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Hero of Tython

• Nominated by: Cade Calrayn 07:23, November 4, 2012 (UTC)
• Nomination comments: May I present the culmination of almost eight months of work and dozens of rewrites: the Hero of Tython. This is officially the largest single article I have ever contributed, and I apologize about that in advance to all reviewers.

(1 Inqs/1 Users/2 Total)

Support

Well obviously you put much work into this, to which I would say, put in very well, though while I am on a personal note, not much of a fan for the need of a "Canon" version of someone like this, its otherwise to me a rather good article going here. Plus who cares if its a really long page, I'd read it. --Swtor627 (talk) 06:46, November 5, 2012 (UTC)Swtor627 (Vote struck per policy: Less than 50 mainspace edits -- Cade Calrayn 06:54, November 5, 2012 (UTC))

1. One of your "elite" articles, keep it up. Winterz (talk) 00:02, December 19, 2012 (UTC)
2. Skyrockets in flight, afternoon delight. IFYLOFD ^{(Floyd's crib)} 01:00, March 31, 2013 (UTC)

Object

Winterz

• Check for mentions of Warren Sedoru as a Jedi Master, a mistake you made early and might have forgotten to fix in all the spots. I've found it at least twice in the article, so there might be more.
  • None left.
• How do you know that T-7 was the Knight's companion when he faced the Emperor? Pardon me if I missed the part :c
  • He's required—he's the only non-biological companion, so he won't be affected by the Emperor.
    • Add the explanation in the BtS section.
      • Done.
• Like it was already mentioned, there's still too many redlinks.
  • Done.
    • I know that is isn't necessary, but there's still 2 redlinks and 1 redirect in case you want to deal with them. Winterz (talk) 19:57, November 7, 2012 (UTC)
      • Removed the redirect, I'll get to the redlinks in a little while.
• I've been waiting for this for nearly 5 months. One of the Wiki's largest articles. Amazing work, Cade. Do you have your eyes on another class' project yet? Winterz (talk) 16:55, November 7, 2012 (UTC)
  • Nah, I'm gonna finish the rest of the project. Cade Calrayn 18:40, November 7, 2012 (UTC)
• IMDB as a source? I've been told that it isn't exactly reliable, so I believe you should remove it. Plus I'm sure there are other more reliable sources for that sentence. Winterz (talk) 19:57, November 7, 2012 (UTC)
  • Eh, switched to the game itself. It's in the credits. Cade Calrayn 20:11, November 7, 2012 (UTC)

Driveby... of Tython

• There are way too many images. In a situation like this, where there are no available images of the article's subject, it's better to use images of semi-relevant things sparingly --- it doesn't really add anything to the article to have an image of another new character every two paragraphs, especially when you consider that the article is about the Hero, not the events in which he participated. The relevance of some of the images seems like a pretty big stretch, anyway, with "Kira spent her childhood at the Sith Academy on Korriban" being the most glaring. The overabundance of images honestly detracts from the article rather than benefiting it; I think you'd be better off jettisoning a whole lot of them. Menkooroo (talk) 09:34, November 13, 2012 (UTC)
  • ... but... but.... fine. Cade Calrayn 05:03, November 27, 2012 (UTC)
    • I think you could have a feeewwwww more than what's there now. Every two paragraphs was too much, but with the long stretches of imageless text I see now, it seems like too little. Go for a happy medium! Menkooroo (talk) 05:40, November 27, 2012 (UTC)
      • This is an ongoing process; I'll continue tonight. Cade Calrayn
        • Aaannd we're done! Images added. Cade Calrayn 18:05, February 13, 2013 (UTC)

Coruscant bureaucracy

• Preliminary objection: Some of the headings I feel are mislead. The heading "Knighthood" you may want to change to "Coruscant mission" or something similiar since that section deals with his missions on Coruscant, not his entire knighthood. Also the heading "Supreme Commander" this may be just me but I wouldn't want to confuse it with the Republic Military Supreme Commander.
  • Done.
• I'll have more later. Coruscantfan ^(Talk) 02:39, February 12, 2013 (UTC)
  • Done. Cade Calrayn 16:09, February 13, 2013 (UTC)
• Can you add something under Behind the scenes, maybe under game mechanics, to the effect that for simplicity's sake you haven't added any of the hundreds of missions that the Hero can undertake on various world that are not specifically a part of the class even though they can effect storylines etc.
  • Done.
• Training on Tython: Link for Shan's personnel chambers
  • Done.
• Link for the ancient ruins of the J'daii Coruscantfan ^(Talk) 03:08, March 2, 2013 (UTC)
  • It's Kaleth, which is linked in the preceding paragraph; I simply gave more context on Kaleth by describing it that way. Cade Calrayn 03:13, March 2, 2013 (UTC)
• A lot of these are linking which I would do myself but I'd rather you look at them to make sure I didn't notice you linking them somewhere else and I just missed it cause I'm blind. :)
• "Early Knighthood": Customs station can be linked to Customs Enforcement Division
• When you discuss Carrson and her security team you can probably link that to Unidentified Coruscant Security Force agent. You can also link police officer somewhere in there.
• Also "security forces" here can be linked to CSF, unless you want to mention that in some other way or link it to Law enforcement agency.
• Under "The Architect of Annihilation": and leaked it to his father whose father and is there an article for the father?
• Under "The Power Guard project": Can you vary your use of the word "but" After freeing the agents, the Knight found Chief Rieekan dead, but Special Agent Tander and Agent Diyaz were still alive—but Tander began to panic and decided to abandon the Jedi. Tander ordered Diyaz to pack up and leave, but the Knight thought quickly and gently persuaded the Twi'lek agent to stay, an action that did not pass unnoticed by Diyaz.
• You may have already linked this somewhere but can "commandos" be linked to Republic trooper. commandos as members of Blackstar Squad, a unit from the Republic Special Forces Division
• Under "The Death Mar": Death Mark laser is a redirect
• Alde is also a redirect
• More later. Good job so far, I'm impressed! Coruscantfan ^(Talk) 04:59, March 7, 2013 (UTC)
  • All of the above done. Cade Calrayn 05:12, March 7, 2013 (UTC)

The Floydian attack

• I feel like the intro could be a bit longer. With such a gigantic, titanic article, you have to be leaving some useful info out.
• Intro: "earned a loyal companion in the astromech droid T7-O1." And how did he do this?
• A little more detail on the "Sith plot" in the intro would be appreciated.
• Intro: Context on the Coruscant Aegis squadron. No idea what it is or who it works for.
• Intro: "The events on Coruscant" What events?
• Intro: "turned the entire strike team to the dark side." And how did he do this?
• Intro: "the Hero was freed by the ghost of Master Din" Since when was Din dead?
• Intro: Context on what the Emperor's Wrath is.
  • All of these should have been addressed in the expansion.
• You need to link T7-O1 and "Teeseven" together in the intro. Make it clear they're the same entity.
  • I couldn't do it without making it awkward, so I kept it as only T7-O1 for the intro. Cade Calrayn 03:58, March 1, 2013 (UTC)
    • Make sure you do it in the body then. IFYLOFD ^{(Floyd's crib)} 03:03, March 4, 2013 (UTC)
      • Never mind, I fixed it in the intro for Teeseven.
• Take care of these and I'll move into the body.
• A destiny foreseen: More context is needed on the Sith Emperor and his plots.
• "until he encountered the Jedi Knight from his vision, the Hero of Tython,[12] and began to aid the young Jedi." Doesn't really fit with the timeline.
• Article for the shuttle he takes to Tython?
• Article for the lake?
• You should mention his use of a vibrosword earlier, when he first starts fighting the Flesh Raiders.
• In the description of the fight with Callef, it's sometimes unclear which apprentice you're referring to. Try to refocus it.
• Seeing a lot of "ing" verbs, cut down a little.
• Why did Din send him to speak to Sumari?
• Article for the weapons cache?
• "At this point, the Matriarch was forced to retire because of her illness" What illness? This hasn't been mentioned before.
• Context on Saylew.
• Article for the surveillance devices?
• "whose weakness he believed had allowed the Sith to win the Great War." This is the first time you've mentioned the Great War. Context.
• " Defeating the Flesh Raiders' leader in the process" Is this the same Flesh Raider leader as before?
• "and told the droid to send all of the information on the Forge to Teeseven right away." And what did they learn.
• I'd like more info on the Forge - mention the whole Je'daii connection, what it was and how it was used.
  • Not seeing a change on this one. IFYLOFD ^{(Floyd's crib)} 01:01, March 5, 2013 (UTC)
    • Woops. Since there's actually a question as to whether the Forge was used by the Je'daii, I simply went with "the ancient Jedi". Cade Calrayn 01:18, March 5, 2013 (UTC)
• Link to his battle with Morr?
• Also, contextify Morr as a Nautolan. You call him that without context or a link to Nautolan.
• "misguided Nautolan" "Misguided" seems POV.
• Would it be feasible to have an article for the Hero's lightsaber?
  • Not in my opinion, as the Hero possibly gets a second one almost right away, and they could potentially change lightsabers frequently.
• Don't start sentences with "but". Have seen this multiple times in this section alone.
  • All of the above done. Cade Calrayn 04:54, March 4, 2013 (UTC)
• Will continue later. IFYLOFD ^{(Floyd's crib)} 03:03, March 4, 2013 (UTC)
• Thar be redlinks. IFYLOFD ^{(Floyd's crib)} 01:01, March 5, 2013 (UTC)
  • Handled. Cade Calrayn 01:18, March 5, 2013 (UTC)
• Article for the shuttle that he goes to Carrick Station in?
• Context on the "way of the Jedi Sentinel or that of the Jedi Guardian"?
• "and when the astromech remarked on how much Coruscant had changed, the droid told the Knight" This would make more sense if it was the Knight telling the droid the information after the astromech made the remark, or vice versa. Is this correct?
  • No, Teeseven's the one talking. Clarified.
• "about the Sith's Sacking of Coruscant and the death of Teeseven's previous master, Jedi Master Ven Zallow." In addition, context on this stuff.
  • Gave context on the Sacking the first time it appears, when it's mentioned about Bengel Morr, but also gave context on Zallow.
• You should probably say the Planet Prison is a superweapon right when you introduce it. For example: "his invention, a superweapon known as the Planet Prison."
• Article for the Coruscant security network?
• "the Knight easily defeated Garn" Is it 100% correct to say he "easily" defeated him? I may be wrong, but I imagine the difficulty would vary depending from player to player.
• When describing Tarnis' kidnapping, you take a little while to actually identify the kidnappers as Black Sun. You should do so earlier.
• Same paragraph: Two straight sentences with "locked in a firefight/stalemate". Vary it.
• You say the Masters depart Coruscant, but where exactly are they going?
• "manipulating both the Republic and Black Sun to his own ends:" And what ends were those? Yes he faked the kidnapping, but what was he doing in the first place?
• Article for the guy who tried to shoot the Hero in the back? Is that feasible or does it change?
  • Nah, he's one of five generic NPCs who look identical.
• You should probably identify the other two hologram Sith as Praven and Nefarid earlier than you do.
• You should also give context as to Darth Angral's connection to the Sacking of Coruscant, to make this comment: "and—unlike the Sacking of Coruscant—there would be no mercy this time" make more sense. IFYLOFD ^{(Floyd's crib)} 02:53, March 6, 2013 (UTC)
  • All of the above done. Cade Calrayn 03:20, March 6, 2013 (UTC)
• "and spoke with Grand Master Shan via holocomm and General Suthra," This is kinda awkward here.
• Wait, doesn't Carsen already have a Master? Kiwiiks, correct? Any information on why this change is made?
• "hack into the facility's transmission." What facility? The Sith listening post? The spaceport?
• Article for the taxi station?
  • Changed to "outskirsts of the base," as it's not exactly a true taxi station.
• Also, article for the island?
• "The astromech found the record of Angral's transmission to Coruscant almost immediately and was able to trace the Sith Lord's signal back to the source and recover a copy of the files that Tarnis had sent to his father." Now this is a real run-on sentence right here. Split it up or rearrange it.
• Article for the battle in the spaceport with Ferav?
  • It and the raid on the Imperial base are both combined into the overarching Mission to Ord Mantell.
• "haunted by strange beasts" Such as?
  • Changed to "wild," I'm not sure it's really necessary to specify the different species.
• "that Suthra would later weaponize in the Cold War, including the Planet Prison." Didn't Tarnis do this though?
• Can we get a link for the cloaking device the Sith were using?
• Who exactly was Watcher One? Was he a simple agent or something more than that?
• Article for the tracking relays, perhaps?
• The whole deal with Watcher One and Godera in the factory needs to be made clearer. It seems that the body that the Hero finds is actually Godera's assistant, correct? There needs to be a link to that assistant, and that fact needs to be made clearer. Or, was the "assistant" that Watcher One shot the droid? IFYLOFD ^{(Floyd's crib)} 01:20, March 7, 2013 (UTC)
  • All of the above done. Cade Calrayn 03:06, March 7, 2013 (UTC)
• "Suthra then warned the Jedi about the project itself," Wait, what project? You never said they were gonna deal with a project.
• "After the Treaty," You should probably clarify what treaty this was.
• Your capitalization of the "project" in "Power Guard Project" is not consistent.
• "but the whole area had become hostile to outsiders in the last few days" How so?
• "who was concerned that the Imperials had made them:" Made them what?
• Also, context on omega alert.
• "he congratulated the Jedi on the defeat of Ferav and Watcher One, and that he had been waiting for the Knight" He congratulated the Jedi that he had been waiting for the Knight?
• You describe Galen asking the Hero to kill him twice, which is unnecessary.
  • It's because he asks the Hero to do it twice.
• Context on death mark.
• "Game-changing" seems pretty colloquial.
• Article for the Imperial ship?
• Context on the Sith Emperor. Also, he goes unlinked.
  • He's already been linked and given context at the top of the article.
    • Riiiiiiiight... my bad. IFYLOFD ^{(Floyd's crib)} 00:07, March 11, 2013 (UTC)
• Link for the duel with Valis?
  • It's linked in the {{Main}} template.
• Context on the First Son. Any distinction from a normal Child? IFYLOFD ^{(Floyd's crib)} 00:58, March 8, 2013 (UTC)
  • All done.
• "Carsen seemed very concerned about her master's failure to report back in," But Kiwiiks isn't her Master anymore, correct? The Hero is.
• "the trio landed their craft at the spaceport in Anchorhead," The trio? The Hero, Carsen and who?
• Article for the mountains where the Tatooine facility was located?
• "The only things he did attack were Brrik's droids, telling the scientist that they were no threat and did not deserve to die." From the way this sentence is worded, it seems the antecedent of "they" is Brrik's droids. I assume this is not the case.
• "The Knight successfully defeated Praven in combat" I feel like the "successfully" is unnecessary here.
• "so that Angral would spare him further humility," Spared further humility? Do you mean "further humiliation"?
• "Praven then informed his enemy that his honor demanded that the Sith surrender to Angral," Wait, Praven would surrender to Angral? Not the Hero? I'm not exactly following this.
  • Clarified.
• "One of the founding worlds of the Republic, Alderaan had been embroiled in a brutal civil war for much of the past decade over which noble house would take the throne, and the Republic was backing House Organa in opposition to both the Imperial-sponsored House Thul and the independent House Ulgo, whose leader Bouris Ulgo—a former Republic general—had declared himself king not long after the last queen's death in the early days of the Cold War." This is a looooooooooooong sentence. Split it up.
• Article for the holorelays, perhaps?
• I think you should identify the research facility as the Mensaav Laboratory right when you introduce it.
• "The Mirialan had given Nefarid's forces the lab's location," Nefarid? When did he come into play? Is this when they learned he was involved? If so, that should be changed.
• "Nefarid contacted the Jedi several times and taunted his opponent," And how exactly did he do this?
• I'm seeing you call Aleyna Hark by her first name. This is a no-no.
• Could we get an article for the Din-Angral battle? It seems that there was a duel of some sort.
• "Nefarid allowed his Force cloak to fade" Could you possibly mention this earlier, perhaps as the reason he was in the shadows? IFYLOFD ^{(Floyd's crib)} 00:07, March 11, 2013 (UTC)
  • All done. Cade Calrayn 02:29, March 11, 2013 (UTC)
• Seeing some contractions in your writing. Remove these, they aren't encyclopedic tone.
• "He had planted a tracker aboard the Oppressor at the cost of his own life" How is this particular action "at the cost of his own life"? Was he killed while doing this? Was he on the ship for that particular purpose?
• "Carsen believed that Angral could only do so much damage to the planet with one ship, but Godera countered her by reminding everyone of Taris" This requires some additional context, since you don't mention previously anywhere that the devastation of Taris was by just one ship.
  • Specified about the Leviathan.
• "a reminder that proved correct when the Knight arrived in-system, as Uphrades had been devastated." Could we get just a touch of info on exactly what was done to the planet, if possible?
  • Gave it further context, but it's not explained in-game until Godera discusses the Desolator during that conversation.
• Is an article for the Sith assassin who holds the Daybreaker's command crew hostage possible, or is he just a random NPC?
• Same thing for the Sith apprentice that attacks them on the Oppressor in the Showdown section.
  • Both are random.
• "dispatched boarding pods to eliminate them, and Captain Dal was confident that there were no survivors." No survivors from the boarding pods? It's unclear.
• You should identify Senessa as a Mirialan when you first introduce her.
• "The Mon Calamari began preparations for food rationing on the capital after learning of what had transpired on the Daybreaker," After learning what had transpired on the Daybreaker, not what happened to Uphrades?
• "Angral had departed Uphrades so quickly because he had already chosen a new target." Make it completely clear that this "new target" is Tython.
• Is it possible to link to the reactor relays?
  • Eh, they're really just reactors.
• When Carsen is possessed by the Emperor, it might be beneficial to remind the reader that this is a result of her being a Child of the Emperor, instead of in the next paragraph.
• "Released from the Emperor's will briefly," Any reason why this came about?
  • It's just how the cinematic plays out.
• "Angral reminded her of her role as a Child of the Emperor" And what exactly is that role?
  • Changed to heritage, it was my attempt to explain why she was possessed.
• "and that he would not allow those futures to come to pass." What futures?
  • No idea, it's just what the Emperor says.
• Wouldn't it just be better to just refer to the Hero of Tython as the "Hero" after he receives that title? It could help avoid any confusion that comes with just calling him the "Knight", especially in situations where other Jedi Knights are involved.
  • I use Knight and Jedi to vary up the wording. Would it be better if I used "Hero" every time (or almost every time?)
    • I would say so. Considering that he comes into contact with many Jedi over the ensuing events, it would be best to try and clear up any potential confusion. IFYLOFD ^{(Floyd's crib)} 23:47, March 19, 2013 (UTC)
• Link for the Lower Industrial Sector?
  • Already linked in the Nar Shaddaa section.
    • My bad, must have missed it. IFYLOFD ^{(Floyd's crib)} 23:47, March 19, 2013 (UTC)
• Will continue soon. IFYLOFD ^{(Floyd's crib)} 00:55, March 15, 2013 (UTC)
  • All done.
• Article for the ship that crashed on Tatooine?
• "Din's spirit instructed his former student to travel to Tatooine, where a ship had crashed in the desert," So does Din order the Hero to investigate this or something? The way this is worded the two seem unrelated.
• I think a little more context on the whole crashed ship deal is needed. Who was he taking the logs to and what exactly happened? Do we know?
• Article for Bugtown?
• In the last couple sentences of Battlefields of Balmorra's first paragraph, you use "facility" four times. Vary up the word choice.
• Could there be an article for the Imperial computer network on Balmorra?
  • There's not really enough information on it, or really a need for one, in my opinion.
• "as a result of the decade-long occupation," Decade-long? Earlier you say they had been holding out against the Imperials for over thirty years.
  • Typo.
• Article for Gorinth Outpost?
• Could we perhaps get a link for the Imperial capture of Camp Conquest?
  • Eh, that's really a part of the larger Battle of Balmorra, so I'm not sure it needs its own article.
• I'm assuming the Imperial commander of Camp Conquest is just a random NPC, correct?
• Article for Remmy?
• Also, some context on how Remmy knows Doc, since you say he was "surprised to see" Doc. More to come soon. IFYLOFD ^{(Floyd's crib)} 23:47, March 19, 2013 (UTC)
  • All done. Cade Calrayn 00:55, March 20, 2013 (UTC)
• "The Kel Dor asked the Hero and company to find and help Sajar, as the military base would fall without Jedi aid, and the Hero received another visit from Master Din's ghost warning the Knight to aid Sajar just before the group set off for the planet." Don't like the flow of this sentence, I think these thoughts should be brought up separately.
• "was guarding a Republic military base on Quesh," You should conclusively identify this as the Adrenal Research Facility the first time you mention it.
• Article for the Imperial officer who recognized Sajar? Doesn't seem like he actually appears, so I bet one is possible.
• "while the Knight defended the facility's entrance with the Republic defenders." Defended with defenders, try to vary up the word choice.
• The Emperor's Wrath is Scourge, correct? Identify him as such. Although the Hero might not know him, he's already been introduced, and revealed as the Emperor's Wrath, earlier in the article.
• "The strike team's target on the planet was the ship of an Imperial scientist" Link for this ship?
• Article for the SIS raid on the Nar Shaddaa intelligence base... and perhaps the base itself?
• "an abandoned outpost that used to belong to the Ortolan species." It just belonged to the species itself? Was it a colony of some sort?
• Link for the forward outpost that Narezz defends?
• What exactly is Grossh's role? Is he some sort of chief?
  • No idea, I think he's just a lieutenant or something, but I'm not sure.
• "The White Maw pirates had made a base in a spire in the middle of the trench," Is this the same as the Firefrost place? If it is, identify it as such. If not, new link.
• "Sergeant Rusk had made it out alive as well&, with his squad intact." Were you going to put an "and" here, or is this just a typo?
• Will continue tomorrow. IFYLOFD ^{(Floyd's crib)} 00:55, March 24, 2013 (UTC)
  • All done.
• "When the Hero contacted Braga back on the ship, the Jedi Master praised the Knight for the mission's success and ordered the Jedi back to Tython. Back on the Order's homeworld," Major Chris Berman here. "Backbackbackback..."
• "However, their conversation was interrupted by Grand Master Shan, Masters Jaric Kaedan and Bela Kiwiiks, and Jomar Chul. While she still supported the plan," Who is "she" in this scenario? You just mentioned four different Jedi.
• Seeing some tense issues in the Descent into darkness section. In fact, I've seen them here and there throughout the article; you might want to give this a closer look.
• "to find Lord Scourge—the Emperor's Wrath from Quesh—" You already identified him as such in the last section. Fix this.
• Is it really accurate to continue calling him a "young Jedi"? He certainly seems to be a veteran at this point.
• "and Scourge ignored the Hero's threats to politely ask if the group should leave before more guards arrived." I'm not sure what's going on here. Is Scourge the one asking? Or is the Hero threatening to ask?
• "few others had broken free of the Emperor's hold." Any particular reason you link to Malak here? I mean, he's already linked in the article, but he could be mentioned if it applies.
  • Meh, I think Scourge references Malak in a later conversation, but that's not related here.
• Will continue with "Holocaust" soon. IFYLOFD ^{(Floyd's crib)} 03:37, March 25, 2013 (UTC)
  • All of the above done. Cade Calrayn 04:13, March 25, 2013 (UTC)
• "Belsavis was a strange world," Strange seems POV to me.
• "At the cost of her own life, Hareth was buying time for her lover Krannus to complete his real plan, and the two Sith" Who is the second Sith? Is Krannus there all of a sudden?
• Could we get an article for the sub-dermal tracking chips? They seem unique enough.
• What exactly are the Blood of Talath? Are they a prison gang? Just calling them a "group" is a little vague.
• "Rayfel revealed that the scientists were not just hostages—" Well then what were they?
• "Taldine's scans were accurate—Doctor Gantrell was deep in the prison," You should mention these scans a little earlier, when the Hero goes into the area following Taldine's "advice" - it seems that the advice is that Gantrell is in Block J-9.
  • Bah, I was wrong, it's the scientists who told the Knight were to go.
• "The red-skinned Imperial warned the Hero" Who is this? Is this Krannus?
• Could we perhaps get a link for hyperspace core?
  • Already linked higher up at its first mention.
• Article for Warden Playt?
• "and she began to taunt Chul about their secret relationship" Their secret relationship? Context please.
• "Before leaving, Chul apologized for his previous opinion of the Knight" Which was? I'm assuming it was negative. IFYLOFD ^{(Floyd's crib)} 01:24, March 27, 2013 (UTC)
  • All done. Cade Calrayn 01:37, March 27, 2013 (UTC)
• "Landing aboard the Republic's orbital station," This is over Voss, correct? Say so.
• What is the Flamewood? Is it a forest?
• Perhaps an article for Tala-Reh's camp?
• "forcing the Jedi to cut the three down with a sweep of a lightsaber." This makes it sound like there's one big sweep that kills all three. However, I'm sure the events of the battle vary from player to player.
• "Phraken-Nal excused himself to speak with the scouts," What scouts? Who else was there with them?
• Context on the Gormak Guardian.
• Wait, are the Gormak Guardian and the vorantikus one and the same? The way you're describing the dialogue before the fight makes it seem possible.
  • Yep, they're the same.
• "and the Sith sorcerer was furious to learn that the Mystic had betrayed him when Tala-Reh arrived moments after the Knight." Did he really only learn this at this precise moment? Not when the Hero showed up in the first place?
  • Yeah, he actually is rather confused during the conversation and doesn't know how the Hero found him until Tala-Reh shows up; then he realizes that Valen-Da betrayed him and gets pissed.
• You should probably provide some context on Sel-Makor when you first mention it. Is it some sort of dark side entity?
• "and the sorcerer was soon laid low by the Hero's blade." Laid low? Not only does this sound vaguely sexual, I have no idea what it's supposed to mean.
• Shouldn't there be a link to the Battle of Corellia in the Valiant section?
• More to come. IFYLOFD ^{(Floyd's crib)} 04:20, March 29, 2013 (UTC)
  • All done. Cade Calrayn 20:11, March 29, 2013 (UTC)
• "but the Grand Master suspected that Master Braga would be able to block the Republic's efforts using his knowledge." Using his knowledge of what?
  • No idea; it's just what Shan says.
• "the Hero rescued Unaw Aharo—now a Jedi Knight—" You link to Unaw Aharo, but "now a Jedi Knight" makes it sound like we should already be aware of who he is.
  • Bah. He's the Bith apprentice from Tython.
• Perhaps a link for the apartment building Aharo is in? This part: "some of the Corellians had paid with their lives for allowing him to use the building as his base," seems to make it unique enough.
• What about the tunnels under the shipyards? Enough there?
  • Not really.
• "Leaping to the Jedi Master's defense, the Knight somersaulted over the two assassins and cut them down with a single sweeping cut before they could react." Not an objection, but I'm assuming this is a cutscene, right?
  • Yep.
• "the Togruta Master warned the Supreme Commander that she had never fully recovered from Tatooine." How so?
• Link for the Labor Valley?
• "was willing to attack the Imperial capitol with an invasion fleet in order to buy the Knight time." Capitol or capital? Seems like the second one fits better.
• "the Hero was forced to fend off blow after blow from the various Emperors," I don't really like this wording. There was only one actual Emperor there.
  • They're phantoms, but they still hurt you.
• So there's the bio. Will resume with P&T soon. IFYLOFD ^{(Floyd's crib)} 01:05, March 30, 2013 (UTC)
  • All done. Cade Calrayn 01:15, March 30, 2013 (UTC)
• "but she was unwilling to allow her villagers to kill the Padawan who had aided them." I know this Padawan is the Hero, but the way you write this sentence as a whole seems to differentiate this Padawan and the Hero.
• "The Knight made frequent use of meditation to center one's emotions and heal," To center one's emotions? Or just his?
• "Able to inspire even the most downtrodden and broken soldiers to follow the Jedi into battle," Does "the Jedi" mean the Hero in particular? As it reads now it seems like you mean the Jedi in general.
• "As the Knight traveled across the galaxy, these five individuals joined the Jedi's quest, taking a place aboard the crew of the Hero's ship." Doesn't this sentence really say the same thing as the one before?
• "while the ambassador had resigned after the attempt, he had lived a long and prosperous life afterwards thanks to Teeseven, and to the Hero was a success." What was a success? The ambassador or T7's mission?
• "despite her misgivings about what she felt from their enemy's mind." Which was...?
• "The Padawan's bravest moments on Tython" Isn't this kinda POV?
  • Changed to in Din's opinion
• Is there really nothing more about his Force abilities that can go in the P&A?
  • Nah, there's a lot of difference between the Guardian and the Sentinel. The Guardian uses the Force more than the Sentinel, and they've got different abilities.
• And that's it. This was... big. But it was good. One of the very best I've ever read, actually. Don't tell anyone I actually complimented you. :P IFYLOFD ^{(Floyd's crib)} 00:51, March 31, 2013 (UTC)
  • All done. Thanks. Cade Calrayn 00:56, March 31, 2013 (UTC)

