Wikia

Wookieepedia

Wookieepedia:Good article nominations

Talk113
110,044pages on
this wiki

Redirected from WP:GAN

       
Good article
nominations
             
GoodIcon

This page is for the nomination of good articles. This is not a way to showcase the articles of your favorite characters, spaceships, or the like. For a list of Good articles, see Wookieepedia:Good articles.
A Good article is an article that adheres to quality standards, but cannot reach FA status due to its limited content.

READ THIS FIRST!

An article must…

  1. …be well-written and detailed.
  2. …be unbiased, non-point of view.
  3. …be sourced with all available sources and appearances.
  4. …follow the Manual of Style, Layout Guide, and all other policies on Wookieepedia.
  5. …following the review process, be stable, i.e., does not change significantly from day to day and is not the subject of ongoing edit wars. This does not apply to vandalism and protection or semi-protection as a result of vandalism.
  6. …not be tagged with any sort of improvement tags (i.e. more sources, expand, etc).
  7. …have a proper lead that gives a good summary of the topic if the length of the article supports it. This may not be appropriate on articles with limited content.
  8. …have no more than 1 redlink for articles less than 500 words, no more than 3 redlinks for articles 500 words or more, and no redlinks in the introduction, infobox, or any templates.
  9. …have comprehensive detail with all information covered from all sources and appearances.
  10. …be completely referenced for all available material and sources. See Wookieepedia:Sourcing for more information.
  11. …have all quotes and images sourced.
  12. …provide at least one quote on the article if available. A leading quote at the beginning of the article would be preferred, though not required if no quotes are available. Although quotes may be placed in the body of the article, a maximum of one quote is allowed at the beginning of each section.
  13. …ideally include a "Personality and traits" section on all character articles if information is available.
  14. …ideally include a "Powers and abilities" section for Force-sensitive characters and a "Skills and abilities" section for non–Force-sensitive characters, where said powers and/or abilities are stipulated.
  15. …include a "Behind the scenes" section for in-universe articles.
  16. …include a reasonable number of images of sufficient quality to illustrate the article, if said images are available.
  17. …counting the introduction and "Behind the scenes" material, be at least 250 words long (not including captions, quotes, or headers, etc). Alternatively, a good article cannot exceed 1000 words. Articles that do so should be nominated for Featured status.

How to nominate:

  1. First, find an article you find is worthy of good status. Nominated articles must meet all seventeen requirements stated above.
  2. Add {{GAnom}} at the top of the article you are nominating and save the page. NOTE: If the article you are nominating has been nominated for GA one or more times previously, you will need to specify a new subpage name as a parameter in the template (e.g. {{GAnom|Lorum ipsum (second nomination)}}).
  3. Open the redlink (in a new tab or window, if possible) and fill out the form according to the instructions provided.
  4. Copy the code provided to the bottom of this page.
  5. Purge the article to update the template.
  6. Per AgriCorps consensus, nominators are restricted to four nominations on the GAN page at any one time. Once one nomination is removed from the page as either successful or unsuccessful, another can be added.

How to vote:

  1. Before doing anything, be sure to read the article completely, keeping a sharp eye out for mistakes.
  2. Afterward, compare the article to the criteria listed above, and then either support or object the article's nomination.
    • If you object, please supply concrete reasons for doing so, and how it can be improved.
  3. As stated above, any objections will be looked upon by the nominator, supporters, and anyone willing to improve the article, and action will be taken to please the objectors. Do not strike other users' objections; it is up to the objector to review the changes and strike if they are satisfied.
  4. Once a nomination has a total of five votes, with at least three votes coming from AgriCorps or Inquisitorius members—two of which must be AgriCorps votes—after at least a week since it was nominated (beginning the day of its nomination) and no objections (or the objections have been stricken or overridden), the article will be considered a "Good article" and tagged with the {{Eras|good}} template. The talk page will also be tagged with the {{GA}} template. Alternatively, if a nomination receives a total of five AgriCorps/Inquisitorius votes—three of which must be AgriCorps votes—with no outstanding objections before one week has passed, the nomination will be considered successful.
  5. The article is placed on the Good article list.


All nominations will be considered idle and are subject to removal by AgriCorps vote if objections are not addressed after a period of 2 weeks.


Good article nominations

To nominate an article for Good article status, place the {{GAnom}} template on the top of the article and then follow the instructions above. Nominated articles must meet all seventeen requirements stated above. If an article has a total of five votes, with at least three votes coming from AgriCorps or Inquisitorius members—two of which must be an AgriCorps vote—after at least a week since it was nominated (beginning the day of its nomination) and no objections (or the objections have been stricken or overridden), the article will be considered a "Good article" and tagged with the {{Eras|good}} template. The talk page will also be tagged with the {{GA}} template. For complete instructions on archiving nominations please see here.

View recent changes for this page and its subpages

Unidentified Chadra-Fan bounty hunter

  • Nominated by: Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 15:37, January 21, 2014 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: More minor Clone Wars Adventures characters, though no Outcasts this time.

(4 ACs/1 User/5 Total)

Support

  1. ACvote Assuming other objections handled satisfactorily. - Sir Cavalier of OneFarStar(Squadron channel) 09:32, February 27, 2014 (UTC)
  2. ACvote Winterz (talk) 13:08, February 27, 2014 (UTC)
  3. ACvote Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 05:41, March 3, 2014 (UTC)
  4. Inqvote JangFett (Talk) 02:39, March 10, 2014 (UTC)
  5. Ayrehead02 (talk) 14:06, March 14, 2014 (UTC)

Object

Fred strikes
  • I'd rearrange the first sentence of the intro to avoid the comma (which actually doesn't need to be there anyway).
    • Good point.
  • Please don't link parts of words. Instead of "some[[time]]," it should be "[[Time|sometime]]."
    • Whoops, sorry. Fixed.
  • Please reword as to not identify Sing as a Jedi. Calling her a "Jedi bounty hunter" means she is a member of the Jedi Order. I think you mean to say that she was a former Jedi, or that she hunts Jedi. MasterFredCommerce Guild(Whatever) 18:52, February 4, 2014 (UTC)
    • Reworded, though I should point out that throughout the comic the bounty Urdruua posted was for a Jedi. Sing, at the end of the comic, excludes herself as a Jedi ("Such a waste. Now I have to go to find real Jedi to kill."). So I've also tried to make that distinction a bit more clear in the article (So the bounty wasn't for "Former Jedi turned Bounty Hunter"). --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 19:00, February 4, 2014 (UTC)
Winterz strikes
  • Is Urdruua ever referred to as "Urdruua the Hutt"?
    • Mmm, I don't remember anymore. I'll have to double check, but I'll change it for now.
  • You could probably get a synonym for "hired" in the intro's first sentence, instead of recurring to repetition.
    • Changed the second use instead, if that's alright.
  • Regarding your post in the talk page, I suggest you put that request in this page, far more effective and guaranteed to get a reply. ;) Winterz (talk) 00:55, February 16, 2014 (UTC)
    • Well, I had no idea that existed! Thanks, mate! Hopefully it'll turn up some goods. --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 17:15, February 16, 2014 (UTC)
Exiled Jedi
  • The intro calls the Nikto bounty hunters, while the body refers to them as mercenaries. Which is correct?
    • By my understanding of the material, bounty hunters. I seem to use Bounty Hunter and Mercenary interchangeably, which probably isn't correct. Though as far as Star Wars goes both seem to be treated as hired guns and nothing else. *shrug* Fixed the discrepancies. Though, however, it could very well be a team of mercs, but seeing that the whole thing sounded like a posted bounty, I think it's bounty hunters. Note, that a Duros refers to the Chadra-Fan and the Nikto being a 'wave,' though this is a little odd since no her 'waves' of enemies arrive, minus a cloud of smart mines and the Duros.
  • "The Chadra-Fan had believed that it would be well off against a Jedi as it had accepted the job to kill one." This seems like speculation to me. Perhaps the Chadra-Fan thought that there would be enough people to help that they could overwhelm a Jedi. The way it is currently worded makes it sound like the Chadra-Fan thought that he/she would be able to handle a Jedi alone.
    • Yah, that does make sense... Tried to reword it.
  • From the picture it looks like the Chadra-Fan had pink-colored skin.
    • Whoops, forgot to add that in the P&T... Fixed.
  • Could you mention that the bounty hunter's gender was not identified in the BTS?--Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 03:18, February 23, 2014 (UTC)
Jangerton
  • I don't own this comic at the moment, but does it specifically source to 22 BBY? I do have another comic from the 8th volume and it did not say 22 BBY. Instead, I had to guess and assume based on the clothing of Obi-Wan. If it is then please take a look at my next objection:
    • Old Scores is captioned on the first panel as three months after the Battle of Geonosis. Though no, it does not explicitly say 22 BBY. Granted, I don't know what 'month' Geo took place in.
  • Do the events take place around or during 22 BBY? You mention the former in the intro, while the latter in the bio.
  • More to come after. JangFett (Talk) 23:59, March 6, 2014 (UTC)
Toprawa
  • I find the double use of the word "operated/operating" in the first two sentences of the Biography to be redundant. Please choose another variation for one of them.
    • Fixed it a bit
  • I think this "chamber" needs a bit of context. The chamber within his palace, for example? Or his stronghold? "planned to gas Sing in his own chamber"
    • Throne room is more befitting, probably.
  • Additionally, is this "throne room" a different room from the aforementioned "chamber"? If they're the same room, please use one word to avoid confusion: "a bomb she had planted in his throne room."
    • Ah... Throne room is the better term.
  • "The rogue"? That's kind of a weird way of referring to her. Can we find something more specific and befitting of her character? "and the others were defeated by the rogue." Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 20:48, March 11, 2014 (UTC)
    • I wouldn't say it is weird, no. She would be a 'rogue Jedi,' wouldn't she be? I added the word Jedi after rogue.
      • I still don't think it's accurate to call her a rogue Jedi. That suggests she's still operating as a Jedi in some form, just outside the bounds of the formal restraints of the Jedi Order. But that's not the case. She leaves her Jedi life behind and turns wholly toward a career as a bounty hunter. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 20:03, March 20, 2014 (UTC)
  • I would also like to confirm that this comic story can be used as a source for the date provided in the article. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 22:53, March 11, 2014 (UTC)
    • Ok. --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 20:42, March 19, 2014 (UTC)
      • No, that was me asking you to confirm this. As in, please check this story to see whether it can be used as a source for "the year 22 BBY, three months after the breakout of the Clone Wars." If it says anything, I'm guessing it states that the story is set three months ABG, but that still does not serve as an exact source for the 22 BBY date. That likely needs an additional reference. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 20:03, March 20, 2014 (UTC)
        • Ah, okay. Added a Chrono source then for the year, as the comic simply states 3 Months After BoG. --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 23:10, March 23, 2014 (UTC)
          • Your addition doesn't work for two reasons. Firstly, New Essential Chronology does not state that this character "operated in the year 22 BBY." It says nothing about this character, in fact, so sourcing any direct action of this character to NEC is false sourcing. Secondly, NEC explicitly states that three months after the battle corresponds to anywhere between 21.77 BBY and 21.75 BBY, not 22 BBY, because the battle took place at the very end of 22 BBY. Your best recourse here is to leave a reference note for only the phrase "in the year 21 BBY" (note the date change) explaining that the comic establishes that its story takes place three months ABG, which corresponds to 21 BBY, according to NEC. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 19:02, March 24, 2014 (UTC)
            • Added a reference. Clone Commander Lee Talk 20:21, April 4, 2014 (UTC)
              • Thank you, Lee, for adding the reference, but this entire objection is still not satisfied. Clonehunter, if you're still monitoring this nomination, please read the objection again carefully and address it. This is a good lesson for you in paying attention to detail. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 19:47, April 11, 2014 (UTC)
                • Sorry about all this. I think something is still amiss, but I started with replacing the note so that the NEC only addresses the line "in the year 21 BBY". I'm still not sure if that's right, although the "operated" part is now back to being sourced to the comic. --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 18:00, April 15, 2014 (UTC)

