The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Herron DadeEdit

• Nominated by: Cavalier One^{(Squadron channel)} 01:18, February 26, 2012 (UTC)
• Nomination comments: DarkStryder is a-rolling!

(4 Inqs/3 Users/7 Total)Edit

SupportEdit

1. Great work. Do you happen to know how many DarkStryder articles are left to go?—Cal Jedi ^{(Personal Comm Channel)} 02:24, February 28, 2012 (UTC)
   • About a hundred planned. Here is a list. And I find new ones each day. - Cavalier One^{(Squadron channel)} 08:45, February 28, 2012 (UTC)
2. Menkooroo 03:12, March 5, 2012 (UTC)
3. Hanzo Hasashi 00:14, March 29, 2012 (UTC)
4. Plagueis327 15:01, April 6, 2012 (UTC)
5. Green Tentacle ^(Talk) 23:42, April 21, 2012 (UTC)
6. Nice work. ~Savage 23:31, April 24, 2012 (UTC)
7. --Eyrezer 00:28, April 28, 2012 (UTC)

ObjectEdit

Mushroom Cutting?Edit

• Is the Imperial-controlled government article-worthy? It seems like you have it classified as part of the Empire; if that's more accurate, cool beans.
  • Well, its a government with an Imperial Governor, Vice-Governor and Cabinet, but with a civilian advisory board and planetary militia led by a native. Imperial-controlled seems to be the best description.
• The intro and the bio seem to describe events differently. The former doesn't mention the Bank parliament until the very end and earlier states that the planet is thrown into chaos following Sarne's departure, which makes Dade's and Lang's power-grabs seem as if they're attempting to impose order on anarchy. The bio has the Bank parliament immediately establishing control after Sarne's departure and doesn't really present a picture of chaos. Can you reconcile the two?
  • Added a little something to the intro. Hopefully that should work.
• The last sentence of the BTS ends with a preposition, but I can't figure out a good way to fix it without doing quite a bit of re-wording. So I'll leave it to you. :) Great work! Menkooroo 04:25, March 3, 2012 (UTC)
  • Try that, and thank you. - Cavalier One^{(Squadron channel)} 19:49, March 3, 2012 (UTC)

Green TentacleEdit

• His rank of general should be established early in the biography. It's not mentioned until the last paragraph.
  • Fixed.
• Governor is written twice in all lower case but Vice-Governor and Acting-Governor are capitalized. Should they all be the same for consistency?
  • Standardized with capitalisation - the source capitalises Vice- and Acting-Governor as such.
• Just to confirm, I assume there are no quotes? Green Tentacle ^(Talk) 12:49, April 21, 2012 (UTC)
  • None at all. He was never in the narrative. - Cavalier One^{(Squadron channel)} 23:03, April 21, 2012 (UTC)

Savaged…Edit

• "After Sarne's departure, it was discovered that he had transferred the majority of the Imperial personnel stationed on the planet..." Could this be rephrased in active voice to say who discovered this?
  • Clarified.
• Is "Acting-Governor" a title from the OS? If not, I'd switch to "acting Governor."
  • Acting-Governor is correct, according to the source
• "Lang, who had been maneuvered into the attending the ceremony..." Can this be elaborated upon? Who maneuvered her and how? Was she cajoled, say? That's it. NIce article! ~Savage 17:59, April 24, 2012 (UTC)
  • No elaboration is given, just that he maneuvered her into it. Thanks for the review. - Cavalier One^{(Squadron channel)} 23:24, April 24, 2012 (UTC)
    • Ah, wait, I didn't mention that Dade had done the maneuvering. How and why is still a mystery, but probably ties into his "native son" schtick. - Cavalier One^{(Squadron channel)} 23:26, April 24, 2012 (UTC)

CommentsEdit

Approved by Inquisitorius 00:28, April 28, 2012 (UTC)