Winterz, again

• It needs to be updated with information from the "Rise of the Hurt Cartell" expansion. Winterz (talk) 03:18, April 12, 2013 (UTC)
  • I noticed your addition to the Bts, but that is a no-no. I've been watching it carefully and each class has unique storylines, so that addition is very much incorrect. Winterz (talk) 03:57, April 12, 2013 (UTC)
    • That is most definitely not true, Winterz. I've watched a trooper play the Republic storyline on YouTube, and it's the exact same story as the one I'm currently playing as a Knight. There are separate storylines for the Repubic and the Empire, though. Cade Calrayn 04:01, April 12, 2013 (UTC)
      • My bad then. Winterz (talk) 04:07, April 12, 2013 (UTC)

Comments

• There's too many redlinks! KILL. 501st dogma^(talk) 12:35, November 4, 2012 (UTC)
• I don't feel this warrants an objection, but i think it would be good if the class images from the SWTOR website were used in the Bts, maybe even as a small gallery or something. Commander Code-8 ^{To say hi, press 42} 09:43, November 6, 2012 (UTC)
• "The Hero of Tython was a powerful Jedi Knight". Isn't that a POV? Powerful in relation to what? Says who? Stake black ^msg 17:26, January 17, 2013 (UTC)
  • Nope. Almost everyone in the game says the Hero's incredibly powerful (including the Emperor), and the OOU Encyclopedia calls them one of the most powerful Jedi seen in generations. Cade Calrayn 17:30, January 17, 2013 (UTC)
    • The fact that everyone says it is still POV, though. A good compromise would be something along the lines of "widely regarded as one of the most powerful Jedi seen in generations". Stake black ^msg 17:34, January 17, 2013 (UTC)
      • It's not POV if the out-of-universe book calls them a powerful Jedi - and it's not just Jedi who say the Hero's powerful, the Emperor himself (the Knight's mortal enemy) calls the Jedi incredibly powerful. POV is for when there's only one side of the argument. Cade Calrayn 17:38, January 17, 2013 (UTC)
        • Stake has a point Cade. Just saying the he was powerful is POV. You must say something like "considered by many as a very powerful Jedi" or something within those lines. Winterz (talk) 17:29, March 13, 2013 (UTC)
          • Again, no, I don't. The Encyclopedia says they're powerful, and as long as we have the outdated but sourced statement that Palpatine is the most powerful Sith Lord, there's no grounds for removing an OOU statement. Cade Calrayn 17:50, March 13, 2013 (UTC)
            • Just a note, I have been required to reword POV statements even when OOU sources confirmed those statements. As for the use of "powerful," however, I don't really see a problem. It'd be something else if he was claiming the Hero was more powerful than someone else. MasterFred^(Whatever) 14:37, May 19, 2013 (UTC)

Notes from MJ

I was asked to copy-edit this three months ago and am just now getting to it. I will leave myself notes here regularly to keep track of where I last stopped and may also use this section to ask Cade questions if needed. Actual objections, if any, will be placed in the proper section above.

• Cade: please check that I correctly interpreted the last sentence of the intro. I slightly rephrased it to avoid the implication that the awards were themselves "despite the Emperor's power", but I'm unsure if the awards were for defeating him or for action in general over the course of the war.
  • No, that's fine. Cade Calrayn 01:40, November 26, 2012 (UTC)
• Continue from Hero of Tython#Biography. —MJ— ^{Training Room} 05:07, November 25, 2012 (UTC)
• Your "M" key stutters. :P
• On a more serious note, I'm not finding much to change so far.
• Continue from Hero_of_Tython#Strike_of_the_Desolator. —MJ— ^{Training Room} 04:27, November 27, 2012 (UTC)
• I'm not sure what this is supposed to mean (under "Ord Mantell"): "travel to either Taris and Nar Shaddaa". It should be either "both Taris and Nar Shaddaa" or "either Taris or Nar Shaddaa", but combining "either" with "and" doesn't work. Which is it?
  • Should be "both". Cade Calrayn 04:19, November 30, 2012 (UTC)
• Continue from Hero_of_Tython#Hunting_the_Emperor. —MJ— _{Council Chambers} 04:16, November 30, 2012 (UTC)
• Continue from Hero_of_Tython#The_Emperor.27s_War. —MJ— ^{Jedi Council Chambers} 04:43, December 2, 2012 (UTC)
• The quote under "Holocaust" sounds like it's missing a word: "The Emperor has only true goal"
  • Fixed.
• Link stuff: I removed the link to Before the Republic era because that's an OOU publishing era, not an IU era, and thus shouldn't be linked to outside the BTS. Also, I changed the Executor (Imperial rank) link to Executor (Sith rank), as the former is specifically part of Palpatine's Empire and the two should be kept separate.
  • Alright, I'll create that soon.
• Continue from Hero_of_Tython#Personality_and_traits. —MJ— ^{Training Room} 03:24, December 8, 2012 (UTC)
• Please double-check my comments from the last session.
• Under "Relationships" → "Fideltin Rusk", check for a missing word here: "He also believed that the Jedi Code was something that greatly improve the Republic military."
  • Fixed.
• In the BTS, I removed the reference to Forum:CT:TOR and video game canon. It's not necessary to source a statement that the article makes a certain arbitrary assumption, and the link violates Wookieepedia:Avoid self-references, specifically the section on "Community and website feature references".
  • Alright.
• Also in the BTS, I would suggest finding new references to replace both of the ones in the second paragraph under "Name and identity". The ones there now violate the rule that Wookieepedia is not a source. Something from the official TOR website would be ideal.
  • Done.
• And I'm done. Good thing I have no intentions of ever playing TOR, as I'm thoroughly spoiled on the Knight class story now. :P —MJ— _Comlink 03:52, December 16, 2012 (UTC)
  • Thanks. Cade Calrayn 20:51, December 27, 2012 (UTC)

Wraith Squadron (redux review)

• Redux comments: Article was Reduxed per INQ Meeting 54. Reason: Over 80 kb of new information added following a Mercy Kill update.
• Date added: December 16, 2012
• Changes since last review: diff

(0 Inqs/1 Users/1 Total)

