
  • One last thing, I think. Can you insert another subsection right before Spanjaf is introduced in the Bio? Imperators II(Talk) 23:06, November 8, 2017 (UTC)
    • Done. In adding that, I also added a new image for the previous section, showing the polluted Lothal. Of course, it doesn't actually get that polluted until later on, but I think it demonstrates the point described in the article. Still, you can remove it if you feel it's too much of a stretch. ProfessorTofty (talk) 17:26, November 9, 2017 (UTC)
      • I agree with your reasoning and think it's a nice fit. The "A need to escape" subsection still had room for an image, so I added the only thing I could think of, I hope the choice is OK with you.
  • Finally, I added yet another subsection at the very end of the Bio. Are there any suitable quotes? Imperators II(Talk) 21:13, November 9, 2017 (UTC)
    • Yeah, I added the one about him "mooning over wildflowers." ProfessorTofty (talk) 22:09, November 9, 2017 (UTC)
Toprawa
  • There's no longer any need to use the phrasing "the fourth year before the Battle of Yavin." That was our own way of getting around the fact that Canon was initially reluctant to adopt the BBY/ABY system. Now that it officially has, all instances of his this phrasing should be changed to just say 4 ABY, etc. Please make the necessary changes to this article. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 00:28, September 23, 2017 (UTC)
    • Changed to simply reference 4 BBY instead. ProfessorTofty (talk) 16:27, September 27, 2017 (UTC)
SE
  • In the Early life section of the bio, can you clarify when Lothal was annexed by the Empire?
    • Is that something we have the details on? It's never really made clear in any of the Servants of the Empire books and even our on article on Lothal doesn't really say exactly when it was the planet was annexed. Is there some other source I don't know about? ProfessorTofty (talk) 16:27, September 27, 2017 (UTC)
  • Did the novel not specify how he learned Lothal's air and water were being poisoned?
    • Not really. It just sort of implied that it was obvious from the fact that once the Empire came in that everything started getting really polluted and the Empire was building a whole bunch of factories and stripping away the forests and such. Things that anyone who had the eyes to see and wasn't intentionally turning a blind eye towards it could observe.

ProfessorTofty (talk) 16:27, September 27, 2017 (UTC)

  • "give him enough credits to cover ten more days, but warned that this was the absolute limit." It's been a while since I read the book, was it her that warned him, or him that warned her? Supreme Emperor (talk) 02:07, September 25, 2017 (UTC)
    • He was warning her that he couldn't let him stay any longer than ten days. I edited it to try to make it more clear. ProfessorTofty (talk) 16:27, September 27, 2017 (UTC)
  • Can you also elaborate a bit on how little it would have taken to preserve Lothal's air and water supply? Supreme Emperor (talk) 02:46, October 2, 2017 (UTC)
    • Took care of that while addressing another objection above. I sorta had to go back to an earlier book, but I think what I added was a good example of this. ProfessorTofty (talk) 02:03, October 8, 2017 (UTC)

Comments

Per the discussion at the featured article nomination for Voorpee, I have gone ahead and removed all non-quoted instances of contractions from this article. ProfessorTofty (talk) 15:48, June 28, 2017 (UTC)


Fenn Booda

(1 Inqs/1 Users/2 Total)

(Votes required: 2 Inqvote(s) required to reach minimum. Additional 3 user or 2 Inq votes required to pass.)

Support

  1. Never knew there was this much info on this guy. Cevan IMPpress (talk) 00:20, November 9, 2016 (UTC)
  2. Inqvote I think it's funny... Also: I'm hoping to see two things from you, Clonehunter. First, a status article nomination for Oovo IV/Legends, and second, the full-size novel The Color of Booda's Arms. Imperators II(Talk) 22:41, November 10, 2017 (UTC)

Object

Cevan
  • I assume Booda is meant to have said "Suit," rather than "Suite," in the quote under the 'Detainment of Aurra Sing' subsection? Cevan IMPpress (talk) 19:47, November 6, 2016 (UTC)
    • Yes. I just re-checked the comic it looks like I copied it down wrong. My mistake. --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 23:50, November 8, 2016 (UTC)
Imperators II
  • Please create a category for wardens, if there isn't one already.
    • Created.
  • Please add a backup link to the ign.com citation.
    • Is that formatted right?
      • Argh, sorry for taking so long to get back to this. No, it's not formatted correctly. {{Cite web}} is probably one of the best-documented templates we have, so please take the time to read it.
        • Oh wow, I wasn't even close. I think I followed it correctly now, although one question: Do I just delete the parameters I didn't use? Also, I left out author since the link doesn't go to the actual review, but a base page before it. I don't know if you want the author anyways or not. Also, thank you for the tip on the objection. I honestly hadn't noticed it up here. Sorry about that. --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 19:15, October 7, 2017 (UTC)
          • Yeah, you remove any parameters you don't use, per the second sentence of the template's documentation. Done it for you. Imperators II(Talk) 08:20, October 8, 2017 (UTC)
  • The dating ref of 22 BBY is insufficient - what has Episode II got to do with Jedi: Aayla Secura?
    • Uuuh, I dunno. I'll check this and update this accordingly. Meanwhile, I think I got the others.
      • Alright, proper date source. Hope it's worded okay. Found a nugget of interesting, though, that I apparently skipped over before. TNEC claims Booda accepted Sing's offer and released her after a few months. Coruscant Nights has her in prison until she's freed. TNEC also mentions Sing trying to kill Anakin during the Cortorsis Battle Droid incident, given her appearance The New Droid Army, which occurs after the Aayla Secura story. Coruscant Nights seems to have skipped over the NEC and The New Droid Army to put her back in Desolation Alley. I wrote it as a "discrepancies" section, as I don't know if we can just extrapolate that she was released and randomly imprisoned again, though I suppose that could have happened and Booda did in fact free her. Wouldn't be much to rewrite. I might just do that before you reply, even. I ramble in these things. --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 16:21, September 10, 2017 (UTC)
  • "A male[1] member of a tall, thin species," — this would be perfectly at home in the P&T section.
    • Okay. How does that look? "Gaunt"'s definition sort of includes thin/lean/skinny/pencil.
  • The number of Booda's digits should be mentioned.
    • Done.
  • Imho, the lead quote and the caption of the first body image should be changed to reflect that Booda was not talking to a non-descript prisoner, but Aurra Sing. Imperators II(Talk) 15:36, August 31, 2017 (UTC)
    • I had thought about it, but my reasoning for not doing so was that given both the quote and the image being a part of the first paragraph, which hasn't introduced Aurra Sing yet, it would make more contextual sense to not mention her. However, I believe the image is larger than what is shown (This is the image that existed before I wrote the article and changed the infobox image), so I could maybe move it down and replace it with the full image of Booda talking to Sing and then change the caption. Yes? No? Thoughts? --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 02:18, September 9, 2017 (UTC)
      • I recommend you leave the image in the first section and just change the caption to reflect that what we see in the image is Booda fullfilling his duties as a warden or something like that.
        • Ok, how about that?
  • Bio: "as the intergalactic Clone Wars raged on after it sparked on the planet of Geonosis during the year.[9]" — neither "intergalactic", "Clone Wars", nor "during the year" can be sourced to Episode II.
    • I switched over the whole sentence to the NEC, since the book describes all of that well enough.
  • BTS: "Sing remained imprisoned in Oovo IV until she was freed by Darth Vader" — did the novel actually say that Sing remained on Oovo IV from her imprisonment during Jedi: Aayla Secura? If not, then you're just combining two non-conflicting pieces of information and the note under the Discrepancies section is unnecessary. Imperators II(Talk) 22:30, September 23, 2017 (UTC)
    • You're right, that was pointless. Coruscant Nights mentions the altercation on Devaron, but it does not *directly* link Sing's current prison sentence with the one from the comic book. Given what the NEC says, it can be considered her second sentence, which doesn't appear to be explained. Removed the BtS sub-section and cleaned up the last Bio paragraph, given that it went too much into detail about Aurra Sing, and not so much Booda. Left her second sentence in for context, though. My mistake for transcribing the book wrong. Still seems to be a bad habit on occasion. --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 19:16, September 29, 2017 (UTC)
  • Neither "jabber-jaw", "jabberjaw", or "jabber jaw" are words in any dictionary I can see, except for Jabberjaw. Imperators II(Talk) 14:02, October 26, 2017 (UTC)
    • Despite having used the term with that connotation for quite some time, it may be fair to assess that it is not as common as I thought. But I googled some places that list it. If you'd prefer, though, the Nintendo racer guides uses the term "hyperactive motor-mouth." I kinda dig it. --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 15:45, October 28, 2017 (UTC)
      • You realize, though, that none of the three sources you listed can be used for encyclopedic writing, right? Wordnik.com offers no definitions, just examples used by some people; Wordcentral.com lists words submitted by users (I kid you not, three words down there's a word submitted by someone with the username "Hot Mama"), and Urban Dictionary...yeah. "Motor-mouth" (or, rather, "motormouth") can at least be found in formal dictionaries. Imperators II(Talk) 16:46, October 28, 2017 (UTC)
        • What I realize is that the sources, though not encyclopedic themselves, reinforce the idea that the word is used in that way. You'll see, one day the world will see it my way! But for now, I changed it to motormouth. The book actually hyphenates, but if the dictionary doesn't, then that's probably more correct. --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 19:54, November 1, 2017 (UTC)
SE
  • "One tunnel on Vengeance lacked any ore whatsoever and instead played host to an exogorth." Can you give some context on what an exogorth is?
    • How's that?
      • I would suggest describing it as a giant slug capable of surviving in the vaccum of space Supreme Emperor (talk) 21:40, October 16, 2017 (UTC)
        • Seems kind of extraneous, so what about just "space-slug?" More or less tells us it lives in space and everything that goes with it. The tunnel, as I recall, is in an outside portion of the The Gauntlet track, which should allow the note to stay the same. --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 05:42, October 22, 2017 (UTC)
  • "the diminutive jabber-jaw" What exactly does jabber-jaw mean? Supreme Emperor (talk) 02:40, October 8, 2017 (UTC)
    • A term used for those who talk too much. The racer guides describe Fud Sang as being a very talkative individual. --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 08:25, October 8, 2017 (UTC)
  • "After a series of events on the planet Devaron" What kinds of events? Describing it as a series of events seems a bit vague imo. Supreme Emperor (talk) 03:07, October 23, 2017 (UTC)

Comments

Halle Burtoni

(2 Inqs/4 Users/6 Total)

(Votes required: 1 Inqvote(s) required to reach minimum. No additional user votes required to pass, please consider reviewing another article.)

Support

  1. Nice job! - AV-6R7Crew Pit 03:27, December 30, 2015 (UTC)
  2. Indeed! TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders AnilSerifoglu (talk) 02:57, April 21, 2016 (UTC)
  3. Looks good! Cevan IMPpress (talk) 02:54, November 6, 2016 (UTC)
  4. Fantastic! Shayn Mikel (talk) 22:20, January 6, 2017 (UTC)
  5. Inqvote 1358 (Talk) 21:13, October 23, 2017 (UTC)
  6. Inqvote Supreme Emperor (talk) 04:01, November 9, 2017 (UTC)

Object

AV
  • Can you find a quote for the Bts section, perhaps from one of the Blu-Ray TCW sets?
  • Mention that phase II armor was specifically an improvement over phase I?
    • I feel like that's implied with "upgrade over." - Brandon Rhea(talk) 03:17, December 30, 2015 (UTC)
      • The reason I say this is because it currently links clone trooper armor while Phase II specifically improved on Phase I. Mayeb change it so that it says "an upgrade over Phase I clone trooper armor"?
        • I changed it so the word "standard" links to Phase I. - Brandon Rhea(talk) 03:24, December 30, 2015 (UTC)
  • Maybe mention Mot-Not Rab at the end of the first paragraph in the Biography section along with Amedda and Deechi? - AV-6R7Crew Pit 02:44, December 30, 2015 (UTC)
Floyd
  • Just one question I'd like to see addressed: How was Teckla Minnau an example of the war harming the people of the Republic? IFYLOFD (Talk) 00:59, July 2, 2016 (UTC)
    • Just saw this now. I didn't add the specifics because it seemed superfluous for this character's article. I can add it, though. Just need to double check the episode as a reminder. - Brandon Rhea(talk) 14:37, August 7, 2016 (UTC)
Cevan
  • What exactly is the emboldened part of the following sentence trying to say?
    "Senator Amidala gave another speech before the full Senate, arguing that the financial costs for a troop increase would cripple to the conflict, and that more clones would only escalate the Clone Wars." Cevan IMPpress (talk) 22:58, October 27, 2016 (UTC)
Ecks Dee
  • Height appears to be infobox-exclusive.
  • This is minor, but the term "the continuation of the Clone Wars" is used twice in close succession in the intro. Can we have some variation here?
  • Some thoughts on capitalization of titles, specifically the three following: senator, loyalist, chancellor
    • "senator" appears to be consistently capitalized, no matter if it's used as a title (Senator of Kamino) or as a description (Kaminoan Senator). The article should probably reflect this. (see Burtoni's DB entry for instance)
    • "loyalist" also appears to be capitalized even when not using the full name (Loyalist Committee); Bail Organa's DB entry uses "Loyalist factions" for examples, so one could probably apply the same standards for "Loyalist senators"
    • whereas Supreme Chancellor is always capitalized in that way, I'm not 100% the same goes for Chancellor, even though I would assume it does. Thoughts?
      • In the real world, at least in US politics, "senator" and "president" would never be capitalized unless a name followed it (e.g. Senator Warren, President Trump, etc) so that's what I was going with. If Star Wars sources do it differently, that's good to know. I've capitalized all of these. - Brandon Rhea(talk) 18:02, September 29, 2017 (UTC)
  • Check your image caption punctuation. Only full sentences get a full stop.
  • Reference 13 is completely broken.
    • This will be resolved/made redundant by the addressing of the next objection. - Brandon Rhea(talk) 18:02, September 29, 2017 (UTC)
  • All references with external links, including IMDb, require backup links. 1358 (Talk) 18:39, September 20, 2017 (UTC)
    • And better yet, change any references using IMDb to more reliable sources. Imperators II(Talk) 21:17, September 24, 2017 (UTC)
      • I've resolved this for Senate Murders and Pursuit of Peace by using Star Wars: The Clone Wars: Episode Guide. I have to look into what that says the dates are for the other two episodes, since there's inconsistencies between it and IMDb. Stay tuned. - Brandon Rhea(talk) 18:02, September 29, 2017 (UTC)
  • Check the order of references in the P&T. I'm seeing consecutive uses of both [2] and [5]. 1358 (Talk) 22:18, September 29, 2017 (UTC)
  • "the legislative body of the Galactic Republic.[1]" This can't be sourced to Burtoni's DB entry like it is right now, but I guess it can be sourced to that TCW episode?
  • I think what/who Gume Saam represents in the Senate should be mentioned, for consistency, seeing as you mention the planet of every other Senator.
  • Same goes for Amidala; Naboo is technically intro-exclusive at the moment.
  • "As the debate over troop increases continued, the Loyalist Committee continued fighting against Burtoni's proposal and put forward their own anti-troop increase legislation to stop it." This sounds like they're increasing anti-troops, so I recommend you reword the entire thing to avoid the anti- prefix. Also, the Committee is in singular so the possessive would be "its", not "their".
  • "Amidala told her that it was a private conversation, and Burtoni implied that it was a Separatist conspiracy." What's "it"? The entire celebration party or the specific line where Amidala says celebrating is premature? The second half of the sentence also seems a bit disjointed, so it's probably a good idea to rewrite this entire sentence.
  • "Farr escorted Burtoni out of the meeting, and she assured them that the war was far from over." We haven't been introduced to Farr's gender here, so it almost sounds like the "she" here is talking about Farr. How could Burtoni assure them the war was not over if she had been escorted out from the meeting?
  • Second paragraph of "Murder of Onaconda Farr" is a bit PBP; Burtoni said this, Deechi said that, Burtoni asserted this. Can you please condense this a bit?
  • "Later, while the Senators were under the protection of Lieutenant Divo, Purs claimed she was attacked by Senator Burtoni" Which Senators are we talking about here? The Loyalist Senators, I assume?
  • And that's it... I think. 1358 (Talk) 19:54, October 2, 2017 (UTC)
  • Finally, I'd like to see a short mention about her clothing in the P&T (a separate Equipment section is probably not warranted). That headband with the dangling things in particular seems noteworthy. 1358 (Talk) 12:44, October 11, 2017 (UTC)
      • Done. Let me know if the phrasing I used works for you, or if you'd rather something else. - Brandon Rhea(talk) 19:51, October 23, 2017 (UTC)
Toprawa
  • Now that we have BBY/ABY dates for things and can narrow down the Clone Wars, it would be better for this article to more specifically state that her character's events from TCW took place between 22 BBY-19 BBY, unless we can narrow down these episodes even more narrowly than that. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 19:23, September 28, 2017 (UTC)
SE
  • Can you clarify what year the power generators on Coruscant were bombed? Specifying a date here would also help clarify how far into the war these discussions on deregulating the bank was. Supreme Emperor (talk) 04:32, October 17, 2017 (UTC)

Comments

Mee Deechi

  • Nominated by: Brandon Rhea(talk) 17:14, December 31, 2015 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: Apparently I'm on a bit of a TCW political kick lately. - Brandon Rhea(talk) 17:17, December 31, 2015 (UTC)

(1 Inqs/3 Users/4 Total)

(Votes required: 2 Inqvote(s) required to reach minimum. Additional 1 user or 1 Inq vote required to pass.)