Comments

  • I took the liberty of addressing the objections as Clonehunter seems to be inactive. Clone Commander Lee Talk 20:21, April 4, 2014 (UTC)
    • Oh, sorry about that. I thought I got to this. I should've paid more attention to the NEC, either way. Also, shouldn't that note read '21 BBY', as the NEC places three months later as 21 BBY. The note seems to contradict the article. Maybe I'm just not reading it right, but I'll change it. If I'm wrong, well, I'm wrong. :P--Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 14:51, April 8, 2014 (UTC)
      • Not, the Battle of Geonosis happened at the very end of 22 BBY. It's just like the battle happened in December and the bounty hunter stuff three months afterward (March). Clone Commander Lee Talk 20:01, April 8, 2014 (UTC)


Tripion

  • Nominated by: Trip391 (talk) 02:52, February 20, 2014 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: For the Novels and Creatures Barn-Burner

(3 ACs/2 Users/5 Total)

Support

  1. Clone Commander Lee Talk 11:58, March 9, 2014 (UTC)
  2. Inqvote JangFett (Talk) 17:05, March 17, 2014 (UTC)
  3. Inqvote Cade StupidRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit Calrayn 22:59, April 6, 2014 (UTC)
  4. Thunderforge (talk) 04:31, April 11, 2014 (UTC)
  5. ACvote Sir Cavalier of OneFarStar(Squadron channel) 19:40, April 16, 2014 (UTC)

Object

  • Could you give context for Boba Fett and Jabba the Hutt? Clone Commander Lee Talk 21:10, March 6, 2014 (UTC)
  • Are Nnaksta and Sitnalta pupils? Could you give context?
    • Reworded it a bit
  • You need a "1st appearance" template.
    • Done
  • Maybe mention their subspecies in the intro.
  • That should be all. Clone Commander Lee Talk 12:55, March 7, 2014 (UTC)
Cav
  • Seeing as how the two Tripion images are radically different, I think a little more physical description is needed.
    • The source material only mentions those three traits from the infobox, so I think they may be traits typical for the many different subspecies.
      • That's fine, but the images are different and should be described, etc: number of legs, pincers, etc.
        • Didn't see this. Added in descriptions of the subspecies in both pictures. Trip391 (talk) 21:39, March 30, 2014 (UTC)
  • The history section quote - you could probably shift this to the header quote. It doesn't look right having a quote in the body, but not at the head. - Sir Cavalier of OneFarStar(Squadron channel) 20:43, March 8, 2014 (UTC)
    • Done
Dave Filoni
  • "Tripions had three venomous stinger-tipped tails they used during combat." Didn't you already mention this in the first sentence of the intro? It seems like redundant information to mention the three stingers again. JangFett (Talk) 00:11, March 11, 2014 (UTC)
    • It's mentioned in the intro as it is one of the defining characteristics of a tripion, and is also important to expand on it in the biology and appearance and behavior sections, since having three venomous stinger-tipped tails is a description of a tripion's appearance, as well as how it hunts/defends itself. I have, however reworded it a bit to make it less redundant. Trip391 (talk) 09:38, March 11, 2014 (UTC)
      • I'm referring to the intro—I suggest that you remove this part "with three venomous tail stingers " because you go on to repeat the same information later on. JangFett (Talk) 13:53, March 11, 2014 (UTC)
        • Oh, it was in the intro twice. Yea, that shouldn't have been there. Trip391 (talk) 20:37, March 11, 2014 (UTC)
  • Be sure to mention the release dates or years for the Galaxy Guides and could you give context for the Alliance Intelligence Reports? JangFett (Talk) 14:30, March 13, 2014 (UTC)
    • Added release years, but there were conflicting sources for the exact release dates. Mentioned that AIR was a SWRPG supplement. Trip391 (talk) 22:38, March 13, 2014 (UTC)
      • "It was later in the Star Wars Roleplaying Game supplement Alliance Intelligence Reports, which was released in 1995." Fragment. What do you mean by "It was later in"? JangFett (Talk) 16:08, March 14, 2014 (UTC)
        • It was later mentioned in Trip391 (talk) 21:16, March 14, 2014 (UTC)
          • For tense consistency, I changed a few "are" to "were". JangFett (Talk) 17:05, March 17, 2014 (UTC)
Cadeth
  • I'm fairly sure that the first edition of the Galaxy Guide doesn't need the "First Edition" part, as it was just released as "Galaxy Guide 2: Yavin and Bespin."
    • The wording between the two editions was slightly different
      • Oh, that's not what I meant. You format the two differently—when citing it, don't include the words First Edition (since it wasn't released as "First Edition") but do include the Second Edition part. Cade StupidRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit Calrayn 20:14, March 20, 2014 (UTC)
  • Also, the proper way of formatting stuff like that is Galaxy Guide 2: Yavin and Bespin and Galaxy Guide 2: Yavin and Bespin, Second Edition.
    • Thanks for fixing
  • It would seem to me that Alliance Intelligence Reports needs a {{1stp}}; am I right?
    • Added
  • Can you beef up the intro? Maybe a sentence about their diet.
    • Added
  • Are they confirmed to be native to either Yavin 13 or Gall? If not explicitly confirmed, they need to be removed from the homeworld field, and the category removed as well.
    • On closer inspection the Galaxy Guides (for Yavin 13) do only say "ideally suited for" while the previous species is referred to as "one of the natural hazards", so I'll remove 13. With Gall they're referred to as "Gallian(on) tripions", but the EGtPaM does only say they lurked in the shadows, not native, so I'll remove that too.
  • You should mention that they are crustaceans in the biology section, not the behavior.
    • Changed
  • I think it'd also be good to mention the number of legs and pincers, unless those are variable.
    • They vary by subspecies
      • Hmmm. Then I think it'd be good to give the number of legs & pincers as an example for one of the subspecies.
        • Stated the number of legs and pincers of the subspecies in the more detailed image (tripion attacking Twilight Class) from Alliance Intelligence Reports
  • "the prey was larger" - than the tripion? Also, that sentence switches between plural and singular in reference to the tripion ("They" vs. "its"). Please pick one.
    • Changed to "the prey", but used "larger than the attacking tripion" in reference to that
  • Context for Tatooine.
  • Not bad. Just some formatting and some exclusive information. Cade StupidRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit Calrayn 18:07, March 17, 2014 (UTC)
Exiled Jedi
  • Is crustaceous used by one of the original sources? If it is not, I believe you should change it to crustacean, because I don't think crustaceous is a real word.
    • It's classified as a "desert crustacean", and crustaceous is real, I don't know why it's being underlined red as a misspelling
  • There seems to be some inconsistency about the creature's diet. It is mentioned that the creatures eat small lizards and insects, but then you mention prey that is larger than the tripion.
    • Reworded it as the text simply says "only if the prey is large", but not specifically what exactly the large prey was
  • Can 22 BBY be sourced to Boba Fett: Hunted?
    • The Essential Readers Companion dates it as 22 BBY, should I source 22 BBY to that instead, or keep that section sourced to Hunted?
  • The history section seems like it should be a Tripions in the galaxy section. The history section would be more appropriate for talking about where the species lived by what date and other information about the history of the species in general. Specific incidents belong in the "Tripions in the galaxy" section.--Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 19:03, March 22, 2014 (UTC)
  • In the biology and appearance section and inofobox you seem to indicate that all tripion have three tails, then mention a subspecies with only one.
    • That's how the Galaxy Guides and Alliance Intelligence Report refer to them (hence the name I guess), but the image from the Essential Guide to Planets and Moons shows a tripion from Gall with only one tail, and Boba Fett: Hunted describes the species from Gall only having one tail as well. I added a mention of this to the bts.
  • Could you mention that the subspecies in the infobox had two antennae?--Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 06:32, April 9, 2014 (UTC)

Comments

  • The two pictures are different, but are both from the sources, and makes sense considering there are over 600 different subspecies. Trip391 (talk) 02:53, February 20, 2014 (UTC)
  • Hey Trip, just fwi, please be sure to put all letters outside pipelinks within the two closing double brackets. As an example: [[Planet|world]]s needs to be [[Planet|worlds]]. JangFett (Talk) 00:11, March 11, 2014 (UTC)
  • Trip, since you're using the non/semi sentient layout, shouldn't you mention either one somewhere in the article, assuming a source book mentioned either one? JangFett (Talk) 17:08, March 17, 2014 (UTC)


Mee

(0 ACs/1 Users/1 Total)

