Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Barsen'thor (Galactic War)

Barsen'thor (Galactic War)

• Nominated by: QuiGonJinn ^(Talk) 07:41, July 3, 2014 (UTC)
• Nomination comments: Only took me a year and a half to finish this. I've tried to make sure that this reaches the nomination page as smooth as possible, and I believe I have achieved the goal.

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Object

Exiled Jedi

• While often used informally, "they" and "their" are not proper singular pronouns in formal writing. Please go through the article and change all instances of this.--Exiled Jedi (Greetings) 23:36, August 31, 2014 (UTC)
  • Done. QuiGonJinn ^(Talk) 13:07, September 3, 2014 (UTC)

Cadeth

• Similarly to EJ's comment, "the individual" is also really not a good way to refer to the character. For one thing, you seem to by and large not mention the fact that the Consular's going to places with a companion. Up until the Carida, it's always Qyzen, and the rest of the time it should be something like "the Consular and a companion" when you first introduce a planetary storyline. That then opens up several additional terms you can use besides "Jedi", "Consular" - duo, pair, the two. I'm still seeing quite a few theys in there.
  • "Up until the Carida, it's always Qyzen," Not true. C2-N2 is technically a healer companion. Yes, his AI sucks and he tends to suicide a lot by trying to punch people with his bare fists, but he can be used, so we can't assume the player always runs with Qyzen until Tharan. I'll look at the rest of the objection later. Just wanted to get this part out of the way first. QuiGonJinn ^(Talk) 19:06, January 20, 2015 (UTC)
    • I think it's safe to say that the in-continuity player characters never used their ship droids in combat, as the droids even say that they're not designed for combat. Their use as companions is really just game mechanics. Cade Calrayn 19:10, January 20, 2015 (UTC)
      • All parts of the objection should be addressed now. QuiGonJinn ^(Talk) 13:41, February 1, 2015 (UTC)
        • I'm still seeing a number of "individuals", and also, the game goes out of its way to never call the Consular player a Knight, so I'm not sure it's appropriate to call the Barsen'thor one. Cade Calrayn 19:39, February 12, 2015 (UTC)
          • Alright, I have cut down the usage of "individual" considereably (from 88 to 22, at the moment). Out of those, a number refer to other individuals beside the Consular. The most part of the remaining instances are either at the start of the biography, where none of the Jedi titles apply to the character yet. I have kept some uses of the word later as well, just to avoid repetition between constantly referring to the character as a "Jedi", a "Consular" or the "Barsen'thor." Regarding the other point raised, I honestly don't see any reason why we can't call the character a Jedi Knight. We know he was promoted to a "full member of the Jedi order" or whatever the game calls it after Tython, but he was only promoted to Jedi Master at the start of Chapter 2. So what rank could he possibly have held in between Tython and the Fortitude? He was obviously a Jedi Knight even if the game doesn't explicitly state he was one. I'm not going to argue this case, and I've changed the article, but I honestly think it's a case of the duck test, IMO. QuiGonJinn ^(Talk) 10:47, February 23, 2015 (UTC)
• Also, a number of the images are only tangentially related to the character, like that Alderaan one. I'm currently playing through the Consular storyline, and will supply images from the game like I have with the Hero. Cade Calrayn 18:05, January 20, 2015 (UTC)
  • The reason for that is that I decided to write this article to status only after I had already completed the class story. Naturally, I never bothered with taking screenshots as I was playing, and I wasn't going to to go back and play through it again with another character just to obtain images for the article. I decided that I could get away with whatever relevant images I could find already uploaded on the site, but if you have the ability to provide better images, that's great. Go ahead. QuiGonJinn ^(Talk) 13:41, February 1, 2015 (UTC)
    • No problem; you should've seen my original version of the Hero. I think I just used the Holonet images of planets. Cade Calrayn 14:47, February 1, 2015 (UTC)
• No mention of Head Jailer Tarinn in the Imperial Holding Facility on Balmorra? He's got a (silent) cutscene and everything. Cade Calrayn 19:39, February 12, 2015 (UTC)
  • Addressed. QuiGonJinn ^(Talk) 10:47, February 23, 2015 (UTC)

• Okay, I've trimmed a bit, but the intro needs to be cut down some more. Right now it's about 1,200 words, which is a FAN in of itself. Conversely, the Hero's only about 815, and Revan is around 835. You should cut back on some of the details. Cade Calrayn 20:29, May 21, 2015 (UTC)
  • Alright. I think I've pretty much cut every possible extraneous bit of detail, leaving the intro at less than 1000 words. Everything else is necessary context in my opinion. QuiGonJinn ^(Talk) 15:16, June 6, 2015 (UTC)

Culator finds player character articles annoying

• This is not an objection, just an observation: There were many, many typos and grammar issues here, and I haven't even done a full copyedit, just a quick automated scan: indvidual → individual, Leiutenant → Lieutenant, 'returned back' → 'returned' (2), presense → presence, ressurrect → resurrect, 'the the' → 'the' (2). Please be mindful of this, thanks.
  • Noted. Thanks for catching those.
• You have a ref name="The Bounty Hunter's Daughter" that references "Conversation with Qyzen Fess: "A Taste of Medicine"" and a ref name="A Taste of Medicine" that references "Conversation with Qyzen Fess: "A Taste of Medicine"" so I'm guessing one of those is wrong. -- Darth Culator ^(Talk) 17:18, July 25, 2015 (UTC)
  • Fixed. QuiGonJinn ^(Talk) 13:16, July 26, 2015 (UTC)

Comments

• Copycat! :P But anyways, great work. In the past few weeks, we've filled almost 300 redlinks, leaving us only 3200 left for TOR. I'll be sure to review this soon. Cade Calrayn 14:28, July 3, 2014 (UTC)
  • Oh, actually, there's another cut thing from the files—during Corellia, the First Son originally was supposed to send a fleet to attack Sarkhai, causing Nadia to depart temporarily as your companion to go and help her homeworld. It's not entirely clear, but it looks like your actions (i.e. alignment choices) would affected whether Sarkhai won easily or only barely succeeded. Cade Calrayn 14:31, July 3, 2014 (UTC)
    • Done. Thanks for writing up the Hero of Tython, allowing me to shamelessly copy use it as inspiration. QuiGonJinn ^(Talk) 15:40, July 3, 2014 (UTC)
• May I ask why you use "They" or "their" when referring to the Barsen'thor? Winterz (talk) 00:03, August 23, 2014 (UTC)
  • Because we don't know the Barsen'thor's gender, singular they is used to refer to the character in a gender-neutral manner. QuiGonJinn ^(Talk) 07:19, August 23, 2014 (UTC)
• I might be unable to address any future objections on this and my other noms until the end of the month due to studies. I know I've been pretty much inactive on the wiki anyways—kind of lost interest in the Star Wars universe after the new canon took over—but I have been checking my nominations occassionally. However, I'll probably be unable to do even that in the next few weeks. QuiGonJinn ^(Talk) 15:16, June 6, 2015 (UTC)
  • Back to a previous contributing capacity. Starting off with a sizable expansion/rewrite/clarification of certain points. New redlinks will be dealt with soon. QuiGonJinn ^(Talk) 14:49, June 27, 2015 (UTC)