Support

1. Makes me want to write up some X-Wing noms :P Supreme Emperor (talk) 04:33, May 16, 2013 (UTC)

Object

Cadeth

• I've noticed that your character naming is a little sporadic throughout - a lot of characters, Ton Phanan especially, are referred to by their full, first, or last names at various places throughout the article. Shouldn't you make those consistent?
  • It's more consistent now. For readability/clarity purposes, the naming convention is not truly consistent (and shouldn't be IMO), but I'm happy to discuss any further changes you feel need to be made on a case-by-case basis. Atarumaster88 ^{(Talk page)} 15:55, March 20, 2013 (UTC)
• The BTS references need to be converted to {{Cite_web}}.
  • Converted. Atarumaster88 ^{(Talk page)} 14:42, March 27, 2013 (UTC)
• Other than that, good work. Cade Calrayn 18:53, January 30, 2013 (UTC)
  • These are on my list, thanks. Atarumaster88 ^{(Talk page)} 03:19, February 9, 2013 (UTC)
    • With regards to the character naming, Jesmin Ackbar is more frequently mentioned by full name due to the repeated appearances of Gial Ackbar in the prose. The other adjustments are in progress. Atarumaster88 ^{(Talk page)} 02:30, February 18, 2013 (UTC)
    • A similar convention occurs with Lara Notsil, only in the segment where her ostensible brother, Tavin Notsil, is mentioned. Atarumaster88 ^{(Talk page)} 02:00, February 19, 2013 (UTC)
    • A similar convention occurs in the YVW section, where both Luke and Mara Jade Skywalker are named with their full name since both Jedi are present in the mission to Coruscant. A preference for full name is also used in sections where multiple Solos are mentioned. Atarumaster88 ^{(Talk page)} 17:46, March 1, 2013 (UTC)
• Maybe an article for the unsafe safe house and the tapcaf safe house on Coruscant?
  • Done. Atarumaster88 ^{(Talk page)} 14:36, May 20, 2013 (UTC)
• Also, you can make use of the new duplicate-linking tool in the toolbox section of the sidebar. You have to enable it in Preferences first though. Cade Calrayn 05:29, April 26, 2013 (UTC)
• Other than that, it's great. Cade Calrayn 16:33, April 3, 2013 (UTC)

Glancing by

• Should the Gray Squadron temporary designation be mentioned and bolded in the intro?
  • Done. Atarumaster88 ^{(Talk page)} 14:47, March 27, 2013 (UTC)
• It might be a good idea to further sub-section the "Members" section, i.e. Antilles and the original roster under something like ===Original roster=== and then further additions subsectioned as necessary. Currently there are a lot of subsections without much apparent organization.
  • Hmm. There's three major sub-divisions I can think of here: the Zsinj-era/GCW Wraiths, the YVW-era new Wraiths, and then the 40 ABY Wraiths. I could also distinguish the original roster from people like Castin Donn and Shalla Nelprin? Would those three/four sub-sections be enough? Do you have a preference between the 3 or 4? Atarumaster88 ^{(Talk page)} 14:47, March 27, 2013 (UTC)
    • I think chronology and dates would be a good option—even if there are some overlaps, some subdivision would be helpful. CC7567 ^(talk) 14:28, March 29, 2013 (UTC)
      • I've taken a stab at it; let me know what you think and I'll make the necessary adjustments. Atarumaster88 ^{(Talk page)} 21:55, April 2, 2013 (UTC)
        • Minor, but WP:DASH needs to be employed correctly with the dates in the section names. CC7567 ^(talk) 20:14, April 3, 2013 (UTC)
          • Fixed. Atarumaster88 ^{(Talk page)} 16:04, April 23, 2013 (UTC)
• Not required by policy, but ideally all non-templated citations should use {{Cite web}}. CC7567 ^(talk) 20:08, March 9, 2013 (UTC)
  • Done. Atarumaster88 ^{(Talk page)} 14:47, March 27, 2013 (UTC)

Cav

• citing personnel expenses, - should that be "personal" expenses, or am I missing the point of the phrase?
  • It should be "personnel." Ackbar was saying that pulling experienced pilots and commandos from other units would be a heavy drain on New Republic personnel. I can rephrase if you think it's unclear. Atarumaster88 ^{(Talk page)} 16:18, April 23, 2013 (UTC)
• Can we get some ranks thrown in for characters upon first appearance? Especially since Antilles' bet involves his eventual promotion.
  • Added some ranks. Atarumaster88 ^{(Talk page)} 16:18, April 23, 2013 (UTC)
• Context on Jesmin and Eurrsk upon first mention is needed.
  • Contextified. Atarumaster88 ^{(Talk page)} 16:18, April 23, 2013 (UTC)
• Really shouldn't have started this close to midnight my time. Will carry on tomorrow. - Sir Cavalier of One^{(Squadron channel)} 23:17, April 3, 2013 (UTC)
• Infobox - under headquarters, would the Borleias base during the Vong war be appropriate, as well as the bases the Wraiths used during Mercy Kill?
• Article for the Teradoc mission needs to be created and linked to.
  • Done. Atarumaster88 ^{(Talk page)}
• Daala's ouster - can you be specific as to who is meant here? The ouster was effectively the Jedi Order, but if I read the article right, Maddeus was the one to give Loran the assignment - and he wasn't introduced until Mercy Kill.
  • Clarified, I think. Atarumaster88 ^{(Talk page)} 21:38, April 24, 2013 (UTC)
• Do we have an article for the ersatz Rogue Squadron?
  • We do now. Atarumaster88 ^{(Talk page)} 21:35, May 9, 2013 (UTC)
• Context for Tycho, Wes and Hobbie upon first mention
  • Contextified. Atarumaster88 ^{(Talk page)} 16:18, April 23, 2013 (UTC)
• I think the location of Folor Base could be worked into the article
  • Included. Atarumaster88 ^{(Talk page)} 16:18, April 23, 2013 (UTC)
• Do we have articles for the kleptomaniac and Talz candidates?
  • We had the klepto; I made one for the Talz. Both are linked now. Atarumaster88 ^{(Talk page)} 21:48, April 24, 2013 (UTC)
• Context for Runt and Sarkin upon first mention.
  • Contextified. Atarumaster88 ^{(Talk page)} 16:18, April 23, 2013 (UTC)
• Later, Ekwesh revealed to Tainer that he had multiple minds or personalities, - please clarify whether this is a species trait to the Thakwaash or a mental disorder unique to the pilot
  • Clarified. Atarumaster88 ^{(Talk page)} 16:18, April 23, 2013 (UTC)
• Context for Doldrums
  • Contextified. Atarumaster88 ^{(Talk page)} 18:25, April 30, 2013 (UTC)
• Under "Surprise attack", you mention the fighters are ground while transport are launching, then go on to detail how the NR forces didn't light their engines until the Implacable went for the diversion. Please clarify.
• Where did the smuggling compartment for the Lunatic come from?
• What weapon is Piggy using? A blaster or a chopped down laser cannon?
  • He uses both in his boarding action. Tried to clarify that. Atarumaster88 ^{(Talk page)} 18:25, April 30, 2013 (UTC)
• Do we have articles for the Governors of Viamarr and Xartun? And the transparisteel factory? And the Durasteel one on Belthu?
• Do we have article for the various locations mentioned on Storinal? Also, the Wraith attack on Zsinj's facility.
• The cyborg that attacked the Wraiths on Coruscant - is there an article for him?
  • Yes, and linked. Atarumaster88 ^{(Talk page)} 17:29, May 8, 2013 (UTC)
• General objection - can you insert some relevant images in the areas that are text-heavy? Stuff like related characters like Zsinj, or planets, etc.
• Up to piracy. Will continue shortly. - Sir Cavalier of One^{(Squadron channel)} 15:19, April 4, 2013 (UTC)
• Article required for the navigator of the Barderia
  • Linked. Atarumaster88 ^{(Talk page)} 18:25, April 30, 2013 (UTC)
• Eventually, though, eight of the Wraiths in X-wings returned to Mon Remonda for at least one mission, in order to maintain the illusion that the squadron was still stationed on the Mon Calamari Star Cruiser with the rest of Han Solo's anti-Zsinj task force. - it is never established that the Wraiths were assigned to the Mon Remonda in the first place, and a cover was required.
• Article for the asteroid base and its take over during the Bastion raid is needed. Also, the subsequent battle/skirmish over Halmad.
  • This is done as well. Atarumaster88 ^{(Talk page)} 17:29, May 8, 2013 (UTC)
• More detail on the Second Death ruse is needed.
  • Done. Atarumaster88 ^{(Talk page)} 17:29, May 8, 2013 (UTC)
• Teradoc stuff - the intention of the Wraiths mission to Ryvester should be mentioned earlier. Also, how was putting the explosive in the vault and the fact the bomb had pressure sensors connected?
  • Fixed. Atarumaster88 ^{(Talk page)} 18:25, April 30, 2013 (UTC)
• Context for Yuuzhan Vong, Yuuzhan Vong War.
  • Fixed. Atarumaster88 ^{(Talk page)} 18:25, April 30, 2013 (UTC)
• landed safely on the now unrecognizable planet - why was the planet unrecognizable?
  • Fixed. Atarumaster88 ^{(Talk page)} 18:25, April 30, 2013 (UTC)
• Article is needed for the battery pack droids.
  • Done. Atarumaster88 ^{(Talk page)} 14:47, May 7, 2013 (UTC)
• A direct link between Durra posing as "Avvan Hocroft" should be made before detailing Loran's mission to inserted references to the individual in the GA database.
  • Done. Atarumaster88 ^{(Talk page)} 14:47, May 7, 2013 (UTC)
• Articles are needed for the various bases/ safehouses used by the Wraiths throughout Mercy Kill.
  • Fixed this. Atarumaster88 ^{(Talk page)} 14:36, May 20, 2013 (UTC)
• More detail on the third Wraith group is needed, including member names, etc.
  • Added the names. Atarumaster88 ^{(Talk page)} 01:16, May 22, 2013 (UTC)
• In general, I think the linking could do with a solid going over, and context is needed in some places. We may already have a lot of the articles I'm asking to link to, but since I haven't read the Wraith books in a long time, I'd have to reread them to be sure any linking I added was correct.
• You've made me want to reread all the Wraith books now. - Sir Cavalier of One^{(Squadron channel)} 15:04, April 5, 2013 (UTC)
  • Good! Thanks for your patience. I've been busy, but I should have time this week to work extensively on this article. Atarumaster88 ^{(Talk page)} 16:23, April 23, 2013 (UTC)

Supreme

• Minor question, should the Officer in Flight Officer be capitalized, as the article it links to is Flight officer.
  • Yes, fixed this. Atarumaster88 ^{(Talk page)} 21:36, May 9, 2013 (UTC)
    • What I meant was that Flight Officer links to a page that redirects to Flight officer. Should all instances of Flight Officer be switched to Flight officer? Supreme Emperor (talk) 13:32, May 10, 2013 (UTC)
      • If used before a name, it should be capitalized as "Flight Officer," just as "Leftenant Colonel Sanders" or "Major General Payne" is fully capitalized. However, "Flight officer" is the correct title for the article in question, because it's just a common noun. If we were referring to five flight officers being commissioned, then the words would be lower-cased. Wikia requires article titles to have initial caps, so the article title is "Flight officer" rather than "flight officer." Atarumaster88 ^{(Talk page)} 17:41, May 10, 2013 (UTC)
        • Ok, consider this struck :P Supreme Emperor (talk) 00:23, May 11, 2013 (UTC)
• Stopped at First Loss, will continue reviewing tomorrow. Supreme Emperor (talk) 03:17, May 3, 2013 (UTC)
• Stopped at Face Off Supreme Emperor (talk) 04:38, May 4, 2013 (UTC)

Comments

Anti-Terrorism Unit

• Nominated by: Coruscantfan ^(Talk) 01:57, February 16, 2013 (UTC)
• Nomination comments: Project CSF

(3 Inqs/2 Users/4 Total)

Support

1. Seems good to me. Ayrehead02 (talk) 15:35, February 17, 2013 (UTC)
2. Provided Floyd's objections are taken care of. Keep up the good work, C-fan.—Jedi Kasra ("Indeed.") 02:03, February 20, 2013 (UTC)
3. IFYLOFD ^{(Floyd's crib)} 02:12, February 22, 2013 (UTC)
4. Sir Cavalier of One^{(Squadron channel)} 08:31, April 11, 2013 (UTC)
5. Spooky. I was just looking at this FAN, and then I see you address the objections in the RecentChanges. Cade Calrayn 22:27, May 6, 2013 (UTC)

Object

Floyd

• Article for the terrorist network in the intro?
  • Done, also added the link in the body.
• "Though later on, some thought to militarize the unit and to utilize it as a secret police, the suggestions were quickly dismissed." The beginning of the sentence should be rewritten. The way it is now, it makes the most sense to have it merged with the one beforehand, but that would create a very long sentence that wouldn't be good for flow. Rework this.
  • I reworked the sentence, see if that flows better.
• Could we maybe get an article for the Separatists' terrorist campaign?
  • Done.
• "The commandos were able to locate the terrorists and conducted the operation became a joint venture with the CSF's ATU and OCU as they conducted joint raids that brought down the terrorist network." Yeah, this doesn't work at all grammatically. There are several ways to fix it, you decide.
  • Wow, that's terrible grammer. Someone wasn't paying attention when they wrote this article. Shame...
    • Not seeing a change here. IFYLOFD ^{(Floyd's crib)} 23:03, February 19, 2013 (UTC)
      • Whoops. Forgot to hit save on that earlier. Done. Coruscantfan ^(Talk) 23:08, February 19, 2013 (UTC)
• Why would Obrim deflect the investigation away from the commandos?
  • Clarified.
• Context on the Battle of Coruscant. It isn't properly introduced.
  • Done.
• Ben Skywalker is mentioned in the Lon Shevu section, but is never properly introduced either there or in the History section.
  • Done.
• Double-check your linking. IFYLOFD ^{(Floyd's crib)} 03:25, February 19, 2013 (UTC)
  • Added links in several areas. Coruscantfan ^(Talk) 20:29, February 19, 2013 (UTC)

Cav

• Under "Major attacks" you mention that the ATU and its allies were able to locate the terrorists twice. - Sir Cavalier of One^{(Squadron channel)} 19:57, April 3, 2013 (UTC)
  • Done. Coruscantfan ^(Talk) 21:24, April 3, 2013 (UTC)

Cadeth

• Intro: "the close relationship" between whom?
  • Done.
• Intro: "At that time" - can you expand on this transition? I'm assuming it's a result of the Republic becoming the Empire, right? It might be a good place to do a paragraph break.
  • Done.
• A little bit more context on the GAG in the intro?
  • Done.
• "The ATU itself was one of the most powerful units in the CSF in terms of jurisdiction and authority. Likewise, the ATU commanding captain was one of the most influential officers in the CSF." and "The ATU was one of the most powerful divisions of the CSF, in terms of its jurisdiction and legal authority, and its commanding captain was subsequently one of the most influential officers in the CSF." Can you please vary up the wording between the intro and the body here?
  • Done.
• "the set up" is actually "the setup." I've changed it here.
  • Thanks.
• "When some sought to militarize" - can you give more context here on the "some", if possible?
  • Done.
• The infobox should reflect the statement in the History - that the division was founded before 22 BBY.
  • Done.
• "was seconded to the CSF" - is that an actual verb and sentence? I've never heard of that before.
  • No, just a simple typo.
• I'll continue after these are addressed. Cade Calrayn 05:19, April 16, 2013 (UTC)
  • Thanks, sorry it took so long. Coruscantfan ^(Talk) 18:25, April 25, 2013 (UTC)
• The terrorist campaign; I'm assuming it's against bases on Coruscant?
  • Done.
• Can you make it more clear that you're talking about the ATU? You say "they" a lot in that paragraph.
  • Done.
• Context on Gaftikar?
  • Done.
• You can make use of the new duplicate links tool (see the toolbox section below the search box) to check the linking.
  • Ok.
    • Apparently, you've got to activate it in Gadgets under Preferences. Cade Calrayn 22:27, May 6, 2013 (UTC)
• "When Order 66 was issued in 19 BBY by Supreme Chancellor Palpatine, declaring all Jedi as enemies of the state, the ATU received instructions along with the rest of the CSF that their standing order to comply with the Jedi Order had been rescinded and that they were to notify the military if they spotted any Jedi." Can you break up this sentence?
  • Done.
• "transferred to the Imperial Security Bureau" - I'm not sure that's the right verb. Maybe "oversight of the ATU was transferred to..." instead?
  • Done.
• Context on Corellia and Jabi Town.
  • Done.
• Context on Darth Caedus.
  • Done.
• In Lon Shevu's section, you should probably give a time reference as to when he led the unit, just for consistency. Cade Calrayn 02:36, April 26, 2013 (UTC)
  • Done. Coruscantfan ^(Talk) 22:22, May 6, 2013 (UTC)

Attack of the Clone

• Starting with some preliminaries, the article body needs to mention the "Anti-Terorist Unit" and "ATU" alternate names just as the intro does.
  • Done.
    • Please check that the referencing is correct as well. All of the names are currently sourced to Order 66, which I'm not sure is the actual case. CC7567 ^(talk) 20:28, May 14, 2013 (UTC)
      • Whoops, changed. Coruscantfan ^(Talk) 20:33, May 14, 2013 (UTC)
• {{1stID}} should also be used for the alternate names in the Appearances/Sources if they're not the same as the first appearance.
  • Done.
• I'm not too sure about the usage of the image in the "Major attacks" section. I know it depicts a Coruscant terrorist bombing, but as I'm sure you know, that image is from "Heroes on Both Sides," and not related to the actual attack from Wild Space that the article mentions. If you want to keep the image, I would suggest expanding on the image caption to note something like, "it was the ATU's role to respond to attacks of this nature." You should also link to the "Heroes on Both Sides" terrorist attack in the image caption, since it's a separate event. CC7567 ^(talk) 16:47, May 14, 2013 (UTC)
  • Yeah, unfortunately there aren't many images available from the commando series. If you take a look, I changed the image which I think will work better. Coruscantfan ^(Talk) 20:26, May 14, 2013 (UTC)
• In Wild Space, was the Coruscant bombing executed by the Separatists? I seem to recall something about that from the novel, so if you could check for any missing details in that area, that would be something to add to the article.
• "The CSF's Organized Crime Unit came close to focusing an investigation on the commandos who got into the crossfire of a underworld thugs." Please check this.
• Would it be appropriate to create an event for the skirmish in the Republic Central Medcenter?
• "When Order 66 was issued in 19 BBY by Supreme Chancellor Palpatine": nitpicking here, but I think the 19 BBY date should come earlier in the paragraph, as you already mention the Battle of Coruscant, which took place in the same year. CC7567 ^(talk) 20:32, May 20, 2013 (UTC)

