The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Bungo BungEdit

• Nominated by: - Cavalier One^{(Squadron channel)} 14:18, 19 June 2008 (UTC)
• Nomination comments: How many other noms will have the phrase Giant Amorphous Bantha Breakfast Biscuit in it?

(5 Inqs/0 Users/5 Total)Edit

Support

1. Adventure Journals are pure gold. Greyman^(Talk) 03:50, 20 June 2008 (UTC)
2. This is great. -- AdmirableAckbar ^(Talk) 13:49, 21 June 2008 (UTC)
3. Toprawa and Ralltiir 13:24, 25 June 2008 (UTC)
4. Lord Hydronium 09:26, 26 June 2008 (UTC)
5. Thefourdotelipsis 10:12, 26 June 2008 (UTC)

Oppose

1. Toprawa:
   • Your quotes with only two lines should really be in the "Quote" format
     • Redone.
   • This is POV. Please reword: "...blue sauce, the perfect accompaniment to a Breakfast Bantha Biscuit."
     • Reworded.
   • Does the source actually say the work was unspecified? If not, please remove: "During his travels, Bung did some unspecified work for the Mephout"
     • Changed to simply "Bung worked for the Mephout."
   • This is also kind of POVish. Please reword: "would be hard to argue against."
     • Reworded and broken up, but the sentences are paraphrasing Rusti's opinions.
       • That's fine. In that case, I would recommend keeping what you had, but word it to show its from Rusti's perspective. "According to Rusti," or whatever. Toprawa and Ralltiir 13:24, 25 June 2008 (UTC)
   • Can we specify exactly what this relationship was instead of relying on the later "opposition" explanation? "Although he was unaware of the true relationship between the Empire and SoroSuub Corporation" Toprawa and Ralltiir 23:41, 24 June 2008 (UTC)
     • Reworded and expanded. - Cavalier One^{(Squadron channel)} 07:57, 25 June 2008 (UTC)

• The second to last paragraph of "The Great Bantha Breakfast Biscuit Run" has a really long run of participial phrases in a row; "Determined to save the ship, Bung...", "Startled by the lifeform, Bung...", "Cornered by the Giant Amorphous Bantha Breakfast Biscuit, he...", etc. The paragraph after that starts with two more as well. Can you break some of those up for sentence variety? - Lord Hydronium 05:12, 26 June 2008 (UTC)
  • Rewritten. Take a look and see what you think. - Cavalier One^{(Squadron channel)} 09:22, 26 June 2008 (UTC)

Comments

Approved by Inquisitorius 16:32, 26 June 2008 (UTC)