Support

  1. TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders AnilSerifoglu (talk) 00:19, May 8, 2016 (UTC)
  2. Cevan IMPpress (talk) 22:51, February 3, 2017 (UTC)
  3. Imperial Information Office AV-6R7Crew Pit 02:06, September 24, 2017 (UTC)
  4. Inqvote 1358 (Talk) 23:48, November 15, 2017 (UTC)

Object

AnilSerifoglu
  • Exact date of death can be added. I think it is "c. 21 years before the Battle of Yavin", regarding the timeline of canon media. TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders AnilSerifoglu (talk) 03:07, April 21, 2016 (UTC)
    • I'm not sure how I would source that. The timeline of canon media is saying "Senate Murders" is at least 1 year into the war, not that it's circa 21 years before the Battle of Yavin. What would you recommend in terms of satisfying this objection?—which I would also note that, had there not been a question about it, would have easily been a "sofixit" objection that you could have added to the page on your own. I'm glad you brought it up here since there is a question about it, but that's something to think about for the future. - Brandon Rhea(talk) 23:40, May 7, 2016 (UTC)
      • I agree with you, it should stay as it is. TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders AnilSerifoglu (talk) 00:19, May 8, 2016 (UTC)
AV
  • Could we get air dates for the episodes in the Bts? - AV-6R7Crew Pit 17:35, January 29, 2017 (UTC)
    • I don't see why that's relevant. Do other articles use air dates? - Brandon Rhea(talk) 22:53, February 3, 2017 (UTC)
Imperators II
  • The date of death is infobox-exclusive, and it can't be sourced to Senate Murders.
    • Someone else added that during the course of this nomination. I know of no sourceable way to pinpoint exact Clone Wars dates at this time, so I've reverted it back to how I had it originally. - Brandon Rhea(talk) 17:03, August 31, 2017 (UTC)
  • Please add backup links to the IMDB templates, or better yet, change the episode airdate references to a more reliable source. Imperators II(Talk) 15:49, August 31, 2017 (UTC)
Toprawa
  • Now that we have BBY/ABY dates for things and can narrow down the Clone Wars, it would be better for this article to more specifically state that his death and his character's events from TCW took place between 22 BBY-19 BBY, unless we can narrow down these episodes even more narrowly than that. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 19:21, September 28, 2017 (UTC)
    • How's this? - Brandon Rhea(talk) 18:07, September 29, 2017 (UTC)
      • Firstly, I'd recommend removing the dates from the intro. It's not so critical that they need to be mentioned there for an event so widespread like the Clone Wars. This is more for narrowing down the specific events of these two episodes, which we seem to have dates for. The "Pursuit of Peace" article lists a 21 BBY date (no source, though, so I don't know if that's accurate), while "Senate Murders" has a cited 21 BBY date. This is what should be included in this article, particularly for his death -- if we can specify that he died in 21 BBY, that should absolutely be done. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 17:26, October 4, 2017 (UTC)
        • Done. Let me know if you think the reference note can be improved. - Brandon Rhea(talk) 06:54, October 17, 2017 (UTC)
  • I'd like to see the intro cut down a little bit. It seems kind of long in relation to the size of the Biography. If you combined/reduced the second and third paragraphs to be closer to the size of the first, that would be better.
  • There's enough space in the last half of the first Bio subsection to hold another image.
  • Is there no specific items he makes use of to put in an Equipment section? If nothing else, I think you should definitely devote some mention to his outfit, which is clearly inspired from the film's Umbaran character. Both wear that high-collar dealy with a diamond shape across the throat area. I would specifically mention that fact, that his outfit is similar to fellow Umbaran Senate-person Sly Moore. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 17:26, October 4, 2017 (UTC)
    • Done, though I'm not entirely sure how to cite the similarity so let me know if it should be changed. - Brandon Rhea(talk) 06:54, October 17, 2017 (UTC)
Ecks Dee
  • Reference 2 requires a screenshot of the tweet to be uploaded on Wookieepedia and included in the reference.
  • "The Galactic Senate became a political battlefield of its own during the war, with senators from opposing points of view debating the merits of continuing and even escalating the war effort versus seeking a diplomatic solution with the Confederate government." This entire sentence is currently sourced to the aforementioned tweet. Please correct. 1358 (Talk) 00:09, November 1, 2017 (UTC)
  • Battle of Umbara appears to be a conjectural name and should therefore not be linked as such in the intro.
  • Deechi is mentioned once in all of paragraph two and three in the bio. Either you need to find a way to shoehorn him in there, or you need to cut down on the context (preferred). 1358 (Talk) 23:21, November 5, 2017 (UTC)

Comments

L'ulo L'ampar

  • Nominated by: Cwedin(talk) 08:51, January 16, 2016 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: My first character nom

(0 Inqs/3 Users/3 Total)

(Votes required: 3 Inqvote(s) required to reach minimum. Additional 1 user or 1 Inq vote required to pass.)

Support

  1. TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders AnilSerifoglu (talk) 02:51, April 21, 2016 (UTC)
  2. Figured it was high time I reviewed this considering events in the comic from earlier this year. Cevan IMPpress (talk) 22:07, August 13, 2017 (UTC)
  3. A interesting character. JS-4422 (talk) 10:19, September 6, 2017 (UTC)

Object

Manoof
  • Straight off the bat, this page is in a maintenance category (templates with invalid url parameters). You'll have to go through your urls and fix this. It'll probably be one of your references, check the template page as it probably doesn't need the full url. For example, the starwars.com links don't need the http://www.starwars.com/ section of the url, and including it adds it to the category. I only noticed as I'm cleaning these categories up. As it's a nomination, I thought I'd drop a note so you can keep it in mind for future edits/nominations :) Manoof (talk) 10:17, April 19, 2016 (UTC)
Exiled Jedi
  • Per FAN rule 9, this article cannot have any redlinks.--Exiled Jedi (talk) 02:56, October 4, 2016 (UTC)
    • Alright, I think I snagged 'em all. - Cwedin(talk) 01:57, October 5, 2016 (UTC)
Ecks Dee
  • "Near the war's end, Lieutenant L'ampar participated in the Rebellion's attack on the Galactic Empire's second Death Star in the Battle of Endor," I feel like it's not entirely fair to call it "near the end" as it went on for another year and Endor can be considered the tipping point.
    • Fair point, fixed.
      • Is there some sort of more specific canonical timeline for this? I gather from the bio that three months after Endor, L'ulo was informed there was no foreseeable end, and then that the war ended "less than a year later", which could mean 3+10 months for example (making "final year" inaccurate). If you can't find a more specific timeline, I suggest replacing the "final year" with just 4 ABY.
        • Lost Stars states that Jakku was a year and four days after Endor, so I'd say "less than a year" is accurate. I would use "nine months later," but it isn't clear when the NR was formed.
          • Erm, how exactly is "a year and four days" less than a year? Either go with penultimate, or better yet, just "4 ABY".
            • My intended wording was "less than a year [after Bey resignation and the NR's formation], Jakku happened." Since Bey resigned 3 months after Endor, and Endor was 12 months before Jakku, it has to be less than a year... Also, 4 ABY wouldn't be correct in this instance, so I've just rephrased the sentence to be in relation with Endor.
              • I'm talking about the intro. "In the war's final year, Lieutenant L'ampar participated in the Rebellion's attack on the Galactic Empire's second Death Star in the Battle of Endor"
                • Oh, my bad. Fixed.
  • " which former–Rebellion leader Leia Organa viewed as a threat to the New Republic." I'm not entirely sure what purpose the dash here serves.
    • It served absolutely none, and it's gone.
  • "L'ampar's comrades mourned his death, and Dameron located Tekka on the desert planet Jakku, completing Black Squadron's mission." This almost makes it sound as if Dameron wasn't one of the comrades mourning his death. You need a better way to connect the first clause with the rest of the sentence.
    • I've broken it up into two sentences and rephrased it a bit.
  • The MoS stipulates that ranks only be capitalized when they precede a name. Not the case here: "Holding the rank of Lieutenant, L'ampar flew as a Rebel pilot in Green Squadron"
    • Fixed.
  • In the same sentence, you have two consecutive clauses with flying/flew; please reword: "L'ampar flew as a Rebel pilot in Green Squadron, flying an RZ-1 A-wing interceptor"
    • I've changed the instance of "flying" to "operating."
  • I don't think Battle of Endor is linked in the body at all. I'd sofixit but I'm not sure where to put it.
    • Done.
  • "the Executor, an Executor-class Star Dreadnought[9] and the mightiest ship in the Imperial Navy." Can "mightiest" be sourced to whatever it's sourced to right now? In any case, I recommend finding a better description such as being the command ship in the Battle (Encyclopedia-Logo Super Star Destroyer in the Encyclopedia (link now obsolete; backup link))
    • I've updated the description as suggested.
  • Based on the body, L'ampar automatically assumed/was given command as a result of Green Leader's sacrifice. I feel like this could be better explained in the intro (maybe "assumed command"?).
    • Done.
  • "When L'ampar was approached by Green Four Shara Bey, she inquired if she could join the festivities." This needs to be reworded: She approaches L'ampar TO inquire; this can probably be fixed by removing the "When" and and replace the "she" with "who".
    • Done.
  • "Informed of their new mission, the troops, led by Solo and the Pathfinders, launched an assault on the outpost. Aided by the Ewoks, the Rebels defeated the remaining Imperials, only to discover Imperial data and communications confirming that the war was not yet over." This is not particularly relevant to L'ampar and can be condensed into a single sentence.
    • Done.
  • "Seventeen days after the Battle of Endor, L'ampar commanded Green Squadron, and with the BTL-A4 Y-wing assault starfighter/bombers of Feral Group, he engaged Imperial starfighters in the battle of Cawa City. The capital of Sterdic IV, Cawa City was was dominated by persisting Imperial forces." Several issues here. The second sentence exists only to give context here and it feels out of place especially as it comes after the first mention of Cawa City. Furthermore, naming the starfighter model of Feral Group is probably not important here; it can be mentioned later on. The battle of Cawa City is also a conjectural name and linking it like that is discouraged.
    • I've restructured the phrasing and moved the links around.
      • Was L'ampar also commanding Feral Group? If not, you should probably move the "alongside Feral group" to after the endash clause to make it clear.
        • Done.
  • "Soon after, the Rebellion formally created the New Republic" As far as I know, the rebellion turned into the New Republic rather than creating the NR as a separate instance, which is what it sounds like here.
    • Fixed.
  • In "Mission to the Crèche", you have two consecutive sentences where something's being created. This gets a bit repetitive.
    • Changed "created" to "organized."
  • "Black Squadron then lost contact with Dameron, and a moment before L'ampar entered the cavern to find him, the transmission was restored." Did he enter the cavern anyway? This is either a tense issue or very unclear.
    • He did not enter the cavern. I've reworded it, but I'm not sure if it's any clearer.
  • "Dameron reported that he was fine, but he found a tracker on his ship, and the First Order was likely to arrive soon." Same issue here. Did he find it after reporting he was fine? Or should it this be more like "that he was fine but that he had found a tracker..."?
    • The second one. I've rephrased it that way.
  • re[[fuel]] This kind of linking is discouraged as the first part of the word does not become part of the link. Please pipelink the entire word.
    • Fixed.
  • Can we please replace the parenthetical clause with endashes instead? (or anything else for that matter)
  • Halfway there. I'll go over the first half once more once these are addressed. 1358 (Talk) 21:36, September 5, 2017 (UTC)
  • For what it's worth, it's not necessary to list every single organization in the command tree in the affiliation section in the infobox. Right now, words get cut off due to the indenting. I'd recommend removing the Military/Fleet and Military/Navy bullets.
    • Done.
  • Right now Palpatine's death is kind of intro-exclusive; it's only implied in the bio. I'd recommend replacing "Succeeding in their mission" with something like "With the superweapon gone and Emperor Palpatine dead..."
    • Done.
  • "The attack brought down the Executor's shields, and Crynyd, seeing a chance to even the odds, sacrificed himself in a suicide run to destroy the capital ship's bridge" This is referenced to the Databank but I can't see it there.
    • It's from the image 5 caption in the history gallery. The A-wing Databank page/gallery is referenced a few times, so I just lopped them into a single reference. Should they be broken up a bit?
      • Ah, didn't see that. It's fine as it is.
  • "Not wanting to leave unfinished business, General Han Solo held a briefing in Bright Tree Village, for which L'ampar was present." Can this be rewritten from L'ampar's perspective, i.e. "L'ampar was present at blah blah"? 1358 (Talk) 10:05, September 6, 2017 (UTC)
    • Done.
  • I'd like to see the biography further subsectioned. "Empire's end" can be split into an Endor section and a post-Endor section. "Mission to the Crèche" and "Visiting Grakkus" can both be split into two, and Legacy can be its own subsection.
    • Done. I'll look into grabbing some additional quotes.
      • Leaving this unstruck until quotes are found.
        • Quotes are now in. - Cwedin(talk) 03:39, September 18, 2017 (UTC)
  • "Soon after Dameron joined, he underwent missions allowing the Resistance to intercept intelligence claiming that Luke Skywalker, Organa's exiled brother and the last Jedi in the galaxy, was being searched for by the First Order. Desperate to find him first, Organa tasked Dameron to locate Lor San Tekka, an explorer believed to know Skywalker's whereabouts." Can we condense this a bit? It doesn't concern L'ampar very much.
    • Done.
  • "simply requesting "leverage."" I feel like this stands out a bit. It's pretty clear that he's requesting aid and you should probably just go with that.
    • Not sure why I kept that quote.
  • " the Duros flew past the enemy platform" What platform are we talking about here? 1358 (Talk) 17:27, September 6, 2017 (UTC)
    • The aforementioned First Order transport. I've added a new link and made the word choice more consistent. - Cwedin(talk) 03:05, September 9, 2017 (UTC)
  • Good job so far. I'll continue with my review shortly. 1358 (Talk) 19:42, September 14, 2017 (UTC)
Ecks Dee, part deux
  • "Once the squadron arrived in the space station which operated the prison" This needs to be clarified. How does a space station operate a prison? A cursory glance at the space station article seems to indicate the space station merely projected an anti-gravity field on the surface prison to protect the prisoners from the high gravity outside the field.
    • That's correct. I've rephrased it a bit.
  • "However, the guards had been bribed" Do we know who bribed the guards?
    • Terex. I've added that info and moved his re-introduction to earlier in the section.
  • "The Grakks then picked up L'ampar and the other pilots" Where do they get picked up? The prior sentence indicates they entered the castle but this one explicitly says Dameron entered his home.
    • The building is surrounded by a gated wall. I've clarified the sentence.
  • "When L'ampar questioned if they should enter Grakkus' fortress and check on him, but Pava replied that trusting Dameron was a safer option than facing the mob of prisoners. As Pava finished" Finished doing what? Talking? Also, "When…, but" isn't a proper sentence construction.
    • Fixed. I don' english gud.
  • It's been a while since Terex was mentioned and I for one had to scroll up to find out. Maybe some brief context could be useful when he's reintroduced here.
    • Fixed, per above.
  • In general, "Visiting Grakkus" is quite PBP in some parts and you should take a look and see if you can make it more concise. You don't need to cover every remark L'ulo makes to Dameron and vice versa.
    • I've got a bad habit of doing that. (The Layout Guide's "level of detail" bit gets to my head sometimes.)
  • "and the crowd of prisoners outside Grakkus' walls began to break into the enclosure. L'ampar and the rest of Black Squadron were quickly outnumbered, so Dameron told his squadron to retreat into Grakkus' fortress" What exactly is the enclosure here? The fortress? Then how can they retreat into the fortress in the second sentence?
    • I've added some more context.
  • "also telling the Duros to retrieve guns for them." From where?
    • Good question. I'd guess from the prisoners, but it's unclear.
  • "Fully armed, Black Squadron shot down the door to Grakkus' fortress" I'm not sure you can shoot down a door; that's generally reserved for air/space combat. I would've changed it to "destroyed" but I'm not familiar with the source so I don't know if they destroyed it or just shot a hole in it.
    • Destroyed works.
  • "Black Squadron returned to the orbiting station, finding a shuttle for the Hutt." How did they return there? They arrived on the planet with a ferry, but how did they get back? Did they find a shuttle on the space station or was the shuttle used for getting into orbit?
    • I don't think there's an answer. They're on the surface, telling Luta they're coming up, and on the next comic panel, they're back in the station.
  • "When L'ampar and the rest of Black Squadron discovered Dameron's plight" How did they discover it?
    • Deus ex machina, it seems.
      • LFL needs to hire me as a CinemaSins type reviewer to catch these things. :P
  • The PBP issue mentioned earlier is also present in "Sacrifice". You don't need to tell the reader about every single line of dialogue shared between Black Squadron. 1358 (Talk) 13:48, September 18, 2017 (UTC)
    • Done. - 02:57, September 29, 2017 (UTC)
  • "Once in orbit around Megalox Beta, the squadron landed in a space station, which projected a protective field upon a section of the planet's surface. Luta explained that Megalox Beta had a gravitational pull which was ten times standard, and the planet's gravity would crush any prisoners who attempted to leave the shielded area.[20]" I feel like these two sentences could use some reorganizing. I think you should fit all the info on the space station's protective field and the gravity in the second sentence.
    • I felt the need to trim down on some details to make it work, but I think it's fine.
      • Much better.
  • "Terex exited the courtyard and walked through the criminal mob, which parted for him." Are we talking about the same crowd that attacked the pilots earlier? If so, you need to make it clear. Right now it sounds like they gave up the attack and went home, instead of remaining there and camping outside the courtyard.
    • Fixed.
  • "Before the enemy ships could destroy Kun's fighter, they were obliterated by Muva, who had secretly boarded the Carrion Spike and sabotaged its targeting computers to attack its own fleet." Who destroyed the enemy ships? Muva or the reprogrammed targeting computers?
    • Fixed.
  • For a character with so many appearances, the P&T sure seems a bit skimpy. Are we sure nothing more can be said about him?
    • I'm not really sure what more could be said, but I'll look through the appearances again and add anything noteworthy. Are you looking for specific examples of his actions, or just an analysis of his character?
      • I'm not looking at anything in particular per se, but for a character with such a long biography, two short paragraphs seems on the short side. I feel like his relationship with Bey and Dameron could be elaborated further. I noticed the phrase "never backing out of a fight" in the Legacy and that sounds like something worth covering in the P&T. Just by looking at the quotes used in the article, I think you could definitely include him being enraged by the shooting of the pods (Sacrifice section). I recommend you go through all the source material and see if there's more that can be said about him, particularly reactions to things (quotes, etc). I haven't read the source material, but see what you can do.
        • I've fleshed it out a bit more. Still a WIP, though. - Cwedin(talk) 04:53, October 26, 2017 (UTC)
          • Let me know when you have the final version and I'll have a look. 1358 (Talk) 22:47, October 27, 2017 (UTC)
            • I finished up the run-through, and I think I've got everything.
  • The same goes, although to a smaller extent, for the S&A. His prowess with a blaster belongs here, not in the Equipment section. See if you can add some more stuff to both the P&T and the S&A.
    • I think the S&A section is pretty comprehensive as is, but I'll see what more I can find.
  • I've done some minor rewording in my latest copy-edit so make sure to go through it and ensure everything is still accurate. 1358 (Talk) 21:03, October 3, 2017 (UTC)
  • Another image would definitely fit somewhere around the S&A/Equipment sections.
    • Done.
  • I think you could make his leadership of Green Squadron its own sentence in S&A.
    • Done.
  • It is my understanding that the L'ulo stand was Bey's invention; this should definitely be included in the S&A as well.
    • I think L'ulo created the maneuver. From BTA: [Poe] had one maneuver left that he could think of, one his mother had told him she'd seen one other pilot do, only once, and that in atmosphere. A L'ullo [sic] Stand, she'd called it.
  • I don't suppose there's anything custom about the A-wing he flew, like paintjobs or something?
    • Nope, nothing remarkable.
  • No other equipment he used? Minor things can be included as well.
    • Found a couple more things to add.
  • Based on the Equipment quote, he seems to insist on using A-wings while everyone is else uses X-wings. Is this emphasized somewhere else in the source material? Would definitely be worth mentioning if he was "stuck in the past" so to say.
    • I don't think that's the case. Other Resistance A-wings are depicted/mentioned in Poe Dameron Annual 1 and Join the Resistance, and the Black Squadron X-wing pilots were previously NR X-wing pilots. I think they just fly what they know or whatever's available.
  • I'm a bit hesitant about the inclusion of this in the Bts. "In a 2017 article on StarWars.com, L'ampar was listed as one of eight significant Star Wars characters from Marvel Comics, along with Aphra, O-MR1, Shara Bey, Pash Davane, Loo Re Anno, Evaan Verlaine, and Agent Terex." Yes, it's a StarWars.com article, but from what I see, it's by a guest/fan writer and not really an official list. Toprawa put it well on another FAN.
    • Makes sense. Gone.
  • Same goes for the external link to the SW.com article in question. I don't think it really warrants an inclusion.
    • Fixed.
  • Reference 28 requires proper linking as per WP:S.
    • Done.
  • References 29, 31, and 34 require backup links as per WP:S.
    • For the Marvel ref, Wayback is giving me "Page cannot be displayed due to robots.txt." Should I find another reference, or is there a work around?
      • I've fixed it for you. Usually prefixing the URL you want archived with web.archive.org/web/ gives you a working link. 1358 (Talk) 14:39, November 9, 2017 (UTC)
  • I'd recommend you move the Imagecat to the Appearances. It's a bit hidden below the reference scroll box. 1358 (Talk) 22:47, October 27, 2017 (UTC)
Ecks Dee, part trois
  • Ok, just some more, we're almost done here.
  • Looking at the intro in Oasis, which is how the majority of our desktop readers see it, it definitely seems to be quite long. I'd like to see it trimmed a bit; something like 25% or about 2.5 paragraphs instead of the current 3 would be optimal. On a quick glance, the part that starts with "During this time" (4 sentences) could definitely be cut down to 2; right now almost that entire paragraph is dedicated to his relationship with Bey.
  • "Encountering the Crèche" could definitely accommodate an image. 1358 (Talk) 14:39, November 9, 2017 (UTC)
AV
  • Since we now know Arvel Crynyd's rank was commander, would you mind adding it to the article? - Imperial Information Office AV-6R7Crew Pit 22:15, October 12, 2017 (UTC)
    • It's a bit redundant since he's already called Green Leader, but I'll sneak it in there. - Cwedin(talk) 22:19, October 12, 2017 (UTC)

