- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.
Contents
Slide Paramita[]
- Nominated by: Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 03:34, October 10, 2013 (UTC)
- Nomination comments: More Podracers!! More than I can handle? Let's find out...
(3 ACs/4 Users/7 Total)[]
Support[]
- Thefourdotelipsis (talk) 04:12, October 25, 2013 (UTC)
- Menkooroo (talk) 01:52, November 21, 2013 (UTC)
- CC7567 (talk) 06:33, January 4, 2014 (UTC)
- Winterz (talk) 01:24, January 13, 2014 (UTC)
- Supreme Emperor (talk) 21:41, January 13, 2014 (UTC)
- Sir Cavalier of One(Squadron channel) 11:28, January 21, 2014 (UTC)
- Sorry for the long review. Support! ~Savage 18:14, January 27, 2014 (UTC)
Object[]
Savaged…[]
Like the other noms, check your linking, spacing, and pipe linking. You have overlinked a bit in this one, too -- pilot is linked twice in the lead, for instance. Remember the rule of thumb is to link something upon first mention in the lead, then start over again once you get to the body, linking stuff fresh.Objection(s) overridden by AgriCorps 02:25, December 20, 2013 (UTC)- How's the linking now?
Not sure how you can do it without rewording a bit, but Ando Prime needs context in the lead -- planet, moon, satellite, etc. More when these are done! ~Savage 17:49, October 14, 2013 (UTC)Objection(s) overridden by AgriCorps 02:25, December 20, 2013 (UTC)- Fixed the Ando Prime context. --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 15:34, October 15, 2013 (UTC)
- "many of the vehicle's shortcomings could be excused by an impressive handling system" -- Do you mean "many of the vehicle's shortcomings were countered by an impressive handling system"? As it is now, it sounds like the handling system is excusing things, which I don't think you mean.
- Yah, I think I see your point. How does the fix look? --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 03:35, December 28, 2013 (UTC)
I don't buy that Sompeetalay named his species. That's not his MO at all… What did he say about the origin of the name? Have you tried messaging him to find out where the name came from? ~Savage 13:53, December 20, 2013 (UTC)- Huh, didn't mean to word it as if he actually named it, but rather that's where the name first appeared to the public. I asked him about the origins a while ago, and it sounded like it was just stuff from the original script, that was of course cut. The same with Fud Sang's species, minus the fact that "Sanhueli" hasn't appeared anywhere else yet, unlike Ciasi, in a canon source that's not a trashed script. I'll ask him again, though, and see if he found anything else out. He said something about talking to Chee, and soon after we got that Twitter post about Fud Sang being in The Phantom Menace as a statue, so who knows.--Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 03:35, December 28, 2013 (UTC)
You may think about trying some of the published TMP scripts; I'm not sure if they include cut content or not, but it's worth a shot. The Phantom Menace Insider's Guide might be another place to look. I've got a copy back home that I'll have access to after the New Year if you don't get an answer to this before then. ~Savage 15:47, December 29, 2013 (UTC)- I'll try looking up those scripts then, and see if they turn anything up. The insider's guide sounds like an option too, so if ou get the chance with that, that would be awesome. Also, I hear Navior is in the IG, so maybe if you can look up that too please? :) --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 00:33, January 4, 2014 (UTC)
Anything yet? ~Savage 18:58, January 16, 2014 (UTC)- I think it should come in today, so hopefully by the end of this week, hopefully before the weekend. --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 20:19, January 16, 2014 (UTC)
- Okay, got it running on an older computer, but hell, it's might be a bit. There is a ton to dig through, and so far the Podracing related stuff hasn't turned up anything much (yet). Not even the Mars Guo or Ody Mandrell concept art from the old databank. So, a heads up for Slide and Fud, it's a lot to dig through. --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 23:49, January 19, 2014 (UTC)
- I think it should come in today, so hopefully by the end of this week, hopefully before the weekend. --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 20:19, January 16, 2014 (UTC)
- I'll try looking up those scripts then, and see if they turn anything up. The insider's guide sounds like an option too, so if ou get the chance with that, that would be awesome. Also, I hear Navior is in the IG, so maybe if you can look up that too please? :) --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 00:33, January 4, 2014 (UTC)
- Huh, didn't mean to word it as if he actually named it, but rather that's where the name first appeared to the public. I asked him about the origins a while ago, and it sounded like it was just stuff from the original script, that was of course cut. The same with Fud Sang's species, minus the fact that "Sanhueli" hasn't appeared anywhere else yet, unlike Ciasi, in a canon source that's not a trashed script. I'll ask him again, though, and see if he found anything else out. He said something about talking to Chee, and soon after we got that Twitter post about Fud Sang being in The Phantom Menace as a statue, so who knows.--Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 03:35, December 28, 2013 (UTC)
Ravaged[]
This will be really helpful to you: A couple of years ago we figured out that Podracing, Podrace, Podracer, etc, should always be capitalized. Have fun!- And to think I've gone around de-captitalizing other Podracing articles. Ha! Will be fun indeed.
