I feel like the word "refuse," as fancy as it is, is used too frequently during the "History" section. Maybe use synonyms for one or two of them to diversify the language. That's all I can see for now.MasterFred(Whatever) 03:45, May 9, 2017 (UTC)
"His driving desire to cling to life caused Maul to rebuild himself with spider-like legs in place of his severed ones, living in hiding in the caves beneath Lotho Minor's surface and subsisting off trash and vermin for over a decade."
A little confused over why, in trying not to overuse pronouns in this sentence, the proper noun "Maul" is used in place of the second instance of the pronoun not the first. That is, why isn't it "Maul's driving desire to cling to life caused him to rebuild himself..." instead. I think the way it is worded now causes the initial "his" to implicitly mean that it refers to someone other than Maul, even if it's obvious it doesn't. Now personally, given that the subject Maul was just introduced in the previous sentence, I think it's entirely appropriate (even preferable) to just use only pronouns in this sentence, but if you disagree, then I think it should be "Maul's driving desire to cling to life caused him..." instead. In the Legends version, I actually changed "caused" to "pushed" because I somehow think "caused" is too weighty here somehow, like it doesn't capture the meaning precisely, but you don't have to do this if you disagree with it. Sol PacificusFirestorm 01:40, May 15, 2017 (UTC)
"Lotho Minor's role as a galactic dumping ground did not encourage any deep exploration of Junker culture or biology, nor did their violent territoriality."
Do you think it would be better to replace "did not encourage" with "discouraged"? I think the difference is that the former implies that Lotho Minor's role as a galactic dumping ground & the Junker's violent territoriality should encourage deep exploration of their culture, and yet somehow they don't for whatever reason aside. Replacing it with "discouraged" would mean that it is because Lotho Minor is a junkyard and the Junkers are territorial and violent that deep exploration is avoided. Sol PacificusFirestorm 01:40, May 15, 2017 (UTC)
Each Internet Archive backup link contains the date of the capture in YYYYMMDDHHMMSS format. For example, in the link I added to the Amazon template of this article, it's 20160109024505. When you use a template that has the "archivedate" parameter defined, such as the SWE one, and the normal backup link doesn't work as intended, you add that date of the correct capture as a value for the parameter, like this.
How does one know the date of the capture? Well, I usually just preview the template with an "archivedate" value that's less than the date of Encyclopedia's shutdown, i.e., July 2014. For example, 20140600000000. Opening the backup link from the preview redirects to the latest archived capture of the page. You can then copy the correct date of the capture from the backup link's URL to the template. Imperators II(Talk) 12:04, June 13, 2017 (UTC)
The referencing for 20 BBY is alright, but not quite so for 32 BBY. Right now, the ref for 32 BBY explains how Episode I can be dated to 32 BBY. That's not really what's needed - it should be explaining how Maul ending up on Lotho Minor can be dated to 32 BBY. And correct me if I'm wrong, but from what I'm seeing, Lotho Minor's Encyclopedia entry is the only source that actually provides any info on when Maul arrived on Lotho Minor, and it only says he lived there "for over a decade after the Battle of Naboo," which isn't really the same as the precise "in 32 BBY." Imperators II(Talk) 09:24, June 21, 2017 (UTC)
How do you feel about creating a canon version of the dismemberment article to be linked to from "severed"?
Probably a good idea, but it would be just a stub. - AV-6R7Crew Pit 08:52, June 3, 2017 (UTC)
Done. Let the morbidly curious finish out that one. - AV-6R7Crew Pit 23:19, June 6, 2017 (UTC)
Is there any article at all for this "mystical talisman"?
That would be the Talisman of Finding in Legends, but I'm sure there's a more simple name floating around it an episode guide or on a piece of concept art I could use to create a canon page. - AV-6R7Crew Pit 08:52, June 3, 2017 (UTC)
"Long ago, immense refuse incinerator droids were programmed to incinerate Lotho Minor's garbage." This needs to be clarified. When was it considered "long ago"? Seeing as the DB entry is written from a TCW perspective, you could probably do "Long before the Clone Wars"
Considering I already said it was neutral during the Clone Wars, it's strange I didn't already have this added in. - AV-6R7Crew Pit 22:36, August 24, 2017 (UTC)
First paragraph is more or less a direct copypaste from the databank entry. This definitely needs to be reworded.