Support

  1. JorrelWiki-shrinkableFraajic 10:54, March 30, 2014 (UTC)

Object

Cav
  • Borrowing from my colleague Tope's oft-mentioned objection - the dates (32 BBY, 20 BBY) cannot be sourced directly to the either TPM or Republic 69 can they? You will have to find an alternate method of sourcing the dates, possibly the NEC or ERC. - Sir Cavalier of OneFarStar(Squadron channel) 09:20, March 10, 2014 (UTC)
    • I can source Episode I from the Essential Reader's Companion. In the case of Republic 69, the introduction page says "the events of this series take place approximately six months before the events of Revenge of the Sith. Does that then make the timeframe c. 19.7 BBY? I checked the ERC for Republic, but that does not cover comic series. I checked the Dark Horse Comics Companion, but that does not specify the timeframe of that particular story arc. I do not have access to the New Essential Chronology, so I request someone check that if they can. -- Riffsyphon1024 07:25, March 24, 2014 (UTC)
      • For the time being, I am citing the comic issue itself and using "C. 20 BBY" with the reference line "The events of Dreadnaughts of Rendili are given at the beginning of the issue as having occurred approximately six months before the events of Revenge of the Sith". I hope that is fair. -- Riffsyphon1024 09:01, March 27, 2014 (UTC)
        • Objections to this? -- Riffsyphon1024 09:20, April 13, 2014 (UTC)
          • If I may: That the events of ROTS are in 19 BBY can not be sourced to the film. Therefore the reference has to be changed. Clone Commander Lee Talk 12:44, April 13, 2014 (UTC)
Cadeth
  • Please provide screenshots or other verification of your communication with Whitlatch. You can doctor it to remove personal information, but visible proof is needed.
    • Currently waiting for Whitlatch to give approval to LelalMekha. He has the screenshot. -- Riffsyphon1024 10:35, March 26, 2014 (UTC)
  • References must follow commas and other punctuation.
  • There's no need to put the second name in the infobox. It's not done for other articles with multiple names, as that could get out of hand really easily.
  • Please be sure to keep singular and plural consistent—for example: "Mee were rotund yet flat, with black and yellow scales, a wide mouth, and a set of poisonous spines which protruded from its midsection.
    • I see this has been corrected, though I'm feeling singular tense might work the best for the intro paragraph. Agree? -- Riffsyphon1024 11:10, March 26, 2014 (UTC)
      • Yes, that's fine. Just keep your choice consistent.
  • Context on Ohma-D'un and Aquilaris in the intro and the Biology section.
  • Please mention the daggert name in the body of the article. It's only in the intro and BTS.
  • Please give the context for Naboo in the Biology section where it's first mentioned, not in the History.
  • Context on Gungan.
    • Context given in Behavior. -- Riffsyphon1024 08:56, March 27, 2014 (UTC)
  • I think there is an article for that gelatinous substance, no? Not sure what it is though...
  • You've got a sourcing error in the history section. You're currently sourcing the mee's appearance in the lake to the ERC.
    • That citation is for 32 BBY, not the lake. -- Riffsyphon1024 11:10, March 26, 2014 (UTC)
      • Firstly, I cut the Invasion stuff, as it's not particularly relevant. Secondly, yes, but you need a source for the first part of that sentence. It should be "Some mee were present in Lake Paonga[X] in 32 BBY[9] ..." The part about the mee in the lake would then be sourced to reference X, not the ERC.
        • I cited Inside the Worlds of Star Wars Episode I as it identifies that lake as Lake Paonga. -- Riffsyphon1024 08:56, March 27, 2014 (UTC)
  • Please try to break up the Titavian sentence.
    • Would a semicolon work in this case? -- Riffsyphon1024 11:10, March 26, 2014 (UTC)
      • Yes, "Titavian IV; ..." would be fine.
  • Context on the Clone Wars.
    • Please clarify what needs to be illustrated. -- Riffsyphon1024 11:10, March 26, 2014 (UTC)
      • Something simple like "the galactic conflict known as the Clone Wars that lasted from 22 BBY to 19 BBY," explaining both what the Clone Wars are and when they happened. Cade StupidRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit Calrayn 16:21, March 26, 2014 (UTC)
  • Please identify in the BTS which source first named them as daggerts, and give that one a {{1stID}} too.
  • There were a lot of missing links, and duplicate links. For duplicate links, there's a tool in the Gadgets section of Preferences that will highlight these. Cade StupidRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit Calrayn 04:15, March 26, 2014 (UTC)
    • Looked into this and selected that tool but so far I don't seem to be able to identify duplicate links with it. -- Riffsyphon1024 09:20, March 30, 2014 (UTC)
      • It does not appear to be working (still, as I ran into the issue myself). I ran through each link manually for you, though, so they should all be fixed now. JorrelWiki-shrinkableFraajic 10:54, March 30, 2014 (UTC)
Ecks
  • You have two consecutive [3] references. Please remove or replace one of them.
  • Please use {{CSWECite}} for your CSWE-related references.
  • Considering you mention Naboo's astronomical location in the intro, please mention it in the body as well. 1358 (Talk) 19:30, April 13, 2014 (UTC)

Comments

Smoking PSA

  • Nominated by: Thunderforge (talk) 04:29, March 11, 2014 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: Previously nominated as a Comprehensive Article, but failed because after revisions it exceeded 250 words. There was also a Trash Compactor discussion about whether or not commercials like this one belonged on Wookieepedia. The discussion was closed in January with a decision to keep this page at least and no further challenges have been made to it in the last two months.

(3 ACs/2 Users/5 Total)

Support

  1. Inqvote JangFett (Talk) 17:58, March 24, 2014 (UTC)
  2. Clone Commander Lee Talk 22:59, March 24, 2014 (UTC)
  3. Good work. 501st dogma(talk) 23:41, March 28, 2014 (UTC)
  4. ACvote Winterz (talk) 23:10, April 6, 2014 (UTC)
  5. ACvote IFYLOFD (Enter the Floydome) 02:09, April 8, 2014 (UTC)

Object

501st
  1. You mention the space station in the body, and there is a redlink for it in the appearances section. Did we not deduce that them being on a space station was fan speculation?
    • That's a holdover from when the article did exist and the link didn't get removed when it was trash compacted. Fixed.
      • It still mentions a space station in the body.
        • Fixed.
  2. Could we get another quote for the Synopsis section?
    • We don't really have much to work with. I suppose I could use "R2-D2, you've found a cigarette!" but it's not really that evocative of a quote.
  3. I believe you need to mention somewhere in the article, once in the intro and once in the body, that the PSA was non-canon.
    • I've added it to the intro, but I can't find a good way to work it in later. Besides, I figure "C-3P0 directly address the audience" clearly puts it as non-canon.
      • You could add it to the development section.
        • Done.
  4. Context on R2-D2 should be given in the body.
    • What sort of context should I add?
      • Saying he is a droid should do the trick.
        • Done.
  5. Good work. 501st dogma(talk) 13:24, March 11, 2014 (UTC)
    • Thanks! -Thunderforge (talk) 20:58, March 11, 2014 (UTC)
      • I have modified your replies here and put them in their corresponding places in order to comply with our standards. Please look into this edit and see how it's done ;). Winterz (talk) 21:52, March 11, 2014 (UTC)
  6. "The PSA consists of a sketch..." You sure this is supposed to be a sketch? Wouldn't skit be better?
    • You're right, "skit" is better. Fixed.
  7. "The 60-second version includes an opening where C-3PO is looking for R2-D2 and has him initially believing that R2-D2 is on fire before he realizes he is smoking a cigarette. The 30-second version starts immediately with C-3PO identifying R2-D2 as having a cigarette." This can probably be removed, as you describe both version in the synopsis.
    • Jang had asked me to do that in one of his suggestions. Since I've got two reviewers suggesting two opposite things, I'm not sure what to do :-/
      • I guess you can leave it then, but its still redundant.
        • In rereading Jang's comments, it seems like his big concern was that the information about a 30 second and 60 second version should not be limited to the infobox. Since we have it in the synopsis and development section, we should be covered then. I've removed it from the lead. -Thunderforge (talk) 04:31, March 31, 2014 (UTC)
  8. Can you ref the last sentence in the Development? Just using your first ref (1) will do fine there. 501st dogma(talk) 14:47, March 24, 2014 (UTC)
    • Done.
Jang
  • Please go more into detail as to what was cut from the 30 second video and the alternate takes. What are you currently using in the synopsis? If the 30 second video is different in comparison to the 60 second, then this should be noted in the article. Both are non-canon so one does not trump the other even though one is shorter than the other. JangFett (Talk) 13:44, March 11, 2014 (UTC)
    • Done, let me know if you have further suggestions. -Thunderforge (talk) 20:58, March 11, 2014 (UTC)
      • Instead of the tag, I think it would be better if you write out the 30 second version under the 60 second version. It would be better since the 60 second version shouldn't be exclusive to the synopsis section. JangFett (Talk) 15:30, March 12, 2014 (UTC)
        • Fair enough. I've created two synopses. Let me know if this is more what you are looking for. -Thunderforge (talk) 17:30, March 12, 2014 (UTC)
  • Could you possibly add another sentence or two in the intro? Just so it could be proportional to the body. JangFett (Talk) 18:36, March 12, 2014 (UTC)
    • I added one sentence to it giving a brief summary of the plot, but I'm not sure if it's redundant or not. If you have other suggestions, let me know. -Thunderforge (talk) 20:40, March 12, 2014 (UTC)
      • I think mentioning that the PSA had a 30 and 60 second version will be useful in the intro. JangFett (Talk) 17:19, March 17, 2014 (UTC)
        • Isn't this redundant because it's in the infobox already? I've gone ahead and made the change anyway. -Thunderforge (talk) 15:55, March 21, 2014 (UTC)
          • No, then it'll be infobox exclusive. Per common practice, anything in the infobox should be reflected in the article's main body. JangFett (Talk) 17:58, March 24, 2014 (UTC)
            • 501st above had said that this sentence was redundant. It seems like your main concern was that the information about a 30 second and 60 second version should not be limited to the infobox. Since we have it in the synopsis and development section, I think that we've already got that issue solved. For that reason I've removed it from the lead, but we can try to work out some consensus with the other reviewers if you still think it absolutely has to be there. -Thunderforge (talk) 04:31, March 31, 2014 (UTC)
  • I do remember that some might object to linking to IU links since this article is a real-life OOU subject. I wouldn't suggest delinking all of the IU links and replace them with real-life OOU ones, but you should go ahead and ask users who are familiar with OOU. The SH would be a good place to start. Otherwise, I'd suggest keeping the links in the synopsis (since clearly 3PO and R2 are in the galaxy) and remove the IU links elsewhere. I would like to keep the linking consistent. JangFett (Talk) 18:36, March 12, 2014 (UTC)
Winterz
  • Reload the infobox, you have additional fields there. Also, handsome work. Winterz (talk) 16:07, March 11, 2014 (UTC)
    • How do I go about doing this? -Thunderforge (talk) 20:58, March 11, 2014 (UTC)
      • Replace the current template with {{Infobox_Movie/preload}} and then fill in the fields again or just press the "source" button on the bottom of the present template and then copy the fields from the Template page and fill them in again, replacing the current one. Winterz (talk) 21:56, March 11, 2014 (UTC)
El Jefe
  • Does this article need a {{Conjecture}} tag? Is there anywhere where the title of the piece is specifically called the "Smoking PSA"?
    • The video is not hosted on any official website (e.g. StarWars.com) and I can't find any official source regarding it, which probably isn't surprising given that it was released before the age of the internet. For what it's worth, unofficial sources call it a wide variety of names, so if there ever was an official name, it isn't well recognized. So it seems like it does indeed need a {{Conjecture}} tag. I've gone ahead and added it.
      • Cool, but you'll also need to adjust the article so you don't directly call it "The Smoking PSA" as if it's the actual name. IFYLOFD (Enter the Floydome) 04:51, April 5, 2014 (UTC)
        • I've made some changes to that based on how it seems other conjectural GAs do it. Let me know if you'd like for me to make further changes. -Thunderforge (talk) 04:58, April 7, 2014 (UTC)
  • "is fiddling with a strange device" Seems a little POV to me. IFYLOFD (Enter the Floydome) 02:39, April 3, 2014 (UTC)
    • You're right, that can be reading a bit too much into this. I've changed that to a more generic "using an electronic device". -Thunderforge (talk) 22:28, April 3, 2014 (UTC)
Asithol
  • The section labelled Development covers a lot more than development. It first talks about the development, then summarizes the synopses of the two versions, addresses the piece's canonicity, and talks about its possible 1997 re-airing. Other than the synopses, which mostly repeat information from the previous section, this information is relevant to the article, but not to Development. I'm not sure whether it's better to change the section heading to be more general, or to move the non-development info into new sections. (But there should certainly be at least paragraph breaks between the shifts in topic.) Asithol (talk) 21:19, April 9, 2014 (UTC)
    • I've moved the part about canonicity to a new section and removed the synopsis (which was more a summary of the different takes they used, but it does come across as a duplicate). Let me know if further changes need to be made. -Thunderforge (talk) 23:20, April 11, 2014 (UTC)
      • Definitely an improvement. The sentence about the possible 1997 re-airing still isn't really "Development," as the piece was developed over a decade ago by that point. But of the sections listed in the portion of the layout guide that Toprawa linked to, I don't see one that strikes me as really a good fit for this tidbit. Maybe the best thing to do in this case is just call this section Development and release? Not a huge deal to me at this point, but it would be good to have the section label accurately reflect what that section talks about. Asithol (talk) 23:14, April 12, 2014 (UTC)
  • I agree the PSA is almost certainly noncanon, but the only support for this assertion in the article is the fact that C-3PO directly addresses the audience, which hardly disqualifies it: the Star Wars universe has audiences as well. Has it been officially deemed noncanon, or is this ultimately a speculative designation? Asithol (talk) 21:19, April 9, 2014 (UTC)
    • I have not seen any other source that mentions this PSA and its canonicity. It seems clear to me that C-3PO is addressing the television audience, rather than some in-universe audience, since the commercial was created first and foremost as a PSA for the real world. And as far as I know, this is the first time the canonicity of a commercial has been mentioned. The closest precedent I can find is Star Wars Miniatures: Legacy of the Force advertisement, but that has the added benefit of having characters from different eras. -Thunderforge (talk) 23:20, April 11, 2014 (UTC)
      • Yeah, it's tricky territory without much precedent. The thing is, the {{Noncanon}} template explicitly says "has been deemed non-canon by either the author or the Star Wars licensees," which does not seem to apply here. As far as deducing the spot's canonical status, if C-3PO had addressed "Citizens of Earth" or some such, it'd be clear-cut, but however much I agree that he's talking to a 20th-century television audience, I'm not sure the support is there in the PSA itself to state this definitively. So I wonder if the {{Ambig}} tag is a better fit: "has not been deemed to be definitively canon" is a pretty safe statement to make about this PSA. Then the Canonicity section can address the question in a NPOV manner. What do others think? Asithol (talk) 20:57, April 12, 2014 (UTC)
Toprawa
  • This article is a mess. I'm going to go through this with you slowly, section by section. The very first problem is the referencing. This is a special situation where, unlike a book or a movie that is readily accessible on the open market, this article shouldn't reference itself, as in Reference 1. What you're really referencing are the two YouTube videos, which are basically your only sources of information for this subject. Those should be your point of references, not linking back to this article. Please go through and adapt every <ref name="PSA" /> reference note to instead reference one of the two specific YouTube videos. This also applies to the source field for the quote.
    • I'm not sure that switching the reference to the YouTube video is the right thing to do. First, The Star Wars Holiday Special is similarly inaccessible on the open market, but it cites itself as a source quite a few times. Second, the article does link to the YouTube copies, but there are also copies of it on other video hosting sites (I found five other sites on a cursory search). I don't think there's anything particularly special about the copies on YouTube that make them specifically need to be cited. Besides if the videos on YouTube were to disappear, the article would still be valid and could link to any of those other copies online. Referencing the commercial itself, rather than the specific copy of the commercial, seems like a wiser idea. -Thunderforge (talk) 23:37, April 11, 2014 (UTC)
      • Your referencing doesn't work because, unlike something like The Empire Strikes Back, where the reader can easily go to that source and verify an article's information, this article's information is entirely reliant on these Internet videos. If these videos didn't exist, you couldn't even write this article. That's where you're literally getting your information from, so that's where you need to source your information to. If a reader wants to see where this article's information is coming from, it does them no good to see the name of this article listed in a reference note, because it's as if this article is just perpetuating itself. They need to be able to see that the information is coming from a YouTube video, for example, so that they can go and check it, just like they would open up a film or book. And just because Holiday Special or another article does something doesn't mean it's ok. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 23:56, April 11, 2014 (UTC)
      • I'll offer you a compromise. Make your reference note look like this: <ref name="PSA">Smoking PSA {{C|via [YouTube URL|YouTube video]}}</ref>. How does that work for you? Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 00:04, April 12, 2014 (UTC)
  • Like Asithol above, I'm also very concerned with this article's sectioning. I would suggest just sticking with our formal layout for published narrative works, which I think can safely apply to this article. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 20:36, April 11, 2014 (UTC)
    • I've made some changes to this based on what I saw from that. I'd appreciate having the canonicity section double-checked; I'm not sure if I'm using it correctly. I've also removed the description of the shots since both of you seemed to view it as a plot summary rather than a description of the different takes. -Thunderforge (talk) 23:37, April 11, 2014 (UTC)