Can you re-upload that image without the green border? The border makes it look like an out-of-universe image, but the article is presenting it as an in-universe one.- Mm, I think I'll object to this for the following: This image is from the race standings screen that appears at the end of a race in Episode I Racer. As such, the image sort of acts like an in-universe Leader-board headshot, not unlike today's Sports standings that also sometimes come out with headshots of the players next to their names when listed. The green border is a part of the headshot then. So, in a way, it can be perceived as an in-universe border. Rather, that's how I see it. Now, what I could do is sub-title as so, like "Leader-board headshot for Slide Paramita" or something of the like. If not, I can remove the border, but I don't think it has too per the stated reasoning. Thoughts?
- My mistake, then. Seems like it's a valid IU image; no need to change the caption.
- Well, looks like you got you wish anyways :P --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 01:01, November 30, 2013 (UTC)
- My mistake, then. Seems like it's a valid IU image; no need to change the caption.
- Mm, I think I'll object to this for the following: This image is from the race standings screen that appears at the end of a race in Episode I Racer. As such, the image sort of acts like an in-universe Leader-board headshot, not unlike today's Sports standings that also sometimes come out with headshots of the players next to their names when listed. The green border is a part of the headshot then. So, in a way, it can be perceived as an in-universe border. Rather, that's how I see it. Now, what I could do is sub-title as so, like "Leader-board headshot for Slide Paramita" or something of the like. If not, I can remove the border, but I don't think it has too per the stated reasoning. Thoughts?
Be careful not to link to disambiguation pages like racing.- Alright then.
Mentioning his tail, tusks, trunk, and ears isn't necessary or really appropriate for the P&T --- those kinds of details should be left for the article on his species. Just as articles on Twi'leks don't need to say that they have lekku, or articles on Rodians saying that they have snouts, etc.- If you insist, though I understand the reasoning.
I wonder if the stuff in the biography about him losing his temper and taking it out on other pilots would be more at home in the P&T. I know that the P&T already mentions it, but not in as much detail. Alternatively, if you reworded it to make it more biographical (like, "he became known for" or "he developed a reputation for" or something), that would be a good fix too.- Hm, how does it look now?
Similarly, I wonder if all the details about how his Stinger works would be better off in an "Equipment" section instead of the bio. Whaddya think? They currently don't seem all that biographical.- Makes sense. I kept some of the more, mm, "potent" vehicle info in the biography, however. Namely, the information regarding the boosting and cooling, as it seemed reasonable as context to his Ando Prime success.
- Can you give more specific sourcing for the new equipment section? Sticking multiple refs at the end of a paragraph should be avoided, as it really gives the reader no idea where to find what info. If any of the info is found in more than one of those sources, you only need to cite one of them; can you change the paragraph so that info throughout is cited to only one source at a time? Menkooroo (talk) 09:31, November 20, 2013 (UTC)
- Sorry. Sourced them now to their proper context.
- Can you give more specific sourcing for the new equipment section? Sticking multiple refs at the end of a paragraph should be avoided, as it really gives the reader no idea where to find what info. If any of the info is found in more than one of those sources, you only need to cite one of them; can you change the paragraph so that info throughout is cited to only one source at a time? Menkooroo (talk) 09:31, November 20, 2013 (UTC)
- Makes sense. I kept some of the more, mm, "potent" vehicle info in the biography, however. Namely, the information regarding the boosting and cooling, as it seemed reasonable as context to his Ando Prime success.