Comments

Quick note. Although there's no way to know for sure at this point, it's very possible that the Duros on the cover of Star Wars: Poe Dameron 3 is L'ulo. If he's in multiple issues of the Poe Dameron comic, which wouldn't surprise me given his connection to Shara, then this nomination will no longer satisfy FAN requirement #6. - Brandon Rhea(talk) 16:40, April 2, 2016 (UTC)

  • I've noticed that too. Hopefully we get an answer come Wednesday! (In the meantime, I'll be copy-editing the article. It could use a cleanup.) - Cwedin(talk) 17:06, April 2, 2016 (UTC)
    • Want me to do a copy-edit? Whenever I write something, I always miss things that other people end up finding for me. - Brandon Rhea(talk) 17:11, April 2, 2016 (UTC)
      • That would be fantastic! Also, if you have any tips on updating the article's images, that would be great. (I feel they're poorly utilized at the moment.) - Cwedin(talk) 17:20, April 2, 2016 (UTC)
        • Think I'll do a quick run-through after Brandon. Great Job, Cwedin! Nivlacanator(talk) 22:36, April 2, 2016 (UTC)
          • Haven't looked at this yet (sorry!), but as it turns out, the Duros in Poe Dameron IS indeed L'ulo. So he'll likely be recurring for awhile now. - Brandon Rhea(talk) 17:31, April 6, 2016 (UTC)
            • Yup, I just picked up a copy. I'll try to keep the article maintained with each issue's release (life allowing). :P - Cwedin(talk) 17:39, April 6, 2016 (UTC)


Shara Bey

(1 Inqs/6 Users/7 Total)

(Votes required: 2 Inqvotes required to reach minimum. No additional user votes required to pass, please consider reviewing another article.)

Support

  1. Cevan IMPpress (talk) 16:37, April 2, 2016 (UTC)
  2. TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders AnilSerifoglu (talk) 02:56, April 21, 2016 (UTC)
  3. Cwedin(talk) 03:08, April 21, 2016 (UTC)
  4. Harshg (talk) 18:50, April 23, 2016 (UTC)
  5. Inqvote IFYLOFD (Talk) 02:38, July 18, 2016 (UTC)
  6. --Lewisr (talk) 00:04, July 24, 2016 (UTC)
  7. The Brave Goldfish (talk) 15:52, October 21, 2016 (EET)

Object

Cevan
  • The opening credits of the third issue of Shattered Empire reveals that Bey and Dameron joined the Alliance prior to the Battle of Hoth, so it may be wise to somehow work that into the first section of the biography. Cevan IMPpress (talk) 16:19, April 2, 2016 (UTC)
    • Good catch. Added. And thanks for adding all those links. Honestly I generally have no idea that half of these pages even exist. - Brandon Rhea(talk) 16:35, April 2, 2016 (UTC)
Floyd
  • "One of the operations Bey undertook was the Beltire Liberation. Seventeen days after the Battle of Endor, Bey flew in a battle in Cawa City on the planet Sterdic IV." Are these two the same thing? If not, I think this could be rewritten to differentiate these better.
    • They're not. I'm not sure how best to rewrite it. Any suggestions? - Brandon Rhea(talk) 03:13, June 7, 2016 (UTC)
  • Seeing some linking issues. I've added some that you missed, but you should give it a once-over.
    • This is generally something I'm bad at since most of the subjects I miss are so minor, so thanks for adding what I (and Cevan, who also helped out) missed. - Brandon Rhea(talk) 03:13, June 7, 2016 (UTC)
  • I haven't read these comics, but Bey seems like she's a relatively major character. As such, the P&T looks very skimpy. IFYLOFD (Talk) 01:36, June 7, 2016 (UTC)
    • She is the main character. This is a comprehensive (if not brief) overview of her personality. This may not be something you can answer without having read the comic, but if you have suggestions for how to expand it then that'd be great. - Brandon Rhea(talk) 03:13, June 7, 2016 (UTC)
      • I would suggest doing another read-through of her comic appearances, and focus specifically on trying to parse through what she says and does to find aspects of her personality. That's usually what I do. No offense, but this reads like you wrote the bio and then kind of did this as an afterthought. IFYLOFD (Talk) 23:21, June 9, 2016 (UTC)
        • Forgot to update here, but I'm working on this. - Brandon Rhea(talk) 16:35, June 20, 2016 (UTC)
          • Shooting to finish this today. - Brandon Rhea(talk) 13:48, July 13, 2016 (UTC)
            • I've expanded the P&T. It's somewhat redundant to information throughout the article (which was why I kept it brief in the first place), but hopefully I've written it in such a way that makes up for that. - Brandon Rhea(talk) 19:05, July 14, 2016 (UTC)
Exiled Jedi
Toprawa
  • There must be something to put in an Equipment section for an article this long. Weapons, military uniforms (pilot uniform, specifically), devices are things that should be included here.
    • Do you have any standout examples of articles you like where characters who have various uniforms, etc are given good Equipment sections? I'm not entirely sure how to write this section so if you could point me to any examples you like then that'd be great! - Brandon Rhea(talk) 23:42, October 10, 2017 (UTC)
      • This is easier than you're probably making it out to be. Mul Sanaka, FN-417, and Frobb are solid, albeit limited-content, examples. I'd imagine you could probably get a little bit more out of this subject just because it's more extensive. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 23:05, October 11, 2017 (UTC)
        • Added this section. I think I've gone as detailed as I can. For example, I can't find a frame where I can make out what kind of blaster pistol she wears. - Brandon Rhea(talk) 21:20, October 23, 2017 (UTC)
  • Citing the third bullet point of Wookieepedia:Layout Guide#External links, SW.com Blog posts only need to be listed if they are of critical relevance or are cited in the course of the article. None of these are being cited, and I don't see that any of them are critical. We can tell the difference mostly by who is writing them. If they are from Star Wars authors or prominent Lucasfilm employees giving certain continuity or developmental insight into a subject, they are relevant; if they're just "Top 10 lists" or opinion blogs from fans, which these are, they are not critical. Therefore, they should be removed. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 17:55, October 4, 2017 (UTC)
    • I removed three of them, but I would like to make the case for the one that I kept. The franchise is generally based on fathers and sons. Mothers and their legacy aren't something that have been explored as much, at least not in canon, so I think highlighting Shara as a mother who plays a pivotal role in the saga provides a unique angle that's worth linking. What do you think? - Brandon Rhea(talk) 23:42, October 10, 2017 (UTC)
      • I would probably have no issue with its inclusion if it was even written by an actual Star Wars author. As I said, that's the elemental crux of "critical relevance," something that supplements article content by giving official insight into the story's creation. Like if the author of these comic stories wrote a blog about how she created this character as a way of touching on a literary element not as well explored in Star Wars. But that's not what this is. This is a fan's unofficial, subjective take on storytelling, and we're not here to highlight fan analyses. Her perspective isn't any more critical or important than anything someone might write for Fandom.
SE
  • "Shara Bey was born some time prior to the Galactic Civil War and grew up during the reign of the Galactic Empire." Can you give a date for the start of the Galactic Civil War here?
  • Likewise for the Battle of Hoth in the same paragraph. Supreme Emperor (talk) 06:13, November 10, 2017 (UTC)

Comments

The article has been updated to include new information from Star Wars: Poe Dameron: Flight Log. - Brandon Rhea(talk) 20:34, December 1, 2016 (UTC)

  • The reason I bring this up here is because it was added long after I voted in support, but I notice someone has added Rampant Squadron to her affiliation list however it's not mentioned in the main article. Does flying assist for a squadron make her a part of that squadron? Seems better to remove that from the infobox --Lewisr (talk) 13:06, June 9, 2017 (UTC)
    • Flying assist would not make her part of that squadron, no, so I removed it from the infobox. I did, however, add the fact that she flew assist into the Biography. - Brandon Rhea(talk) 15:24, June 9, 2017 (UTC)

This article has been updated to include new information from Star Wars Battlefront II. - Brandon Rhea(talk) 23:25, November 14, 2017 (UTC)


Rescue of Tseebo

  • Nominated by: Brandon Rhea(talk) 03:33, April 5, 2016 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: I think I started writing this 8 or 9 months ago, but I got super lazy with it. So I'm glad it's finally finished. Thank you to Cevan for giving it a once-over and link check before I posted this nomination. - Brandon Rhea(talk) 03:33, April 5, 2016 (UTC)

(1 Inqs/4 Users/5 Total)

(Votes required: 2 Inqvote(s) required to reach minimum. No additional user votes required to pass, please consider reviewing another article.)