Comments

Approved by AgriCorps 02:09, April 8, 2014 (UTC)


Ko Solok

  • Nominated by: Ayrehead02 (talk) 13:56, March 14, 2014 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments:

(0 ACs/1 Users/1 Total)

Support

  1. Note my final edit. And I want to see him next. ;) Clone Commander Lee Talk 11:49, March 15, 2014 (UTC)

Object

Lee's charge
  • Solok was selected as part of a task force: Should this be "Solok was selected to be part of a task force"? I'm not sure if the way you say it is correct.
  • Link for the fight at Yellowblade's Landing?
  • You say 20 BBY in the infobox and around 20 BBY in the body.
  • Is it mentioned that he constructed the lightsaber himself? It could be a gift from his master etc.
  • Is it mentioned that he was a General or is this just an assumption based on his status as a Jedi Master?
    • I thought I remembered a source saying all Jedi Masters were made generals, but there are actually exceptions, so removed. Ayrehead02 (talk) 15:21, March 14, 2014 (UTC)
  • and after sighting them Koon ordered that Solok, along with his fellow Master and team member Grohto, organise a search of the surrounding settlement: Something is wrong here IMHO.
  • The P&t is more like a "Powers and abilities" section.
  • Could we get another picture for the body?
    • Added his death. Ayrehead02 (talk) 15:21, March 14, 2014 (UTC)
      • Good, but by WP:Images: "Speech bubbles should ideally be cropped out of an image. If it is not possible to crop them out, the text in the bubbles should be left in if the bubble is intact. If the bubble is cut off, the text should be removed. " Clone Commander Lee Talk 15:35, March 14, 2014 (UTC)
        • Fixed for both images. Good catch. Ayrehead02 (talk) 11:13, March 15, 2014 (UTC)
  • Nice article. Clone Commander Lee Talk 14:28, March 14, 2014 (UTC)
  • No spoken lines or any other stuff for the P&t section? Clone Commander Lee Talk 15:35, March 14, 2014 (UTC)
    • Added. There isn't much else relevant to him. Ayrehead02 (talk) 11:04, March 15, 2014 (UTC)
Clone fly-by
  • This image is of poor quality—you can see the white frame around the panel—and needs to be replaced. CC7567 (talk) 16:44, March 19, 2014 (UTC)
    • Oh, I thought the frames were ok if the image overlapped into them. Changed. Ayrehead02 (talk) 19:14, March 19, 2014 (UTC)
Exiled Jedi
  • "Solok had obtained a green-bladed lightsaber and obtained the rank of Jedi Master." Could you change this so that you don't use obtained twice in the same sentence?
  • In the biography, I think it would be best to mention all members of the strike team when it is introduced. I found it rather confusing trying to find out who was on the team.
  • I just want to make sure, but did the comic show that Maul's kick did not make physical contact with Solok? If he made physical contact, then it would not be a force kick.
    • Hmm, it doesn't show that physical contact was made, but the shot is just after the kick so it doesn't prove that it definitely wasn't. Removed. Ayrehead02 (talk) 21:12, March 30, 2014 (UTC)
  • The equipment section makes it sound like he wore both cold weather gear and Jedi robes at the same time. Is this correct?
  • Just a note for future articles, organization and analyzed are spelled with a "z" in American English.--Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 20:40, March 23, 2014 (UTC)
  • Reference 1 should be split into two sentences.
  • Now that I think about it, you probably don't need to mention his lightsaber in the biography.
  • "The trio waited there while the others headed deeper into the base, where they were soon attacked by Maul, who leapt through a window and kicked Solok as the Sith entered the chamber." Please split this sentence.
  • "before they escaped with a hostage they had found incarcerated in the base." Please make it clear who escaped with the hostage.
  • Due to the small amount of information, a separate Powers and abilities section is not necessary. Please merge the information with the P&T.
  • Note, Force should always be capitalized when referring to The Force. Padawan should also be capitalized. I fixed them this time, but please keep an eye out for things like this in the future.--Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 03:06, April 13, 2014 (UTC)
Attack of the Clone
  • Please reread the opening quote's caption and check for errors.
    • Should be ok now. Ayrehead02 (talk) 13:12, April 18, 2014 (UTC)
      • Proofread, please. Another error slipped in with your revision. CC7567 (talk) 14:43, April 18, 2014 (UTC)
  • The leading quote and Bio quote captions can be more interesting and give more context, instead of "[x] gives orders to [y] and [z]." For starters, which event is each quote referring to?
  • "Solok and Jun-Fan were both killed by Maul in the fight, who then escaped with Opress.'" The second dependent clause ("who then escaped with Opress") isn't working right now because for it to be worded like that, the subject of that clause ("Maul") needs to be at the very end of the first independent clause, instead of "the fight."
  • Massacre on Yellowblade's Landing needs to be linked at the appropriate place.
  • In general, the Bio can be beefed up with a lot more information. What ship did Solok and the other Jedi take to Yellowblade's Landing? What ship(s) did Maul and Opress use throughout the events of the comic? What about the involvement of Captain Mojo and the clone troopers in the comic? They're not mentioned anywhere. What were Maul and Opress after on Yellowblade's Landing? Why were they stealing gold on Pleem's Nexus? In either case, did the Jedi discover their objectives? These are just some initial questions; there are other details that should be incorporated as well. I'd recommend rereading the comic and incorporating more detail—there's a lot more that can be added to the Bio, as well as the intro.
    • Ok added a fair bit. Is it enough? Ayrehead02 (talk) 13:12, April 18, 2014 (UTC)
      • Several things: Consular-class cruiser needs to be formatted properly with italics, and the exact model needs to be linked instead. Clone trooper captain needs to be linked instead of captain in regards to Mojo. The article for Maul's specific Turtle Tanker needs to be linked. Your linking in regards to Sith and starship needs to be checked in light of your additions. Creatures such as wampa are decapitalized unless source material specifically refers to them by a capitalized name. There's also a typo in regards to Opress's name. Most of these errors are little things that I'd normally take care of myself under {{Sofixit}}, but please take note of them—since you've been writing and reviewing articles for a while now, I'd expect you next time to be able to catch these. I'm not expecting perfection (none of us is perfect), but in general, it doesn't hurt to proofread an extra time before submitting an edit. CC7567 (talk) 14:43, April 18, 2014 (UTC)
  • I've liked lightsaber combat in the P&A, but it should be mentioned and linked earlier, somewhere in the Bio.
  • "Solok was a Force-sensitive male Gran": this bit in the P&T is restating information that you've already presented in the Bio. Unless there's a good reason for the repetition, please remove it.
  • I'll take another look once you've addressed these objections. CC7567 (talk) 15:39, April 16, 2014 (UTC)
  • As I asked for your Cho'na Bene nom, please check your verb conjugation in regards to "lead." This appears to be a bad habit, so I'd suggest proofreading more next time.
  • Please limit your usage of "then," since overusing it can add an unnecessary feeling of play-by-play wording. CC7567 (talk) 14:43, April 18, 2014 (UTC)
  • The P&T (or P&A) can mention something to the effect of the fact that Solok was skilled enough to reach the rank of Jedi Master. CC7567 (talk) 14:44, April 18, 2014 (UTC)

