- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.
Contents
Fideltin Rusk[]
- Nominated by: Cade Calrayn 22:35, August 30, 2012 (UTC)
- Nomination comments: Easiest of the five companions to write. Scourge's backstory from Revan makes his article too long.
(4 Inqs/3 Users/7 Total)[]
Support[]
- Well, if Murtag's not going to be in it, then why did I do this review? Dx NaruHina Talk 01:12, September 14, 2012 (UTC)
- IFYLOFD (Floyd's crib) 21:46, October 4, 2012 (UTC)
- Cavalier One(Squadron channel) 09:15, November 13, 2012 (UTC)
- Menkooroo (talk) 03:28, November 17, 2012 (UTC)
- Trak Nar Ramble on 05:26, November 19, 2012 (UTC)
- Plagueis327 (talk) 18:48, November 21, 2012 (UTC)
- CC7567 (talk) 04:40, November 22, 2012 (UTC)
Object[]
Naru's review[]
"He later served during the Geonosis campaign with Durant, a man who would eventually become a general in the Republic High Command." This is unsourced.NaruHina Talk 01:57, August 31, 2012 (UTC)- Done.
"During the tenuous peace brought to the galaxy by the Cold War, Rusk was assigned to the 301st Infantry and stationed on the remote ice planet of Hoth, where his unit battled pirates from the White Maw organization." This is very similar to the corresponding intro sentence."As tensions rose and the Cold War's peace collapsed around 3642 BBY, both the Republic and the Empire returned to Hoth in a desperate scramble to recover whatever remained of the technology and weapons that had been lost during the battle." Unsourced.- Done.
"However, when the Hero and crew arrived on the planet, Sergeant Rusk's unit was under attack by an Imperial force and were pinned down." This makes it seem like the Hero met them right after landing.- Done.
"causing the Chagrian to order Private Dromol to stand down and drop the insubordination." Saying "drop" here is far too colloquial. Also, it reads as "the sqaud was misbehaving, so Rusk told Dromol to shut the hell up." Was not the entire squad chastened?- Mostly Dromol, but fixed regardless.
Deference should be named at the shuttle's first mention.- Done.
That the Jedi were looking for the plans should be relayed when the mission is first mentioned. Just because Rusk was not allowed to know just yet does not mean the reader isn't allowed.- Done.
"Within the hangar, Rusk and his men fought the White Maw strike force there and killed their Gen'Dai leader, Zeshatt, escaping with no casualties" jumps to "Dismayed at the loss of his team, Rusk undertook the trek back to Outpost Zerek himself." No one was hurt, but the whole team was lost?- Mix up from the original way I wrote it when I thought his squad died.
You say Krannus was committing a mass genocide. What race was he trying to destroy? "Omnicide" would be the closest thing to destroying all life on the planet, if that's what you're going for.NaruHina Talk 03:51, August 31, 2012 (UTC)Have we been referencing our "community consensus" in the text of other TOR status articles? That's highly irregular.NaruHina Talk 04:03, August 31, 2012 (UTC)Ref 10 is broken.NaruHina Talk 07:44, September 1, 2012 (UTC)- Fixed.
Five redlinks.NaruHina Talk 07:44, September 1, 2012 (UTC)The Surgeons are not named in the body. Should that war crimes conviction be mentioned in Rusk's article at all?NaruHina Talk 23:25, September 3, 2012 (UTC)In captions, complete sentences require periods.NaruHina Talk 15:37, September 13, 2012 (UTC)
Picshas[]
The bio should be sprinkled with images of him instead of images of other things.Menkooroo (talk) 05:39, September 4, 2012 (UTC)
Floyd[]
Seeing linking issues.- Completely relinked.
Intro: You mention that the Hero of Tython had a mission, but you should probably say what the mission's objective was when you first mention it.- Moved the objective to the first of the two sentences.
"In a final showdown, the Knight's crew aided Grand Master Satele Shan and the Republic Military in an invasion of the Imperial capital, Dromund Kaas, while the Hero and the astromech droid T7-O1 faced and defeated the Emperor in a final battle." You use the word "final" twice here. Try to avoid this kind of repetition.- Done.
In early career, you use the word "valiantly" twice in quick succession.- Done.