Support

  1. Harshg (talk) 10:20, April 5, 2016 (UTC)
  2. TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders AnilSerifoglu (talk) 14:00, April 5, 2016 (UTC)
  3. Lewisr (talk) 00:19, June 1, 2016 (UTC)
  4. Seems I forgot to actually put my name down for supporting this nomination, but here it is now. Cevan IMPpress (talk) 21:20, July 28, 2016 (UTC)
  5. Inqvote 1358 (Talk) 22:39, October 27, 2017 (UTC)

Object

Ecks Dee
  • Question: Do you think a better image could be found for the infobox? Maybe one with more action?
    • I had tried to find another one but the relevant, infobox-worthy images for this episode are limited. I could use another opinion, though, so want to to take a look at the Empire Day and Gathering Forces episode guide and let me know if you have any suggestions? - Brandon Rhea(talk) 16:59, September 29, 2017 (UTC)
      • Maybe an image of the rebels handing off Tseebo to Fulcrum. - Imperial Information Office AV-6R7Crew Pit 17:17, September 29, 2017 (UTC)
        • I would definitely want to see that image. Won't hold up the nomination for this, though. 1358 (Talk) 19:14, October 2, 2017 (UTC)
          • There's no image of the handoff itself. Just Hera and Tseebo standing in an airlock while Ahsoka's ship docks. - Brandon Rhea(talk) 07:17, October 17, 2017 (UTC)
            • I'll concede, then. 1358 (Talk) 19:54, October 17, 2017 (UTC)
  • Another question: Do you feel like it's really necessary with having a main bullet and a sub-bullet for the Inquisitor, Tseebo, and Tano in the Strength section of the infobox? I feel like you could just go with one top-level bullet for each. Using sub-bullets makes sense for groups with more than one individual/vehicles/etc, but I don't think they add anything in this case.
    • I've seen that used in the past for consistency's sake but I'm fine removing it. Done. - Brandon Rhea(talk) 16:59, September 29, 2017 (UTC)
  • The word "rescue" is used three times in the first two sentences; any chance of some variation here?
  • The term "the rebels" is also overused in the intro. Would it be possible to name the Spectres and then use their name in some places?
    • Changed some of it up. I tend to avoid using Spectres in articles because it's the name that Wookieepedia has decided should be its primary name, but there's no clear official name for the group that I've seen. - Brandon Rhea(talk) 16:59, September 29, 2017 (UTC)
  • "the city was locked down after the rebels bombed an Empire Day parade." This feels a bit disjointed. When did the bombing happen? During the escape? Please connect this better to the rest of the intro.
  • "The rebels eluded the ISB Agent and escaped onto the Ghost, whose pilot and captain, Hera Syndulla, rescued her crew from the Imperial pursuit." This is a bit unclear. Did they first make their way onto the Ghost and then Syndulla arrived to rescue them? The body makes it sound like Syndulla arrived in the Ghost just in time to save the day. Maybe something like "Eluding the ISB Agent, the rebels were rescued from Imperial pursuit by the arrival of Hera Syndulla..." would make this clearer?
  • "The Ghost escaped, but" Escaped where?
  • Since I'm not familiar with SWR... did the rebels eventually do anything with Tseebo's data that could be mentioned in the intro?
    • Not that we know of at this point. It was given to Ahsoka and it hasn't come back up yet. The implication is that the rebellion used it for further mission targets but that's never been made explicitly clear. - Brandon Rhea(talk) 16:59, September 29, 2017 (UTC)
  • "and the information he received in the headpiece overwhelmed his mind." I'm not exactly sure what's being said here? It almost sounds like he went insane. Can you clarify this a bit?
  • "as the Jedi hunter suspected that the Ghost would be waiting to rendezvous with its crew. As the Grand Inquisitor prepared to chase them" Two consecutive (even if they're in different sentences) that start with "as the". Please vary.
  • I believe mentions such as "the ISB Agent" should not capitalize the title of agent; "Agent Kallus" is fine but Kallus' DB entry doesn't seem to capitalize "agent" when it's used on its own.
  • Halfway there. 1358 (Talk) 17:03, September 17, 2017 (UTC)
  • Re: date reference — can we actually know for sure it takes place in 4 BBY? "A Princess on Lothal" is the first known episode to take place in 3 BBY, but is there anything saying the rescue mission couldn't have taken place earlier in 3 BBY?
    • One of the oldest tweets referring to dating in canon places Episode I as year 0, Rebels as beginning in year 27, and Episode IV as being year 32. Spark of Rebellion takes place in 5 BBY, 14 years after Episode III. The events of Empire Day/Gathering Forces marks the 15th anniversary of the rise of the Empire, moving the series into 4 BBY. - Brandon Rhea(talk) 23:08, October 8, 2017 (UTC)
  • 4 BBY isn't linked anywhere outside the infobox right now.
  • <s>Is there a typo in the Prelude quote? "Half of its encrypted" Or is this from official subtitles or something?
  • The Spectres should be named in the body as well. They're intro-exclusive right now.
  • "Meanwhile, the Ghost crew tended to their damage, including Chopper" This sounds a bit like Chopper was also tending to the damage.
    • Fixed. Let me know if you want that refined any further. - Brandon Rhea(talk) 23:08, October 8, 2017 (UTC)
  • "Tseebo proved to be of further use when he detected the tracker on the hull of the Phantom, and the once-again functional Chopper scanned the ship and found the tracker on the shuttle." Why did Chopper need to find it when Tseebo already located it to the hull? I think Tseebo's method of discovering the tracker probably needs some elaboration here.
    • Clarified. - Brandon Rhea(talk) 23:08, October 8, 2017 (UTC)
      • Do we know exactly how he detected it, though? Or was it some sort of deus ex machina that isn't explained? 1358 (Talk) 08:25, October 10, 2017 (UTC)
  • I feel like the Aftermath section is a bit too long; I feel like you could condense Ezra's adventures in the Jedi temple as they're not directly relevant to the rescue mission. 1358 (Talk) 19:53, October 4, 2017 (UTC)
    • I disagree that it's not directly relevant. The events of that episode/the Jedi Temple are a direct result of Ezra's encounter with the Inquisitor in "Gathering Forces." How would you recommend trimming it? - Brandon Rhea(talk) 23:09, October 8, 2017 (UTC)
      • I feel like the second and the third paragraphs could be combined and some of the details could be left out. You could probably summarize it while keeping the core: He went inside, had visions, met Yoda, confronted his fears, got a crystal. 1358 (Talk) 08:25, October 10, 2017 (UTC)
  • Any reason why the Imperial admiral and commandant aren't listed in the infobox Commanders field?
    • I kept it to the Grand Inquisitor (who led the Jedi chase, the admiral was his subordinate) and Kallus (who led the ground portion, the commandant was his subordinate) since they were the overall commanders. I guess it depends, how deep should that section go? - Brandon Rhea(talk) 20:25, October 17, 2017 (UTC)
      • Fair enough. 1358 (Talk) 19:12, October 21, 2017 (UTC)
  • On a second look, the intro seems quite long, three big paragraphs for a relatively short article. Do you think it could be cut down somewhat? At a cursory glance, things like vehicle designations can be left for the body and the context on the info in Tseebo's headpiece seems a bit excessive. If the total size of the intro would be around the size of the two first paragraphs, that'd be perfect. 1358 (Talk) 20:17, October 17, 2017 (UTC)
  • Intro: "The rebels discovered Tseebo, a Rodian who defected from the Imperial Information Office, whose AJ^6 cyborg construct headpiece contained critical information about the Empire's plans for the Outer Rim Territories." This sounds like the IIO's headpiece contained information. I'm assuming it's meant to be Tseebo's headpiece.
  • " the Empire held a parade in Capital City, bringing out many military vehicles, officers, and soldiers, including an experimental TIE Advanced v1 starfighter." This kind of implies the TIE is a soldier. Please reword.
  • Please go through the entire article and ensure ship classes and similar are properly sourced. I don't think most of them can be sourced to the episodes.
  • "Syndulla brought Tseebo to the airlock, where his mind was clearer after Bridger had forgiven him." Not exactly sure what's being said here. Was his mind suddenly cleared upon entering the airlock?
  • You have two very similar sentences that essentially read "The Inquisitor disarmed him, however, [...]" very close to each other. Can we have some variation here?
  • "The boy was granted a kyber crystal, a rite of passage for a Jedi, which he used to create his own lightsaber." What's the rite, receiving a crystal or constructing the lightsaber? In any case, this needs to be reworded as it currently sounds like he used a Jedi to create a lightsaber.
  • The two last sentences in the Aftermath (actually really the entire last paragraph) are kinda clunky. See if you can do something about the flow there, or let me know and I'll have a shot at it.
  • Could we have some dates in the Bts? Release month is probably enough for the two episodes. 1358 (Talk) 22:12, October 24, 2017 (UTC)
  • The cybernetic headpiece model name is currently intro-exclusive. I'd recommend you find a source for the name instead of pipelinking the thing, as it's very relevant to the subject of the article. 1358 (Talk) 22:29, October 27, 2017 (UTC)

Comments

J'Quille

  • Nominated by: Ayrehead02 (talk) 10:24, April 9, 2016 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: When I started writing up this article I did not realise Tim Dry had written an entire book about it.

(2 Inqs/3 Users/5 Total)

(Votes required: 1 Inqvote(s) required to reach minimum. Additional 1 user or 1 Inq vote required to pass.)

Support

  1. JorrelWiki-shrinkableFraajic 16:42, June 11, 2016 (UTC)
  2. Cevan IMPpress (talk) 00:38, October 30, 2016 (UTC)
  3. Awesome! - Pyke syndicate AV-6R7Crew Pit 17:35, February 7, 2017 (UTC)
  4. Inqvote Thanks for your work on movie character articles! Imperators II(Talk) 19:14, September 26, 2017 (UTC)
  5. Inqvote 1358 (Talk) 18:02, October 9, 2017 (UTC)

Object

Jorrel
  • "Early in the war, the Whipid witnessed the Sith Lord Darth Vader visiting Jabba in order to request the services of the Hutt's best bounty hunters, but was expelled from Jabba's throne room along with the rest of the court so that the pair could speak in private." - Reads a bit awkwardly. Maybe split into two sentences? JorrelWiki-shrinkableFraajic 15:10, June 11, 2016 (UTC)
Exiled Jedi
  • Per FAN rule 9, this article cannot have any redlinks.--Exiled Jedi (talk) 02:57, October 4, 2016 (UTC)
    • Fixed. Ayrehead02 (talk) 12:03, October 4, 2016 (UTC)
      • It looks like another one was added since you fixed the earlier ones.--Exiled Jedi (talk) 02:37, November 6, 2016 (UTC)
        • Damn I was hoping someone else would do that before an objection was made. Oh well, after an entire Sunday morning 'tis done. Ayrehead02 (talk) 11:17, November 6, 2016 (UTC)
AV
  • According to Pablo, 100 Scenes is actually pre-Story Group; that source will have to be removed and the article updated to say the updated Char Encyclopedia was the first ID. - Pyke syndicate AV-6R7Crew Pit 14:41, February 7, 2017 (UTC)
    • My internet is finally fixed! And so is this article! Good times. Ayrehead02 (talk) 17:13, February 7, 2017 (UTC)
Imperators II
  • The backup links for the Whiphid and Saelt-Marae DB entries need to be fixed.
    • Fixed them, although I can't get the id=bts field to work. Ayrehead02 (talk) 18:13, September 4, 2017 (UTC)
      • That was because the functionality of including the "id" parameter in the backup link was not present in the DB template at the time. I tried adding it, but it still didn't work. :P Imperators II(Talk) 19:11, September 4, 2017 (UTC)
  • Any way to restore the "Sean Crawford's website" link? Imperators II(Talk) 16:27, August 31, 2017 (UTC)
    • Done and added the proper webcite template. Ayrehead02 (talk) 18:13, September 4, 2017 (UTC)
  • Jabba's full name in the infobox can't be sourced to the ROTJ. I urge you to take this as an opportunity to double-check whether all the other proper names and terms in the article are properly referenced.
    • Fixed and checked through and everything looks good to me. Ayrehead02 (talk) 21:31, September 4, 2017 (UTC)
      • I pipelinked the Alliance to the Rebel Alliance, I hope that's still supported by the referencing?
  • Vader's dating ref needs some more work. It needs thorough linking and some restructuring, since it awkwardly uses two clauses with "as" in the same sentence.
    • Changed it up a bit. Ayrehead02 (talk) 21:31, September 4, 2017 (UTC)
      • OK, as I understand it from the note, the Galactic Atlas establishes a "no later than" date of 0 ABY for Vader's visit to Tatooine. The other thing needed, then, is a "no earlier than" date of 0 ABY for that visit. I take it that's established by Darth Vader 1 (btw, what kind of lame comic title and subtitle combination is Darth Vader 1: Vader? :P), but is the comic explicitly set in the year 0 ABY, or is just "after the Battle of Yavin"? If it's the latter, you should add a source in that explains what "0 ABY" means and therefore why everything happening after Battle of Yavin must be ABY. Imperators II(Talk) 10:58, September 5, 2017 (UTC)
        • Galactic Atlas, as our only actual source of dates also establishes that, which I've added in. God to I miss the far more regular official dating of events in Legends. Ayrehead02 (talk) 19:18, September 5, 2017 (UTC)
          • Legends articles still need writing up, Ayre. :P Imperators II(Talk) 19:14, September 26, 2017 (UTC)
  • "The Rebels arrive" section needs an image. (Look at the article in the Oasis skin.)
    • Added 2. Ayrehead02 (talk) 21:31, September 4, 2017 (UTC)
      • Nice! Can you please vary the captions of either the Vader pic or the Leia pic so that they're not so similar?
        • Ah good point. Done. Ayrehead02 (talk) 19:18, September 5, 2017 (UTC)
  • The ref for 4 ABY needs to be expanded into a note since it doesn't mention J'Quille... you know the drill.
  • In the intro you say Vader's visit happened "early in the war" but there's nothing in the article's body that supports this.
    • Changed to the year. Ayrehead02 (talk) 21:31, September 4, 2017 (UTC)
  • Unless it's stated in canon that J'Quille was also subjected to B'omarr's practices, I don't really see how the mention of those practices is relevant to the character. Imperators II(Talk) 19:11, September 4, 2017 (UTC)
    • It seems like important context for the order, but I've removed it for now. Ayrehead02 (talk) 21:31, September 4, 2017 (UTC)
  • Please create a category for members of the B'omarr Order. Imperators II(Talk) 19:40, September 4, 2017 (UTC)
  • Please add {{Imagecat}}.
  • Did Vader ask for two specific bounty hunters or just the two of the best?
    • It actually isn't that clear. It cuts off before he actually asks Jabba, and then when the hunters show up Vader just says you're the best Jabba has to offer. Ayrehead02 (talk) 19:34, September 25, 2017 (UTC)
      • Well, if it's just two dudes showing up and Vader saying they're the best, I don't really think you should say Vader asked specifically for "two of the best". For all we know, he just asked for bounty hunters. Imperators II(Talk) 19:51, September 25, 2017 (UTC)
  • Wouldn't "ordered the execution" be more appropriate than "demanded" (both in intro and article's body)?
  • Solo's profession is intro-exclusive. So is Chewbacca's status as Solo's companion. Imperators II(Talk) 10:58, September 5, 2017 (UTC)
Toprawa
  • The intro is 369 words long, while the Bio is 787. That's 47% of the Bio's length. For an article this size, that's way too long of an intro. I'd suggest opening this article up in Oasis skin to get a better idea of what most of our readers are seeing. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 00:46, September 16, 2017 (UTC)
    • Cut it down, is that enough? Ayrehead02 (talk) 09:53, September 16, 2017 (UTC)
      • It's good, but I'd probably recommend cutting out the part about being present for Vader, which isn't a major detail. That will make it easier to combine the rest of that paragraph with either the end of the first or the beginning of the last. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 00:23, September 17, 2017 (UTC)
  • I think it would be better for the infobox to use the Force Collection image of J'Quille as this article's main image. It's definitely a better profile picture of the character. The only issue is whether we can get a large enough version (250px minimum). Hopefully a tablet would give us higher resolution than a phone. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 17:32, October 14, 2017 (UTC)
    • Sadly I don't have access to a tablet, do you know any users who do? Ayrehead02 (talk) 09:18, October 15, 2017 (UTC)
Ecks Dee
  • "the Whiphid truly served as a spy for Lady Valarian, a rival of the Hutt with whom J'Quille had an affair." He had an affair with Jabba?
  • You use "J'Quille sat in one of the throne room's booths" and then in the next paragraph "J'Quille later sat in another of the throne room's booths", can we maybe have some rewording here?
  • Good job. I'm a big fan of the Bts. 1358 (Talk) 21:31, October 8, 2017 (UTC)

Comments

  • I could not find the ISBN for Tim Dry's book anywhere and I'm not sure one even exists since it's only an ebook. I've included the ASIN instead since I wasn't sure what to include, but if it needs removing then let me know. Ayrehead02 (talk) 10:27, April 9, 2016 (UTC)


Malakili

(0 Inqs/5 Users/5 Total)

(Votes required: 3 Inqvote(s) required to reach minimum. No additional user votes required to pass, please consider reviewing another article.)