Comments

Marcus Trant

• Nominated by: Coruscantfan ^(Talk) 01:47, March 2, 2013 (UTC)
• Nomination comments: Director of SIS, a hard job in a republic

(3 Inqs/0 Users/3 Total)

Support

1. Cade Calrayn 22:56, March 15, 2013 (UTC)
2. IFYLOFD ^{(Floyd's crib)} 23:44, April 5, 2013 (UTC)
3. Sir Cavalier of One^{(Squadron channel)} 08:48, April 11, 2013 (UTC)

Object

Cadeth

• Reload the infobox!
  • Done.
• You should be able to give a lot more information on Trant's actions and life during the events of the comics, and the focus of the article should be on Trant and not Shan. You should describe what Trant is doing during the comics, and give Shan's actions as context whenever he reports back to Trant. For instance, Trant was sleeping when Shan called him to report one time, and he also brought up how he was dealing with the raid on the SIS Nar Shaddaa safe house when Shan called him another time.
  • Done.
    • Much better, but you could also give some more info on the first issue of the comic, like how they met in his office before Trant flew them somewhere else.
      • Done.
• Annihilation, while it's still only about two years after The Lost Suns, is actually set in 3,640 BBY. I reworked the sentence with the correct date, but you probably want to work on that sentence yourself.
  • Done.
• Second Great Galactic War's actually conjectural, so we've got to pipelink it.
  • Done.
• You might want to take a look at the intro to see if you can balance the paragraph lengths a little better, at least in my opinion.
  • Done.
• I'll continue once these have been addressed. Cade Calrayn 02:56, March 2, 2013 (UTC)
• Article for Garza's platoon.
  • Done.
• Trant didn't actually send Shan to the Vesla system, he sent him to locate Zho, and then Shan took the initiative to investigate Zho's claims.
  • Done.
• Context for Darth Mekhis.
  • Done.
• "Though Supreme Commander Malcom asked Trant as to why Operation Transom had been interfered with by Shan. Trant, covering for Shan, took the blame of the mission's failure, though to himself, he promised to question Shan on the matter personally." There's something wrong with these sentences.
  • Done.
• I don't think it's particularly accurate to place that image of Shan in Trant's office there; it's a completely different situation than the one in Annihilation. Might I suggest switching it with the one in the P&T, as that's a more general image of the two together?
  • I thought about that too, but I don't think it clashes too much since there are several scenes that occur in his office. To me it makes more sense there than to take the shot of just Shan and Trant from the P&t which I put there since it focuses just on them two which is the focus of that section.
• "Teff'ith was able to warn Master Shan and she was able to convince Malcom." This is rather awkward; you also should specify who "she" is and also explain what she convinced Malcom of.
  • Done.
• "Concerned the cipher was no longer working, Shan contacted Trant, who was debriefing Malcom on the attack. Unknown to Shan, Trant and Malcom had been aware of the pending attack but had decided against giving a warning to protect the fact that they had the black cipher. Trant and Malcom were also aware of a pending attack on Duro but had also decided to forgo interfere there as well." Especially this section, but that paragraph isn't really written with a focus on Trant, it's presenting information in the order that the novel presented it. The article should present all information chronologically, and we should being following what Trant is doing—i.e., you should talk about how he knew about Ruan before you talk about Shan finding out, and the reader should learn that Trant is debriefing Malcom before Shan interrupts the meeting. Try and go over this paragraph with that in mind.
  • Done.
• A lot of your sentences are rather short and choppy, you could try merging a couple here and in the future to make them flow better.
  • Take a look now, they should flow better.
• Also, you're using commas rather sparsely; take this sentence for example. I've put parentheses around where I think commas should go. "The cipher was turned over to Trant(,) who immediately gave it to the analytics team to work on. Shan and Gnost-Dural(,) meanwhile(,) continued with their mission and required a smuggler named Teff'ith to help them(,) though Trant was skeptical of her abilities."
  • Commas added in several areas. Coruscantfan ^(Talk) 00:11, March 13, 2013 (UTC)
• I'll finish up when these are done. Good work overall though. Cade Calrayn 22:46, March 7, 2013 (UTC)

Floyd

• "This included a mission that resulted in the destruction of the Sith's planet," Any specific planet? I'm sure they had many.
  • That as a typo, fixed.
• Intro: Context on the Sun Razer.
  • Done.
• Is all the info on Joron Tal'vor really necessary? It doesn't seem like Trant really interacts with him in any way.
  • True, I've cut it down.
• In the intro you write "His work caused tensions at home and Trant's relationship with his second wife ended in divorce as well." In the bio, however, the "tensions" caused by his work aren't mentioned at all. All that is said on his second marriage is "Trant married again, though his second wife divorced him as well," Please reconcile these two statements.
  • Done.
• "Trant himself had a bounty placed on his head," By whom? Do we know?
  • No, its never clarified in the comic.
• "some of Coruscant's most dangerous criminal organizations." Such as?
  • Done.
• "and with the apparent death of the Sith Emperor," Any context on this?
  • Done. Coruscantfan ^(Talk) 19:17, March 25, 2013 (UTC)
• "as to why Operation Transom had been interfered with by Shan," In the future, try to avoid this type of passive voice.
  • Done.
• Context on Reaver Station. Where/what is it?
  • Done.
• Article for the Sith attack on Duro?
  • Done.
• Avoid contractions in your writing.
  • Done. Coruscantfan ^(Talk) 06:41, March 26, 2013 (UTC)
• IFYLOFD ^{(Floyd's crib)} 00:38, March 23, 2013 (UTC)

Cav

• His relationship with Garza remained tense throughout the rest of their lives though they had to frequently work together because of their respective positions - what position did Garza hold?
  • Done.
• Why was Transom blown if Shan had rescued the Republic PoWs? - Sir Cavalier of One^{(Squadron channel)} 23:09, April 2, 2013 (UTC)
  • Done. Coruscantfan ^(Talk) 04:46, April 3, 2013 (UTC)

Attack of the Clone

• "which brought about the defeat of the Sith Empire's most powerful warship, the Ascendant Spear": any event that can be linked?
• Please check the second paragraph of "Early career"; there are two consecutive refs to the TOR Encyclopedia.
• "Trant sent Shan… Shan sent Trant": please change one of these.
• File:Trant briefing.jpg is in need of some slight correcting; per WP:I, speech bubble text should be left intact if the bubble is not cut off, which is the case for the bubble on the right. Please see what you can do to correct this.
• "The Houk demanded that Shan explain his presence. Shan, refusing to do so, fought the Houk and brought him down. The Houk admitted he was an SIS agent and told Shan about Operation Transom, to Shan's surprise. However, Shan continued to ignore the director's orders and infiltrated Morbo's palace." This is a bit play-by-play; would you be able to slightly smooth out the sentence flow?
• "Presenting the idea to the SIS director as a joint operation along with the military and the Jedi, Trant agreed." The first dependent clause (in which Malcom seems to be the subject, i.e. the one presenting the idea to Trant) doesn't quite match up with the following clause, in which Trant is the subject. Please reword.
• I'll continue with "Chasing the Spear" once these are fixed. CC7567 ^(talk) 21:10, May 20, 2013 (UTC)

Comments

• Cfan, a heads-up: Theron and Director stuff. Cade Calrayn 17:35, April 5, 2013 (UTC)
  • Thanks, I've added it. Coruscantfan ^(Talk) 02:05, April 11, 2013 (UTC)

Scimitar assault wing

• Nominated by: Sir Cavalier of One^{(Squadron channel)} 11:02, March 7, 2013 (UTC)
• Nomination comments: You try thinking of something funny involving scimitars.

(3 Inqs/3 Users/6 Total)

Support

1. --Eyrezer (talk) 12:41, March 7, 2013 (UTC)
2. I'm Tomax and this is Xamot. We're twins who can feel each other's pain! IFYLOFD ^{(Floyd's crib)} 04:10, March 9, 2013 (UTC)
3. Ayrehead02 (talk) 19:19, March 12, 2013 (UTC)
4. 501st dogma^(talk) 23:07, April 30, 2013 (UTC)
5. Cade Calrayn 23:42, May 1, 2013 (UTC)
6. CC7567 ^(talk) 21:34, May 20, 2013 (UTC)

Object

501st

• One thing: In the Squadrons section, you say that the reconnaissance fighters were slower than the TIEs. However, later you contradict this in the reconnaissance fighter's section by saying they could go fast enough to avoid combat. 501st dogma^(talk) 23:35, April 16, 2013 (UTC)
  • Alas, the contradiction is not mine, but with the source. I tried to word it vaguely enough that the references to the specific TIE/rcs used by the Scimitars were separate enough from the standard issue TIE/rc, and that the TIE/rcs were only slower in relation to the TIE fighters used by the Scimitar assault wing. Note that the info in the starfighter section does not state that they were comparable at all to the TIE/LN. - Sir Cavalier of One^{(Squadron channel)} 22:06, April 30, 2013 (UTC)

Cadeth

• I think that the Special Unit squadron can probably go in the Members field on the infobox.
  • My understanding is that this field is generally reserved for specific individuals, not sub-units.
• Also, would it be wrong or unnecessary to make articles for the five other squadrons? It seems like you've got enough info on them...
  • I would say no. Special Unit squadron is the only squadron explicitly named, which is why I redlinked it but not created since I'm in two minds about creating the article itself. Since they're not named, and really only described in the vaguest terms, I would say its unnecessary.
• Should the Hook Nebula section not have a {{Main}} template?
  • Added.
• Article for the capital of Nulan VI. Cade Calrayn 19:47, April 29, 2013 (UTC)
  • Linked and created. - Sir Cavalier of One^{(Squadron channel)} 22:14, April 30, 2013 (UTC)

Comments

Raid on the Black Sun headquarters

• Nominated by: Cade Calrayn 23:38, March 8, 2013 (UTC)
• Nomination comments: And off to Spring Break I go!

(3 Inqs/1 Users/4 Total)

Support

1. IFYLOFD ^{(Floyd's crib)} 05:06, March 9, 2013 (UTC)
2. Ayrehead02 (talk) 17:18, March 14, 2013 (UTC)
3. Sir Cavalier of One^{(Squadron channel)} 21:24, April 2, 2013 (UTC)
4. CC7567 ^(talk) 04:57, May 15, 2013 (UTC)

Object

Attack of the Clone

• The Mission to Coruscant and the Desolator crisis are currently exclusive to the introbox. Please find somewhere to incorporate them in the article. CC7567 ^(talk) 18:30, May 14, 2013 (UTC)
  • Linked. Cade Calrayn 23:12, May 14, 2013 (UTC)

Comments

Bosph

• Nominated by: Ayrehead02 (talk) 17:58, March 14, 2013 (UTC)
• Nomination comments:Yet another crazy WEG species!

(2 Inqs/3 Users/5 Total)

Support

1. Sir Cavalier of One^{(Squadron channel)} 09:04, April 11, 2013 (UTC)
2. --Eyrezer (talk) 09:35, April 14, 2013 (UTC)
3. Who's the Bosph? ~Savage 03:03, April 17, 2013 (UTC)
4. Cade Calrayn 15:55, May 18, 2013 (UTC)
5. 501st dogma^(talk) 16:34, May 18, 2013 (UTC)

Object

Objections, objections…

• Could you fix all the redirects in the article and the references?—Jedi Kasra ("Indeed.") 18:57, March 14, 2013 (UTC)
  • Fixed all of them. Ayrehead02 (talk) 21:32, March 14, 2013 (UTC)
    • The link to the Outer Rim article in the references have yet to be fixed.—Jedi Kasra ("Indeed.") 21:39, March 14, 2013 (UTC)
      • Ah my apologises checked in the text and forgot to check it again. Ayrehead02 (talk) 21:56, March 14, 2013 (UTC)
• Could you also split the BTS in a couple paragraphs?—Jedi Kasra ("Indeed.") 21:35, March 14, 2013 (UTC)
  • Done. Ayrehead02 (talk) 21:56, March 14, 2013 (UTC)
• If the Scourge novel was the first appearance of the species, please place a {{1st}} tag in the appearances.—Jedi Kasra ("Indeed.") 23:08, March 14, 2013 (UTC)
  • done Ayrehead02 (talk) 12:16, March 15, 2013 (UTC)
• I'll continue the review soon.—Jedi Kasra ("Indeed.") 12:32, March 15, 2013 (UTC)

Savaged…

• Good to see another alien! A few preliminary objections before I do a more detailed review: first, be sure that image captions only use sentence-final punctuation when they are a complete sentence.
  • This is still not completely done -- the Moff Harsh caption is not a full sentence, for instance. ~Savage 14:32, March 17, 2013 (UTC)
    • Think they're all fixed now. Ayrehead02 (talk) 15:28, April 7, 2013 (UTC)
• Be sure that you don't link anything in quotes or image captions if it's already linked in the body of the article.
• Can you identify the author of "Smugglers of the Outer Rim"?
• I think you have misidentified the author of the "Alien Encounters" article.
  • Good, but be sure to fix the misattribution in all the sub-articles you created, too (Yentarr, etc.). ~Savage 14:32, March 17, 2013 (UTC)
    • Any progress here? ~Savage 16:26, April 6, 2013 (UTC)
      • Fixed all of them that included Bts sections. Ayrehead02 (talk) 15:21, April 7, 2013 (UTC)
• Be sure to place short story and article titles in quotation marks, not in italics.
• Check your references; it appears you have a few paragraphs with two references to the same source immediately following one another. You should be able to eliminate the earlier of the two references in these cases. As an example, I see two [2] refs in the fifth paragraph of "Society and culture" and two [3] refs in the next paragraph. And there may be other instances of this. ~Savage 17:21, March 16, 2013 (UTC)
  • Think I fixed all of it although I couldn't find the second referencing problem you mentioned. Ayrehead02 (talk) 17:45, March 16, 2013 (UTC)
• Something else I spotted, then I'll do the detailed review (I swear): be sure that you have all references formatted such that the displayed article (not edit-version) looks like this: "Blah blah blah.[1]" Or, "Blah blah blah,[1] so blah blah blah.[2]" In other words, the bracketed reference must always follow the punctuation mark except in cases of M-dashes. ~Savage 14:32, March 17, 2013 (UTC)
  • Corrected including the dash. Ayrehead02 (talk) 15:01, April 3, 2013 (UTC)
• OK, back! Maybe their system of glyphs and runes should be given an article as a type of writing system.
  • I'm not sure there is really enough information to say it's an entire writing system. Only one glyph is mentioned and the runes on it aren't described as having meaning and so could be purely decorative. Ayrehead02 (talk) 13:49, April 16, 2013 (UTC)
• Do we know if they had genders male and female?
  • No female Bosph are ever mentioned in the sources and neither is mating or anything suggesting there are two genders. Ayrehead02 (talk) 13:49, April 16, 2013 (UTC)
    • But do we know there are at least males? That's worth mentioning in the "Biology and appearance" section. ~Savage 15:55, April 16, 2013 (UTC)
      • I've added it and tried to make it clear that its never stated that there isn't another sex although it still sounds odd. Ayrehead02 (talk) 17:51, April 16, 2013 (UTC)
        • Wait, did the Bosphs have males, or their precursor species? The way you have it worded now, only the precursors did. But just by judging by the gender pronouns used in other material, we should be able to surmise that the Bosphs themselves had males. I note that Bora Boru and Morga Bunna are listed as males on their pages. ~Savage 20:05, April 16, 2013 (UTC)
          • • Ah put it in the wrong place whoops. Ayrehead02 (talk) 20:33, April 16, 2013 (UTC)
• The encounter with Mora seems to be related in too much detail, verging into play-by-play territory. Can you pare it down to the essentials, since this article is about Bosphs and not Mora specifically? The Bora Boru description is also a tad overdetailed, but maybe it's a good target for how long the Mora paragraph should be.
  • Shorten both descriptions although the later only by a line. I can shorten both further if necessary although I'm not entirely sure what information to remove. Ayrehead02 (talk) 13:49, April 16, 2013 (UTC)
• Can you check the compiler of Alien Encounters? I want to say it was Paul Sudlow, not Jen Seiden.
  • Ah my mistake she was the editor not the compiler I better go correct that in Tarc although it seems to be correct in Adnerem. Ayrehead02 (talk) 13:49, April 16, 2013 (UTC)
• Can you add who wrote "The Usual Suspects" to BTS? ~Savage 11:57, April 16, 2013 (UTC)
  • Added Andrew Hind. Ayrehead02 (talk) 13:49, April 16, 2013 (UTC)

Cav

• Article for the government? The Force-user nature of it seems to warrant an article.
  • Added and written. Ayrehead02 (talk) 15:01, April 3, 2013 (UTC)
• The glyph of ownership seems article worthy as well.
  • Added and written. Ayrehead02 (talk) 15:01, April 3, 2013 (UTC)
• This tradition was maintained in Bosph culture and became known as 'the way of the traveller'[1] although it changed slightly to include the practice of Ela b'Yentarr,[3] especially philosophers, always having to bare such tattoos[1] whilst it was a choice for other Bosphs.[3] - I think I know what you're trying to say here, but it needs more clarity. Please clarify.
  • Is it now clearer? Ayrehead02 (talk) 15:01, April 3, 2013 (UTC)
• Is "Battle of Chabosh" specifically titled as such? If its a conjectural name, then "battle" needs to be decapitalized.
  • Yup its named exactly that in gamer 6 capitalized and all. Ayrehead02 (talk) 15:01, April 3, 2013 (UTC)
• I think an article for the planet's blockade is needed. - Sir Cavalier of One^{(Squadron channel)} 14:53, April 2, 2013 (UTC)
  • Added and written. Ayrehead02 (talk) 15:01, April 3, 2013 (UTC)

501

• I'll continue my review soon, but you have two appearances that are listed as 1st Appearance. 501st dogma^(talk) 19:12, April 14, 2013 (UTC)
  • Now sorted with thanks to Eyrezer. Ayrehead02 (talk) 13:49, April 16, 2013 (UTC)