"The planet made its first direct appearance in The Wrath of Darth Maul, a Star Wars Legends young adult novel written by Ryder Windham and released on January 1, 2012." Something's off here. You probably need to move the Legends bit to before the title of the novel, lest the reader be confused and think that this was the planet's first appearance in canon, especially considering you only use the word "created" to describe its appearance in Brothers.
I'm going to be honest and say that I have absolutely no idea how to use that template. Everything comes out mangled when I adhere to the instructions provided. - AV-6R7Crew Pit 23:07, August 28, 2017 (UTC)
Ultimately chose to mdash it. - AV-6R7Crew Pit 04:20, August 29, 2017 (UTC)
Credit to Cwedin for getting it right. - AV-6R7Crew Pit 04:50, August 29, 2017 (UTC)
Per my objections on your other articles, please see the External links about removing trivial Blog posts, and determine whether the TCW S4 home-video release needs to be listed in the Sources.Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 21:05, August 29, 2017 (UTC)
All of the external links were ultimately inconsequential, but the S4 Blu-ray contains tons of relevant concept art not found in the episode guide for "Brothers". In fact, if someone was able to figure out how to take screenshots of it, I would be using one of them in this article. - AV-6R7Crew Pit 22:58, August 29, 2017 (UTC)
Is there no other source that says Lotho Minor is in the Outer Rim? The "Witches" ref is just a little weak on its own since it's actually relying on information confirmed in subsequent episodes.
I don't see a reason to doubt Talzin's word, but Ultimate Star Wars says "Mother Talzin informs Savage he has an exiled brother in the Outer Rim... Opress goes to the planet Lotho Minor". Should I source this to USW? - AV-6R7Crew Pit 23:21, August 29, 2017 (UTC)
It's not that you can't use that reference, it's just that it would work better as a manual ref note explaining that Episode A says Maul is in the Outer Rim, and Episode B confirms this planet to be Lotho Minor, etc. If we can get one source to state all of this, it's better. So, yeah, I would change it to USW. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 23:41, August 29, 2017 (UTC)
Fixed. I see what you mean. I'll keep that in mind in the future. - AV-6R7Crew Pit 23:49, August 29, 2017 (UTC)
I'm not sure I agree with saying that Lotho Minor had a Type I atmosphere if no source states that explicitly. Technically, the planet could have a Type II atmosphere, according to its definition, just that none of the characters we see in that episode bothered to wear breath masks. And who knows, maybe Maul used the Force to protect himself from prolonged Type II exposure? The fact is, we don't know, so we shouldn't extrapolate either way.Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 23:14, August 29, 2017 (UTC)
Should I still says its breathable to the listed species? - AV-6R7Crew Pit 23:21, August 29, 2017 (UTC)
The information is so basic, I don't think you really need to state anything for that field in the absence of any official classification. I would just leave it blank. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 23:23, August 29, 2017 (UTC)
I meant in the description section. - AV-6R7Crew Pit 23:25, August 29, 2017 (UTC)
Again, I think you can avoid that. I don't think every planet article on Wookieepedia needs to state that "these species could breathe here." The information is effectively being conveyed in the History or Inhabitants sections. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 23:30, August 29, 2017 (UTC)
Where are you getting this from? "Lotho Minor was apparently the homeworld of the Junkers..." The SWE entry being referenced there says nothing of the sort.
It's under the Junker's relationship tab: "The Junkers are apparently the native inhabitants of Lotho Minor". - AV-6R7Crew Pit 00:49, August 30, 2017 (UTC)
I don't understand how you're accessing this information. On the Internet Archive page, the ability to toggle between the different relationship tabs is lost. Only the Darth Maul one is accessible by virtue of being the first. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 01:01, August 30, 2017 (UTC)
You can use ctrl u to view the hidden info in the page's code, or you can let the archived page "cook" for a while and eventually the relationship tabs will be clickable. - AV-6R7Crew Pit 01:11, August 30, 2017 (UTC)
Sure thing. There's a lot of info exclusive to the old Encyclopdia, so get digging! - AV-6R7Crew Pit 01:27, August 30, 2017 (UTC)
The way the P/T is organized is kind of jumbled. You introduce the Anacondans and then talk about the Junkers for almost the entire rest of the paragraph before dropping in one last mention of the Anacondans again. It would be better to split it into two paragraphs, each one dedicated to one of the species.