Support

  1. Nice work. - AV-6R7Crew Pit 18:39, August 12, 2016 (UTC)
  2. The Brave Goldfish (talk) 21:55, October 25, 2016 (EET)
  3. Cevan IMPpress (talk) 01:10, October 29, 2016 (UTC)
  4. Never expected this guy to have such a life --Lewisr (talk) 01:12, October 29, 2016 (UTC)
    • Probably one of my favorite background characters in the whole saga, and a great article to go along with him! --Jabot164 21:23, November 23, 2016 (EST) (Vote struck per policy: User has not made 50 main namespace edits -- Darth Culator (Talk) 18:36, January 8, 2017 (UTC))
  5. --Lelal Mekha The Uprising crest (Audience Room) 20:13, September 22, 2017 (UTC)

Object

AV
  • Star Wars: Absolutely Everything You Need to Know confirms that Pateesa was a male rancor; as such, this should be mentioned in the article and all instances of "it" in reference to Pateesa should be changed to a male personal pronoun. - 17:56, August 12, 2016 (UTC)
Ayrehead
  • The article is going to need a update due to Star Wars: Complete Locations (2016). The book still claims that Malakili and Porcellus start up a restaurant in Mos Eisley after the rancor's death. It also shows his room which should probably be mentioned in some way, perhaps its location in the castle at least. Ayrehead02 (talk) 13:56, October 9, 2016 (UTC)
    • Alright, thanks for the heads up! (again) - Cwedin(talk) 16:18, October 9, 2016 (UTC)
Cevan
  • A canon page will need to be made for mayor. Cevan IMPpress (talk) 23:37, October 28, 2016 (UTC)
LelalMekha
  • The Force Awakens: Head-to-Head has a few elements you should add to the article: he weighs 95 kilograms and is described as an antisocial who only shows tenderness and sympathy towards animals. He felt sorry for the rancor's brutal existence, and planned to one day escape with the beast. --Lelal Mekha The Uprising crest (Audience Room) 09:11, April 3, 2017 (UTC)
    • Thanks for finding that! At this rate, Lucasfilm might as well make Malakili: A Star Wars Story. - Cwedin(talk) 20:22, April 3, 2017 (UTC)
Ecks Dee
  • Preliminary objections: Do we really need to employ a scroll box for the Notes and references? There's no scrollbar at all in Monobook and the LG recommends no scrollbox with less than 40 references.
    • Not needed at all.
  • The External links sections appears a bit overpopulated. Not every cursory mention on SW.com requires listing. See if you can cut it down to the most relevant stuff.
    • Done.
  • Instead of listing just "Star Wars: Card Trader" in the Sources, you should use {{Topps}} and list individual cards.
    • I didn't see Card Trader in the sources, but I checked out the app and found a few relevant cards to add.
  • Do we really need to include (Formerly) in the infobox? From our point of view, everything happened a long time ago.
    • Totally agree.
  • Can you cut down on the intro a bit? It's quite long for an article with just two Bio sections.
    • Done.
  • No quote for "Beastmaster for the Hutts"?
    • There aren't any quotes directly relating to Malakili, but I've added a quote regarding Pateesa's death.
  • The first half of the Bio is really emdash heavy. Emdashes are useful but should be used sparingly as they break the flow of the text. See if you can remove at least some of them. 1358 (Talk) 20:03, September 22, 2017 (UTC)
    • I've gone ahead and cleaned up the second half as well. - Cwedin(talk) 01:31, October 3, 2017 (UTC)
  • "the sheriff formed an alliance with a group of Tusken Raiders." Who is "sheriff" referring to here?
    • It's referring to Vanth. I've added more context.
      • It's still not really clear in the intro. 1358 (Talk) 19:37, October 23, 2017 (UTC)
        • How about now?
  • "After Malakili's stay in Freetown, he was reunited with Porcellus, the former head chef of Jabba's Palace." This is a bit poorly worded. His stay came to an end because he was reunited with Porcellus, right? The departure happened as a consequence of the reunion, not "after" it.
    • That's not necessarily the case. Complete Locations maintains the Legends event of Malakili and Porcellus opening a restaurant, but the Aftermath books make no mention of it. We don't really know why Malakili left Freetown or when he met with Porcellus.
      • The "eventually" you added does the trick.
  • I feel like the fourth and fifth paragraphs of "Finding purpose" could be condensed; they feel very PBP at times. You don't need to describe every single line uttered in the encounter.
    • I've culled the heck out of it.
  • The sheriff issue from above is present in the body as well. Law enforcement doesn't automatically mean sheriff.
    • Fixed.
  • The S&A section could probably accommodate an image; maybe one of the creatures/species he trained? 1358 (Talk) 17:57, October 10, 2017 (UTC)
    • I've thrown a rancor pic in there. - Cwedin(talk) 04:35, October 19, 2017 (UTC)
  • I feel like the bio could use another section break. Maybe right before the sentence that starts with "In 5 ABY,"?
    • Done. The books don't have any quotes for that section, so I might throw in another line from Jabba.
  • Mos Pelgo could probably use a word or two of context.
    • Done.
  • In the same sentence, it's a bit unclear whether he made it all the way to Mos Pelgo or if he was found on the way there.
    • Fixed.
  • Do we ever learn how that Red Key encounter ended? Did they chase them out of Freetown? Some closure would be nice.
    • Nope. The story just ends with Vanth confronting Movellan.
  • You have two clauses with "Malakili believed" in the PT (even though they're in different paragraphs), maybe a synonym could be used.
    • Changed believed to thought.
  • "Vanth asked Malakili if he could train a Huttlet, and Malakili replied that Hutts were sentient beings, not pets." This sentence could be rewritten from Malakili's perspective instead of describing his reply: "Malakili considered the Hutts sentient beings, not pets..."
    • Done.
  • Can ROTJ's release date be sourced to The Making of Return of the Jedi? 1358 (Talk) 19:37, October 23, 2017 (UTC)
  • The PT needs some restructuring. Right now it reads more like a recounting of his biography, save for the last paragraph, which neatly collects his Hutt dealings in one place. If I may suggest:
    • Paragraph 1: Physical description, feelings towards animals (mostly what you have right now but move the sarlacc stuff here as well)
    • Paragraph 2: His apparent crippling depression and feeling of uselessness. I recommend you move sentence 2 (and 1?) from paragraph 3 here as well.
    • Paragraph 3: Seems pretty good, except I see what I said about paragraph 2.
    • Paragraph 4: Good as is.
    • Let me know what you think. This is of course by no means the way to do it, just a way. 1358 (Talk) 23:01, November 6, 2017 (UTC)
      • I like your suggestions, and I've updated the section with them. - Cwedin(talk) 00:14, November 13, 2017 (UTC)

Comments

Rys

  • Nominated by: Ayrehead02 (talk) 18:39, August 31, 2016 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: Apparently I can't count

(1 Inqs/4 Users/5 Total)

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Support

  1. Cevan IMPpress (talk) 21:45, October 27, 2016 (UTC)
  2. Emperor Jarjarkine MP-Mandalorian Senate Hall 21:57, October 27, 2016 (UTC)
  3. Eddiebox28 (talk) 17:41, December 30, 2016 (UTC)
  4. Nice work! - Pyke syndicate AV-6R7Crew Pit 15:02, February 7, 2017 (UTC)
  5. Inqvote 1358 (Talk) 22:01, September 29, 2017 (UTC)

Object

Cevan
  • Any chance of getting a higher quality and/or larger version of File:Clones fight on Rugosa.png? Cevan IMPpress (talk) 23:13, October 26, 2016 (UTC)
    • I've uploaded an uncropped version of the shot, is that any better? Ayrehead02 (talk) 19:12, October 27, 2016 (UTC)
      • Yeah, that's definitely clearer-looking. Cevan IMPpress (talk) 21:45, October 27, 2016 (UTC)
  • Could you add in that Rys was a clone of Jango at the beginning of the biography section? Also, the info about Rys being born on Kamino will need to have a citation for Episode II or the Clone Troopers Databank entry, and the bit about the Coruscant Guard operating on Coruscant will need to have a citation for something else as well. Cevan IMPpress (talk) 23:13, October 26, 2016 (UTC)
Ecks Dee
  • I'd like to see the intro condensed a bit. The article isn't that long and Rys is only mentioned in the last sentence of the second paragraph of the intro.
    • Done. How's it look? Ayrehead02 (talk) 20:30, September 21, 2017 (UTC)
  • "Rys was assigned as a clone shock trooper" You're assigned to something, not as, so you'll have to change something here. You could say he was assigned to the Coruscant Guard, but this needs some restructuring.
  • "In the year 22 BBY,[4] Rys was one of three clones from the Guard picked to accompany the" I think you should introduce the two other clones here instead of later on.
  • "a moon close to the planet Toydaria." It's been too long since I saw "Ambush", but can this be sourced to the episode itself? If not, Rugosa's DB entry would work.
    • I thought it was in the opening narration but apparently not, fixed. Ayrehead02 (talk) 20:30, September 21, 2017 (UTC)
  • "and as they opened fire on Yoda" This sounds like the clones opened fire on Yoda.
  • Rys isn't even mentioned in the last paragraph of the bio. You'll need to use something like "Rys and his squadmates" or something instead of just "the clone troopers".
  • The IMDb reference requires a backup link.
    • Replaced with a better reference more consistent with other status articles. Ayrehead02 (talk) 20:30, September 21, 2017 (UTC)
  • Nine years since TCW premiered, damn... 1358 (Talk) 19:07, September 21, 2017 (UTC)
    • Sadly there's nothing I can do to change the passage of time. Ayrehead02 (talk) 20:30, September 21, 2017 (UTC)
  • "picked up by Republic forces arriving to reinforce them." The reinforcement part is technically exclusive to the introduction right now—and I don't even remember if the episode established whether they were there as reinforcement or just to pick them up—so you could probably just remove it altogether.
  • Reference 1 talks about his place of birth, but is also used for referencing other things, like his height. You'll need to reword it or use separate references.
  • Reference 6 has some funky italics right now and the SW.com link should probably include a backup link to be on the safe side. 1358 (Talk) 22:18, September 21, 2017 (UTC)
Toprawa

Comments

Lo-Taren

  • Nominated by: Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 05:02, January 11, 2017 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments:I've actually been working on this while on a vacation.

(0 Inqs/5 Users/5 Total)

(Votes required: 3 Inqvote(s) required to reach minimum. No additional user votes required to pass, please consider reviewing another article.)

Support

  1. Cevan IMPpress (talk) 19:55, February 4, 2017 (UTC)
  2. Pyke syndicate AV-6R7Crew Pit 23:01, February 4, 2017 (UTC)
  3. Jim The Lamproid (talk) 06:29, September 21, 2017 (UTC)
  4. <-Omicron(Leave a message at the BEEP!) 02:50, October 19, 2017 (UTC)
  5. Ayrehead02 (talk) 11:11, November 4, 2017 (UTC)

Object

AV
  • Could we get air dates for the episodes mentioned in the Bts? - AV-6R7Crew Pit 17:52, January 29, 2017 (UTC)
    • Yes. Do you think there should only be the US air dates? Or should I include the others? --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 22:38, February 2, 2017 (UTC)
      • US is the standard; they're used in the early episode guides and in Star Wars: The Clone Wars: Episode Guide, so I'd use them. If the subject was from the lost missions, where they only aired on TV in Germany, IIRC, I might use those dates. - Pyke syndicate AV-6R7Crew Pit 22:43, February 2, 2017 (UTC)
  • Are we sure that the Richard Green linked is the same one who voiced Lo-Taren? - Pyke syndicate AV-6R7Crew Pit 19:59, February 4, 2017 (UTC)
    • Huh, I never even thought to check. From what a few stringent Google searches can bring up, Green the voice actor is not the same as the guy who worked on Rebel Assault. I guess I'll make a new page. Interesting, and thanks. --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 21:52, February 4, 2017 (UTC)
Cevan
  • This may not be the easiest thing to do, but a canon page for beach will need to be made. Cevan IMPpress (talk) 15:30, February 4, 2017 (UTC)
    • I created a somewhat barebones article with the sources and appearances I could think of, plus anything related to the obvious beaches, like Kachiro and Scarif. --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 19:07, February 4, 2017 (UTC)
Jim The Lamproid
  • The 'Jedi Temple Archives' of the Season 3 blu-ray reveal four deleted scenes that feature Lo-Taren, all being from Padawan Lost. I've ranked them in chronological order.
    • Lo-Taren is met by the other Trandoshans seen in the episode. He explains the Jedi Padawans jumped him. The other Trandoshans say that Ahsoka must have encouraged the others to put up a fight against their captors. They agree to let the Jedi rest for a 'more satisfying hunt'
    • A Snivvian and Sakiyan are eating fruit. They get spooked and run. Shortly afterwards, Lo-Taren and Ratter arrive at the scene. Picking up their scent, They call to the other Trandoshans.
    • Ahsoka is being watched by Lo-Taren, but before he can get a shot off, she uses the force to smash him into the ground.
    • Jinx and O-mer are being chased by Lo-Taren and Ratter, using their ability to appear almost invisible, an idea scrapped in production. They are sensed through the force, and a fight ensues. Lo-Taren gets his blaster kicked away by Jinx, so the fight escalates into physical combat. Just when it looks like the Trandoshans have the upper hand, the Padawans flip above their heads, and use the force to push them off a cliff. As the padawans make their escape, Lo-Taren and Ratter, clinging to the side of the cliff, are collected by Sochek in a hover pod. Jim The Lamproid (talk) 12:39, September 17, 2017 (UTC)
      • I'm not sure how the deleted scenes are presented, but are the Sakiyan and Snivvian Vadoo and Katt Mol? I'm most certain they are, since according to the Ep Guide they were supposed to be in more scenes, including one where they pair up. Thanks, though. This is good info. I'll add it shortly.--Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 20:24, September 20, 2017 (UTC)
        • Yeah, the Sakiyan and Snivvian are probably the ones you mentioned. Jim The Lamproid (talk) 06:28, September 21, 2017 (UTC)
  • The image captions need full stops. Jim The Lamproid (talk) 19:21, September 20, 2017 (UTC)
    • Nevermind, I know now only full sentences need 'em Jim The Lamproid (talk) 20:05, September 20, 2017 (UTC)
      • Fwiw, the objection is quite valid on this article. :P All the captions in the article are indeed full sentences so they require full stops. Generally if there's a verb in it, it's a full sentence. 1358 (Talk) 20:12, September 20, 2017 (UTC)
        • Huh, not sure why some were and some weren't, but you were right for this one. Just fixed them. Thanks. --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 20:24, September 20, 2017 (UTC)
Ecks Dee
  • Please use {{Topps}} for the Card Trader Sources entry and specify which card(s) the information is from. 1358 (Talk) 19:11, September 21, 2017 (UTC)
    • I'm not sure how it works with Card Trader. It was from one of the in-game Base Series. I don't know if those have a real world equivalency, or if the Base Series get their own articles, or what. --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 12:46, September 26, 2017 (UTC)
      • Check out this forum as well. Assuming it's a card on the app, it should be possible to screenshot it and upload it to the SWCT wiki and link it from here. 1358 (Talk) 13:19, September 26, 2017 (UTC)
        • Yah it's a card on the app. I have it screenshotted, but wasn't sure if Tope was looking for cards outside that specific 2015 set? I'll ask him. Now, I did some eBay searching quick to see if a physical version of the base cards existed, and instead I found a German card game called Star Wars Attax. It seems to be like Card Trader, but with a game element to it. Features Lo-Taren, Garnac, and Lagon too name the trandoshans, and lots of other TCW characters. Did a little more looking, and it contains the new canon films too. I didn't find an article on Wookieepedia, so I'm uncertain as what to do with that card game. As to whether Canon or Legends, it's probably more null-continuity, as its just pictures, but pictures we could use. Don't know what to do with it though. Probably better for a Senate Hall discussion maybe. Noticed this page happens to have a redlink for the game, though. --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 18:57, September 26, 2017 (UTC)
          • We're definitely gonna want to start recording this Attax game since it provides names. For example, it was the first (and only, outside of concept art) source to name the Rebels-exclusive droid R1-D1, who currently doesn't even have an article. - Imperial Information Office AV-6R7Crew Pit 00:53, October 19, 2017 (UTC)
  • The P&T gets extremely repetitive due to similar sentence structure and the lack of alternatives to his name. "Lo-Taren did X. Lo-Taren thought Y." Please vary. 1358 (Talk) 22:52, October 27, 2017 (UTC)
  • "The next day, Lo-Taren continued the hunt on foot but was nearly killed by the Jedi youngling Kalifa when she used the Force to strangle him out of anger while he was distracted. However, Tano allowed the hunter to live." Something I'm missing here. It was Kalifa strangling the guy, yet Tano allowed him to live? Did Tano persuade Kalifa?
    • Yah, she did. Fixed.
  • "alongside two other younglings and a Wookiee" Not really a fan of the linking used here. The Wookiee link in particular is very misleading.
    • Would you suggest not linking their names at this point or rewording it to include their names? --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 23:29, November 5, 2017 (UTC)
      • To be honest I'd recommend naming Chewbacca at least. He's a major character so readers would be interested. 1358 (Talk) 14:16, November 9, 2017 (UTC)
  • "Lo-Taren and the other Trandoshans attempted to defend the fortress." I would mention the other guild members are Trandoshans earlier. I had to go back and click on the links for his comrades to check if you're referring to them or some other people.
    • Okay.
  • An astrographical location for Wasskah (Mid Rim?) would be nice in the bio.
    • Added.
  • "Detaining prisoners" is somewhat redundant phrasing, seeing as detaining basically means imprisoning. 1358 (Talk) 20:12, November 4, 2017 (UTC)
Ayrehead
  • The intro currently makes it sound like Lo-Taren was entirely alone up until the start of the second paragraph, could you reword it to mention that he was with the group? Ayrehead02 (talk) 18:21, October 12, 2017 (UTC)
    • Better?--Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 03:07, October 15, 2017 (UTC)
      • I think you should still mention that he didn't bring her to Wasskah or the island alone, after all he only brought her back to the ship, he wasn't responsible for much after that. Ayrehead02 (talk) 09:16, October 15, 2017 (UTC)
  • I don't think Lo-Taren appearing in Card Trader is really worth mentioning in the BTS and generally you only need to include the 2015 edition cards in the appearances because those are the only ones with text exclusive to the app. Ayrehead02 (talk) 18:21, October 12, 2017 (UTC)
    • Maybe not, so I'll remove it from the BtS. As for the Sources, I'm not sure. He did receive a card of his own. The second to last picture is even sourced from it. --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 03:21, October 15, 2017 (UTC)
      • Is it the only place in canon that it can be sourced too? Ayrehead02 (talk) 09:16, October 15, 2017 (UTC)
        • There's an EU card game called Attax that also features the image. I'm not certain about the card game's canonocity, however, although it does include cards featuring Rogue One and TFA stuff. That image is cut off at the feet, though, and we don't have a page for Attax. The only redlink I found for it was on a Clone Wars magazine issue from before the canon reboot. I think I asked about this card game elsewhere, though I don't recall where. --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 02:35, October 16, 2017 (UTC)
          • Lol I asked that in the section right above this. Take a look at that and let me know your thoughts. --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 02:44, October 16, 2017 (UTC)
            • I assume that since Attax is a Topps product it's released in sets like their normal cards? The set that Lo-Taren is in is only canon if it came out after the re-boot just like any other Topps set. If the card is the only canon source of the image you'll need to make a page for it on the Card Trader wiki to link too. Ayrehead02 (talk) 19:28, October 16, 2017 (UTC)
              • Looking at another card from Lo-Taren's set, it seems that particular set is from 2012, before the reboot. I suppose this means that with it being the current card trader, that image is established in both legends and Canon, so I guess I will need to make a page on the CT Wiki to link Lo-Taren's card too. --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 20:40, October 22, 2017 (UTC)
  • In the "Wookiees versus Trandoshans" sub-section could you re-word the start? The way it's currently written is as though we've already learned that the ship was destroyed. Ayrehead02 (talk) 18:21, October 12, 2017 (UTC)
  • My dating objection from Krix will also apply here. Ayrehead02 (talk) 18:21, October 12, 2017 (UTC)

