- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.
Contents
Harro Kelpura[]
- Nominated by: Corellian PremierThe Force will be with you always 00:56, May 8, 2018 (UTC)
- Nomination comments: Returning to the old days
(3 ACs/2 Users/5 Total)[]
Support[]
- grunny@wookieepedia:~$ 17:02, June 26, 2018 (UTC)
- Ayrehead02 (talk) 10:47, June 30, 2018 (UTC)
- Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 03:58, July 29, 2018 (UTC)
- Nice work --Lewisr (talk) 16:20, July 29, 2018 (UTC)
- 1358 (Talk) 18:32, July 29, 2018 (UTC)
Object[]
Ayrehead[]
You'll need to say what source states that Nuru Kungurama was found 11 years before the clone wars in the date ref.Ayrehead02 (talk) 22:19, May 8, 2018 (UTC)- The book itself. Added. Corellian PremierThe Force will be with you always 16:06, May 9, 2018 (UTC)
You merge the two one-sentence paragraphs.Ayrehead02 (talk) 22:19, May 8, 2018 (UTC)- And done. Corellian PremierThe Force will be with you always 16:06, May 9, 2018 (UTC)
You should mention somewhere that this is all on Coruscant.Ayrehead02 (talk) 22:19, May 8, 2018 (UTC)- Also added. Corellian PremierThe Force will be with you always 16:06, May 9, 2018 (UTC)
- I'd still specifically mention the events of the fourth book in the reference. Ayrehead02 (talk) 09:51, May 19, 2018 (UTC)
- Added. Corellian PremierThe Force will be with you always 13:07, May 19, 2018 (UTC)
- I'd still specifically mention the events of the fourth book in the reference. Ayrehead02 (talk) 09:51, May 19, 2018 (UTC)
- Also added. Corellian PremierThe Force will be with you always 16:06, May 9, 2018 (UTC)
You're going to need to expand the second date reference, I'm not really seeing how it dates the specific events in that paragraph.Ayrehead02 (talk) 22:19, May 8, 2018 (UTC)- Added series link. Corellian PremierThe Force will be with you always 16:06, May 9, 2018 (UTC)
Who are Breakout Squad? They're only mentioned in the P&T.Ayrehead02 (talk) 22:19, May 8, 2018 (UTC)- Nuru's Clones. Added context. Corellian PremierThe Force will be with you always 16:06, May 9, 2018 (UTC)
All BTS sections need to be referenced per the last mofference.Ayrehead02 (talk) 22:19, May 8, 2018 (UTC)- D'oh! Corellian PremierThe Force will be with you always 16:06, May 9, 2018 (UTC)
Are there no images appropriate for the body or another quote for the P&T?Ayrehead02 (talk) 22:19, May 8, 2018 (UTC)- Just of Nuru. Corellian PremierThe Force will be with you always 16:06, May 9, 2018 (UTC)
- I'd move the image up into the body and make it much smaller. Ayrehead02 (talk) 09:51, May 19, 2018 (UTC)
- Also added. Corellian PremierThe Force will be with you always 13:07, May 19, 2018 (UTC)
- I'd move the image up into the body and make it much smaller. Ayrehead02 (talk) 09:51, May 19, 2018 (UTC)
- Just of Nuru. Corellian PremierThe Force will be with you always 16:06, May 9, 2018 (UTC)
His connection to the Republic is technically infobox exclusive since the body only mentions the Republic as one of the two sides in the Clone Wars.Ayrehead02 (talk) 22:19, May 8, 2018 (UTC)- Adjusted. Thanks for looking it over! Corellian PremierThe Force will be with you always 16:06, May 9, 2018 (UTC)
The third paragraph of the bio should probably be split, and then the whole section can be sub-sectioned.Ayrehead02 (talk) 06:57, May 24, 2018 (UTC)- Very well. Corellian PremierThe Force will be with you always 15:19, May 24, 2018 (UTC)
- I'd move the quote to the relevant subsection. Ayrehead02 (talk) 08:13, June 3, 2018 (UTC)
- Sure, done. Corellian PremierThe Force will be with you always 14:29, June 3, 2018 (UTC)
- I'd move the quote to the relevant subsection. Ayrehead02 (talk) 08:13, June 3, 2018 (UTC)
- Very well. Corellian PremierThe Force will be with you always 15:19, May 24, 2018 (UTC)
Sorry, one last thing. In the first paragraph of the bio you state that the pod was found twelve years earlier and link to 33 BBY, which I assume means that you can state he started working on it in 21 BBY?Ayrehead02 (talk) 11:38, June 17, 2018 (UTC)- Indeed, it should be 11 years - the article dating had been corrected. Corellian PremierThe Force will be with you always 01:16, June 20, 2018 (UTC)
- Ah ok, in that case you should move the mention of 22 BBY date up to the first paragraph if those events also take place then. Ayrehead02 (talk) 20:15, June 23, 2018 (UTC)
- Adjusted. Should be good. Corellian PremierThe Force will be with you always 16:16, June 26, 2018 (UTC)
- Ah ok, in that case you should move the mention of 22 BBY date up to the first paragraph if those events also take place then. Ayrehead02 (talk) 20:15, June 23, 2018 (UTC)
- Indeed, it should be 11 years - the article dating had been corrected. Corellian PremierThe Force will be with you always 01:16, June 20, 2018 (UTC)
Grunny[]
From reading the intro quote, I believe the first speaker is Kungurama, not Kelpura, is that right? If so, the order they are listed in the attribution should match the order in which they speak in the quote for clarity, so Kungurama should be mentioned first in the attribution for the quote.grunny@wookieepedia:~$ 17:08, June 11, 2018 (UTC)- Indeed! Adjusted. Corellian PremierThe Force will be with you always 02:15, June 12, 2018 (UTC)