Comments

D'ian

  • Nominated by: Ayrehead02 (talk) 13:16, March 19, 2014 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: Wanted to try a Corporate sector world, others may follow

(0 ACs/1 Users/1 Total)

Support

  1. Clone Commander Lee Talk 13:49, March 19, 2014 (UTC)

Object

Lee's charge
  • D'ian was a planet with balmy weather and shallow seas, which located within the: Something missing here, right?
  • By the time of the Clone Wars between the Galactic Republic and the Confederacy of Independent Systems, the planet was considered a part of Republic space: I'm not sure, but should this be "considered to be a part of..."?
    • I think its fine either way, but changed. Ayrehead02 (talk) 13:34, March 19, 2014 (UTC)
  • Could you reword the stuff about the Confederation and the population in 25 ABY to make it more chronolized? Now it sounds like the Second Galactic Civil War started sometime before or in 25 ABY.
    • Added dates to make it clearer. Ayrehead02 (talk) 13:34, March 19, 2014 (UTC)
  • Was the planet mentioned in Star Wars: Agent of the Empire 1: Iron Eclipse, Part 1?
    • Nope, Cross just said something like An Orchard Vine from the Corporate Sector if I'm not mistake. Ayrehead02 (talk) 13:34, March 19, 2014 (UTC)
  • AFAIK, the affiliations in the infobox should in chronological order and not in alphabetical.
    • Oh, that does make more sense. Ayrehead02 (talk) 13:34, March 19, 2014 (UTC)
  • Nice. Clone Commander Lee Talk 13:27, March 19, 2014 (UTC)
Winterz's retreat
  • May I ask why do you use one ref for the "region" and "sector" fields of the infobox but then a different ref when describing them in the body? You could probably fix that, only to make it more consistent. Winterz (talk) 23:41, April 6, 2014 (UTC)
Cav
  • Can we get some dates thrown in there for the Clone Wars, rise of the Empire, etc?
  • A little explanation of the CSA itself would be appreciated.
  • Population info needs to be in the infobox as well. - Sir Cavalier of OneFarStar(Squadron channel) 19:55, April 16, 2014 (UTC)
    • Given that its only an average for the region I'm not sure it should be included there. In fact I'm pretty sure I've seen people told to remove the Atlas averages from infoboxes. Ayrehead02 (talk) 13:35, April 18, 2014 (UTC)

Comments

Foreign Affairs scandal

  • Nominated by: Stake black msg 21:35, March 21, 2014 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: Yay.

(0 ACs/1 Users/1 Total)

Support

  1. Clone Commander Lee Talk 19:56, March 27, 2014 (UTC)

Object

Lee's attack
  • Could you add a short intro.
  • Context for Plagueis and Theed.
  • Isnt' Amidala also a participant (Infobox)?
  • Is NOTOC really needed?
  • Interesting stuff. Clone Commander Lee Talk 20:39, March 22, 2014 (UTC)
    • Hey Lee, thanks for the review. An intro is not always necessary, as per rule 7. Also, NOTOC is not being used in the article. Context and Padmé's participation have been added; have a look. Stake black msg 01:56, March 27, 2014 (UTC)
  • In around 33 BBY: In or around?
  • Otherwise it looks good. Please remember that one objection to Onderon-mission still needs to addressed. Clone Commander Lee Talk 14:17, March 27, 2014 (UTC)
Jang
  • Per Rules 4 and 7, please section the article. This isn't the CAN. JangFett (Talk) 13:21, March 24, 2014 (UTC)
    • Jang, rule 7 states: "…have a proper lead that gives a good summary of the topic if the length of the article supports it. This may not be appropriate on articles with limited content." Splitting such a small article into sections would make it needlessly repetitive. There's no more information on this subject, I'm afraid. Stake black msg 01:46, March 27, 2014 (UTC)
      • Referring to the intro alone. If you look at your content, you have enough information for another section. Try it out. JangFett (Talk) 01:55, March 27, 2014 (UTC)
Thunderforge
  • The Behind the Scenes section says that "the events described in A Summer's Dream were later included in later canonical works" (plural), but there is only one appearance for it and one source, which is an indirect mention. Could you please address this? -Thunderforge (talk) 02:14, April 5, 2014 (UTC)
    • The scandal is only mentioned in Secrets of Naboo, but the actual story of the comic has been referenced in SoN and Star Wars: Darth Plagueis, that I know. Stake black msg 02:34, April 5, 2014 (UTC)
      • I guess I'm not quite convinced, from the article alone, that Secrets of Naboo is referring to this event. This article states that Secrets of Naboo "mentioned that Veruna got entangled in 'less-than-noble offworld politics,' referring to the king as corrupt and having a double agenda." This seems too vague to me and doesn't provide any specific information that would link it to the ambiguously canon Tales comic (it could be some other scandal). Are there any other passages within Secrets of Naboo that could be linked to this scandal? -Thunderforge (talk) 04:53, April 11, 2014 (UTC)
        • You're right, but the phrasing is so vague that even it if wasn't mentioning any event in particular, it could be used for any foreign policy scandals. "Less-than-noble offworld politics" refers to his general conduction of foreign affairs, which was the source of the scandal. Seems a no-brainer. Stake black msg 12:37, April 11, 2014 (UTC)
          • While I agree that "less-than-noble offworld politics" would fit as the source of the scandal, I don't think that the fact that it fits proves that the scandal itself is canon. As you said, the statement could be referring to any foreign policy scandal, but since it doesn't provide any further information linking to this particular scandal, I don't think that it raises the event in the Tales comic from ambiguously canon to full canon. To provide an alternative example, say that some source later referenced that "Jar Jar Binks' was hated by his father." While that fits with George R. Binks, it's too vague to make the story canon (and the elements within, such as his father's name, the fact that he owned a business, the fact that Jar Jar was trapped on an island, etc.). I think that this event should be marked as ambiguously canon, but I would encourage these supporting events in order to basically say that although these canon events don't specifically reference this ambiguously canon event, they do support it. -Thunderforge (talk) 00:18, April 12, 2014 (UTC)
            • See, at least 3 sources that I can recall already confirm the overall story in A Summer's Dream as canon (End Game, Secrets of Naboo, Star Wars: Darth Plagueis). The fact that this fleeting mention of the scandal was not mentioned later on does not make it automatically non-canon. There's no reason to suspect that this would be non-canon if the main story was deemed canon, and in fact I'd be surprised if this sort of suspicion was ever previously raised here on the Wook. This confirmation by later sources is mainly just to sort silly comics like What They Called Me from the more serious ones. On another point, it's worthy of saying that this scandal is described so generically, that no canon source could specifically refer to it, so it seems a demand a bit excessive to make. Stake black msg 03:48, April 12, 2014 (UTC)
            • By the way, I found more sources for it. Have a second look. Stake black msg 15:14, April 17, 2014 (UTC)

Comments

Galdos Stouff

(5 ACs/0 Users/5 Total)

Support

  1. Inqvote JangFett (Talk) 19:16, March 25, 2014 (UTC)
  2. ACvote 1358 (Talk) 14:33, April 10, 2014 (UTC)
  3. ACvote IFYLOFD (Enter the Floydome) 04:42, April 16, 2014 (UTC)
  4. ACvote Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 05:16, April 16, 2014 (UTC)
  5. ACvote CC7567 (talk) 14:34, April 17, 2014 (UTC)