Comments

Hey, given that Lo-Taren's date of death differs between Canon and Legends, should I mention that in the BtS? --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 09:15, August 17, 2017 (UTC)

  • Well, I, for one, would find such stuff interesting. But only if you can properly source the Legends date, of course. Imperators II(Talk) 21:14, September 24, 2017 (UTC)
    • I'll probably look into it then. --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 12:47, September 26, 2017 (UTC)
      • Added it, as it appears the Fact File put Wookiee Hunt into 21 BBY. Though according to the page for the TCWDate Template, there was apparently an editorial mistake somewhere, as the section for dates said 20 BBY, while the intext date said 21. When the atlas dated Witches of the Mist and Brothers, the authors apparently went with the former date. Wacky. --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 02:57, October 16, 2017 (UTC)


TX-828

  • Nominated by: Cwedin(talk) 05:09, January 19, 2017 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments:

(0 Inqs/4 Users/4 Total)

(Votes required: 3 Inqvotes required to reach minimum. Additional 2 user or 2 Inq votes required to pass.)

Support

  1. Tommy-Macaroni Imperial Emblem (Talk) 19:14, March 7, 2017 (UTC)
  2. I like the see also section, something more articles should use. Ayrehead02 (talk) 07:18, April 25, 2017 (UTC)
  3. I agree. JS-4422 (talk) 10:42, April 25, 2017 (UTC)
  4. Great stuff --Lewisr (talk) 17:28, July 30, 2017 (UTC)

Object

Ayrehead
  • Could you be slightly less vague in the last sentence of the intro? Ayrehead02 (talk) 16:05, January 19, 2017 (UTC)
    • Done.
  • Personally I'd say that the Rodian rebel deserves an article. Ayrehead02 (talk) 16:05, January 19, 2017 (UTC)
  • Will return to finish review later. Ayrehead02 (talk) 16:05, January 19, 2017 (UTC)
    • Sorry for the slow reply, I'd some how failed to follow the page and see you'd responded. Ayrehead02 (talk) 14:38, April 24, 2017 (UTC)
  • You have 0 BBY and 0 ABY referenced to Smuggler's Run in the body, but I'm assuming an explanatory reference will be needed, at least for the former? Ayrehead02 (talk) 14:38, April 24, 2017 (UTC)
    • A note for 0 ABY isn't really needed, but I've added a brief explanation for 0 BBY. - Cwedin(talk) 20:23, April 24, 2017 (UTC)
      • The note explains both well, but I'd just add a mention of Galactic Atlas in since the dating system isn't used in the novel. Ayrehead02 (talk) 20:34, April 24, 2017 (UTC)
  • This is almost certainly going to need an update for Han and the Rebel Rescue. Ayrehead02 (talk) 14:38, April 24, 2017 (UTC)
    • I'm counting on it. I'll update the article with any new information. - Cwedin(talk) 20:23, April 24, 2017 (UTC)
      • Just wanted to make sure you were aware. Weirdly Amazon claims they're going to deliver it to me tomorrow despite it not coming out till May. I assume this is an error, but I'll let you know what needs doing if it does show up early. Ayrehead02 (talk) 20:34, April 24, 2017 (UTC)
Imp-828
  • The Disney citation and the refs using {{Cite web}} all need backup links.
    • I've added backups, but the art portfolio link doesn't seem to produce any images. (Might just be my internet connection, though.)
      • Doesn't seem to work for me, either. Imperators II(Talk) 07:29, October 7, 2017 (UTC)
        • Weird, now it works for me...
  • Did the Empire breed clones on Kamino in Canon? I'm asking this because there's a possibility Torrent was never affiliated with the Republic at all.
    • AFAIK, no canon content has stated that the Empire continued clone production.
      • Still haven't found anything, but I'm keeping my eyes peeled.
  • There should be a category reflecting TX-828 Republic affiliation. Imperators II(Talk) 21:33, September 24, 2017 (UTC)
  • Since Torrent isn't mentioned in the DB clone trooper entry, you'll have to expand that ref into a manual note explaining how the info presented there is connected to Torrent. Imperators II(Talk) 07:29, October 7, 2017 (UTC)
    • Done. - Cwedin(talk) 01:21, October 13, 2017 (UTC)
      • "Jango Fett, who had brown eyes, tan skin, and stood at a height of 1.83 meters" — according to what source? The DB clone trooper entry doesn't say that. Imperators II(Talk) 18:16, October 13, 2017 (UTC)
        • Sorry, I just worded that funny. Should be good now. - Cwedin(talk) 01:29, October 25, 2017 (UTC)
  • "TX-828 and Alecia Beck interrogate patrons on Cyrkon." — this image caption should either specify what establishment the individuals were patrons of or replace "patrons" with a different word. Imperators II(Talk) 12:26, October 27, 2017 (UTC)
    • Changed patrons to civilians. - Cwedin(talk) 03:28, November 6, 2017 (UTC)

Comments

  • Would it be better to say "TX-828" or "Torrent" throughout the article? The book calls him TX-828 in the first half and Torrent in the latter. - Cwedin(talk) 01:21, October 13, 2017 (UTC)


The Dragon

  • Nominated by: AV-6R7Crew Pit 22:41, January 25, 2017 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: I wrote this one over a year ago, but I've updated the comic publication date citations among other changes.

(0 Inqs/2 Users/2 Total)

(Votes required: 3 Inqvote(s) required to reach minimum. Additional 2 user or 2 Inq votes required to pass.)

Support

  1. Cevan IMPpress (talk) 23:46, February 4, 2017 (UTC)
  2. Ayrehead02 (talk) 07:36, September 27, 2017 (UTC)

Object

Ayrehead
  • All three sub-sections of the biography could have relevant quotes. Ayrehead02 (talk) 10:53, May 4, 2017 (UTC)
    • Couldn't find anything. - Imperial Information Office AV-6R7Crew Pit 18:02, July 3, 2017 (UTC)
      • You can move the current bio quote to Imperial retribution and then put Thanoth's quote in issue eleven about using the Dragon's data in legacy. You could also have Doowan's quote about his location in the section Dealing with Doctor Aphra, although if you think it isn't relevant enough that's fine. Ayrehead02 (talk) 09:13, September 24, 2017 (UTC)
        • I don't have my TPB with me at college, so could you post those quotes on my talkpage, please? - Imperial Information Office AV-6R7Crew Pit 22:20, September 26, 2017 (UTC)
  • Looking at it in the wikia skin, you could probably get at least one more image into the body of the article. Ayrehead02 (talk) 10:53, May 4, 2017 (UTC)
  • Just realised you probably need to source the name Arquitens-class light cruiser to something else. Ayrehead02 (talk) 23:46, September 26, 2017 (UTC)
  • Having just worked out the dating for the Leia comics, I'm not sure that you're dating reference has enough info, you're going to need to mention 0 ABY and the Galactic Atlas in there somewhere at the very least. Ayrehead02 (talk) 23:46, September 26, 2017 (UTC)
    • Couldn't find anything concrete, so I've elected to just remove the date until some concocts a citation that can accurately date the comics using some obscure source I don't know about. - Imperial Information Office AV-6R7Crew Pit 00:23, September 27, 2017 (UTC)
Ecks Dee
  • Preliminary objections: The article could definitely use another image, either in the Legacy or the PT.
  • The first sentence in the Bts reads awkwardly due to its two "that was" clauses. Please reword.
  • I definitely recommend you switch the Marvel backup links to IA instead of WebCite. The latter has horrible formatting and should only be used if IA cannot archive the page.
    • When I tried using IA on those Marvel comic pages, I just get back "Page cannot be displayed due to robots.txt" in responce. Looks like we'll have to keep using WebCite. - Imperial Information Office AV-6R7Crew Pit 17:45, October 17, 2017 (UTC)
      • [1] [2] Usually prefixing the URL in question with web.archive.org/web/ shows you a working version. 1358 (Talk) 19:49, October 17, 2017 (UTC)
        • Thanks for that! Replaced. - Imperial Information Office AV-6R7Crew Pit 20:28, October 17, 2017 (UTC)
  • 0 ABY is only mentioned in the intro. It definitely needs to go in the body, and at a quick glance, I wonder if it should be placed in the death field in the infobox as well.
    • Actually, I couldn’t find anything to substantiate that dating, so I’ve removed it. - Imperial Information Office AV-6R7Crew Pit 13:55, October 13, 2017 (UTC)
  • Check your image caption punctuation. 1358 (Talk) 12:04, October 13, 2017 (UTC)
    • Fixed. - Imperial Information Office AV-6R7Crew Pit 13:55, October 13, 2017 (UTC)
      • Keep in mind punctuation goes inside citation marks. I've fixed this for you.
SE
  • "The individual known as "the Dragon" was a male Ortolan who operated as an arms dealer on Anthan Prime, a planet located on the edge of the galaxy's Outer Rim Territories, during the Galactic Civil War. " Can we get a timeframe here? Something to clarify around what time he was operating? Supreme Emperor (talk) 03:41, October 31, 2017 (UTC)
    • Unfortunately, after a certain point in the current run of post-ANH comics, we lose our the capacity to accurately date events. Please see above for more info. - Imperial Information Office AV-6R7Crew Pit 03:52, October 31, 2017 (UTC)

Comments

Karina the Great (Age of the Empire)

(0 Inqs/3 Users/3 Total)

(Votes required: 3 Inqvotes required to reach minimum. Additional 1 user or 2 Inq votes required to pass.)

Support

  1. Harshg (talk) 13:55, January 29, 2017 (UTC)
  2. Awesome work! - Pyke syndicate AV-6R7Crew Pit 17:02, February 10, 2017 (UTC)
  3. Hopefully we'll see her story continued at some stage. Ayrehead02 (talk) 14:12, April 24, 2017 (UTC)

Object

AV
  • Again, US air dates for the episodes.
  • The Geonosis genocide can't be souced to "The Honorable Ones."
    • Forgot to add Ghosts of Geonosis as a reference to the sentence before that. Fixed. - Brandon Rhea(talk) 16:35, February 10, 2017 (UTC)
  • 2 BBY can't be sourced to "Ghosts of Geonosis."
  • Can we get a date for the events of the Darth Vader comic? - Pyke syndicate AV-6R7Crew Pit 15:20, February 7, 2017 (UTC)
    • A timeline has yet to be established for the events of the comics, so there's no date I can put there. The fact that it's after the Battle of Yavin speaks for itself in the text. - Brandon Rhea(talk) 16:35, February 10, 2017 (UTC)
Geonosian queen Imperators
  • Ref 14 needs full, proper formatting and a backup link.
    • How do I acquire a backup link? - Brandon Rhea(talk) 22:58, October 8, 2017 (UTC)
      • You paste the URL of the cited website here and then put the resulting archived page URL in the Cite web template's |archiveurl= parameter, and also add |archivedate= (see the template's documentation). Since I've changed the link, I've done it for you.
  • So I'm looking at Karina's infobox, her homeworld specifically, and ref 1 makes absolutely no sense. Can you maybe add some context to the ref note that explains how "Again: long game" confirms Karina's homeworld as Geonosis?
    • Context added. - Brandon Rhea(talk) 22:58, October 8, 2017 (UTC)
      • It would be even better if the screenshot of that tweet contained more of that conversation, but it's much clearer now anyway.
  • In the first subsection of Biography, you have a date ref note used to reference two whole sentences. Imperators II(Talk) 22:31, September 24, 2017 (UTC)

Comments

Vote to remove nomination (Inq only)

Inqvote Unaddressed objections more than two weeks old. Imperators II(Talk) 22:32, October 8, 2017 (UTC)
Inqvote Exiled Jedi (talk) 22:43, October 8, 2017 (UTC)
    • Objections addressed. I wasn't aware additional objections had been posted. I think we need a better system here. I'm really glad to see folks like Imperators and ecks and EJ going through the nominations page lately, but after months and months and months of Inq inactivity then there needs to be some sort of leniency for writers who may not have seen that objections were posted on their nominations. At the very least, there should be some sort of talk page notice that objections have been posted or that the clock is running out. Ecks did that on my talk page recently for some of his objections and it was very effective. - Brandon Rhea(talk) 22:58, October 8, 2017 (UTC)
      • Please note that this isn't the first time you're finding yourself in this exact same position. While it's very nice of review panel members to remind writers of outstanding objections on their talk pages (I, too, have done that plenty of times), it is ultimately the writer's responsibility to follow what's going on with their nomination. Imperators II(Talk) 09:27, October 9, 2017 (UTC)
        • The others I was aware of and only couldn't get to until later in the game because of what was then a busier-than-normal work schedule. This one, I had no idea objections were posted. If it's the writer's responsibility to follow what's going on with their nomination (which you're not wrong about), then surely it's the Inq board's responsibility to not let nominations sit for over a year? The Inqs have a tendency to throw responsibility onto the writers but skirt their own (present company excepted), and that's the biggest flaw in the system right now. I've even satisfied objections on previous noms only to have the Inq who posted it take months to review the corrections and strike their objections. If Inqs are going to take months or even over a year, I think the Inqs can cut the rest of the site some slack when an arbitrary 2 week deadline isn't met. - Brandon Rhea(talk) 15:45, October 9, 2017 (UTC)


Reklam Station

  • Nominated by: Dr. Porter Resistance starbird (Talk|Contribs) 12:41, January 30, 2017 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: About time I got this finished.

