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Lotho MinorEdit

  • Nominated by: Imperial Information Office AV-6R7Crew Pit 21:56, May 8, 2017 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: A more substantial planet nom than what I usually write.

(1 ACs/1 Users/2 Total)Edit

SupportEdit

  1. Sol PacificusFirestorm 19:56, May 24, 2017 (UTC)
  2. ACvote RAXUS PRIME MUCH? Imperators II(Talk) 18:57, July 3, 2017 (UTC)

ObjectEdit

Fred strikes backEdit
  • I feel like the word "refuse," as fancy as it is, is used too frequently during the "History" section. Maybe use synonyms for one or two of them to diversify the language. That's all I can see for now. MasterFredCommerce Guild(Whatever) 03:45, May 9, 2017 (UTC)
Sol PacificusEdit
  • "His driving desire to cling to life caused Maul to rebuild himself with spider-like legs in place of his severed ones, living in hiding in the caves beneath Lotho Minor's surface and subsisting off trash and vermin for over a decade."
A little confused over why, in trying not to overuse pronouns in this sentence, the proper noun "Maul" is used in place of the second instance of the pronoun not the first. That is, why isn't it "Maul's driving desire to cling to life caused him to rebuild himself..." instead. I think the way it is worded now causes the initial "his" to implicitly mean that it refers to someone other than Maul, even if it's obvious it doesn't. Now personally, given that the subject Maul was just introduced in the previous sentence, I think it's entirely appropriate (even preferable) to just use only pronouns in this sentence, but if you disagree, then I think it should be "Maul's driving desire to cling to life caused him..." instead. In the Legends version, I actually changed "caused" to "pushed" because I somehow think "caused" is too weighty here somehow, like it doesn't capture the meaning precisely, but you don't have to do this if you disagree with it. Sol PacificusFirestorm 01:40, May 15, 2017 (UTC)
  • "Lotho Minor's role as a galactic dumping ground did not encourage any deep exploration of Junker culture or biology, nor did their violent territoriality."
Do you think it would be better to replace "did not encourage" with "discouraged"? I think the difference is that the former implies that Lotho Minor's role as a galactic dumping ground & the Junker's violent territoriality should encourage deep exploration of their culture, and yet somehow they don't for whatever reason aside. Replacing it with "discouraged" would mean that it is because Lotho Minor is a junkyard and the Junkers are territorial and violent that deep exploration is avoided. Sol PacificusFirestorm 01:40, May 15, 2017 (UTC)
Imperators IIEdit
  • The fact that the atmosphere was Type I is infobox-exclusive.
  • Regarding both the infobox and the article's body, you should specify what species the atmosphere was breathable for.
  • The Encyclopedia link backups redirect to the Databank.
    • This has been a common problem with the Encyxlopedia backup links for a while now. I've tried talking to admins about it but haven't got anywhere. - Imperial Information Office AV-6R7Crew Pit 08:52, June 3, 2017 (UTC)
      • For now, we'll have to make do with using the "archivedate" parameter.
        • How do we add that to Template:SWE? - Imperial Information Office AV-6R7Crew Pit 09:41, June 12, 2017 (UTC)
          • Each Internet Archive backup link contains the date of the capture in YYYYMMDDHHMMSS format. For example, in the link I added to the Amazon template of this article, it's 20160109024505. When you use a template that has the "archivedate" parameter defined, such as the SWE one, and the normal backup link doesn't work as intended, you add that date of the correct capture as a value for the parameter, like this.
          How does one know the date of the capture? Well, I usually just preview the template with an "archivedate" value that's less than the date of Encyclopedia's shutdown, i.e., July 2014. For example, 20140600000000. Opening the backup link from the preview redirects to the latest archived capture of the page. You can then copy the correct date of the capture from the backup link's URL to the template. Imperators II(Talk) 12:04, June 13, 2017 (UTC)
  • If Lotho Minor is not mentioned in Galactic Atlas, you should explain in the reference(s) how can the events described in the article be dated to 32 and 20 BBY.
    • Dont have my copy right now, but I'll be sure to make those notations as soon as I'm able. It could be a while though. - Imperial Information Office AV-6R7Crew Pit 23:38, June 6, 2017 (UTC)
      • Finally home; fixed. - Imperial Information Office AV-6R7Crew Pit 08:39, June 21, 2017 (UTC)
        • The referencing for 20 BBY is alright, but not quite so for 32 BBY. Right now, the ref for 32 BBY explains how Episode I can be dated to 32 BBY. That's not really what's needed - it should be explaining how Maul ending up on Lotho Minor can be dated to 32 BBY. And correct me if I'm wrong, but from what I'm seeing, Lotho Minor's Encyclopedia entry is the only source that actually provides any info on when Maul arrived on Lotho Minor, and it only says he lived there "for over a decade after the Battle of Naboo," which isn't really the same as the precise "in 32 BBY." Imperators II(Talk) 09:24, June 21, 2017 (UTC)
  • How do you feel about creating a canon version of the dismemberment article to be linked to from "severed"?
    • Probably a good idea, but it would be just a stub. - Imperial Information Office AV-6R7Crew Pit 08:52, June 3, 2017 (UTC)
      • Done. Let the morbidly curious finish out that one. - Imperial Information Office AV-6R7Crew Pit 23:19, June 6, 2017 (UTC)
  • Is there any article at all for this "mystical talisman"?
  • "He lured Opress into a cave" - any reason why you used "lured" here instead of just "brought"? Did Morley had a hidden agenda?
    • Yes, he lured prey there for Maul. - Imperial Information Office AV-6R7Crew Pit 08:52, June 3, 2017 (UTC)
  • You should add the "Witches of the Mist" allusion (the {{1stm}}) in the BTS.
  • Can you add a backup link to the Amazon template?
    • How would I go about doing that? - Imperial Information Office AV-6R7Crew Pit 23:28, June 6, 2017 (UTC)
      • By pasting the Amazon link here and then putting the archived page link in the template, like this. Sorry, I did it for you this time. :P Imperators II(Talk) 07:22, June 7, 2017 (UTC)
  • Care to create Category:Lotho Minor locations? Imperators II(Talk) 10:52, May 25, 2017 (UTC)

CommentsEdit

  • Sorry objections are taking so long; currently traveling and internet access is spotty. - Imperial Information Office AV-6R7Crew Pit 19:40, June 6, 2017 (UTC)

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