Object

Jangston
  • Before I even begin my review, Lee, please take of the redirects. JangFett (Talk) 02:16, March 23, 2014 (UTC)
    • Found and killed two. Clone Commander Lee Talk 12:16, March 23, 2014 (UTC)
      • For future reference—and this goes for all Star Wars films—it's not Star Wars: Episode II: Attack of the Clones it's Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones (notice the first colon is removed). Try to be more careful. JangFett (Talk) 23:57, March 23, 2014 (UTC)
  • Reload your infobox.
  • Try not to extrapolate information. In the Inside sourcebook, Stouff is only mentioned alongside Bulq and that's it. Where does it say he served under the Galactic Republic? You currently have this information sourced to the Inside sourcebook. I'd suggest that you either remove or find a more appropriate source for Galactic Republic.
  • "Galdos Stouff was a male Padawan serving the Jedi Order and the Galactic Republic in the decade leading up to the Clone Wars" Since he fought in the first battle of the Clone Wars, I wouldn't word it by saying he served the Jedi Order leading up to the Clone Wars, when he actually did. Also, check your grammar.
  • Even if his species is not confirmed, you could still make note that he was a sentient in the intro and bio somewhere.
  • If you're going to call Mace Windu the Master of the Order in the intro, then I'd suggest that you do the same in the bio, only properly source it there. Remove some of the excess context as well.
  • Windu did not go to Geonosis to help all three, just Obi-Wan. Mace Windu wanted Anakin to stay on Tatooine, but the latter decided to follow Padme's orders instead. You're going to have to fix this continuity error in both the intro and bio.
    • Addressed. Clone Commander Lee Talk 00:18, March 24, 2014 (UTC)
      • "when Kenobi was about to be executed on the planet Geonosis" This part of the sentence needs tweaking. Because you haven't mentioned Geonosis or why they were going to Geonosis in the first place, I think you should create a whole separate sentence dedicated to introducing why they were going to Geonosis. In terms of chronological order, it should go before Mace's decision to rescue Obi-Wan: "Jedi Knight Obi-Wan was captured by CIS forces after he tracked a bounty hunter to the planet" or something. Yes, the article is about Stouff, but this will clear up any confusion or outstanding questions. JangFett (Talk) 17:12, March 24, 2014 (UTC)
  • "A Force-sensitive male, Galdos Stouff was trained in the ways of the Force by the Jedi Order during the waning years of the Galactic Republic." Where exactly is this in the Inside sourcebook?
    • It is stated that he is a Padawan in the Jedi Order. Therefore, IMHO it is stated in the sourcebook. Clone Commander Lee Talk 00:18, March 24, 2014 (UTC)
      • No, it does not, Lee. It doesn't mention anything about his training, nor his "youngling years," as implied in the article. What's sourceable is his apprenticeship to Bulq. JangFett (Talk) 17:12, March 24, 2014 (UTC)
        • The only thing I imply is that Stouff was trained by the Jedi Order. The source book says he is a Padawan, and Padawans are trained by the order. There is no link to Jedi Iniate at all. I'm open for suggestions, but I will not remove this sentence. Clone Commander Lee Talk 17:30, March 24, 2014 (UTC)
          • I'm not asking you to remove the sentence; I'm asking you to fix your sourcing. I suggest that you find a way to merge "A Force-sensitive male sentient, Galdos Stouff was trained in the ways of the Force by the Jedi Order during the waning years of the Galactic Republic. The Weequay Jedi Master Sora Bulq, a gifted swordsman and fighting instructor, selected Stouff to be his Padawan." and remove "was trained in the ways of the Force by the Jedi Order". You can then source the newly constructed sentence to the Inside guide, only if you don't extrapolate info. JangFett (Talk) 17:41, March 24, 2014 (UTC)
            • Please try it now, although I feel like his affiliation to the Jedi Order is missing now. Clone Commander Lee Talk 18:00, March 24, 2014 (UTC)
              • Well, technically saying Jedi Padawan is implying he's in the Jedi Order. If you wish, you could readd it, but you'll have to source it to an appropriate source. Also, male is currently sourced to the Inside guide, yet in the bio, you have it sourced to the databank. JangFett (Talk) 18:14, March 24, 2014 (UTC)
  • Obi-Wan wasn't a Jedi Master in AOTC; please correct this. I would do this myself, but you should know by now to watch out for these simple mistakes.
    • Oh, shucks, the old Jedi with apprentice is not a Master, albeit he is called "Master". Addressed. Clone Commander Lee Talk 00:10, March 24, 2014 (UTC)
  • Bio- The last sentence of the first paragraph and the first few sentences of the subsequent paragraph makes it seem like Stouff and Bulq only infiltrated the arena and fought the droids. This is not correct, of course, so please see what you could do to correct this.
  • Bio- Executed by whom?
    • Added. Clone Commander Lee Talk 00:18, March 24, 2014 (UTC)
      • Still remains, although this will no doubt be fixed once you take care of the objection relating to Obi-Wan's capture. JangFett (Talk) 17:16, March 24, 2014 (UTC)
  • "Bulq and Stouff defeated a dozen encircling guards" Please do not copy the source verbatim. Paraphrase this specific part of the sentence which is a direct copy from the source.
  • "but the Jedi casualties began to mount and Stouff was killed." This part of the sentence does not fully relate to the first part of the sentence. You're going to have to mention that the droids began to kill the Jedi before mentioning Stouff's death.
  • Try to mention the CIS earlier. I feel that you need to establish where the droids came from and their allegiance.
    • Better? Clone Commander Lee Talk 00:10, March 24, 2014 (UTC)
      • He wasn't captured by the CIS, but rather Geonosians who work for Dooku. Please rewatch AOTC. JangFett (Talk) 00:15, March 24, 2014 (UTC)
        • I know the movie and the last thing we see before him being in the cell is that he fought against a droideka. Plus, the Geonosians are a part of the CIS, aren't they? Clone Commander Lee Talk 00:22, March 24, 2014 (UTC)
  • P&T- Is he Force-attuned or Force-sensitive? If the latter, I wouldn't mention "attuned" since it would create confusion for the readers. Also, if he is indeed Force attuned, then please change the previous mentionings of Force sensitive.
  • That's it for now. This article needs more work, Lee, so please take your time while handling these objections. JangFett (Talk) 23:57, March 23, 2014 (UTC)
  • We know the number of Jedi sent to Geonosis, so you don't have to say "large strike team" in the bio. Check the intro too. JangFett (Talk) 17:12, March 24, 2014 (UTC)
    • Added 200 too the bio, but I'll believe "strike team" alone is enough for the intro. Clone Commander Lee Talk 17:56, March 24, 2014 (UTC)
  • Before I vote, I have one last thing: Where in the Insider guide does it say he's a male? I'm having trouble finding it. After that, where does it say he's a Force sensitive. Check these two and we're good to go. JangFett (Talk) 18:29, March 24, 2014 (UTC)
    • Is there no gender specified in the English version of the sourcebook? The German one calls him "Schüler" (a male pupil). If this is not the case in the English version, then only the ending would suggest a male personality, but we can't be sure on that one. As a Jedi, you have to be Force-sensitive. This is one of the things that is not outright stated, but one of the few things I would take for granted. Clone Commander Lee Talk 18:35, March 24, 2014 (UTC)
    • Another thing: Why did you remove the P&a section? The fact that a well-known swordmaster chose him as his apprentice tells us something about his skills and so does the fact that he was killed fighting on Geonosis. In the current version, the P&t does none of that. Clone Commander Lee Talk 18:39, March 24, 2014 (UTC)
      • Do you have any information that could warrant a P&A? Something about his known abilities? At the moment, I see nothing and you incorrectly used a P&A. Stuff like that could fit in a P&T more. You may put the information back in, but its wording made it pretty redundant. We know nothing of his looks as well, so information is scarce. JangFett (Talk) 18:58, March 24, 2014 (UTC)
      • I still believe that the points I had in the P&a belong there, but my believes are irrelevant. I removed all mentions of his gender and I hope you agree with my point regarding the Force-sensitivity. However, I also killed the mention about him being killed by battle droids, as Geonosians or even a falling stone could have killed him. For me that is speculation and not something minor stuff on his skills, training or even Force-sensitivity. Please let me know if that addresses your objections. Clone Commander Lee Talk 21:06, March 24, 2014 (UTC)
        • Saying "enemies" makes it lean toward the Republic's POV. In order to be neutral, adversary might work better. However, don't take my advice to heart; try out different words. JangFett (Talk) 19:01, March 25, 2014 (UTC)
Attack of the Clone
  • I'd like to see a Bts note regarding the fact that the character's gender and species have not been specified in any source material. CC7567 (talk) 15:51, April 16, 2014 (UTC)
Ecks
  • Apologies for the post-vote objection, but you have him categorized as a male, while your above comment indicates that his gender has not been specified. 1358 (Talk) 18:05, April 16, 2014 (UTC)

Comments

Champion (Bothan Assault Cruiser)

  • Nominated by: 501st dogma(talk) 19:41, March 24, 2014 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: BOOM

(1 ACs/1 Users/2 Total)

Support

  1. Clone Commander Lee Talk 14:01, March 29, 2014 (UTC)
  2. ACvote CC7567 (talk) 02:04, April 18, 2014 (UTC)

Object

Exiled Jedi
  • You missed a redirect, please fix it.
    • That's weird. It wasn't highlighted in yellow, and when I went to my preferences, I could not find the option to turn it back on. Did they remove that feature? (I fixed the redirect)
      • The gadgets have been going on and off lately. To get around this problem, you can create a User:501st dogma/Monobook.css page with — a.mw-redirect {color:darkorange} — on it.--Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 15:57, March 29, 2014 (UTC)
  • Context on the Yuuzhan Vong in the introduction.
    • There.
  • Just making sure, but can the 26 BBY date be sourced directly to the novel?
    • No. I've reffed the 26 ABY parts to the Reader's companion, as that states that the events of the novel occurred that year.
  • "and targeting things like the cruiser's drive nacelles" Could you make this a little more formal?
    • Better?
  • "damaged Champion enough that its drive blew." I am slightly confused as to what the Champion's drive is. Could you try to explain this more clearly?--Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 23:01, March 24, 2014 (UTC)
    • I'm not sure what they mean by drive, so I cant clarify further. I assume its the engines, but I'm not positive. Thanks for the review. 501st dogma(talk) 00:41, March 25, 2014 (UTC)
  • I find the way you refer to the ship like "the deflector shields of Champion" as a little strange. In at least one instance you say "the Champion," which is the way I normally see ship's mentioned. Is there a reason you don't have the "the" in front of the ship name? In any event, the article should be consistent.
    • I've looked through the article and cannot find any "the"s in front of Champ. I did it that way because Balancing Point never had a the in front, although TCSWE did in its entry.
  • Did the explosion kill any of the pilots?
    • Doesn't say
  • Is there any context on the Yuuzhan Vong capital ship?
    • Does that help?
  • I noticed that you sourced some information to Starships of the Galaxy (2001). Is there anything else that could be added to the article from that book?
    • In ship articles, if it doesn't give me the ship's specifics, I generally only give the length and the producer by citing to a different source. This is because the ship could have been modified, for example having two extra guns, a smaller more efficient crew, or so on. I do length and producer because they rarely change.
  • Are there any relevant quotes by Glie'oleg Kru for the article? You could add it to the commanders and crew section.--Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 15:57, March 29, 2014 (UTC)
    • Nope, no quotes for Kru. 501st dogma(talk) 17:40, March 29, 2014 (UTC)
Lee's charge
  • Is there enough info for a commanders and crew section?
    • There - added.
  • Could you give context for the dovin basal?
    • Do you want context the context in the intro? Its currently contextified(?) in the body.
      • I took the liberty of adding the context myself and will support once you had a look at it. Clone Commander Lee Talk 13:24, March 29, 2014 (UTC)
        • Looks good- just changed gravitation to gravity. 501st dogma(talk) 13:51, March 29, 2014 (UTC)
  • To make matters worse, the deflector shields of Champion were yanked from it by the Yuuzhan Vong forces: How?
    • The book doesn't say.
  • If there is not enough for a C&C section, please mention that the admiral was killed (If he was, I don't trust his own article).
    • Added mention of his death in C&C.
  • Always nice to read a ship article. Clone Commander Lee Talk 00:19, March 25, 2014 (UTC)
    • Thanks for the review. 501st dogma(talk) 12:57, March 29, 2014 (UTC)
Jangeth
  • I'll look at the intro first:
  • Please, dogma, when you're referring to a starship, please say "The" before its name. It's more formal that way. The intro is taken care of, but please check the rest of the article.
    • Actually, BP never uses "the" in front of Champion, so that's why I chose to leave it out. If that's not a good reason, I can change it. (I've removed the "thes" for now, but I can re-add them)
      • After a discussion with Tope, I've gotten rid of them once more, as the canon source uses no "thes". 501st dogma(talk) 20:14, April 15, 2014 (UTC)
  • Your usage of "cruiser" in the first two sentences of the intro is redundant—"A New Republic cruiser operational during the Yuuzhan Vong War" You can easily merge that it was operational in the first sentence. It's more proper to introduce it that way than to say its length first.
    • Tweaked it a bit.
  • " the cruiser flew cover for the refugee starships fleeing the doomed planet Kalarba as the Yuuzhan Vong species used a gravity-manipulating dovin basal to bring Kalarba's orbital Hosk Station crashing into the planet." I'm confused—do you mean they sought cover from the Vong? Double check your wording here.
    • The book specifically says that "Champ was flying cover for another refugee convoy." I assume it means that they were covering the retreat of the convoy. Is it okay to leave "flying cover", as the book uses it?
  • "the Champion was destroyed after its deflector shields were lost while it was battling enemy forces" To make it less passive, you could easily tweak the words around a bit by saying "As the Champion fought against enemy forces, it lost its deflector shields, exposing it to enemy fire." or something. Make it flow better.
    • "However, before Hosk Station impacted Kalarba, the Champion lost its deflector shields while it battled enemy forces." The dependent clause of this sentence has no relation to the second part of the sentence. Normally something relating to Kalarba would be mentioned here, but you awkwardly changed the sentence's focus from Kalarba to the Champion. Also what enemy forces? JangFett (Talk) 22:51, April 14, 2014 (UTC)
      • Done.
  • After you take care of that, look at the subsequent sentence:"The Bothan Assault Cruiser exploded, and the resulting detonation caught some New Republic starfighter pilots within the blast." In its current state, you mentioned that it was destroyed twice in two sentences. To avoid another case of redundancy, please correct the previous sentence (see the objection above). JangFett (Talk) 19:41, April 14, 2014 (UTC)
    • Fixed the above two objections in one tweak. Is it less passive now, or do you still want me to tweak the first sentence? Thanks for the review. 501st dogma(talk) 21:04, April 14, 2014 (UTC)
  • "and the resulting detonation caught some New Republic starfighter pilots within the blast." Where the pilots flying out in space? :P JangFett (Talk) 22:51, April 14, 2014 (UTC)
    • Addressed. 501st dogma(talk) 20:14, April 15, 2014 (UTC)
  • There is a disconnect between Champion protecting the convoy while fighting the Vong and then saying the Vond had used a gravity-manipulating dovin basal. Does the novel say when they actually did this? The events preferably should go in chronological order. JangFett (Talk) 23:22, April 15, 2014 (UTC)
Attack of the Clone
  • Starfighter combat and space warfare need to be linked in the intro and body where appropriate.
    • There you go. Could not insert starfigher combat into the intro, but got them both into the body.
  • Is there a specific X-wing model that can be linked instead of X-wing starfighter? CC7567 (talk) 16:04, April 16, 2014 (UTC)
    • No, no model is given. The Jedi use XJs later in the book, but the model Jaina flies at Kalarba and subsequently loses is not identified. Thanks for looking it over. 501st dogma(talk) 20:19, April 16, 2014 (UTC)
  • Sounds like an article for the specific "newly arrived Yuuzhan Vong capital ship that was slightly smaller than a [[Star Destroyer" is warranted. CC7567 (talk) 14:46, April 17, 2014 (UTC)
    • Pow. 501st dogma(talk) 20:18, April 17, 2014 (UTC)