(0 Inqs/3 Users/3 Total)

(Votes required: 3 Inqvotes required to reach minimum. Additional 1 user or Inq vote required to pass.)

Support

  1. -Tommy-Macaroni Imperial Emblem (Talk)
  2. Impressive --Lewisr (talk) 02:44, February 4, 2017 (UTC)
  3. Most impressive Cevan IMPpress (talk) 13:16, February 15, 2017 (UTC)

Object

Cevan
  • Since Reklam Station is a modified construction module, could you reword the beginning of the description section's second paragraph to better reflect that? "The station itself consisted of a large dome-shaped structure identical to that of an Imperial construction module" makes it sound as if it merely looks like a construction module despite it actually being one. Cevan IMPpress (talk) 00:08, February 15, 2017 (UTC)

Comments

G2 repair droid/Legends

  • Nominated by: Pyke syndicate AV-6R7Crew Pit 04:15, February 6, 2017 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: In commemoration for the 30th anniversary of Star Tours.

(0 Inqs/1 Users/1 Total)

(Votes required: 3 Inqvotes required to reach minimum. Additional 3 user or 2 Inq votes required to pass.)

Support

  1. Sorry for the delay. Ayrehead02 (talk) 09:01, September 24, 2017 (UTC)

Object

Ayrehead02
  • Where do the names A4-G2 and G2-7T actually come from? Looking in both sources they're referenced to, the images from their articles aren't named anywhere and I find it odd that both seem to have only first pictured listed in their appearances section. Ayrehead02 (talk) 10:18, May 4, 2017 (UTC)
  • The opening sentence of the BTS seems to talk about a specific G2 not the series in general. Ayrehead02 (talk) 10:18, May 4, 2017 (UTC)
  • "She went on to speculate that a G2's unending stream of conversation was responsible for problems with ships at Sluis Van Shipyards, out of which several ships had flows out of in the past several weeks, only to experience difficulty with one or more primary systems just after leaving the star system." This sentence needs some work, I assume flows out of is meant to just be flown? I'd also suggest changing up the use of several twice in a row. Ayrehead02 (talk) 10:18, May 4, 2017 (UTC)
Imperators goose droid
  • Check your image caption punctuation.
  • Please make the captions of the last two images more varied and interesting.
    • Nothing to be done for G2-7T, but rewrote the latter. - Imperial Information Office AV-6R7Crew Pit 21:33, September 24, 2017 (UTC)
  • The non-canonical appearance in Apperances needs to be moved to a subsection.
  • Hmm, since you don't reference anything to G2 repair droid's CSWE entry, I have to ask if there even is one? If not, you should amend the CSWE listing in Sources to reflect which entries the droid was mentioned in.
    • There is, but IIRC, it is just a copy paste of TEGTD. - Imperial Information Office AV-6R7Crew Pit 21:33, September 24, 2017 (UTC)
  • Amazon backup link, please.
  • Hey, what's with the "in the galaxy" section? Can you rearrange the info so that there's no one-sentence paragraphs? And is there really no info on the last two G2 units mentioned in the section other than their names? Imperators II(Talk) 20:46, September 24, 2017 (UTC)
    • Fixed. The only reason we even have names for those droids is that they literally have them written on the side of their heads. So, no, we have additional context for them. - Imperial Information Office AV-6R7Crew Pit 21:33, September 24, 2017 (UTC)

Comments

EV-9D9

(0 Inqs/1 Users/1 Total)

Support

  1. Cevan IMPpress (talk) 22:37, August 13, 2017 (UTC)

Object

Fred strikes back
  • There's a redlink in the infobox. MasterFredCommerce Guild(Whatever) 06:13, May 13, 2017 (UTC)
    • Actually, I'm trying to get this nomination removed, as it is below 1,000 words, but I'll take care of it. - Imperial Information Office AV-6R7Crew Pit 15:32, May 13, 2017 (UTC)
      • Ah, gotcha. To the GAN.....eventually! MasterFredCommerce Guild(Whatever) 08:15, May 14, 2017 (UTC)
        • It's already a GA, but thanks. Redlink is taken care of. - Imperial Information Office AV-6R7Crew Pit 21:29, May 14, 2017 (UTC)
Imp-9D9
Exiled Jedi
  • Disney Infinity 3.0 lists EV-9D9 in its appearances section. Please check whether she actually appears and if there is any new information for the BTS.--Exiled Jedi (talk) 02:04, October 17, 2017 (UTC)
    • Confirmed, but she seems to just be a placeable NPC in the game's toy box mode. Does this warrant mention in the Bts? - Imperial Information Office AV-6R7Crew Pit 22:01, October 19, 2017 (UTC)

Comments

  • Reintegrating stuff from Beware the Power of the Dark Side! brought it back under, so this will have to be archived. - Pyke syndicate AV-6R7Crew Pit 15:59, February 8, 2017 (UTC)
    • Now sitting at 1,000 words exactly. - Imperial Information Office AV-6R7Crew Pit 21:54, May 17, 2017 (UTC)


Trios

  • Nominated by: Ayrehead02 (talk) 23:48, February 15, 2017 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: Been meaning to re-nominate this for a long time. Credit and thanks to JRT2010 for recent rewrites of some portions.

(0 Inqs/0 Users/0 Total)

(Votes required: 3 Inqvotes required to reach minimum. Additional 4 user or 2 Inq votes required to pass.)

Support

Object

Fred strikes back
  • Could we get just a little context on "War-Faith" in the "Princess of Shu-Torun" section?
    • There really isn't any context to give, the quote on the War-Faith page is the only mention. Ayrehead02 (talk) 09:31, May 14, 2017 (UTC)
      • Should "War-Faith" even be capitalized? It's not in the quote. MasterFredCommerce Guild(Whatever) 07:26, May 16, 2017 (UTC)
        • Like all comic dialogue the whole word was capitalised, but as it was a religion I assumed this would be the correct format. I can change it here and in other relevant articles if you disagree. Ayrehead02 (talk) 11:09, May 16, 2017 (UTC)
          • That seems like sound enough logic to pass until we have it confirmed one way or another. MasterFredCommerce Guild(Whatever) 05:04, May 17, 2017 (UTC)
  • More to come, hopefully tomorrow. MasterFredCommerce Guild(Whatever) 09:13, May 14, 2017 (UTC)
  • I don't understand this: "...questioned the choice to spent time such a militarily insignificant location..." MasterFredCommerce Guild(Whatever) 05:04, May 17, 2017 (UTC)
    • Not sure how I missed this mess, I've fixed the sentence now. Ayrehead02 (talk) 09:59, May 17, 2017 (UTC)
  • Sorry for the delay in striking the objections. MasterFredCommerce Guild(Whatever) 23:38, June 30, 2017 (UTC)

Comments

  • It appears that Trios will be appearing in the main Star Wars comic run in the upcoming future. --Lewisr (talk) 16:55, August 1, 2017 (UTC)
    • I'll make sure I stay on top of any updates that need to be made. Ayrehead02 (talk) 17:13, August 1, 2017 (UTC)
      • Awesome! In case you didn't know, Trios appears in issue 38 out today --Lewisr (talk) 14:31, November 8, 2017 (UTC)
        • Updated as promised. Thanks for the heads up! Ayrehead02 (talk) 01:05, November 10, 2017 (UTC)


Rook Kast

  • Nominated by: Cevan IMPpress (talk) 23:18, February 21, 2017 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: The other canon Kast.

(0 Inqs/3 Users/3 Total)

(Votes required: 3 Inqvotes required to reach minimum. Additional 3 user or 2 Inq votes required to pass.)

Support

  1. You could probably add another picture, but I'll leave it up to you. Ayrehead02 (talk) 21:28, April 25, 2017 (UTC)
  2. Great work! TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders AnilSerifoglu (talk) 01:43, June 7, 2017 (UTC)
  3. Let's hope Kast shows up in rebels --Lewisr (talk) 01:51, June 7, 2017 (UTC)

Object

Some things
  • Any chance you could expand the intro with contextual info and an oveerall summary on her bio?—Jedi Kasra ("Indeed.") 13:48, February 27, 2017 (UTC)
    • I can try shortening and/or reworking it if you'd like, but how's that? Cevan IMPpress (talk) 18:00, February 28, 2017 (UTC)
      • Definitely needs shortening. I can take a pass at it, if you'd like. I strangely enjoy writing intros. >.> - Brandon Rhea(talk) 18:21, February 28, 2017 (UTC)
        • Yeah, I figured as such. If you'd like to have a go at it, be my guest! Cevan IMPpress (talk) 18:54, February 28, 2017 (UTC)
          • I cut it down to remove over-contexualization, so now it mostly just focuses on Kast while giving some basic context. - Brandon Rhea(talk) 19:29, February 28, 2017 (UTC)
            • Thanks Brandon, that looks great! Is that more to your liking, Jedi Kasra? Cevan IMPpress (talk) 19:37, February 28, 2017 (UTC)
              • Objection(s) overridden by Inquisitorius 00:42, September 24, 2017 (UTC)
Ayrehead
  • Could you subsection the body of the article please? Ayrehead02 (talk) 12:23, April 24, 2017 (UTC)
  • Since Rook appears in every issue of Son of Dathomir, I'm fairly certain the correct formatting is to simply list the series articles in appearances instead of all four issues. Ayrehead02 (talk) 12:23, April 24, 2017 (UTC)
AnilSerifoglu
  • Can you please add that Son of Dathomir comics were based on unproduced The Clone Wars episodes? It is very likely that the character Rook Kast originate in those scripts. TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders AnilSerifoglu (talk) 03:01, June 1, 2017 (UTC)

Comments

  • It is only my personal preference, but I agree with Ayrehead02 that the article could use one or two more images. TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders AnilSerifoglu (talk) 03:01, June 1, 2017 (UTC)
    • Added two more images. Cevan IMPpress (talk) 23:43, June 6, 2017 (UTC)


Holdan

(2 Inqs/4 Users/6 Total)

(Votes required: 1 Inqvote(s) required to reach minimum. No additional user votes required to pass, please consider reviewing another article.)

Support

  1. Inqvote Imperators II(Talk) 11:21, April 24, 2017 (UTC)
  2. Looks good to me! Ayrehead02 (talk) 13:40, April 24, 2017 (UTC)
  3. Cevan IMPpress (talk) 23:28, April 25, 2017 (UTC)
  4. Seriously, kudos to people who write RPG articles. The number of possible situations one has to play through to get all possible outcomes is just exhausting for me to think about. MasterFredCommerce Guild(Whatever) 00:30, May 10, 2017 (UTC)
    Hehe, I really was reloading game files like dozens of times for each character to get all possible dialogue options down. :P But then I discovered this which made things much easier, being a complete record of every dialogue as well as all game stats of characters, though for some time being as apprehensive as I was, I was still double-check through my own reloads. I thanked the dude that made that guide profusely, but sadly his KotOR 2 one is still a work in progress. Sol PacificusFirestorm 01:34, May 10, 2017 (UTC)
  5. Just letting you know that Dancer (erroneous link removed during my review) refers to Mara Jade's astromech droid. Otherwise good work. Hanzo Hasashi (talk) 22:07, September 10, 2017 (UTC)
  6. Inqvote Meant to vote on this when I added the audio files and totally spaced. -- Darth Culator (Talk) 18:14, October 21, 2017 (UTC)

Object

Ayrehead
  • One small thing, could you mention that the bounty was 300 credits in the body of the article? The amount is still accurate even if it's never claimed. Ayrehead02 (talk) 12:11, April 24, 2017 (UTC)
    • Done. I wasn't sure if that was the best place to put it though, or if it should've been worded "300 credit bounty" instead. Sol PacificusFirestorm 13:32, April 24, 2017 (UTC)
Toprawa
  • Are there no images to be had for the Biography? There's certainly enough room for one. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 02:49, October 12, 2017 (UTC)
    • Unfortunately, for whatever reason my PC can no longer take screenshots correctly for games. Whenever I do, the picture always come out as a black screen, and I do not know how to fix this. Any way you can help me with this? Sol PacificusFirestorm 03:12, October 12, 2017 (UTC)
Exiled Jedi
  • Have you checked the Prima guide to see if he is mentioned? I have the guide to the second game and a lot of the side quests are referenced in it.
  • Could you include one of the lines of dialogue from Revan's companions as the BTS quote?
  • I don't think it is necessary to have direct quotations for each of the party members in the BTS. I would note which quotes take precedence over others and give a brief description of them in prose.
  • The CSWE states that Revan convinced Holdan to drop the bounty, so the Game Mechanics section should be revised to reflect this. This should also be mentioned in the BTS.
  • The CSWE states that he was active in the years leading up to the Great Sith War, which isn't accurate based on the events of the game. This error should be noted in the BTS.--Exiled Jedi (talk) 23:08, November 10, 2017 (UTC)

Comments

Krix

(1 Inqs/4 Users/5 Total)

(Votes required: 2 Inqvote(s) required to reach minimum. No additional user votes required to pass, please consider reviewing another article.)