Cadeth

• Article for the Bosph language, since there are several terms and titles that are known.
  • Added and written. Ayrehead02 (talk) 11:17, May 11, 2013 (UTC)
• You repeat the stuff about the tattoo star maps twice in the Society and culture section; I think once is sufficient.
  • Removed the second mention. Ayrehead02 (talk) 11:17, May 11, 2013 (UTC)
• Good work so far; I've got to go study, but I'll continue this tomorrow. Cade Calrayn 01:37, May 3, 2013 (UTC)
• "One type of clothing worn by some Bosphs was the loincloth.[3][2][5]" When you have more than one reference consecutively, please make sure that they are ordered numerically.
  • Reordered. Ayrehead02 (talk) 11:17, May 11, 2013 (UTC)
• The paragraph about their clothing and habits was rather choppy; when you've got short sentences like here, they can usually be merged together for better flow.
  • Thanks for fixing it. Is the paragraph ok now or do you want me to merge some more? Ayrehead02 (talk) 11:17, May 11, 2013 (UTC)
• "For instance, Bosph musical instruments suited their dual pairs of arms; the Bosphon Geddy, were unplayable by any species with less than four arms due to the innate complexities of its design." I think there's an extra comma and some tense errors in here.
  • Is that better? Ayrehead02 (talk) 11:17, May 11, 2013 (UTC)
• Should Luprisi be capitalized?
  • Oops no. Ayrehead02 (talk) 11:17, May 11, 2013 (UTC)
• The early History paragraphs are rather short; the third needs to be merge with the second, but you could also merge the first three if you think it looks better.
  • Merge all three. Ayrehead02 (talk) 11:17, May 11, 2013 (UTC)
• Please confirm if the Bombardment of Bosph is a canonical title, and if not, decapitalize it in the caption.
  • Double checked and it's not ever officially titled that so I've decapitalized it and add the conjecture tag to the article. Ayrehead02 (talk) 11:17, May 11, 2013 (UTC)
• The references about where Bosph lay on the maps strike me as rather unnecessary. You can really just source the info to the Atlas.
• The class names of ships be formatted with a pipelink to appear as Class name-class; just making sure you're aware of this fact.
  • I'm not sure I quite understand could you give an example? Ayrehead02 (talk) 11:17, May 11, 2013 (UTC)
    • "Upon the arrival of the Invincible-class Dreadnaught Heavy Cruiser Resolute at the depot, ..." Cade Calrayn 15:29, May 18, 2013 (UTC)
      • Ah I understand now thanks for explaining. Fixed it. Ayrehead02 (talk) 15:53, May 18, 2013 (UTC)
• Force-sensitive should always be hyphenated. I've seen you leave out the hyphen several times.
  • I'll make sure I don't miss it in future. Ayrehead02 (talk) 11:17, May 11, 2013 (UTC)
• Great work. Cade Calrayn 17:36, May 3, 2013 (UTC)

Floyd

• Context on Han Solo in the intro. IFYLOFD ^{(Enter the Floydome)} 23:45, May 20, 2013 (UTC)
  • Added for him and the Falcon Ayrehead02 (talk) 11:53, May 21, 2013 (UTC)

Comments

• Is there evidence that the Bosphs are omnivores? If so, there is a field in the infobox for that. --Eyrezer (talk) 09:35, April 14, 2013 (UTC)
  • It states that they eat the meat of certain animals but doesn't mention if they eat vegetation of not. Their precursor species is said to be omnivorous but this doesn't meant they are. I didn't state they were as I didn't want to make assumptions but I can add it if people think it's suitable. Ayrehead02 (talk) 17:39, April 14, 2013 (UTC)
• I just read Scourge, and there are a few other things that are probably worth mentioning here: Morga shows his wealth and status in a way that should probably be mentioned in "Society and culture": "his slender horns tipped with gold, his compound eyes newly washed and gleaming, his robes of the finest quality." (Chapter 15). The same chapter also reveals that Bosphs could rock back and forth when anticipating something, they could snap their fingers, and they raised all four arms in a sign of resignation. We also learn that Morga grows plants from Bosph under radiation lights. Finally, this quote seems to indicate that Morga does not like company so much: "Civilization reaches out even to the darkest corners of space. I would offer a libation, but I don't know your preferences, and to be honest I hope that this exchange will be brief." ~Savage 19:44, April 22, 2013 (UTC)
  • I mentioned the gold tipped horns in society and culture but will added the information concerning his eyes and robes. I remember reading those bits about his various actions but wasn't sure if I should include it since it may simply be his personal habits, however I'll add that at least one individual had such habits. The plants I missed and will add to society and culture. I feel that quote might show that he specifically doesn't enjoy the Jedi's company as oppose to company in general and the loneliness quote seems to contradict it although I guess it could be sarcasm. Since as far as I can remember the book doesn't make it clear in either case I'm not sure we can assume it is sarcasm and that he doesn't like company in general but I can remove the information about him not minding company as well if you'd prefer. Ayrehead02 (talk) 20:16, April 22, 2013 (UTC)

Dar Keyis

• Nominated by: Sir Cavalier of One^{(Squadron channel)} 22:16, March 15, 2013 (UTC)
• Nomination comments: Rogue Squadron. One of the few, the proud, the ultimately forgotten judging by his appearances.

(2 Inqs/2 Users/4 Total)

Support

1. IFYLOFD ^{(Floyd's crib)} 23:27, March 18, 2013 (UTC)
2. Cade Calrayn 23:40, May 1, 2013 (UTC)
3. Ayrehead02 (talk) 15:34, May 15, 2013 (UTC)
4. —Cal Jedi ^{(Personal Comm Channel)} 17:44, May 18, 2013 (UTC)

Object

Floyd

• "A member of the New Republic Starfighter Corps nine months after the Battle of Endor, " And what year was this? Same issue in the body. It's a matter of infobox-only info at this point.
  • Added year to both.
• In the intro, you should mention the Brentaal IV campaign and all that crap as being part of the GCW.
  • Mention of GCW added to intro.
• The Galactic Civil War is also not mentioned in the body.
  • And to the body.
• Is an article for the reconnaissance mission to Brentaal possible?
  • Its in the main battle article at Battle of Brentaal IV (Galactic Civil War)#New Republic reconnaissance. I've added the necessary pipelink, though.
• You should probably mention somewhere that the New Republic captured the moonbase.
  • Thought it was clear enough, but added some clarification in the 2nd paragraph.

*You're inconsistent in the way you write "Keyis'" or "Keyis's".

• • Went with "Keyis'" unless anyone wants to argue its should be "Keyis's". - Sir Cavalier of One^{(Squadron channel)} 00:49, March 18, 2013 (UTC)
• IFYLOFD ^{(Floyd's crib)} 00:31, March 18, 2013 (UTC)

Cadeth

• Any reason why Brentaal IV Campaign is capitalized? I've never seen that as a proper name; I thought it was just the Battle of Brentaal IV.
  • Many interlinked battles equates a campaign, but its not an alternative name. Changed instances to "Battle of Brentaal IV".
• The quote kind of confuses me in the Bio... should it be "Help Keyis, Nine" instead of "Help, Keyis, Nine" ?
  • Interesting error. Corrected.
• "Assigned the call sign of Rogue Ten, upon joining the unit, ..." I think there's an extra comma here, though I don't know how you would like to fix it.
  • Errant comma removed.
• Good work. Cade Calrayn 20:04, April 29, 2013 (UTC)
  • Thanks for the review. - Sir Cavalier of One^{(Squadron channel)} 22:22, April 30, 2013 (UTC)

Comments

Diblen Harleys

• Nominated by: Sir Cavalier of One^{(Squadron channel)} 22:17, March 15, 2013 (UTC)
• Nomination comments: I see Iceman as the image for this guy. No idea why.

(2 Inqs/1 Users/3 Total)

Support

1. IFYLOFD ^{(Floyd's crib)} 23:28, March 18, 2013 (UTC)
2. ~Savage 23:18, April 30, 2013 (UTC)
3. 17:40, May 3, 2013 (UTC)

Object

Floyd has one thing

• Intro: "his father revealed the true nature of the Empire to him." Which was...? IFYLOFD ^{(Floyd's crib)} 00:48, March 18, 2013 (UTC)
  • Added. - Sir Cavalier of One^{(Squadron channel)} 00:53, March 18, 2013 (UTC)

Savaged…

• One minor nitpick: Can the last sentence of the intro be reworded so that the verb comes much sooner? As it is now, the sentence is almost over before we get to the main verb. Might work to just put something like, "His cooperation aided an investigation into blah blah blah" or something like that. Otherwise, solid as usual. ~Savage 11:22, April 24, 2013 (UTC)
  • Cut down and rejigged. Thanks for the review. - Sir Cavalier of One^{(Squadron channel)} 22:29, April 30, 2013 (UTC)

Comments

Nathema

• Nominated by: Cade Calrayn 22:23, March 15, 2013 (UTC)
• Nomination comments: Project Hero. Just to break Cav's reign of terror.

(2 Inqs/1 Users/3 Total)

Support

1. IFYLOFD ^{(Floyd's crib)} 22:35, March 19, 2013 (UTC)
2. Sir Cavalier of One^{(Squadron channel)} 09:06, April 11, 2013 (UTC)
3. Nice, well done. Imperators II^(Talk) 23:05, April 19, 2013 (UTC)

Object

Floyd hates your articles

• In the intro, you should connect the Ritual to the Sith Emperor's new immortality.
  • Done.
• Intro: "Nathema's rediscovery by members of the Empire's ruling Dark Council sparked a plot to unseat their Emperor," Why would it do that?
• Any reason why you're calling it Medriaas in the Description section?
  • Because I was talking about the planet before its renaming (i.e. pre-5,100 BBY)
• Watch your linking.
• Do you think it merits mention anywhere that the planet had an aristocracy ruled by Force-sensitives? You mention it kinda offhandedly in the body, but I think this deserves more attention.
  • Done.
• "At the same time, Vitiate had a team of historians and researchers search for a long-lost Sith colony world named Dromund Kaas." Any reason why?
  • Meh, tried to give some more context.
• "At this point, Nathema's entire government came to a halt, as Meetra Surik" Wait, what's this about Meetra Surik?
  • Woops, fixed.
• Article for Dramath the Second's tomb?
  • Done. Cade Calrayn 00:38, March 19, 2013 (UTC)
• IFYLOFD ^{(Floyd's crib)} 00:28, March 19, 2013 (UTC)

Cav

• and the very color of the environment seemed to be leeched of color - repetition of "color", please vary.
• No article for this "Void"? If its properly named, it should have an article I feel.
• In 3,954 BBY, Revan eventually decided to follow his broken memories to Rekkiad and then to Nathema - articles for these missions? I'm fairly sure we have one for Rekkiad.
• while a pregnant Shan stayed behind. - Shan was pregnant for three years? - Sir Cavalier of One^{(Squadron channel)} 13:41, April 2, 2013 (UTC)
  • All done. Cade Calrayn 14:29, April 2, 2013 (UTC)

Imperators II

• Infobox: "Terrestrial class" cannot be sourced to the Online Companion. Imperators II^(Talk) 22:45, April 19, 2013 (UTC)
  • Changed to TOR:Revan. Cade Calrayn 22:47, April 19, 2013 (UTC)

Comments

Imperial Guard (Sith Empire)

• Nominated by: Cade Calrayn 03:20, March 17, 2013 (UTC)
• Nomination comments: Project Hero. They're rather badass.

(2 Inqs/2 Users/4 Total)

Support

1. IFYLOFD ^{(Floyd's crib)} 22:38, March 19, 2013 (UTC)
2. 501st dogma^(talk) 22:53, April 2, 2013 (UTC)
3. Sir Cavalier of One^{(Squadron channel)} 09:11, April 11, 2013 (UTC)
4. —Jedi Kasra ("Indeed.") 20:58, April 16, 2013 (UTC)

Object

Floyd hates your articles

• I'd like to see a timeframe inserted into the intro. There's not a real indication when this is. Just stating the date of when "war broke out" would be fine.
  • Eh, I changed this to include all three wars and mentioned the earliest time they're known to exist; see if you still think I need more.
• In the intro, I'm seeing "members of the" in consecutive sentences. Try to avoid this type of repetition.
  • Done.
• Context on the Dark Council in the intro.
  • Done.
• Could there perhaps be a link for them being "mentally linked" to the Sith Emperor?
  • Done.
• Context on the Sith Sanctum. The name alone isn't really enough to indicate what it is.
  • Done.
• Linking in general could use a look-over.
  • Done.
• Context on the Children?
  • Done.
• You might want to mention really quickly that the Hero was able to free himself from the Sith Emperor's control, since you mention him being controlled by the Emperor and then the next time you mention him he's fighting the Emperor again.
  • Done. Cade Calrayn 03:19, March 19, 2013 (UTC)
• IFYLOFD ^{(Floyd's crib)} 02:55, March 19, 2013 (UTC)

501st does too

• Context on Dromund Kass and Korriban in the Organization section.
• The History section is quite large. Could you split it up into a few subheadings?
• You say that Revan was corrupted by the Emperor, but later he attacks the Emperor again. Did the corruption turn Revan to the dark side, and then he turned back to the light? Could you clarify?
• "reclamation of Korriban..." Reclamation from what?
• "An Imperial Guard was also assigned to Moff Alvon Zamar during his survey of Imperial resources on the Corellian battlefront..." Link for the guard.
  • Still not there.
    • Bah.
• I would state where Kaas city is. Since you were previously talking about Corellia, it seems to infer that its also there, despite the fact that its not.
• I would add more notable members to the infobox. You have quite a few commanders such as Trahg and Jastal that are not mentioned. 501st dogma^(talk) 14:53, March 29, 2013 (UTC)
  • How about Jastal too? 501st dogma^(talk) 20:20, April 2, 2013 (UTC)
    • Done. Cade Calrayn 21:12, April 2, 2013 (UTC)
  • All done. Cade Calrayn 15:08, April 2, 2013 (UTC)

Cav

• You list a lot of locations of Imperial Guard deployments in the main body, but none in the infobox.
• The reference in "Equipment and training" to the selection process for the guard should probably go in the "Organization and philosophy" section instead since the opening is kind of abrupt on that section. Only the stuff about being drawn from the ranks of the military - the training stuff should stay where it is.
• Date for the reclamation of Korriban? - Sir Cavalier of One^{(Squadron channel)} 13:00, April 2, 2013 (UTC)
  • All done. Cade Calrayn 15:08, April 2, 2013 (UTC)

Objection

• Protecting the Empire: However, the Imperial Guard also oversaw the machinery and equipment in the depths of the Academy that the Emperor used to create his Children—individuals who were unknowingly extensions of the Emperor's will— and the Guardsmen ensured that their master's plans were not interfered with. Unknown to who? Could you correct this and, if need be, split the sentence?—Jedi Kasra ("Indeed.") 20:49, April 16, 2013 (UTC)
  • Changed to "unknowing", as they're unaware themselves that they're Children.
• Good work.—Jedi Kasra ("Indeed.") 20:49, April 16, 2013 (UTC)
  • Thanks. Cade Calrayn 20:53, April 16, 2013 (UTC)

Comments

Defender-class light corvette

• Nominated by: Cade Calrayn 22:32, March 17, 2013 (UTC)
• Nomination comments: Project Hero. Every time Cav mentions how many FANs he has, I feel obligated to match him.

(2 Inqs/0 Users/2 Total)

Support

1. IFYLOFD ^{(Floyd's crib)} 22:48, March 19, 2013 (UTC)
2. Sir Cavalier of One^{(Squadron channel)} 09:16, April 11, 2013 (UTC)

Object

Floyd hates your articles

• I'm seeing a little discrepancy here between the intro and the description section: the intro says the Defender-class was based off of both the Thranta-class and the unnamed consumer corvette, but the Description says that it was modeled off the consumer corvette, and it was the consumer corvette that was based off the Thranta. Any thoughts?
  • Bah, that's been fixed.
• "Docking Bay 74 of the spaceport on the Republic's capital of Coruscant." What spaceport? I'm sure there are thousands on Coruscant.
  • Fixed.
• Could we get a link for the "Force-induced plagues of madness"?
  • Done, I'll handle the redlinks tomorrow. Cade Calrayn 03:41, March 19, 2013 (UTC)
• IFYLOFD ^{(Floyd's crib)} 03:33, March 19, 2013 (UTC)

Cav

• You mention that at least five crew members can man the vessel in the description, but that info doesn't appear in the infobox.
  • Done.
• The BTS mentions that Willsaam's ship has a modified deck plan - however, no mention of this is made in the description section.
  • As the ship in question is twice the size of a Defender-class and the interior is radically different, it can't be a Defender, so I've adjusted the article accordingly.
• Are there no deck plan images available for the class? - Sir Cavalier of One^{(Squadron channel)} 10:25, April 2, 2013 (UTC)
  • Done. Cade Calrayn 17:25, April 3, 2013 (UTC)

Comments

Ayanos Bactra

• Nominated by: Jinzler (talk) 20:40, March 20, 2013 (UTC)
• Nomination comments: A current GA that exceeds the word limit

(4 Inqs/0 Users/4 Total)

Support

1. IFYLOFD ^{(Floyd's crib)} 01:48, March 23, 2013 (UTC)
2. Sir Cavalier of One^{(Squadron channel)} 09:35, April 11, 2013 (UTC)
3. Cade Calrayn 20:25, April 24, 2013 (UTC)
4. CC7567 ^(talk) 18:41, May 14, 2013 (UTC)

Object

Cav

• Article for the retirement colony? - Sir Cavalier of One^{(Squadron channel)} 22:28, April 1, 2013 (UTC)
  • Essentially, this comes from a part of the novel in which the Sith character Arkadia Calimondra states "My last information is he was hiding in a Quermian retirement colony, somewhere. Well, he should be safely out of the fray there." I wasn't quite sure whether this was intended as some kind of bad joke, because he was an old Quermian Sith Lord who was on the run, or whether this was something that the reader should actually seriously. It is for this reason that I put in the article that "Arkadia claimed to have received information" regarding that particular turn of events, rather than explicitly confirming that it happened. If we are treating this as having been intended seriously, then an article for the colony would indeed be a good idea, but if we interpret this as being just a possible joke then an article would be inappropriate. What would you advise, because I am bit uncertain as to what to do here? --Jinzler (talk) 20:47, April 3, 2013 (UTC)
    • I see the dilemma. I would err on the side of not making the article for now, just in case. - Sir Cavalier of One^{(Squadron channel)} 09:35, April 11, 2013 (UTC)