Comments

Unidentified Wookiee worker 2

  • Nominated by: Commander Code-8 You lost the game! 09:38, March 25, 2014 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: Guess who's back! Trying to make a return to semi-active editing and so thought I'd kick off with a nom I let slip by a while ago.

(0 ACs/3 Users/3 Total)

Support

  1. Clone Commander Lee Talk 21:13, March 25, 2014 (UTC)
  2. Code was too addicted to the Wook to leave. :) 501st dogma(talk) 00:31, March 26, 2014 (UTC)
  3. Great to have you back :) Supreme Emperor (talk) 00:46, March 26, 2014 (UTC)

Object

Lee's charge
Exiled Jedi

Comments

Aiwha-3 Squad

  • Nominated by: Clone Commander Lee Talk 10:49, March 25, 2014 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: Got to big for CAN, should be a nice and easy read

(2 ACs/0 Users/2 Total)

Support

  1. Inqvote JangFett (Talk) 23:03, April 15, 2014 (UTC)
  2. ACvote IFYLOFD (Enter the Floydome) 03:40, April 18, 2014 (UTC)

Object

  • Lee, look closely at the infobox. What's wrong with it? JangFett (Talk) 18:20, March 25, 2014 (UTC)
  • In the first two sentences of the history section, you mention "was created." Please either condense the two sentence or vary up your wording.
  • Throughout the article you refer to Aiwha-3 Squad as "squad". I would check all the sources and see if they say "Squad" in a sentence or two. JangFett (Talk) 18:32, April 6, 2014 (UTC)
    • The squad is only mentioned once as "Aiwha-3 Squad" in the novel. Same in the CSWE. Therefore all instances capitalized. Clone Commander Lee Talk 18:39, April 6, 2014 (UTC)
El Jefe

Comments

  • You could mention somewhere that the squad shares its name with the aiwha creature, briefly explaining what it is. Stake black msg 16:12, March 31, 2014 (UTC)
    • Great idea, I added a small mention. Clone Commander Lee Talk 17:26, March 31, 2014 (UTC)
      • Come to think of it, since the article has no image, an image of an aiwha would be interesting (as long as it's not in the infobox) and relevant, but that's up to you. Stake black msg 19:42, March 31, 2014 (UTC)
        • As we don not know if the squad's name is directly related to the Aiwha, I prefer not to. Clone Commander Lee Talk 19:46, March 31, 2014 (UTC)


Azzameen cargo fields

(0 ACs/1 Users/1 Total)

Support

  1. Clone Commander Lee Talk 20:56, March 27, 2014 (UTC)

Object

Lee's charge
  • Context for the Azzameen family in intro and description section please.
    • Contextified in both.
  • A little bit context for Azzameen station would be nice, it could be a planet-based base. (urgh)
    • Also contextified here.
  • Context for both Azzameens. Is (s)he already a rebel at this point or just a businessman.
    • Contextified.
  • You need a date in intro and bio, for now that is infobox-exclusive
    • Added in both, though the infobox one is removed now.
  • In the infobox you say that the containers were moved, while the body only says that the droid lamented they had to be moved. Which one is correct?
    • It is heavily implied by the droid in both the mission itself and the post-mission briefing, though there is nothing that explicitly mentions they were moved. Exact words:
Aeron: "Yeah, and you realize this means the storage area has been compromised."
MK-09: "That means we will have to move all these containers!"
Aeron: "Indeed, but first we need to get home as soon as possible"
―In-mission dialogue.[src]
"This all means the security of our storage areas has been compromised. We will have to relocate all those containers."
―Post-mission brief.[src]
That said, no, nothing explicitly says they were moved. I've removed the date in the infobox.

Comments

  • I added a piece about an alternate outcome to the scenario based on player ability. JorrelWiki-shrinkableFraajic 03:23, March 27, 2014 (UTC)
    • I removed it because it's a cut line/outcome. The game files and sound clips imply that the line offers a differing outcome, but the line is only actually spoken when the mission has already failed. JorrelWiki-shrinkableFraajic 10:32, April 4, 2014 (UTC)


Bree Starlighter

  • Nominated by: Stake black msg 14:38, March 31, 2014 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: A CAN nomination that got unwieldy. Trust me, it ain't easy writing about a real-world Star Wars character.

(0 ACs/2 Users/2 Total)

Support

  1. Clone Commander Lee Talk 14:33, April 7, 2014 (UTC)
  2. Commander Code-8 Felicitations malefactors! 01:33, April 14, 2014 (UTC)

Object

Lee's charge
  • Context for Wookiees in the intro.
    • Lee, context is already given. They're a species. I'm sorry, but I'm not going to disrupt the sentence by going into unnecessary detail, explaining what they look like etc., that's off topic.
      • No it's not given. You can say ...on the Wookiee species... and the sentence is not interrupted at all. Clone Commander Lee Talk 13:04, April 1, 2014 (UTC)
  • Mention her first name when you introduce her in the bio.
    • Good catch.
  • I believe the nickname should be mentioned in the bio.
    • Right.
  • She had fair skin, and sported a blonde and purple hair with a Padawan-like braid. She was also : Please change of of those.
  • Redirect in the BtS.
  • Good job, but what was that? Clone Commander Lee Talk 12:21, April 1, 2014 (UTC)
  • unveiling of Star Tours' first hub on the Earth system: Should this be "in" the Earth system? Clone Commander Lee Talk 12:49, April 7, 2014 (UTC)
    • Yeah, you're right. Corrected. Stake black msg 14:32, April 7, 2014 (UTC)

Comments

Lomrokk

  • Nominated by: Stake black msg 17:12, March 31, 2014 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments:

(0 ACs/1 Users/1 Total)

Support

  1. Commander Code-8 Felicitations malefactors! 23:32, April 14, 2014 (UTC)

Object

Lee's charge
  • Context for Jabba and the rancor. Also, please establish that Jabba's Palace was on Tatooine.
    • Done.
  • His height is infobox-exclusive. You should add this to the P&t and mention that he is above the average of his species.
    • Please make this clearer: He also stood two heads taller than the average 1.80 meters.
  • You need to mention and link his male sentience.
  • Context for gundark and Jabba's Palace.
  • Specify that his color was that of his skin.
  • I'm not sure, buy maybe it would be better if you change this (19" tall) to 19 inches. Clone Commander Lee Talk 17:35, March 31, 2014 (UTC)
    • Thanks for the review! Have a second look. I left out issues with sentience because Gamorreans are all sentient, so it would be redundant (you wouldn't ask for the sentience of a Human character, for instance). Stake black msg 18:49, March 31, 2014 (UTC)
  • As a note, some of the objections above are still unaddressed. Clone Commander Lee Talk 19:44, April 18, 2014 (UTC)
Code-8

Comments

All Stars Burn as One

  • Nominated by: Clone Commander Lee Talk 17:52, April 3, 2014 (UTC) and Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 17:58, April 3, 2014 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: The official anthem of the Galactic Republic! An old CA that grew due to TOR. ExiledJedi did most of the updates, while I was the author of the original article.

(0 ACs/1 Users/1 Total)

Support

  1. Commander Code-8 Felicitations malefactors! 02:51, April 5, 2014 (UTC)

Object

Ecks
  • You kind of overuse "by" in the three first sentences of the history section. Please reword.
  • "By that year,[1] the music was the anthem of the Galactic Republic who fighting the Galactic War against the Sith Empire.[3]" Something's missing here.
  • More to come later. 1358 (Talk) 21:59, April 14, 2014 (UTC)

Comments

Eckerd

(1 ACs/2 Users/3 Total)

Support

  1. Clone Commander Lee Talk 18:18, April 3, 2014 (UTC)
  2. Commander Code-8 Felicitations malefactors! 02:47, April 5, 2014 (UTC)
  3. ACvote Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 03:33, April 13, 2014 (UTC)

Object

Comments

Salarr

(1 ACs/1 Users/2 Total)

Support

  1. Clone Commander Lee Talk 10:59, April 15, 2014 (UTC)
  2. ACvote Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 20:09, April 16, 2014 (UTC)

Object

Lee's charge
  • Could you mention the date in the intro?
    • Done.
  • When Tarnis felt that his cover was in danger of exposure, he had Salarr arrange for Tarnis's "kidnapping" by Black Sun.: Could you change one mention of Tarnis?
    • Done.
  • Nitpicky, but his none existent hair is infobox-exclusive.
  • Great work, like always. Clone Commander Lee Talk 20:07, April 5, 2014 (UTC)

Comments

Unidentified B1 battle droid (gundark nest)

(0 ACs/3 Users/3 Total)

Support

  1. 501st dogma(talk) 21:34, April 8, 2014 (UTC)
  2. Clone Commander Lee Talk 20:29, April 13, 2014 (UTC)
  3. Since I supported the CAN. Corellian PremierJedi symbolThe Force will be with you always 21:02, April 13, 2014 (UTC)

Object

501st
Lee's charge

Comments

Unidentified clone trooper (17's squad)

  • Nominated by: Manoof (talk) 04:28, April 7, 2014 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments:too big for CA after all. WP:VG

(0 ACs/1 Users/1 Total)