Support

  1. Cevan IMPpress (talk) 19:57, August 13, 2017 (UTC)
    Inqvote Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 16:32, August 21, 2017 (UTC)
  2. Nice one! Jim The Lamproid (talk) 15:22, September 22, 2017 (UTC)
  3. Inqvote Good stuff. 1358 (Talk) 16:16, September 24, 2017 (UTC)
  4. Awesome work on all of these Trandoshans! - Imperial Information Office AV-6R7Crew Pit 18:20, September 24, 2017 (UTC)
  5. Ayrehead02 (talk) 08:09, November 12, 2017 (UTC)

Object

Toprawa
  • Reference 5 works, but I think you need to qualify that statement. Leland is saying that [X] starship model from [Legends source] retains the same name in Canon, but you should specify what that Legends source is that names this ship model.
    • How does that note read for you? I was figuring I still needed the template.
      • Yes, that was the gist of what I was looking for. I spruced it up a little bit. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 00:53, August 19, 2017 (UTC)
  • The episode numbers and seasons in the BTS cannot be sourced straight to the episodes themselves. That's not self-sourcing, and the episodes don't give any indication. That needs to be sourced to the episode guides.
    • Ah, alright. Makes sense. Consider it done.
  • Likewise, the archived episode guides don't actually provide airdates. I think they might have at one time, but that information is no longer present. I've advised other nominators recently to source airdate information to the Star Wars: The Clone Wars: Episode Guide, which contains this info in full. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 21:10, August 11, 2017 (UTC)
    • Alright. I wrote them in per your word. For future reference I also ordered a copy of of that book from Amazon. I don't know if it has any useful trivia in it as of now, though. --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 18:45, August 13, 2017 (UTC)
  • I would suggest just removing the quote from the BTS. It's not really illustrating any great point that isn't already being explained better in the section's own wording, and it's kind of a weird, fumbling quote to read anyways.
    • Alright.
  • The article needs to do more to describe the color of his skin than just saying it's blue, because there's obviously a more dominant color there. I'm not sure if you want to call it white or beige or whatever, but that color should be mentioned in the infobox and article body on top of the blue. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 00:53, August 19, 2017 (UTC)
    • How's that? --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 00:41, August 21, 2017 (UTC)
      • Well, firstly, it's probably inaccurate to call it skin; Trandoshans have scales, so I've modified the wording to reflect this. I also think it's kind of redundant to say "light cream," so I've changed it to just call it cream. I'm not sure what you mean by this new sentence you've added: "The skin on his face had a horizontal-stripe pattern." I'm not exactly seeing horizontal stripes. I see blue mottling around his facial ridges. Is this sentence really necessary? Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 01:23, August 21, 2017 (UTC)
        • Mottling is the correct term apparently, but they're still stripe-ish. I figured it would have been better to just be a bit more descriptive, though I suppose the images speak for themselves as far as how the colors are on his skin/scales. --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 14:01, August 21, 2017 (UTC)
          • If you really want to add that in, I would suggest just saying he had cream-colored scales with blue mottling (maybe "striped blue mottling" or "blue striped mottling"?) along his face and body. I'm ok with whatever you choose. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 16:32, August 21, 2017 (UTC)
  • I actually have two more issues. The first, for reference 10, you should specify what part of the home-video release that information is coming from. For example, please see reference 5 here and format accordingly.
  • Secondly, the TCW home-video releases only need to be listed in the Sources list if they have exclusive information pertaining to the article subject. I see the article is referencing Trandoshan stuff to S3, but is there anything actually in this one for Krix specifically? Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 22:54, August 31, 2017 (UTC)
    • Alright, I'l try to get these answered by the end of the week. Jim the Lamproid was kind enough to extend to me the information (see below), so I've asked him if he could grab the specifics.--Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 20:10, September 12, 2017 (UTC)
      • Ok. Added the name of the Bonus Feature featurette to to the note. According to Jim, the featurette doesn't specifically mention any of the Trandoshans by name, but refers to them in broader terms (Like being present). Would that just be an Imo tag then? --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 01:21, September 15, 2017 (UTC)
        • Should probably add that Krix isn't name dropped in the main Season 3 Trando excerpt (Chewie Returns), but he is name dropped in the hidden feature. SO I'm figuring that for the notes the features should be specified, and for the Sources section what exists is fine? Or no? --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 21:49, September 27, 2017 (UTC)
          • Yeah, what you have now is good. Just wanted to leave a final note that I removed the P/T image because there just isn't enough text there to support an image in that section and still look good in Oasis skin. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 02:45, October 3, 2017 (UTC)
Cevan
  • Should Dar's initiation ceremony have its own article? Cevan IMPpress (talk) 19:11, August 13, 2017 (UTC)
    • Eh, I wouldn't think so. I think it'd be like having a page for Aang's birthday, which we don't (Or for the banquet he attended). Given the way the guild seems to be, I imagine all new members of the guild would get an initiation, which seems like something for the page on the guild itself. If that was the case, the only thing different about Dar's is that he was Garnac's son. But even so, I wouldn't think it needs an article (We have articles for funerals, though, so...) --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 19:31, August 13, 2017 (UTC)
      • Sounds good to me. Cevan IMPpress (talk) 19:57, August 13, 2017 (UTC)
Jim The Lamproid
  • The terms 'moved on to' and 'relocated' indicate Krix made Nal Hutta his place of residence, though that wasn't necessarily the case.
    • I agree with "relocated," so I changed that one. I'm not so sure about "moved on to." If I had just said "moved to" then yes, but I think the way it stands makes it clear that Krix just headed to Nal Hutta at some point. I suppose if there was further input on the matter, though.
      • If you don't think that's an issue i've striked the objection. Jim The Lamproid (talk) 21:44, September 15, 2017 (UTC)
  • I think Kirx's cameo in 'FaE' could be expanded on a bit, e.g add Krix was talking with a (Weequay?) outside Bilbousa's saloon. Jim The Lamproid (talk) 16:18, September 15, 2017 (UTC)
    • I considered it, but wasn't sure if it was really worth mentioning, given that the way I worded it inferred he was mingling. But I added the detail anyways, since it fleshes out his FaE appearance a bit more. --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 19:49, September 15, 2017 (UTC)
  • Deleted scenes in the 'Jedi Temple Archives' of the season 3 blu-ray seem to show the Trandoshans as being able to appear almost invisible on command, but the idea was obviously scrapped. Worth a mention?
    • It doesn't seem to apply to Krix specifically, so probably not. Especially given his scene of importance is basically as a Trando Uber-service. Would probably make more sense as info on the Trando's guild page.
  • Do you have the access to the Season 3 DVD? according to its article, there's a commentary by Dave Filoni on the naming of the episode's Trandoshans. Jim The Lamproid (talk) 21:42, September 15, 2017 (UTC)
    • No, not the DVD, which why I've tried to reach out for more info. I imagine the information isn't too different than Wookiee Hunt's episode guide which details the history on some of the Trando names. Would Krix have a history? Also, is that commentary only on the DVD? --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 02:52, September 16, 2017 (UTC)
      • The commentary is only on the DVD. Probably would be good to ask around to see if the commentary mentions Krix. Jim The Lamproid (talk) 22:19, September 16, 2017 (UTC)
        • AV-6R7 has agreed to help once he gets a monitor for his disc player. So hopefully we'll have an answer soon. --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 19:49, September 20, 2017 (UTC)
  • The image captions need full stops. Jim The Lamproid (talk) 19:22, September 20, 2017 (UTC)
    • The Layout Guide stipulates that only image captions that are full sentences get a full stop; thus the punctuation in Krix is correct as it is right now. 1358 (Talk) 19:26, September 20, 2017 (UTC)
Ayrehead
  • You currently have the first use of Krix's name in the bio sourced to Padawan Lost but it needs to be sourced to Wookiee Hunt. Ayrehead02 (talk) 20:26, October 11, 2017 (UTC)
    • Okay, though I was under the impression sourcing the name for the article subject wasn't necessary as long as we used the 1stID tag somewhere, but I often wrong. Fixed!
  • You can't source Clutch's name to Wookiee Hunt. Ayrehead02 (talk) 20:26, October 11, 2017 (UTC)
    • It's in the credits.
      • Ah sorry, I was going off the 1stID on his page. Ayrehead02 (talk) 16:36, October 12, 2017 (UTC)
  • Is it possible to include the quote about Krix's name from Dave Filoni in the BTS? Ayrehead02 (talk) 20:26, October 11, 2017 (UTC)
    • I'll find out and get back to this one.
      • Added. --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 02:11, October 16, 2017 (UTC)
        • The BTS quote is a run-on, which I'm guessing is your punctuation creation, since I don't believe the TCW extras included subtitles. There probably needs to be a period after "I liked Krix". Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 17:41, October 16, 2017 (UTC)
  • I've added audio files for the quotes. If you've got any issues with them then let me know and I'll fix them. Ayrehead02 (talk) 20:26, October 11, 2017 (UTC)
  • It's possible I've just missed it, but where in Galactic Atlas does it date the Battle of Felucia to 20 BBY?Ayrehead02 (talk) 16:36, October 12, 2017 (UTC)
    • I'll admit I was going off of the Battle's own page here. Are you certain it's not in the book anywhere? I'll ask the person who added the source, but if it doesn't work, I believe I know how to rewrite the date note.--Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 02:13, October 16, 2017 (UTC)
      • Okay, with help from Lewisr and AV, how does that Date note appease? --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 02:43, October 16, 2017 (UTC)
        • After cleaning up this reference note from the nominator's original version, I find this new version unsatisfactory. In what way does Galactic Atlas date these two TCW episodes to any year? That book doesn't date episodes (AFAIK); it dates events of episodes (and films), which is why this ref note was worded the way it was. I'd like to know what event Galactic Atlas is specifically referencing that we're extrapolating the episode's date from. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 17:41, October 16, 2017 (UTC)
        • Although Ayrehead has struck this objection, I still consider this completely unresolved and will treat this as a formal objection until this is addressed. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 19:34, October 16, 2017 (UTC)
  • Again, maybe I've missed it, but where in the episode guide are the species of the other prisoners given? Ayrehead02 (talk) 17:47, October 12, 2017 (UTC)
    • It was in the original episode guide. The current one omits that slide. If I'm not mistaken, it was the only source for Morgo's, Vadoo's, and Lika's names. --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 13:42, October 13, 2017 (UTC)
      • Huh I didn't realise any content was removed in the change over. Could you maybe note this in reference somehow? Ayrehead02 (talk) 15:54, October 13, 2017 (UTC)
        • I'm not the best at writing notes, but how is that? --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 02:11, October 16, 2017 (UTC)
          • Wait a minute. What "original episode guide" are you referring to that had these names, and what section of the guide mentioned these names? If you're talking about this, we aren't treating those original episode guides as Canon, which would mean that these characters have never been named in Canon. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 17:41, October 16, 2017 (UTC)
            • I didn't know we weren't counting those anymore. Katt Mol would be the only one still identified if the other three prisoners have no other known mention. I can't imagine the other three would have name changes, so I wonder if that'd be worth asking the story group (And not just them, but any minor character named only in an older guide). --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 08:37, October 22, 2017 (UTC)
              • We are treating the old guides as canon; we ironed this whole situation out just over a year ago. I’ll try to find the relevant SH discussion. - Imperial Information Office AV-6R7Crew Pit 16:06, October 22, 2017 (UTC)
                • Here we are: Forum:SH:Pablo Hidalgo on the canonicity of episode guides. I’d recommend reading the linked thread, since the wording is a little confusing. - Imperial Information Office AV-6R7Crew Pit 16:15, October 22, 2017 (UTC)
                  • Given that, it seems like the prisoner characters would still retain their names, as the paragraph/bullet point introducing them starts with "Also in the original script," indicating all of their names were in the script (Not to mention Vadoo was apparently meant to have a slightly lager role which was apparently shot for the episode). --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 19:48, October 26, 2017 (UTC)

Comments

  • Have you watched the behind the scenes of the 'Wasskah arc' in the season three blu-ray? I seem to recall Kilian Plunkett commenting something regarding Krix's stockier build, that could be used as a quote. Jim The Lamproid (talk) 21:35, August 12, 2017 (UTC)
    • Hm, I hadn't considered those, actually. Do you have it on hand? Otherwise I can probably try to look into it myself. Thanks. --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 18:45, August 13, 2017 (UTC)
      • "There was more of a concious effort to come up - sort of - different silhouettes and shapes and builds" - Kilian Plunkett on the creation of the Trandoshans in Padawan Lost (including Krix)Jim The Lamproid (talk) 21:13, August 13, 2017 (UTC)
      • What I also found of note is that Pat Presley was responsible for the designs of Krix and all other Trandoshans. Jim The Lamproid (talk) 21:27, August 13, 2017 (UTC)
        • Just curious, is that quote missing any words is that how they said it? Also thanks for the information! --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 16:16, August 16, 2017 (UTC)
          • There's more to the quote but I didn't think it was necessary: "When we knew that we were gonna see more Trandoshans, rather than - sort of - take Bossk and revisit that but no do much to it - erm - we saw it as an opportunity to introduce much harder - sort of - reptillian shapes - erm - into the silhouettes that you see, and also just add a little bit more detail in the head so it wasn't quite as soft as the Bossk character turned out to be in Lethal Trackdown. There was more of a concious effort to come up - sort of - different silhouettes and shapes and builds." :) Jim The Lamproid (talk) 18:08, August 16, 2017 (UTC)
            • Alright, thanks. It's just that it looked like a word or so was missing, but then again, sometimes when speaking words are just plum left out sometimes. I was just wondering. Thanks again! --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 06:24, August 17, 2017 (UTC)
              • Oh sorry, I misunderstood your question. It should be 'come up with' rather than 'come up', and no problem, i'm happy to help. Jim The Lamproid (talk) 08:41, August 17, 2017 (UTC)


Ice (duelist)

(0 Inqs/2 Users/2 Total)

Support

  1. No new objections since my GAN review. MasterFredCommerce Guild(Whatever) 08:53, September 5, 2017 (UTC)
  2. Cevan IMPpress (talk) 14:59, September 7, 2017 (UTC)

Object

Comments

Stend VI

  • Nominated by: Imperators II(Talk) 15:50, September 13, 2017 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: Celebrating twenty years of Wretched Hives of Scum & Villainy!

(3 Inqs/0 Users/3 Total)

(Votes required: Additional 4 user or 2 Inq votes required to pass.)

Support

  1. Inqvote 1358 (Talk) 18:48, September 28, 2017 (UTC)
  2. Inqvote Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 21:47, October 11, 2017 (UTC)
  3. Inqvote Exiled Jedi (talk) 18:30, October 21, 2017 (UTC)

Object

Ecks Dee
  • Too many images. :P If you have trouble deciding which ones to keep, I'd recommend you don't remove the colorful ones, because who doesn't love some color on an otherwise black-text-on-white-page monotone hell. 1358 (Talk) 20:09, September 26, 2017 (UTC)
    • Should be good now, at least in Oasis. :P Imperators II(Talk) 20:36, September 26, 2017 (UTC)
      • Much better. Full review coming in the next few $random_timespan. 1358 (Talk) 20:39, September 26, 2017 (UTC)
  • I feel like the star system should be mentioned in the intro; it feels more relevant than the sector, but I guess both is fine too.
    • ...OK, here it makes more sense than on the Volik article. Added. Imperators II(Talk) 22:22, September 27, 2017 (UTC)
  • albeit is a great word, but unlike although, it cannot be used to introduce an independent clause.
    • Switched to although, then.
  • "The Pits' owner, the famed racer Blizz Pinnix, occasionally appeared at Raptor Run; however, since the champion's face had never been seen in public, it was possible Pinnix was present at the cantina at any given moment." Who is "the champion" in this sentence? Pinnix? Please clarify.
    • I left that part as is except for changing "racer" to "racing champion" (and splitting the sentence in two since the two parts aren't really contrasted). Is that clearer? Unfortunately, Pinnix's gender is unknown, which makes the wording a bit more challenging task, kinda like with the RPG player characters.
  • "A zone of hundreds of square kilometers originally designated as an Imperial Ordinance Detonation Test Area, what would eventually become known as Raptor Run was filled with rocky cliffs, canyons and serpentine valleys, as well as labyrinthine jagged paths twisting through them." At what time did the area look like that? It sounds like "in year X, it looked like this, and then later on it became the Raptor Run". If the cliffs and stuff are actually a description of Raptor Run itself, I suggest you leave out the "what would eventually become known as". 1358 (Talk) 21:05, September 27, 2017 (UTC)
    • No date specified; it's just said the area was formerly an Imperial ODTA. I've removed the part you mentioned (good observation, ecks); does it make more sense now? Imperators II(Talk) 22:22, September 27, 2017 (UTC)
Toprawa
  • It doesn't make sense to say that the planet's surface had a moderate hydrosphere, as the hydrosphere is not part of the planet's physical surface. Please revise: "The surface of Stend VI featured mountains, plains, and a moderate hydrosphere..."
  • I definitely think you should create an article for the Tatooine kid who completed Raptor Run. That's a pretty notable accomplishment to merit an article. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 20:18, October 11, 2017 (UTC)

Comments

Stend IV

(3 Inqs/0 Users/3 Total)

(Votes required: Additional 4 user or 2 Inq votes required to pass.)

Support

  1. Inqvote Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 19:17, October 4, 2017 (UTC)
  2. Inqvote 1358 (Talk) 21:10, October 4, 2017 (UTC)
  3. Inqvote Exiled Jedi (talk) 22:53, October 17, 2017 (UTC)

Object

Comments

Attack on Korriban

  • Nominated by: Jace Onasi (talk) 09:15, September 24, 2017 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments:

This is the third time this article has been nominated. I'm optimistic, though I cannot state with certainty as to whether this will be the final attempt.

(1 Inqs/0 Users/1 Total)

(Votes required: 2 Inqvote(s) required to reach minimum. Additional 4 user or 2 Inq votes required to pass.)

Support

  1. Inqvote Nice of you to come back. Imperators II(Talk) 11:45, September 25, 2017 (UTC)

Object

Imperators II
  • Whatever happened to the higher-quality images? Did you ask the uploaders I mentioned on the previous nomination? Imperators II(Talk) 10:06, September 24, 2017 (UTC)
    • JMAS has updated all the images to a higher standard, minus the image in the introduction. Are these improvements sufficient?--Jace Onasi (talk) 06:47, September 25, 2017 (UTC)

Comments

  • I've addressed all of Imperators' objections from the previous nomination.--Jace Onasi (talk) 09:15, September 24, 2017 (UTC)


Pelta-class frigate

(0 Inqs/0 Users/0 Total)

(Votes required: 3 Inqvote(s) required to reach minimum. Additional 4 user or 2 Inq votes required to pass.)

Support

Object

Comments

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