Comments

Coppertop

• Nominated by: Jinzler (talk) 22:17, March 20, 2013 (UTC)
• Nomination comments: A battle droid

(3 Inqs/1 Users/4 Total)

Support

1. Interesting story, solid article. Stake black ^msg 19:33, March 22, 2013 (UTC)
2. IFYLOFD ^{(Floyd's crib)} 23:16, March 24, 2013 (UTC)
3. Sir Cavalier of One^{(Squadron channel)} 09:36, April 11, 2013 (UTC)
4. Cade Calrayn 23:43, May 1, 2013 (UTC)

Object

1. Two consecutive commas in the third quote. Have a look. I would correct it, but I don't know what the original source says. Stake black ^msg 03:04, March 21, 2013 (UTC)
   • Yeah, that there in error, thanks for spotting it. Fixed. --Jinzler (talk) 19:30, March 22, 2013 (UTC)

Floyd has one thing

• Intro: "During the Clone Wars, the battle droid participated in a battle on the planet Bogoa against the forces of the Galactic Republic, a rival state to the Confederacy, and the droid was selected as the subject for an experiment enacted by the Confederate leader Count Dooku, to test the willingness of a programmed being to disregard its primary protocols." This is a very choppy and flow-killing sentence. Try to smooth it out. IFYLOFD ^{(Floyd's crib)} 02:19, March 23, 2013 (UTC)
  • Done --Jinzler (talk) 18:35, March 24, 2013 (UTC)

Cav

• Spelling error in the header quote? Should it read What is your designated number (bolded mine)? Or is it incorrect in the source? - Sir Cavalier of One^{(Squadron channel)} 22:22, April 1, 2013 (UTC)
  • Yeah, that was a mistake, and I have now corrected the quote. Thanks for taking a look at the article. --Jinzler (talk) 20:49, April 3, 2013 (UTC)

Attack of the Clone

• The intro paragraph is a tad long; please find somewhere to separate it.
• There's a very small inconsistency that I nevertheless would like to address. Depending on personal preference, you can either choose to include the "a/an" attributive in links, e.g. a battle vs. a battle. There's a slight discrepancy regarding this in the article, since the intro uses a battle while the Bio section uses an engagement. Both are correct, but I would ask that you choose one style for consistency and keep it in mind for the future.
• It seems like the "Characteristics" section would be a good place to reiterate the fact that Coppertop decided to deactivate himself, since that was a rather extreme expression of his personality.
• The Bts should reflect that The Only Good Clanker was reprinted in Star Wars: The Clone Wars Magazine 9.
• Unless there is a confirmed canonical connection between Coppertop and the more political-based droid rights movement in the "See also" section, I would ask that the "See also" section be removed. I realize that it's a related topic, but in this case, it seems more like OR than an official connection. CC7567 ^(talk) 17:46, May 14, 2013 (UTC)

Comments

Burra

• Nominated by: —MJ— ^{Training Room} 19:16, March 23, 2013 (UTC)
• Nomination comments: GA over 1,000 words, originally written by Jonjedigrandmaster. Took more cleanup than I thought would be needed to get it ready, as there were some factual errors and missing information. First nom for WP:NOVELS, also falls under WP:LE.

(3 Inqs/1 Users/4 Total)

Support

1. IFYLOFD ^{(Floyd's crib)} 23:30, March 24, 2013 (UTC)
2. 501st dogma^(talk) 22:43, April 7, 2013 (UTC)
3. Sir Cavalier of One^{(Squadron channel)} 09:38, April 11, 2013 (UTC)
4. CC7567 ^(talk) 23:59, May 19, 2013 (UTC)

Object

Cav

• Infobox needs reloading. At least the "mass" field is missing.
  • Done.
• I feel like one of the Skywalker's - preferably Luke as the Grand Master and elder of the two - should be refered to by his surname throughout, with the other going by their given name. - Sir Cavalier of One^{(Squadron channel)} 22:10, April 1, 2013 (UTC)
  • I personally disagree. Neither is the subject of the article and both are used with roughly equal frequency, and so saying "Skywalker" is ambiguous and potentially confusing to the reader even if used consistently. Additionally, "Skywalkers" in the plural is used several times for both, and so a reader might have difficulty separating the singular from the plural on a quick scan of the article if the surname is used in the singular as well. —MJ— _{Council Chambers} 00:46, April 2, 2013 (UTC)

501st

• You keep referring to the Order. Is this the Jedi Order, or the Barran Do? If it is the Jedi Order, you should link to it. If it isn't you should state that the Barran Do were also known as the Order.
  • It's the Baran Do. Most instances have been reworded to use pronouns or other nouns; one instance still uses a lowercase "order" as a common noun, and the last capitalized "Order" is part of the formal title "Master of the Order", which is linked and should be obvious from the context.
• "Ben then began to reveal to the Hidden Ones the many lies which Ziil told them—that there was only one tunnel in and out of the caverns and that a technique for telepathically reinstating the Hidden Ones existed—..." Are these examples of the lies, or the truths Ben told. It is not clear here.
  • Ziil's lies. Clarified.
• The beginning paragraph of the body deviates quite a bit from Burra. Could you cut it out/change it up so it focuses on Burra more? 501st dogma^(talk) 00:20, April 5, 2013 (UTC)
  • The first paragraph seems to focus quite well on Burra to me. If you meant the first section (or the plural "paragraphs"), then we have to establish what's going on with Luke and Ben, i.e. why are they visiting the Baran Do, why do they want to speak to Ziil, how did they discover the Hidden Ones, that kind of thing. It's necessary context; I can't just drop them in the caverns with no explanation of how they got there. It's possible that I could move the second and third paragraphs under the "Leaving the Hidden Ones" header to more clearly establish what the context is related to, but otherwise, I don't see anything that could easily be cut without hindering the reader's ability to understand what's going on, unless you have specific suggestions (which I'm open to). —MJ— _{Council Chambers} 01:45, April 5, 2013 (UTC)
    • I guess its fine as it is. I'll continue the review soon. 501st dogma^(talk) 14:22, April 6, 2013 (UTC)
• I'm a little confused on why Luke wants to change the Hidden Ones' during the naming ceremony. 501st dogma^(talk) 18:05, April 7, 2013 (UTC)
  • Does this help clarify it? —MJ— _Comlink 19:01, April 7, 2013 (UTC)
    • That looks good, but after your change, you say that the Kel Dor changed his name to Burra when he became a Hidden One. I don't think you can refer to him as Burra until you say he changed his name to Burra. You could use the Kel Dor who would become Burra, or just call him a Kel Dor until you name him. I also think you should say in the intro that he changed his name to Burra. 501st dogma^(talk) 20:31, April 7, 2013 (UTC)
      • Done and done. —MJ— ^{Training Room} 22:29, April 7, 2013 (UTC)

Attack of the Clone

• Any relevant images that can be added? CC7567 ^(talk) 18:50, May 14, 2013 (UTC)
  • The best I could do would be to put in an image of Luke or Ben, but such an image would be purely aesthetic and not directly supporting the article's text (since the subject of the article is Burra and not Luke or Ben), and I frankly feel that we should be doing less of that, not more, as it's not really defensible from a fair use standpoint. However, I can toss one in if you insist. —MJ— ^Holocomm 00:40, May 15, 2013 (UTC)
    • I don't see any harm in doing so. To put it simply, having an image can make an article more interesting to a visitor to the wiki, by having a point of visual depiction to spark interest. Unless there's a major issue, I would encourage you to find an image to add somewhere. CC7567 ^(talk) 04:55, May 15, 2013 (UTC)
      • Added the Luke and Ben portraits from the Atlas. —MJ— _Comlink 02:29, May 16, 2013 (UTC)

Comments

Chara

• Nominated by: —MJ— ^Holocomm 03:23, March 24, 2013 (UTC)
• Nomination comments: Existing GA by Jonjedigrandmaster. For WP:NOVELS/WP:LE.

(3 Inqs/0 Users/3 Total)

Support

1. IFYLOFD ^{(Floyd's crib)} 23:46, March 24, 2013 (UTC)
2. Sir Cavalier of One^{(Squadron channel)} 10:06, May 1, 2013 (UTC)
3. CC7567 ^(talk) 23:55, May 19, 2013 (UTC)

Object

Cav

• Infobox needs reloading. At least the "mass" field is missing.
  • Done.
• No article for the duel between Ben and Paan?
  • I don't feel it deserves one. Duel articles IMO should be limited to mortal combat between clear enemies. Ben and Paan aren't enemies, and neither would truly injure the other for something as relatively minor as access to the Baran Do. It's merely a test and thus more akin to a glorified training duel.
    • Then, at the very least, as it is described as "a tradition between rival Force schools", is the actual tradition article-worthy?
      • I would lean toward no simply because I don't think we have enough information to make an article worthwhile. However, while taking another look at the book to check on this, I discovered a factual error, which has now been corrected. :) —MJ— ^{Jedi Council Chambers} 00:40, April 12, 2013 (UTC)
• Chronologically speaking, shouldn't: The Skywalkers inferred that Ziil, whom they had been told had previously "accepted death," be inserted into the article before its current mention? They came looking for Ziil, and no mention of his fate was mentioned until this moment.
  • Now mentioned in the correct chronological place.
• Who is Burra? He/she is just dropped into the end of the narrative.
  • Contextified. Burra isn't at all relevant to Saal's story until there at the end, so I can't really mention him earlier.
• I feel like one of the Skywalker's - preferably Luke as the Grand Master and elder of the two - should be refered to by his surname throughout, with the other going by their given name. - Sir Cavalier of One^{(Squadron channel)} 22:04, April 1, 2013 (UTC)
  • I personally disagree. Neither is the subject of the article and both are used with roughly equal frequency, and so saying "Skywalker" is ambiguous and potentially confusing to the reader even if used consistently. Additionally, "Skywalkers" in the plural is used repeatedly for both, and so a reader might have difficulty separating the singular from the plural on a quick scan of the article if the surname is used in the singular as well.
• After reading Burra's article, I see no reference to Ziil's lies to the surface on the Skywalker's deaths and the cutting off of their oxygen canister supply, nor to the explosives in the cavern, etc. If these things are relevant enough to Burra's article, surely they are relevant to Saal's as well? - Sir Cavalier of One^{(Squadron channel)} 22:12, April 1, 2013 (UTC)
  • Mentioned the explosives, though with less detail as they're less relevant to Saal than to Burra (as Burra is the one to reveal the alternative exit). After consideration, I'm not going to mention the lies about the Skywalkers' deaths because it's simply not relevant to Saal at all. It's relevant to Burra only because Burra directly protests against killing the Skywalkers, but once Ziil says he's going to kill the Skywalkers, Saal doesn't participate in the story again until after the Zill/Luke fight, so it would be mere fluff here. —MJ— _Comlink 00:42, April 2, 2013 (UTC)
• Okay - big one; if Charsae Saal took the name Chara as his new identity, then should the article be moved to Chara to reflect this? - Sir Cavalier of One^{(Squadron channel)} 10:22, April 11, 2013 (UTC)
  • This is tricky; yes, he changed his name to Chara, but it's somewhat unclear as to whether he changed it back after the Hidden Ones returned to the surface. Back on the surface, Luke says this, which could mean one of two things: either A) Saal changed his name back, or B) Luke's just continuing with his practice of referring to Hidden Ones by their living names when he knows them. I would lean toward it being a combination of the two, as it seems unlikely that he would retain his death name when returning to life; rather, it would make sense to return to the name people on the surface knew you by. So while it's unclear whether it was changed back, common sense says that he would. What do you think? —MJ— ^{Jedi Council Chambers} 00:40, April 12, 2013 (UTC)
    • I would lean towards renaming the article. We know he changed his name, but not whether he changed it back. In light of that information, I would tend to think we go with the certainty over the possible. - Sir Cavalier of One^{(Squadron channel)} 14:52, April 23, 2013 (UTC)
      • I hope this is done. The first time I tried to move it, Wikia's servers gave me a "technical difficulties" notice, and I then discovered that it had moved the article without moving the talk page, placing the new title on my watchlist, or even creating an entry in the move log or a redirect at the old title. I think I got all of that fixed, but let me know if I missed something. —MJ— _{Council Chambers} 20:40, April 23, 2013 (UTC)

Attack of the Clone

• There seems to be some inconsistency with the capitalization of "sages" or "sage" throughout the article. Could you clarify this? Even if the source is inconsistent, the article should still reflect the most-used or prevalent capitalization. CC7567 ^(talk) 19:01, May 14, 2013 (UTC)
  • The book consistently capitalizes "Sages" when used in the phrase "Baran Do Sages" and puts it in lowercase when used by itself. The article should now reflect this, unless I've missed something. The book never uses the phrase "Baran Do Sage" in the singular, but I've chosen to treat it the same as "Baran Do Sages" in that it seems to be the formal title (hence why it would be capitalized and "sage(s)" by itself isn't). —MJ— _Comlink 00:30, May 15, 2013 (UTC)
  • Addendum: the choice to capitalize the singular "Baran Do Sage" is supported by the Jedi Academy Training Manual, which uses the singular form frequently in its two-page spread on the organization. —MJ— _{Council Chambers} 01:17, May 15, 2013 (UTC)
• As with Burra, I would request that an image (or perhaps more, if you feel inclined) be added to the article, if there's a relevant one that can be added. CC7567 ^(talk) 04:56, May 15, 2013 (UTC)
  • Done. —MJ— _{War Room} 02:39, May 16, 2013 (UTC)

Comments

I'm glad I chose to read the book again before nominating these articles. The amount of basic errors, misinformation, and missing information in these articles is astounding. This one took me over two hours of work to clean it up to the point where I was comfortable nominating it. —MJ— ^Holocomm 03:23, March 24, 2013 (UTC)

Nal Kenuun

• Nominated by: ToRsO bOy (talk) 06:16, March 24, 2013 (UTC)
• Nomination comments: Existing GA, being upgraded to FA.

(3 Inqs/1 Users/4 Total)

Support

1. Sir Cavalier of One^{(Squadron channel)} 14:54, April 23, 2013 (UTC)
2. ~Savage 16:26, April 24, 2013 (UTC)
3. Cade Calrayn 03:03, May 11, 2013 (UTC)
4. IFYLOFD ^{(Floyd's crib)} 00:48, May 14, 2013 (UTC)

Object

Floyd

• Link for Kenuun's podracing team?
  • There wasn't any mention of Kenuun's podracing team. If he had one, it wasn't made available to Luke. All he had was Artoo, Leia, Han, X-7 and Threepio. --
• Same for the race?
  • Done
• "and X-7, the latter of whom the Rebels were unaware was actually an Imperial assassin secretly using the alias Tobin Elad," I think this should be reversed. This should be something like "and Tobin Elad, who was secretly the Imperial assassin X-7..."
  • Done
• As such, you should probably refer to him as Elad throughout the article. If you're writing this from Kenuun's POV, it's unlikely he knows of Elad's secret identity.
  • Done ToRsO bOy (talk) 02:31, April 4, 2013 (UTC)
• IFYLOFD ^{(Floyd's crib)} 00:25, March 25, 2013 (UTC)

Cav

• In order to prove his loyalty and earn the Rebel's trust, X-7 offered himself to Kenuun - why is X-7 trying to win their trust? Up until this point, there is no reason to think that the Rebels don't trust him as he is posing as Tobin.
  • Explaining why he needed to earn their trust would be too long, and will seem out of place with the article. Is it ok if I remove that line instead?
    • If it confuses the issue more, and there is no real need of it, then sure. However, a small mention of why X-7 was infiltrating the Alliance upon first mention would be appreciated.
      • Removed. And added this line on X-7's mention. who was secretly the Imperial assassin assassin X-7 tasked to assassinate Skywalker ToRsO bOy (talk) 23:46, April 12, 2013 (UTC)
• Are there article from Grunta's podracer and the podracer that Skywalker flew in the race?
  • Done
• BTS needs to be updated with his mention in the ERC.
  • Added, but I'm currently not sure if it's a direct or indirect mention. Would you happen to know anyone who has a copy of the ERC so I can confirm? ToRsO bOy (talk) 02:31, April 4, 2013 (UTC) - Sir Cavalier of One^{(Squadron channel)} 21:51, April 1, 2013 (UTC)
    • I'll check my copy and add information as appropriate. - Sir Cavalier of One^{(Squadron channel)} 09:53, April 11, 2013 (UTC)
      • He's explicitly mentioned under the book's entry. - Sir Cavalier of One^{(Squadron channel)} 14:54, April 23, 2013 (UTC)

Cadeth

• "The datacard contained a set of secret financial accounts" - I think you mean it contained information on the accounts. Also, an article for the datacard? Cade Calrayn 20:16, April 30, 2013 (UTC)
  • Done! ToRsO bOy (talk) 01:58, May 11, 2013 (UTC)

Attack of the Clone

• Please provide some context on Haari Ikreme Beeerd in the P&T quote caption, as that's the only place that the character is mentioned.
• Any relevant images that can be added?
• Wow, I barely remember reading this as a GAN. Bizarre. CC7567 ^(talk) 19:37, May 14, 2013 (UTC)

Comments

Riiken

• Nominated by: —Jedi Kasra ("Indeed.") 03:28, March 26, 2013 (UTC)
• Nomination comments: On behalf of the recent drive here. For WP:KOTOR.