In your image caption regarding Rusk's stance on insubordination, you say he was well-known for it, but without indication what his stance was.- Done.
I'm seeing you use {{Ref| in places where it isn't appropriate.- Removed.
Do we really need the one paragraph section (Working with the Jedi)? Can it be merged with the one before or after?- Merged.
Links for the other members of his unit that were killed? There's only one for Murtag.- Their bodies don't appear in the game, and none of the four are named, so no.
You have the image caption "The other four members of Rusk's squad were killed by the probe droids." I find this lacking. You need to have a description of what's in the picture itself to have it make more sense.- Changed.
Any word on Murtag's fate?- Added that he's left with the med droids.
Link to ME-D?- IFYLOFD (Floyd's crib) 22:34, October 3, 2012 (UTC)
Cav[]
Intro: but became considered a pariah as a result of his belief that soldiers were meant to be used despite the consequences. - the start of this sentence seems to be either missing a few words, or has too many. Please clarify as necessary.- Done.
Intro: mention Rusk was a sergeant before using it to describe him.- Done.
Intro: Rusk is part of the 301st, but is there an article for his unit that assisted the Hero while on Hoth to link to? Needs to apply to the bio as well.- Done.
Intro: Article for Emperor's Fortress to link to?- It's the Emperor's space station; I first thought the name was "space fortress".
- Intro: Article for the capture of the Jedi strike team?
- Added link to the mission.
Early career: Fideltin Rusk was born in 3680 BBY to a colony of Chagrian pacifists - he was born to the entire colony?- Fixed.
Early career: end of third paragraph is unreffed.- Done.
Early career: While he was acquitted each time and given a medal, Rusk was denied a promotion—so while soldiers gained recognition, commendations, and promotions, Rusk was passed over for promotions and remained a sergeant personally leading squads into battle. - multiple repetitions of "promotion". Please reword to avoid.- Done.
Early career: article for the destruction of the Chagrin colony on Mindor?- Done.
The Jedi's mission: is there an article for the specific model of probe droid used against Rusk?- Cavalier One(Squadron channel) 14:10, November 6, 2012 (UTC)
The Chagrian![]
Rusk isn't mentioned in the third paragraph of the intro. Can you throw it in a few times? Things like "Rusk and the crew" rather than just "the crew," etc.- Done.
"The Hero and crew traveled to the planets Belsavis, Voss, and Corellia in order to stop the Emperor's agents from committing genocide and rescued the strike team members from their enemy's control." What strike team? I'm confused.Scratch that; I'm an idiot.Some overlinking and over-contexting in the intro: Grand Master and Satele Shan.- Done.
Usual objection for ref [9]: Can you take an all-or-nothing approach to linking? Either link everything, or just link things that aren't linked elsewhere in the article? The linking in the ref note is pretty random right now and some kind of consistency would be best.- Done. I'll fix up the other references that I come across.
Ref [10] appears twice in succession in the fourth paragraph of "Early career." Is one of them supposed to be something else?- Fixed.
Can you give some context on the cold war when you introduce it in the bio?- Done.
"Narezz ordered Rusk and his men to wait for her signal to enter the caves." Some context is needed; this is the first time the article mentions any caves.- Done.
Are all of the biography sub-sections after "Early career" supposed to be sub-sections of "Early career" ? Seems like a mistake.- Done.
The quote attribution for "Taking the fight to them" looks like it's backwards. Can you name the speakers in the order in which they speak?- I removed several subsections and quotes, so fixed.
When the Starship Graveyard is referred to as just "the graveyard," graveyard is sometimes capitalized and sometimes not. Consistitize, baby.- Done.
"Speeder" is a disambig page; can you specify and link to a specific kind of speeder?- Done.
"Master Jedi, the defeat of the Sith Empire is easily the most ambitious mission I have ever given." Should there be a "been" before given?- Quote removed, as the sections were way too short.
Is there a Force power to pipelink to "foreseen" ? Force vision, precognition... ?- Done.