Support

  1. Clone Commander Lee Talk 10:50, April 9, 2014 (UTC)

Object

Lee's charge
  • He helped several other clone troopers to defend a barricade from advancing Confederacy of Independent Systems droids, shooting through an opening, and assisted the clone commando RC-1138 and the other troopers to defend the area from attacking droids. He survived the attack and helped in pushing the droids back to a gun emplacement. : Please vary the use of "defend" and "helped" here.
    • Hows that? Thank you thesauruses :P
  • The clone trooper was a male Human clone of the Mandalorian bounty hunter, Jango Fett. He was cloned and trained: "Cloned" is very redundant here. Please replace it, e.g. with born/created.
    • Swapped out created for the last "clone". Not sure if the others can be changed since they are specific nouns.
  • and served as in the Grand Army of the Republic during the Clone Wars: Something is wrong here.
    • Strange, spelling/grammar check didn't even notice a double space...
  • Please mention that the droids are CIS droids in the biography.
    • Done
  • The last two sentences are more form Boss's pPoint of view. Please reword.
    • How's that?
  • Mention his weapon in the p&T. However, then you should put this and the armor in a separate "Equipment" section.
    • Im confused, the Layout Guide says p&T "describes personality traits evident in the source material and how these influence the character's behavior. Examples should be given where possible." Added a bit there and the weapon to equipment section. Manoof (talk) 01:50, April 9, 2014 (UTC)
  • Clone Commander Lee Talk 12:59, April 7, 2014 (UTC)
Jangeth
  • The same birth date issue is present in this article too.
    • Fixed
  • Also like the other article, please source the height to the Encyclopedia.
    • Changed
  • What do you mean by "shooting through an opening" in the intro?
    • Clarified. The opening was between the barricade and the ceiling of the passage.
  • After that, the sentence starts to read awkwardly. Is there any better way to summarize his duties on Geonosis?
    • I think i fixed it, ran it through MS Word and it didn't complain.
  • The redundancy of "Human male" is present in this article too.
    • removed
  • The Kamino sentence in this article is identical to the other Squad 17 clone article. Please fix it.
    • Fixed it. I think lol
  • "As he entered the area, the droids blew through a wall," Who is "he"?
    • Clarified
  • When you say "killing one of the troopers" are you implying 17, 35, or the other clone?
    • The other clone, so I'm not sure how to do this. Originally i had the link to the clone there, but Lee pointed out the link should be earlier with the earlier mention.
  • More to come. JangFett (Talk) 23:17, April 13, 2014 (UTC)
    • I await eagerly. Manoof (talk) 08:52, April 15, 2014 (UTC)

Comments

For this and the below trooper, the indirect mention in the guide is "...separated from the clone troopers...", the clone troopers being these two, 17 and 35


Unidentified clone trooper 2 (17's squad)

  • Nominated by: Manoof (talk) 04:35, April 7, 2014 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: As above WP:VG

(0 ACs/1 Users/1 Total)

Support

  1. Clone Commander Lee Talk 22:48, April 10, 2014 (UTC)

Object

Lee's charge
  • The clone trooper was a male Human clone of the Mandalorian bounty hunter, Jango Fett. He was cloned and trained: "Cloned" is very redundant here. Please replace it, e.g. with born/created.
    • As other guy
  • You should mention that the droids blew up the wall. You can cut the context on the CIS to reduce the intro then.
    • Added, removed
  • Mention his weapon in the P&t. However, then you should put this and the armor in a separate "Equipment" section.
  • Clone Commander Lee Talk 13:02, April 7, 2014 (UTC)
Jangeth
  • Following other clone trooper articles, it's not necessary to include a birth year if there's nothing indicating a clear date. I'd remove it in this article.
    • removed
  • 22 BBY can just be sourced to NEC and Geonosis to the video game. It doesn't require a ref note.
    • How's that?
  • Since the Encyclopedia mentions 1.83 meters, it would be better to use it than the defunct databank.
    • Changed. I can use it to reference his Kaminoan origins as well can't I?
      • Not the 1998 Star Wars Encyclopedia, StarWars.com's Encyclopedia. :P JangFett (Talk) 22:54, April 15, 2014 (UTC)
        • teehee O:-) Manoof (talk) 11:18, April 18, 2014 (UTC)
  • There is no need to mention that he was a Human male in the bio since it's redundant—mentioning clone trooper already indicates that he's a Human male.
    • Oh good, it didn't sit right with me but I figured i had to mention those :D
  • I took care of this, but for future referencing, saying "the bounty hunter, Jango Fett" suggests that Jango is the only bounty hunter, which isn't true.
    • Fixed
  • Once you eliminate the birth year in the bio, the same Kamino mentioning sentence needs to be tweaked: First, you can just say that he was cloned on the world instead of saying "created and trained." Next, you used the word before twice in the same sentence, but this will be taken care of once you remove the birth year.
    • Better?
  • "In 22 BBY, he was deployed to the planet Geonosis in the first battle on that planet" Take a look at my sentence in the intro. Check your grammar here.
    • Similar to above, in that mentioning the first battle of geonosis means i don't need to specifically mention the planet? changed
  • There's no need for an equipment section because the information is minor and could fit within the P&T.
    • Noice
  • There were a number of grammatical errors throughout the article. Please be more careful in the future. I also saw a few cases of: [[Droid|droids]]. There's no need to do that since you can just do [[droid]]s. :P JangFett (Talk) 22:57, April 13, 2014 (UTC)
    • I've been running it through MS word (13 or 10 depending where i am) and it doesn't seem to be picking them up :/ I have to do that as i know my grammar isn't great. On the positive, I do know the difference between its/it's, where/wear/were etc :P Manoof (talk) 08:37, April 15, 2014 (UTC)
  • Here's an issue that I see in both your 17's Squad articles. If the squad is actually commanded by 17, you need to create a new article and link it in both articles. Next: "In 22 BBY, the trooper participated in the Battle of Geonosis alongside clone troopers 17, 35 and a trooper from 17's squad." Is 35 and this clone trooper (the GAN) are of his squad? If so, the intro and bio need to mention this. JangFett (Talk) 22:54, April 15, 2014 (UTC)
    • It is not known (or even inferred) who commands the 4 troopers. In fact, we don't know if they are an actual squad, or just 4 troopers who just happen to have banded together to defend the same area. I mentioned something to this end (on the previous CA i think) and am not sure how exactly to address this issue, since we don't like "it is unknown" type talk :S Manoof (talk) 10:59, April 18, 2014 (UTC)

Comments

  • Without the fluffy context, the article has 233 words at the moment. If you're missing information, now's the time to beef it up. JangFett (Talk) 22:56, April 15, 2014 (UTC)
    • At this rate it won't get to ANY sort of status :/ lol only extra info would be redundant, or unnecessarily detailed, i don't think i should explain exactly how his body moved as it was expelled from the blast, or the exact colour of the wall that blew up... :P Manoof (talk) 11:20, April 18, 2014 (UTC)


Lianorm Raceway

  • Nominated by: Stake black msg 05:57, April 9, 2014 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments:

(0 ACs/2 Users/2 Total)

Support

  1. Clone Commander Lee Talk 13:23, April 9, 2014 (UTC)
  2. Commander Code-8 Felicitations malefactors! 22:38, April 15, 2014 (UTC)

Object

  • More a question than an objection, but is this stuff canon? Clone Commander Lee Talk 11:01, April 9, 2014 (UTC)
    • Racer Rush articles are generally treated as canon. They should be no less canon than Star Wars Episode I: Racer or Racer Revenge, in any case. Stake black msg 13:09, April 9, 2014 (UTC)
      • Just the listing of Skywalker feels wrong, but ok. Clone Commander Lee Talk 13:23, April 9, 2014 (UTC)
        • It doesn't necessarily mean Skywalker was ever there, though. It can be read as "people are betting Skywalker would win this if he ever participated." Stake black msg 13:33, April 9, 2014 (UTC)
Code-8

Comments

Abaron

  • Nominated by: Winterz (talk) 23:23, April 11, 2014 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: Heyoo

(0 ACs/1 Users/1 Total)

Support

  1. Clone Commander Lee Talk 13:35, April 12, 2014 (UTC)

Object

Lee's charge
  • Could we get a little bit context for Korriban and the Dark Council?
    • Done.
      • I did some tweaking in the intro, please see if you're fine with it. Clone Commander Lee Talk 13:35, April 12, 2014 (UTC)
  • A male Sith, he was present in the Sith Academy on Korriban, where he assigned a promising Sith Acolyte to scan several elevated Sith while concerned about them lacking the blood from the original and ancient Sith, which he deemed necessary: That is five times Sith, is there any possibility you could change one or two?
    • I've tweaked it slightly, see if it pleases you.
  • That is all. I'm correct in my assumption that there is no difference between his answers by light/dark side choices? Clone Commander Lee Talk 10:11, April 12, 2014 (UTC)
    • Yes, I explained it in the Bts section. The player may choose to ramble and tell him that he's no one to question others' purity but Abaron practically replies the same. Winterz (talk) 13:29, April 12, 2014 (UTC)
Code-8
Ecks Dee
  • Em dashes are cool, but that's a bit too much. pls fix 1358 (Talk) 19:26, April 15, 2014 (UTC)

Comments

Paarin Minor

(0 ACs/1 Users/1 Total)

Support

  1. Commander Code-8 Felicitations malefactors! 23:21, April 17, 2014 (UTC)

Object

Comments

Scavenger Squadron (pirate)

  • Nominated by: JorrelWiki-shrinkableFraajic 03:44, April 17, 2014 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: From CA to GA, thanks to an overrun of context. Original nomination here.

(0 ACs/0 Users/0 Total)

Support

Object

Lee's charge
  • Please vary your use of "squadron" in the intro.
  • As dogma mentioned on several noms, you don't need links in the quotes if you link to the stuff in the article.
  • If you mention the Battle of Hoth as a timeline help, please give context for it. I would prefer to simply give the year 3 ABY.
  • Any info who sent the squadron to retrieve the probe?
  • Is "Scavenger Squadron" an official name? Sounds more like some kind of description.
  • Please vary your use of "destroyed" in the final sentences.
  • Clone Commander Lee Talk 19:56, April 18, 2014 (UTC)

Comments

  • Picture and quote incoming JorrelWiki-shrinkableFraajic 03:44, April 17, 2014 (UTC)


Duinuogwuin–Gotal conflict

  • Nominated by: </noinclude>Lelal Mekha Old Republic military symbol (Audience Room) 09:46, April 18, 2014 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: A throwaway line from The Thrawn Trilogy

(0 ACs/0 Users/0 Total)

Support

  1. Very interesting. Clone Commander Lee Talk 19:37, April 18, 2014 (UTC)

Object

Comments

  • When you say 'demobilization', do you mean 'demilitarization'? If not, I'm not sure I get it. Otherwise looks great. Stake black msg 13:05, April 18, 2014 (UTC)
  • Also, in the BtS you could acknowledge Zahn's quote. Say he believes the wrong date is the in-universe historians' fault. Stake black msg 13:07, April 18, 2014 (UTC)


T'less

  • Nominated by: 501st dogma(talk) 12:07, April 18, 2014 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: For Tope: Here's another one for you to review :)

(0 ACs/0 Users/0 Total)

Support

Object

Lee's charge
  • Infobox: Something is wrong in the era section.
  • Intro: Context needed for the War, her two companions, Ammorn and the heresy.
  • Bio: Is the New Republic really an organisation? I believe something like "governements" would be more appropiate.
  • Good work. Clone Commander Lee Talk 19:47, April 18, 2014 (UTC)

Comments

  • There is not context available for Sh'simm. 501st dogma(talk) 12:07, April 18, 2014 (UTC)
In other languages
Advertisement | Your ad here

Around Wikia's network

Random Wiki