(3 Inqs/1 Users/4 Total)

Support

1. Hanzo Hasashi (talk) 15:02, March 26, 2013 (UTC)
2. IFYLOFD ^{(Floyd's crib)} 02:16, March 29, 2013 (UTC)
3. Sir Cavalier of One^{(Squadron channel)} 14:55, April 23, 2013 (UTC)
4. Cade Calrayn 00:03, May 2, 2013 (UTC)

Object

Hanzo

• As a prelim, include his skin, hair and eye color in the P & T. Also, if he is visibly armed with any weapons, note those too, either in P & T or in their own separate equipment section. Hanzo Hasashi (talk) 04:42, March 26, 2013 (UTC)
  • Done.—Jedi Kasra ("Indeed.") 05:02, March 26, 2013 (UTC)

Floyd

• Shouldn't something about the Sullio investigation be mentioned in the intro?
• No P&T quote? IFYLOFD ^{(Floyd's crib)} 23:40, March 26, 2013 (UTC)
  • Both taken care of.—Jedi Kasra ("Indeed.") 01:03, March 27, 2013 (UTC)

Cav

• Infobox needs reloading. At least the "mass" field is missing.
  • Done.
• Riiken watched a recording by the duo, - was the recording of the murder made by Surik and Nikko? Because that's what's implied by the wording.
  • Clarified.
• I linked Merchant Quarter and it turned out to be a redirect so I removed it. However, I think a proper article for the Merchant Quarter is needed. - Sir Cavalier of One^{(Squadron channel)} 21:39, April 1, 2013 (UTC)
  • Redlinked.—Jedi Kasra ("Indeed.") 23:26, April 1, 2013 (UTC)
    • Needs linking in the intro, too, which means the article needs to be created :P - Sir Cavalier of One^{(Squadron channel)} 09:55, April 11, 2013 (UTC)
      • Done.—Jedi Kasra ("Indeed.") 15:39, April 13, 2013 (UTC)

Comments

3D-4X administrative droid

• Nominated by: Sir Cavalier of One^{(Squadron channel)} 23:45, March 26, 2013 (UTC)
• Nomination comments: Part 1A of Unofficial Cav Project: Genetech/Geentech

(1 Inqs/0 Users/1 Total)

Support

1. IFYLOFD ^{(Floyd's crib)} 02:53, March 29, 2013 (UTC)

Object

Comments

Etro Edthatt

• Nominated by: Stake black ^msg 01:40, April 3, 2013 (UTC)
• Nomination comments: An uphill battle to hit the 1,000 word mark, but done!

(3 Inqs/3 Users/6 Total)

Support

1. There is a very good reason I don't have this book. - Sir Cavalier of One^{(Squadron channel)} 10:00, April 11, 2013 (UTC)
2. Uh, what? Anyway, you gonna get his wife to status?—Jedi Kasra ("Indeed.") 20:37, April 16, 2013 (UTC)
3. 501st dogma^(talk) 14:18, April 21, 2013 (UTC)
4. ~Savage 16:34, May 12, 2013 (UTC)
5. IFYLOFD ^{(Enter the Floydome)} 00:20, May 16, 2013 (UTC)
6. ... Cade Calrayn 15:48, May 18, 2013 (UTC)

Object

Cav

• choking books and paintings - this sounds very odd. Is "choking" the correct word here?
  • "Choking", yup. It is an odd book.
• You describe Duros physical traits twice - once in the bio, once in the PT. I think you only need it once. - Sir Cavalier of One^{(Squadron channel)} 23:55, April 5, 2013 (UTC)
  • All right. Stake black ^msg 01:11, April 6, 2013 (UTC)

501st

• Could we have an articles for some of the Humans, like the house wife and the young Human that helps them?
  • Done.
    • Could we have an article for the guy who showed him the naked females? 501st dogma^(talk) 20:07, April 16, 2013 (UTC)
      • Okay. Stake black ^msg 20:44, April 16, 2013 (UTC)
• Otherwise, almost wackier than usual. 501st dogma^(talk) 21:02, April 15, 2013 (UTC)
  • Innit? Stake black ^msg 12:53, April 16, 2013 (UTC)

Savaged…

• I know you were trying to get this up to FA length, but some of it just comes off as padding that is really unnecessary to this article. For instance, we never require detailed context on alien species; it's enough just to say he was a Duros and leave it at that, rather than going into the history of the planet Duro. I can accept the physical description bits, but not the planetary history and location stuff.
  • Since the source never indicated where the couple is from, I thought it would be nice to add some reference for the reader as to whereabouts they're probably from, or at least their species in general. If not entirely relevant, IMHO it doesn't hurt.
    • Yikes. Completely forgot about this nom. Sorry! OK, I still think it's not needed, since we don't know they are from Duro. Maybe they're from a colony world, for instance. ~Savage 16:05, May 12, 2013 (UTC)
      • Removed it. Stake black ^msg 16:15, May 12, 2013 (UTC)
• The physical description is mostly OK, but we probably don't need to know he had no lips, had an olfactory organ, and had green blood. I mean, if this were a Human, you wouldn't go into detail about "Han Solo had a nose and a mouth, like all Humans, and two ears on the sides of his head." That kind of stuff is reserved for alien species articles.
  • Removed.
• I'm not sure the recap of the story is necessary in BTS -- The story forms the biography in the rest of the article, so there's not really a need to rehash it. Instead, you can explain the Earth references in the article, citing external sources if need be, for the fact that "Urthha" sounds like Earth, and the picture is that of a blender.
  • Good one.
• Can you indicate what source identifies the Duros as the de Maals? You have sources cited, but it's probably worth including the relevant information in the prose itself. ~Savage 14:06, April 21, 2013 (UTC)
  • Done. Thanks for the review, Bob. Stake black ^msg 18:46, April 21, 2013 (UTC)

Floyd

• Intro redlink. That's a no-no.
  • Ok.
• "who originated on the polluted Core World planet of Duro long before the dawn of the Galactic Republic." This history of the species really does not seem relevant. This is about one specific dude, not the whole species.
  • Weird, I thought I had removed that.
• "Etro Edthatt was born a male Duros," Saying he "was born" something, rather than just saying he was something, implies that he changed into something else after his birth.
  • Removed.
• "since neither of them spoke the local language, in order to readily comprehend Human speech." Is it safe to assume this "language" and "speech" is Basic? IFYLOFD ^{(Floyd's crib)} 01:03, May 14, 2013 (UTC)
  • With that book, almost nothing is safe to assume, I'm afraid. Stake black ^msg 02:57, May 14, 2013 (UTC)
    • Heh. Alright. IFYLOFD ^{(Enter the Floydome)} 00:20, May 16, 2013 (UTC)

Comments

Kina Margath

• Nominated by: Sir Cavalier of One^{(Squadron channel)} 23:41, April 5, 2013 (UTC)
• Nomination comments: Because when Cade gets grumpy at new FANs, I just keep going.

(2 Inqs/0 Users/2 Total)

Support

1. IFYLOFD ^{(Floyd's crib)} 23:14, April 12, 2013 (UTC)
2. I categorically object to the adjective grumpy. Cade Calrayn 00:16, May 2, 2013 (UTC)

Object

Floyd

• "complex into a thriving success with a galaxy-wide reputation employing over 1,500 full-time and around 4,500 part-time workers." What kind of reputation? This info is present in the intro but not here.
  • Added.
• What do you mean by orphaned operatives? I'm imagining a bunch of Oliver Twists with blasters.
  • Context added, but I enjoyed that visual a lot more than the reality.
• "Margath enjoyed the notion of allowing Alliance operatives to use her businesses as safehouses as long as they attracted no Imperial attention." Did she simply enjoy the notion, or actually carry it out? IFYLOFD ^{(Floyd's crib)} 02:01, April 8, 2013 (UTC)
  • Clarified. Thanks for the review. - Sir Cavalier of One^{(Squadron channel)} 13:35, April 10, 2013 (UTC)

Comments

Ithia

• Nominated by: —MJ— ^{Jedi Council Chambers} 02:49, April 6, 2013 (UTC)
• Nomination comments: Another existing GA by Jujiggum. WP:NOVELS, WP:LE, and all that stuff.

(2 Inqs/0 Users/2 Total)

Support

1. IFYLOFD ^{(Floyd's crib)} 23:27, April 8, 2013 (UTC)
2. Sir Cavalier of One^{(Squadron channel)} 14:56, April 23, 2013 (UTC)

Object

Floyd has one thing

• In the Early life section, you actually introduce and link Charsae Saal twice. IFYLOFD ^{(Floyd's crib)} 02:23, April 8, 2013 (UTC)
  • That's what I get for spending too much time staring at it late at night. :P Fixed. —MJ— _{Council Chambers} 02:34, April 8, 2013 (UTC)

Cav

• If Ithia is the name she took upon joining the Hidden Ones, then she should not be refered to as such until she takes on the name. - Sir Cavalier of One^{(Squadron channel)} 10:21, April 11, 2013 (UTC)
  • Done. —MJ— _{Council Chambers} 00:25, April 12, 2013 (UTC)

Comments

Confrontation in the Caverns of the Hidden One

• Nominated by: —MJ— _{War Room} 04:21, April 6, 2013 (UTC)
• Nomination comments: Another existing GA by Jujiggum. This will probably be the last one from me, at least for a while. WP:NOVELS, WP:LE, etc.

(2 Inqs/1 Users/3 Total)

Support

1. IFYLOFD ^{(Floyd's crib)} 23:28, April 8, 2013 (UTC)
2. Supreme Emperor (talk) 03:11, April 12, 2013 (UTC)
3. Sir Cavalier of One^{(Squadron channel)} 14:58, April 23, 2013 (UTC)

Object

Floyd has one thing

• You have the entire Prelude in a single subsection. Is that really necessary? Do we need a subsection at all? IFYLOFD ^{(Floyd's crib)} 02:36, April 8, 2013 (UTC)
  • Extraneous header axed. —MJ— _{War Room} 02:38, April 8, 2013 (UTC)

Sup

• In the intro, could you have the date and location in the first sentence?
  • Moving the date was easy, but less so for the location. After looking at it for a couple minutes, I don't see a graceful way to get the location into the first sentence while at the same time retaining the names of the combatants and necessary context without turning it into a run-on sentence. So the location has been left in the second sentence; if you have a suggestion on how to work it into the first sentence, I'm all ears. —MJ— _{War Room} 00:20, April 12, 2013 (UTC)
    • Actually that looks good with just the date in the first line.
• I shall continue tomorrow. Supreme Emperor (talk) 03:10, April 11, 2013 (UTC)
• Can you add in the novels release date in the behind the scenes? Supreme Emperor (talk) 01:11, April 12, 2013 (UTC)
  • Done. —MJ— ^Holocomm 03:09, April 12, 2013 (UTC)

Cav

• Quote attribution: "Charsae Saal to Koro Ziil" - should this be amended to "Chara to the Hidden One" since these were the identities they had adopted at the time? Also, should Ziil be refered to as such at all? Should he be "the Hidden One" in his references (this goes for the other articles on this subject you have nommed). - Sir Cavalier of One^{(Squadron channel)} 10:34, April 11, 2013 (UTC)
  • Quote attribution changed, but I'm leaving the rest of the references to "Ziil" unchanged. Using both "the Hidden One" and "the Hidden Ones" many times in close proximity would get too confusing; additionally, Luke and Ben never refer to him as the Hidden One anyway, only as Koro Ziil, and so it can be argued that both names were "in use". That said, "the Hidden One" is used a few times in the confrontation section where the action focuses heavily on Ziil to minimize repetition, so it's not completely unrepresented. —MJ— _{War Room} 00:20, April 12, 2013 (UTC)

Comments

Battle in Brentaal space

• Nominated by: 501st dogma^(talk) 23:23, April 11, 2013 (UTC)
• Nomination comments: The longest battle words wise of the Far Orbit's campaign

(2 Inqs/0 Users/2 Total)

Support

1. IFYLOFD ^{(Floyd's crib)} 22:38, April 25, 2013 (UTC)
2. Sir Cavalier of One^{(Squadron channel)} 10:21, May 1, 2013 (UTC)

Object

Floyd

• As a ship name, generic as it is, shouldn't SPF 14987 be italicized?
  • It isn't in the book.
• "second-officer Dhas Fenoep Vedij of the Imperial Navy's EF76 Nebulon-B escort frigate Far Orbit led some of its crew to mutiny." Why?
  • There.
• "as Emperor Palpatine himself had learned of Kenit's loss in control of the Far Orbit," Loss in control of the Far Orbit is very awkward wording.
  • Better?
• Articles for the Imperial officers aboard the SPF?
  • They're only mentioned as three officers that accompany the crew, and aren't defined in any way. I don't think we need the articles.
• IFYLOFD ^{(Floyd's crib)} 03:40, April 23, 2013 (UTC)
  • Thanks for looking it over. 501st dogma^(talk) 18:48, April 24, 2013 (UTC)

Comments

Baydo Chasdy

• Nominated by: Sir Cavalier of One^{(Squadron channel)} 12:26, April 15, 2013 (UTC)
• Nomination comments: 1,062 words. Be gentle.

(1 Inqs/0 Users/1 Total)

Support

1. IFYLOFD ^{(Floyd's crib)} 04:33, April 23, 2013 (UTC)

Object

Comments

• There was a note deleted from the BTS about it being strange for him to be rescuing Rebels who had already found their way to Mon Calamari. I'm presuming it was too speculative? —Silly Dan _(talk) 01:29, April 16, 2013 (UTC)
  • Well, yes and no. True, the section on Fathoms featuring Chasdy includes the information that Mon Calamari is free of Imperial control, so his "rescuing" of agents seems a little strange since any Rebel getting to Mon Calamari is presumably in safe territory. However, since the agents he recovers are implied to usually be covert operatives and spies, they may use other means of return to the Alliance to avoid being further identified by Imperial and criminal spies. I will try to re-add the information into the BTS if you feel its important enough? - Sir Cavalier of One^{(Squadron channel)} 08:59, April 16, 2013 (UTC)
    • I think it could be mentioned, but I'll leave it up to other reviewers. (That's why I put this under "comments", not "objections".) —Silly Dan _(talk) 13:25, April 16, 2013 (UTC)

Dron

• Nominated by: —Jedi Kasra ("Indeed.") 17:47, April 16, 2013 (UTC)
• Nomination comments: Done on a whim. Let's see if the third time's the charm. For WP:TCW.

(3 Inqs/1 Users/4 Total)

Support

1. Looks like Tim Curry. Hanzo Hasashi (talk) 03:57, April 17, 2013 (UTC)
2. IFYLOFD ^{(Floyd's crib)} 01:58, April 24, 2013 (UTC)
3. Cade Calrayn 22:29, May 6, 2013 (UTC)
4. Sir Cavalier of One^{(Squadron channel)} 12:33, May 10, 2013 (UTC)

Object

Floyd

• Can we get an article for the specific Lucrehulk? Certainly seems notable enough.
• "During the Clone Wars, in which the Galactic Republic battled the Confederacy of Independent Systems for galactic supremacy," Were they really fighting for galactic supremacy? I thought the CIS was fighting for independence and such, and freedom to be evil.
• Seems the way you're capitalizing "admiral" is inconsistent.
• IFYLOFD ^{(Floyd's crib)} 04:46, April 23, 2013 (UTC)
  • All done, apparently, the article existed.—Jedi Kasra ("Indeed.") 00:46, April 24, 2013 (UTC)

Cav

• Can we get some clarification on where McQuarrie is in the fleet? Serving under Dron or aboard another ship?
• Can we add the comic artist to the BTS? - Sir Cavalier of One^{(Squadron channel)} 10:51, May 1, 2013 (UTC)
  • Done, I believe.—Jedi Kasra ("Indeed.") 20:22, May 1, 2013 (UTC)

Comments

• Acknowledging Thefourdotelipsis' previous work on the article.—Jedi Kasra ("Indeed.") 17:47, April 16, 2013 (UTC)

Praven

• Nominated by: Cade Calrayn 18:56, April 16, 2013 (UTC)
• Nomination comments: Project Hero. This guy's an excellent character.