Is Carsen not trained as a Sith too? The biography says that she's imprisoned along with Rusk, but the intro says "the Hero and the other members of the Jedi strike team were turned to the dark side and trained as Sith." If the bio's correct, that intro sentence will need some slight rewording for accuracy.Menkooroo (talk) 04:40, November 16, 2012 (UTC)- She's apparently immune thanks to her experience as a Child, which I've now explained in the bio.
The P&T doesn't seem to mention his lack of tolerance for insubordination.- Done.
Check out my changes in the copy-edit of "the sergeant" to "the Sergeant," per the MOS --- any time the rank refers to the person (eg, "the Sergeant liked mustard"), it needs to be capitalized.- Alright.
Does anything noteworthy happen if Rusk accompanies you on any of the missions? Anything that could be added to the third paragraph of the BTS? Also, is there anything more to be added to the BTS about what can happen to Rusk if you choose dark side options? Just checking for completeness's sake.- No, he just gains or loses influence according to his "likes" and "dislikes". He approves of some dark and some light side options.
Since Category:Republic Army officers falls within Category:Galactic Republic military officers, you don't need to include both of them --- only the smallest one.- Removed.
No mention of C2-N2? All the other companions are name-dropped.- He's not mentioned/doesn't appear in anything but the first conversation with the droid after getting the ship, so there's not really anything to mention.
- That's all I have. Good work. Menkooroo (talk) 08:06, November 16, 2012 (UTC)
Attack of the Clone[]
Does the Hero of Tython's unit deserve an article? We've done that before for other units that haven't been officially named.- Not in my opinion, as we didn't do one for Revan and the Exile's companions.
As I've told you before, Consensus Track links are not sufficient references—they are internal policy, not ones that we use for mainspace articles. Please decide what to do for ref 34 instead of using the CT.- Sorry, I'm confused. I don't know what I could possibly use as a reference other than the CT, since that's where the decision was made to choose light-side options.
- A manually written reference note should be used, specifying how we treat light-side options (as in the case here), since CTs on their own aren't reference material. Apologies about the confusion. CC7567 (talk) 21:34, November 21, 2012 (UTC)
- Actually, sorry, I didn't realize that you already detailed this in the text of the article. I'm not sure if citing the CT is necessary here, given that you already explain the CT's assumption of light side alignment, but I'll check with someone else and get back to you. CC7567 (talk) 21:39, November 21, 2012 (UTC)
- I was asked to weigh in on this, so here goes. The fact that the ref just links to the CT seems very unprofessional to me. Someone looking at that ref note (without clicking on it) will have no clue what it means. The decision of the CT should be explained in the ref. It should explain why we decided that light side is canon. The ref note is not supposed to just say "Light side is canon," since we already know that. It needs to explain why it's canon. Hope that helps.—Cal Jedi (Personal Comm Channel) 03:20, November 22, 2012 (UTC)
- Actually, sorry, I didn't realize that you already detailed this in the text of the article. I'm not sure if citing the CT is necessary here, given that you already explain the CT's assumption of light side alignment, but I'll check with someone else and get back to you. CC7567 (talk) 21:39, November 21, 2012 (UTC)
- A manually written reference note should be used, specifying how we treat light-side options (as in the case here), since CTs on their own aren't reference material. Apologies about the confusion. CC7567 (talk) 21:34, November 21, 2012 (UTC)
- Sorry, I'm confused. I don't know what I could possibly use as a reference other than the CT, since that's where the decision was made to choose light-side options.
Quotation marks need to be outside punctuation. Please make this a habit.- Even if the punctuation isn't part of the actual mission name?
- Yeah, the American convention is usually to place quotation marks outside of punctuation in most, if not all, cases. CC7567 (talk) 21:34, November 21, 2012 (UTC)
- Even if the punctuation isn't part of the actual mission name?
"Therefore, this article assumes that the Knight allowed Sergeant Rusk to choose, and that his squad survived." This sentence is cited to a source, but notes about the article's assumptions shouldn't need references. Please clarify.CC7567 (talk) 23:10, November 20, 2012 (UTC)
Comments[]
Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 04:40, November 22, 2012 (UTC)
- Hey Cade, we apparently have a {{RepublicHeader}} template to note that we're assuming Republic choices based on the class. That should be at the top of this and the other Project Hero articles that include alignment assumptions. NaruHina Talk 09:18, September 17, 2012 (UTC)