- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.
Contents
Stend VI[]
- Nominated by: Imperators II(Talk) 15:50, September 13, 2017 (UTC)
- Nomination comments: Celebrating twenty years of Wretched Hives of Scum & Villainy!
(3 Inqs/4 Users/7 Total)
(Votes required: No additional votes required to pass, please consider reviewing another article.)
Support[]
- 1358 (Talk) 18:48, September 28, 2017 (UTC)
- Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 21:47, October 11, 2017 (UTC)
- Exiled Jedi (talk) 18:30, October 21, 2017 (UTC)
- Cwedin(talk) 08:44, January 20, 2018 (UTC)
- JangFett (Talk) 03:47, January 21, 2018 (UTC)
- Imp noms are best noms. MasterFred(Whatever) 17:06, January 21, 2018 (UTC)
- Ayrehead02 (talk) 20:48, January 21, 2018 (UTC)
Object[]
Ecks Dee[]
Too many images. :P If you have trouble deciding which ones to keep, I'd recommend you don't remove the colorful ones, because who doesn't love some color on an otherwise black-text-on-white-page monotone hell.1358 (Talk) 20:09, September 26, 2017 (UTC)- Should be good now, at least in Oasis. :P Imperators II(Talk) 20:36, September 26, 2017 (UTC)
I feel like the star system should be mentioned in the intro; it feels more relevant than the sector, but I guess both is fine too.- ...OK, here it makes more sense than on the Volik article. Added. Imperators II(Talk) 22:22, September 27, 2017 (UTC)
albeit is a great word, but unlike although, it cannot be used to introduce an independent clause.- Switched to although, then.
"The Pits' owner, the famed racer Blizz Pinnix, occasionally appeared at Raptor Run; however, since the champion's face had never been seen in public, it was possible Pinnix was present at the cantina at any given moment." Who is "the champion" in this sentence? Pinnix? Please clarify.- I left that part as is except for changing "racer" to "racing champion" (and splitting the sentence in two since the two parts aren't really contrasted). Is that clearer? Unfortunately, Pinnix's gender is unknown, which makes the wording a bit more challenging task, kinda like with the RPG player characters.
- Removed the second part altogether. Imperators II(Talk) 14:19, September 28, 2017 (UTC)
- I left that part as is except for changing "racer" to "racing champion" (and splitting the sentence in two since the two parts aren't really contrasted). Is that clearer? Unfortunately, Pinnix's gender is unknown, which makes the wording a bit more challenging task, kinda like with the RPG player characters.
"A zone of hundreds of square kilometers originally designated as an Imperial Ordinance Detonation Test Area, what would eventually become known as Raptor Run was filled with rocky cliffs, canyons and serpentine valleys, as well as labyrinthine jagged paths twisting through them." At what time did the area look like that? It sounds like "in year X, it looked like this, and then later on it became the Raptor Run". If the cliffs and stuff are actually a description of Raptor Run itself, I suggest you leave out the "what would eventually become known as".1358 (Talk) 21:05, September 27, 2017 (UTC)- No date specified; it's just said the area was formerly an Imperial ODTA. I've removed the part you mentioned (good observation, ecks); does it make more sense now? Imperators II(Talk) 22:22, September 27, 2017 (UTC)
Toprawa[]
It doesn't make sense to say that the planet's surface had a moderate hydrosphere, as the hydrosphere is not part of the planet's physical surface. Please revise: "The surface of Stend VI featured mountains, plains, and a moderate hydrosphere..."I definitely think you should create an article for the Tatooine kid who completed Raptor Run. That's a pretty notable accomplishment to merit an article.Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 20:18, October 11, 2017 (UTC)- Created. It's glorious. Imperators II(Talk) 21:23, October 11, 2017 (UTC)
Comments[]
Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 20:55, January 21, 2018 (UTC)