In the opening sentence, the "and investigated an alien escape pod" feels like a bit of an awkward addition, and I think it would be better split into its own sentence, maybe with the time period, i.e. finish the first sentence after "Coruscant" and follow it with something like "During the Clone Wars, he was tasked with investigating an alien escaped pod." What do you think?grunny@wookieepedia:~$ 16:58, June 22, 2018 (UTC)- Sure. I split it after "Clone Wars". Thanks for the review. Corellian PremierThe Force will be with you always 16:16, June 26, 2018 (UTC)
Toprawa[]
This sentence is in need of additional context. Like...he investigated an alien escape pod that crashed-landed on Coruscant, for example? Where is this escape pod/what is it doing that he's investigating it? "In the midst of the war, he investigated an alien escape pod..."Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 10:37, July 2, 2018 (UTC)- Sure thing, info added. It doesn't really specify what kind of investigation was being done, though. Thanks for looking it over! Corellian PremierThe Force will be with you always 22:29, July 2, 2018 (UTC)
In reference 2, this statement is not self-sourcing: "The battle takes place just prior to the Star Wars: The Clone Wars: Secret Missions series, including Secret Missions 4: Guardians of the Chiss Key." That needs to be attributed to something. It should say something like "According to [source], the battle takes place just prior..."- Sure, adjusted. Corellian PremierThe Force will be with you always 15:28, July 3, 2018 (UTC)
- There's actually a better way to reference this. The Essential Reader's Companion explicitly dates the events of Guardians of the Chiss Key to 22 BBY. Might want to bone up on your source-checking. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 15:55, July 3, 2018 (UTC)
- Hhmn. Indeed it does. Thanks. Corellian PremierThe Force will be with you always 15:50, July 6, 2018 (UTC)
- There's actually a better way to reference this. The Essential Reader's Companion explicitly dates the events of Guardians of the Chiss Key to 22 BBY. Might want to bone up on your source-checking. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 15:55, July 3, 2018 (UTC)
- Sure, adjusted. Corellian PremierThe Force will be with you always 15:28, July 3, 2018 (UTC)
You really don't need reference 3. If the book says he was discovered eleven years prior to its events, then that doesn't need a special reference. You only need a special reference if you're explicitly mentioning the 33 BBY date, but since it's being pipelinked, it doesn't need one.Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 13:15, July 3, 2018 (UTC)- Very well, removed. Thanks again. Corellian PremierThe Force will be with you always 15:28, July 3, 2018 (UTC)
Why is the fact that Kungurama leading the clone unit Breakout Squad relevant to Kelpura's role in the story? This seems like extraneous detail. "Kungurama, now leading the clone trooper unit Breakout Squad..."- Well, it is useful context for the encounter. Corellian PremierThe Force will be with you always 15:50, July 6, 2018 (UTC)
Why is Palpatine here, and why is Kit Fisto suggesting they go to the Senate Building? None of these details are provided any relevance or significance to the story and Kelpura's role in it. We're left wondering what was the point of their involvement, since they're never mentioned again. "...met Kelpura at the Senate Building with Supreme Chancellor Palpatine and departed for the Jedi Temple on Master Kit Fisto's suggestion."- They don't really have a point, honestly. Just sort of a debriefing. I re-worked that paragraph for context, just hope it doesn't get too play-by-play. Corellian PremierThe Force will be with you always 15:50, July 6, 2018 (UTC)
Kelpura was traveling with the group by freighter? It would have been nice to know this upfront rather than dropping this detail in as an afterthought at the end of the paragraph. "Kungurama's freighter crashed after the dropship belonging to a bounty hunter assisting Ambase impacted it."Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 16:20, July 3, 2018 (UTC)- Reworked it. Corellian PremierThe Force will be with you always 15:50, July 6, 2018 (UTC)
The term "Jedi scholar" redirects to the article "Lore Keeper"; would it be appropriate to pipelink this into the article for this character?Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 18:55, July 23, 2018 (UTC)- Sure, its fair to say he has some official capacity. Corellian PremierThe Force will be with you always 02:59, July 29, 2018 (UTC)
- In that case, I've added the Lore Keepers category as well. It may be a good idea to further divide that category to separate actual Lore Keepers from general scholars like Kelpura, but this will suffice for now. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 03:58, July 29, 2018 (UTC)
- Sure, its fair to say he has some official capacity. Corellian PremierThe Force will be with you always 02:59, July 29, 2018 (UTC)
Comments[]
Approved as a Good article by AgriCorps 18:32, July 29, 2018 (UTC)
- Former CAN Corellian PremierThe Force will be with you always 00:56, May 8, 2018 (UTC)