(2 Inqs/1 Users/3 Total)

Support

1. IFYLOFD ^{(Floyd's crib)} 22:39, April 25, 2013 (UTC)
2. 501st dogma^(talk) 00:01, April 30, 2013 (UTC)
3. Sir Cavalier of One^{(Squadron channel)} 11:20, May 1, 2013 (UTC)

Object

Floyd

• Not an objection per se, but is there an article for the assault on the Jedi Temple, or is that part of the Sacking of Coruscant article as a whole?
  • Nah, it's part of the Sacking.
• "and they witnessed Darth Malgus aid his Twi'lek lover, Eleena Daru, after she had been injured in the battle." Is there any particular significance to this?
  • Not really; Malgus notices the remaining Sith watching him while he tends to Eleena, and Praven was one of those Sith.
• Would like just a little more context on the Treaty of Coruscant.
  • Done.
• Since it's so relevant, could we get a little more info on the Shock Drum? What does it do?
  • Done.
• "Praven sent the Jedi the coordinates for the Esus Mesa and awaited his opponent there, and he was at the far edge of the mesa, gazing out across the Dune Sea, when he sensed the Knight's powerful presence in the Force approaching." The flow here is pretty bad. Fix.
  • Done.
• "Praven understood that Tarnis had died because the Knight was more powerful than he was," Than who? Praven or Tarnis?
  • Fixed.
• "Having shed his title of Lord in exchange," In exchange for what?
  • Bah, fixed.
• "Praven's pride in his heritage was so strong that he killed an Imperial officer for not showing him the proper respect." How exactly does this relate to his heritage?
  • Specified. Cade Calrayn 20:19, April 24, 2013 (UTC)
• IFYLOFD ^{(Floyd's crib)} 03:10, April 24, 2013 (UTC)

501st

• Intro: there's a bunch of events that you could link to. Do so.
  • Done.
• Early life: "...sometime before the end of the Great Galactic War with the Sith Empire." I believe you mean with the Republic.
  • Fixed.
• Please make sure you link to everything that is important, including events. In the Early life section you are missing the link to the attack on the Temple, and I'm certain you are missing other event links later on.
  • There isn't an article on the attack on the Temple; it's just the Sacking of Coruscant.
• Context on Nar Shadda and Alderaan in Angral's fury.
  • Done.
• Confrontation and redemption is a little play by play. Praven said this, Hero said that, so could you maybe cut it down a bit?
  • I don't really think it's necessary, as I think what they discuss is rather relevant. Cade Calrayn 23:56, April 29, 2013 (UTC)
• 501st dogma^(talk) 23:49, April 29, 2013 (UTC)

Comments

Cragmoloid

• Nominated by: ~Savage 02:09, April 19, 2013 (UTC)
• Nomination comments: This is an old Skippy Farlstendoiro GA that is long enough to be upgraded. I gave it a facelift, so here ya go! ~Savage 02:09, April 19, 2013 (UTC)

(3 Inqs/1 Users/4 Total)

Support

1. IFYLOFD ^{(Floyd's crib)} 22:40, April 25, 2013 (UTC)
2. Sir Cavalier of One^{(Squadron channel)} 10:01, May 1, 2013 (UTC)
3. Ayrehead02 (talk) 14:15, May 3, 2013 (UTC)
4. Cade Calrayn 17:56, May 3, 2013 (UTC)

Object

Floyd has one thing

• In the second intro paragraph, the flow is very very choppy. Please fix. IFYLOFD ^{(Floyd's crib)} 03:22, April 24, 2013 (UTC)
  • Have a look. And thanks for the review! ~Savage 10:49, April 24, 2013 (UTC)

Comments

• Shouldn't Best Birthday Ever be included in the Appearances section as {{Pos}}? Stake black ^msg 02:26, April 19, 2013 (UTC)
  • I've been told in other FANs that the Pos template is deprecated and that we don't really use it in appearances sources anymore. The argument is that we should only include things we're sure of there, but we can discuss the ambiguity in a BTS section with no problem. ~Savage 03:42, April 19, 2013 (UTC)

Unidentified Dulok (diamond)

• Nominated by: ~Savage 19:36, April 20, 2013 (UTC)
• Nomination comments: Another too-long GA. Should be a quick read, I hope. :) ~Savage 19:36, April 20, 2013 (UTC)

(3 Inqs/1 Users/4 Total)

Support

1. IFYLOFD ^{(Floyd's crib)} 03:25, April 24, 2013 (UTC)
2. 501st dogma^(talk) 00:04, April 25, 2013 (UTC)
3. Sir Cavalier of One^{(Squadron channel)} 09:22, May 1, 2013 (UTC)
4. Cade Calrayn 23:46, May 1, 2013 (UTC)

Object

Comments

Dutra Zeneta

• Nominated by: Sir Cavalier of One^{(Squadron channel)} 21:53, April 30, 2013 (UTC)
• Nomination comments: Sorry Cade. Not really.

(1 Inqs/0 Users/1 Total)

Support

1. IFYLOFD ^{(Floyd's crib)} 23:20, May 6, 2013 (UTC)

Object

Comments

Nullada

• Nominated by: 501st dogma^(talk) 12:19, May 1, 2013 (UTC)
• Nomination comments: I sense a fat joke coming...

(1 Inqs/0 Users/1 Total)

Support

1. IFYLOFD ^{(Floyd's crib)} 23:33, May 10, 2013 (UTC)

Object

Floyd

• Could we get some context on what exactly the Shell Hutts were?
  • Done.
• "That year, the bounty Oph Nar Dinnid traveled to Circumtore for refuge, and a group of bounty hunters led by Boba Fett followed him." The bounty Oph Nar Dinnid? We don't refer to people who have bounties on their heads as "bounties". Please fix.
  • There.
• "However, Gravhess placed a bounty on his head," On whose? Gheeta or his own?
  • Remedied.
• "That year, the Lyunesi Oph Nar Dinnid had a bounty placed on his head" Why?
  • Better?
• "the repulsorlift cylinder, a thing that most of the Shell Hutts wore around their body, dwarfed many of the other Shell Hutts' gear." Come on. You can describe it better than a "thing".
  • There.
• "The Shell Hutts let him stay on Circumtore, because Dinnid had memory augmentors placed in his brain, which were stuffed with top secret information regarding the Narrant system." Why would this sway them?
  • There you go.
• "A team of bounty hunters from the Bounty Hunters' Guild traveled to Circumtore in order to capture Dinnid for the bounty on his head." You need to introduce this better, and integrate it better with the information preceding it. As it stands right now it's very abrupt and absolutely kills the flow.
• "the Shell Hutts were keeping him as a long term investment because the Narrant secrets were valuable." How so? What's the deal with the Narrant system?
  • Is that better?
• There needs to be more context on every member of the bounty hunting team. The way it is now, you say their names like we should know them already.
  • I disagree. I've contextified them as bounty hunters already, which should do as most of them aren't mentioned any more.
    • Eh........ fine. IFYLOFD ^{(Floyd's crib)} 23:33, May 10, 2013 (UTC)
• "However, before they could strike, Fett detonated a bomb that Gravhess had put in the hall when the architect had built it, which dazed and stunned most of the occupants of the hall, including Nullada, who was tipped over in his repuslorlift cylinder." Bad flow, split this sentence up.
  • There.
• Felt like this was a little lazily written. I know you can do better, Dogma. IFYLOFD ^{(Floyd's crib)} 00:17, May 7, 2013 (UTC)
  • Thanks for looking it over. 501st dogma^(talk) 20:35, May 7, 2013 (UTC)

Comments

• For Forum:SH:Project Hutts: Wookieepedia's Sixth Barn-Burner!
• Dude, get that image of D'harhan on Circumtore from the EGW. Cade Calrayn 23:10, May 3, 2013 (UTC)
  • There you go. 501st dogma^(talk) 23:45, May 3, 2013 (UTC)

Satele Shan

• Nominated by: Cade Calrayn 16:32, May 2, 2013 (UTC)
• Nomination comments: Project Hero presents the Jedi version of the Sith Emperor. 111.5 KB at the start.

(0 Inqs/0 Users/0 Total)

Support

Object

Comments

1. I hate context. Satele appears for 30 seconds about a dozen times in TOR.
2. I hate Fatal Alliance. Cade Calrayn 16:32, May 2, 2013 (UTC)

Skup

• Nominated by: ~Savage 00:12, May 3, 2013 (UTC)
• Nomination comments: My first barn burner entry of the season, just over the word limit. ~Savage 00:12, May 3, 2013 (UTC)

(1 Inqs/3 Users/4 Total)

Support

1. 501st dogma^(talk) 22:30, May 5, 2013 (UTC)
2. Fuck TCW. IFYLOFD ^{(Floyd's crib)} 00:44, May 7, 2013 (UTC)
3. --Eyrezer (talk) 08:41, May 11, 2013 (UTC)
4. Ayrehead02 (talk) 15:27, May 13, 2013 (UTC)

Object

1. In the last image in the BTS, could you give all the text in the text box? Right now you're missing the text for the Skup. 501st dogma^(talk) 22:04, May 4, 2013 (UTC)
   • Thanks for taking a look! But can you elaborate a bit? I'm not sure what you're referring to. ~Savage 16:37, May 5, 2013 (UTC)
     • I'm reffering to File:Anky and Greedo.png, the last one in the article. In the image itself, Greedo's textbox has writing, while the Skup's doesn't. I was wondering if you could get a version of the file that has the full text box for the Skup. 501st dogma^(talk) 16:53, May 5, 2013 (UTC)
       • Oh, I see what you mean. Greedo's text bubble went off the frame into the next frame, so I thought it would be more aesthetically pleasing to cut it off. We're supposed to remove the text when the bubble gets cut off, so that's why there's no speech there. Does that make sense? ~Savage 19:41, May 5, 2013 (UTC)
         • Oh, okay, then no objections here. 501st dogma^(talk) 22:30, May 5, 2013 (UTC)

Comments

Uphrades

• Nominated by: Cade Calrayn 17:09, May 3, 2013 (UTC)
• Nomination comments: A pre-existing Project Hero GA above the limit; not much has changed.

(1 Inqs/1 Users/2 Total)

Support

1. IFYLOFD ^{(Floyd's crib)} 00:52, May 7, 2013 (UTC)
2. Ayrehead02 (talk) 13:30, May 13, 2013 (UTC)

Object

Comments

Sarn Shild

• Nominated by: Green Tentacle ^(Talk) 21:05, May 9, 2013 (UTC)
• Nomination comments: Barn-burner nom.

(1 Inqs/2 Users/3 Total)

Support

1. Nice article. 501st dogma^(talk) 00:19, May 13, 2013 (UTC)
2. Ayrehead02 (talk) 21:20, May 13, 2013 (UTC)
3. IFYLOFD ^{(Floyd's crib)} 01:27, May 14, 2013 (UTC)

Object

Ayrehead

1. You should merge the two paragraphs of behind the scenes. The second one is too short.
   • Merged. Green Tentacle ^(Talk) 19:22, May 13, 2013 (UTC)
2. I feel the last tow paragraphs of the biography could also be merged. Ayrehead02 (talk) 14:04, May 13, 2013 (UTC)
   • One deals with the battle, the other with the aftermath. I think they're different enough to remain apart. Green Tentacle ^(Talk) 19:22, May 13, 2013 (UTC)
     • There just both a bit short but I'll leave it up to you. Ayrehead02 (talk) 21:20, May 13, 2013 (UTC)

Comments

The Wraith

• Nominated by: Sir Cavalier of One^{(Squadron channel)} 11:52, May 10, 2013 (UTC)
• Nomination comments: Another nom. DarkStryder. Been a while.

(1 Inqs/1 Users/2 Total)

Support

1. Ayrehead02 (talk) 13:47, May 13, 2013 (UTC)
2. "Oh, poor Wraith. I miss him." "The man with the poison gun didn't." IFYLOFD ^{(Enter the Floydome)} 03:18, May 17, 2013 (UTC)

Object

Floyd

• The quote in the second bio section doesn't directly talk about the Wraith, but it's relevant enough - however, you should add a bit to the quote attribution to really connect that link. IFYLOFD ^{(Enter the Floydome)} 00:10, May 16, 2013 (UTC)
  • Hopefully, that reads better. - Sir Cavalier of One^{(Squadron channel)} 09:15, May 16, 2013 (UTC)

Comments

Riileb

• Nominated by: Ayrehead02 (talk) 13:28, May 13, 2013 (UTC)
• Nomination comments:For the barnburner and WP:Aliens

(0 Inqs/0 Users/0 Total)

Support

Object

Floydliminaries

• You're dropping your images in the middle of paragraphs, which you really shouldn't do. Stick them in the line breaks between paragraphs.
• This actually causes an issue in the Society and culture section. You squeeze the image into the middle of a sentence, causing the appearance of a line break and a new paragraph. This isn't a good look.
  • Fixed the image placement issues both. Ayrehead02 (talk) 10:46, May 16, 2013 (UTC)
• This whole article could really use a good copyedit. There's plenty of people out there that are more than willing to give them. Fix these and I'll take another look. IFYLOFD ^{(Enter the Floydome)} 00:17, May 16, 2013 (UTC)
  • I've done one myself but I imagine more is needed. Ayrehead02 (talk) 10:46, May 16, 2013 (UTC)

Comments

Kintan crusher

• Nominated by: ~Savage 13:58, May 13, 2013 (UTC)
• Nomination comments: A new species from SWTOR for the Hutt Barnburner. ~Savage 13:58, May 13, 2013 (UTC)

(0 Inqs/1 Users/1 Total)

Support

1. Ayrehead02 (talk) 16:03, May 17, 2013 (UTC)

Object

Ayrehead

• "other tactics included slapping and stomping the foe, and either stomping or stomping the ground and force an opponent to fly backward." This sentence doesn't seem quite right. Stomping seems repeated at least once to many times and shouldn't it be forcing? Ayrehead02 (talk) 12:33, May 14, 2013 (UTC)
• If possible could you add the concept image you mention in the Bts? Ayrehead02 (talk) 12:33, May 14, 2013 (UTC)
  • Thanks for the feedback. Both suggestions have been addressed! ~Savage 14:04, May 17, 2013 (UTC)

Comments

Kharrus

• Nominated by: CC7567 ^(talk) 21:50, May 14, 2013 (UTC)
• Nomination comments: Jones.

(2 Inqs/0 Users/2 Total)

Support

1. IFYLOFD ^{(Enter the Floydome)} 00:31, May 16, 2013 (UTC)
2. Cade Calrayn 15:36, May 18, 2013 (UTC)

Object

Comments

Cato Parasitti

• Nominated by: CC7567 ^(talk) 21:50, May 14, 2013 (UTC)
• Nomination comments: A Clawdite for you.

(0 Inqs/0 Users/0 Total)

Support

Object

Floyd has one thing

• Do we really need the two-sentence final bio section? It can't be integrated with the one before? IFYLOFD ^{(Enter the Floydome)} 00:43, May 16, 2013 (UTC)
  • I can move it to the last section if you think it's necessary, but the two-year gap in information was what led me to create a new section. It didn't make much sense to me to group it together. (And it was also for the possibility that there's new material, which of course isn't a guarantee.) CC7567 ^(talk) 23:57, May 19, 2013 (UTC)
    • I really just don't like creating a whole new subsection for something so small. I would advise you stick it in the end of the last section, and if anything new comes along you can change it back. IFYLOFD ^{(Enter the Floydome)} 23:49, May 20, 2013 (UTC)

Comments

Battle of Sarrish

• Nominated by: CC7567 ^(talk) 21:50, May 14, 2013 (UTC)
• Nomination comments: WP:TCW. Part Two of CloneProject: Outer Rim Sieges. (We'll see what comes next.)

(1 Inqs/0 Users/1 Total)

Support

1. IFYLOFD ^{(Enter the Floydome)} 23:49, May 20, 2013 (UTC)

Object

Floyd has one thing

• "Thanks to Gregor's sacrifice," His sacrifice? What sacrifice? IFYLOFD ^{(Enter the Floydome)} 00:59, May 16, 2013 (UTC)
  • Changed to "efforts" to avoid having to go into too much detail about the episode. Thanks for the review. CC7567 ^(talk) 23:58, May 19, 2013 (UTC)

Comments

Battle of Cato Neimoidia (Separatist attack)

• Nominated by: CC7567 ^(talk) 21:50, May 14, 2013 (UTC)
• Nomination comments: WP:TCW. As long as you take the EU into account, it doesn't interfere with the timeline, for once.

(1 Inqs/0 Users/1 Total)

Support

1. IFYLOFD ^{(Enter the Floydome)} 01:32, May 16, 2013 (UTC)

Object

501

• In the Aftermath section, I think you should mention that Gunray is not captured.
• Could you completely source the BtS? I think that the battle has no apparent result could be sourced to ref 1.
• Could you alphabetize the categories? Good work otherwise. 501st dogma^(talk) 20:58, May 21, 2013 (UTC)

Comments

B'rknaa

• Nominated by: LelalMekha (talk) 13:27, May 15, 2013 (UTC)
• Nomination comments: Guest nom for the WookieeProject Aliens

(1 Inqs/0 Users/1 Total)

Support

1. IFYLOFD ^{(Enter the Floydome)} 03:21, May 17, 2013 (UTC)

Object

Floyd

• "Jace Forno, a Human female from Corellia, once sold a single crystal for fifty thousand credits. Forno intended to steal as many clusters as she could and put them for sale on the open market in order to gain substantial income." Shouldn't this just stay in the History section?
  • Well, I wanted to have that part there because it helps understand how powerful (and thus valuable) the crystals are. But I can remove it if you like. --LelalMekha (talk) 01:59, May 16, 2013 (UTC)
    • Eh, now that you put it that way I can understand it. IFYLOFD ^{(Enter the Floydome)} 03:21, May 17, 2013 (UTC)
• Are all the double refs really necessary? IFYLOFD ^{(Enter the Floydome)} 01:51, May 16, 2013 (UTC)
  • Most of them weren't, obviously. I only left one, because you actually need the two sources to prove that the B'rknaa were primitive by galactic standards: you've got to see how they live (in the comic) and check what the standard tech levels are in the reference book. --LelalMekha (talk) 01:59, May 16, 2013 (UTC)
    • Fair enough. IFYLOFD ^{(Enter the Floydome)} 03:21, May 17, 2013 (UTC)

Comments

• I wanted to GAN it, but with the new rules on GA length, it became impossible. Please note that I can't explain what "one large B'rknaa specimen was enough to handle all the systems power of a planetoid" means. That's what the source says, and there's no explanation whatsoever as to what "systems power" means. --LelalMekha (talk) 13:27, May 15, 2013 (UTC)

Cadomai Prime

• Nominated by: IFYLOFD ^{(Enter the Floydome)} 01:11, May 20, 2013 (UTC)
• Nomination comments: Alone in the clouds all blue, lying on an eiderdown. Yippee! You can't see me but I can you.

(0 Inqs/0 Users/0 Total)

Support

Object

Comments

Farstine

• Nominated by: Sir Cavalier of One^{(Squadron channel)} 18:50, May 20, 2013 (UTC)
• Nomination comments: First WEG EU planet? Over 1,000 words? Seriously, I was thinking GAN here.

(1 Inqs/0 Users/1 Total)

Support

1. IFYLOFD ^{(Enter the Floydome)} 00:48, May 21, 2013 (UTC)

Object

Comments

Boz (Lizling)

• Nominated by: 501st dogma^(talk) 23:31, May 20, 2013 (UTC)
• Nomination comments: Pity Boz, for he hath lost his buddy

(0 Inqs/0 Users/0 Total)

Support

Object

Floyd

• "While on the planet Rutal IV in 10 ABY, Boz learned in a bar from the former crew of the pirate Bar-Kooda, Ry-Kooda's brother, that the pirate lord had been slain." Really awkward, confusing wording here.
• "and he proceeded to take out the support columns of the bar, " How?
• "Unimpressed by Boz's attempts to act tough, the Lizling" Makes it sound like the Lizling was unimpressed by Boz.
• "fired upon Ry-Kooda with his gun" With his gun or a blaster? IFYLOFD ^{(Enter the Floydome)} 01:23, May 22, 2013 (UTC)

Comments

• For the barn-burner.