Noting his skill on the ice courses in the P&T wouldn't be amiss.- ok
"However, certain elements of the blog entry were not considered canon." None of the elements of that blog entry were considered canon --- it was a fan blog written by a fan. Sure, Sompeetalay is a SW author, but his Source Blog was never official. It was just fan commentary.Menkooroo (talk) 01:36, November 19, 2013 (UTC)- I think I meant to word it as "SOme of it eventually became Canon", but I see what you mean. In truth, I believe he said that it was all based on actual scripts, but he couldn't remember and was possibly gonna dig it up again. Either way, as I've learned before, even if it was in an old script, it was an old script that was defunct, and as such the information wouldn't be viable anyways. At least Ciasi came back. --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 02:36, November 19, 2013 (UTC)
- I'm still not comfortable with how the BTS seems to present Sompeetalay's Source Blog as a canon source until the very end. Can you make it clear from the beginning that it's a fan blog and that he's just kind of musing/guessing? Menkooroo (talk) 09:31, November 20, 2013 (UTC)
- How does that read now? --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 16:23, November 20, 2013 (UTC)
- I'm still not comfortable with how the BTS seems to present Sompeetalay's Source Blog as a canon source until the very end. Can you make it clear from the beginning that it's a fan blog and that he's just kind of musing/guessing? Menkooroo (talk) 09:31, November 20, 2013 (UTC)
- I think I meant to word it as "SOme of it eventually became Canon", but I see what you mean. In truth, I believe he said that it was all based on actual scripts, but he couldn't remember and was possibly gonna dig it up again. Either way, as I've learned before, even if it was in an old script, it was an old script that was defunct, and as such the information wouldn't be viable anyways. At least Ciasi came back. --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 02:36, November 19, 2013 (UTC)
Attack of the Clone[]
"Slide Paramita taunting": whom is he taunting, specifically?- In the game, if you select the "Start Race" option with Spacebar/Z Button (N64) it triggers a scene where your selected racer will taunt the track favorite for whatever course you're racing on. Fixed it a bit, now.
Are "Podracer" (both the profession as well as the vehicle) and "Podracing" usually capitalized? From my limited exposure to TPM stuff, I remember them being decapitalized, so please check the relevant source material (and adjust if necessary). Also, it needs to be capitalized/decapitalized consistently across the article, whichever way is correct.- From recent sources including the Star Wars Encyclopedia and the CSWE, Podracer, Podracing, Podrace, and Pod are all capitalized. Actually, I'm not certain on the last one, but I was told that. I don't think I use it in this article, but I'm gonna check that again. And those pesky Ps!
"Valuing maneuverability, the Stinger": this is a dangling modifier. The first dependent clause incorrectly uses "the Stinger" as its subject instead of Paramita, i.e. the way that the sentence currently reads, the Stinger itself "values maneuverability" and not Paramita. Please correct.- The subject was meant to be the vehicle, characterizing as it were. Reworded it anyways.
- The problem still remains—as it currently reads, the Stinger is still the subject of the dangling clause instead of Paramita himself. It needs to be reworded to something along the lines of, "Paramita valued maneuverability, and the Stinger allowed him to make turns…" or "The Stinger, which was reputed/known/valued for its maneuverability, allowed Paramita to make turns…." Feel free to further reword it, but as it currently is, the sentence needs a bit more work. Does that make sense? CC7567 (talk) 07:01, December 28, 2013 (UTC)
- How is that then?
- The problem still remains—as it currently reads, the Stinger is still the subject of the dangling clause instead of Paramita himself. It needs to be reworded to something along the lines of, "Paramita valued maneuverability, and the Stinger allowed him to make turns…" or "The Stinger, which was reputed/known/valued for its maneuverability, allowed Paramita to make turns…." Feel free to further reword it, but as it currently is, the sentence needs a bit more work. Does that make sense? CC7567 (talk) 07:01, December 28, 2013 (UTC)
- The subject was meant to be the vehicle, characterizing as it were. Reworded it anyways.
"that appeared on the Ando Prime courses" mentions Ando Prime for the first time without linking it/providing context on it. This should be modified to incorporate linking/context or removed.- Ah, I see. Alright, how is that now?
In the P&T quote caption, context is needed for Fode Annodue, since that's the only place in the article that mentions him.CC7567 (talk) 19:25, December 26, 2013 (UTC)- How is that then? --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 03:55, December 28, 2013 (UTC)
Would it be possible to somewhat condense the first paragraph of the Bio? A lot of the information is repetitive, since the majority of it is repeated in the P&T. The Bio should focus more on Paramita's specific biographical events as well as his career, while the P&T should generally be more focused on his personality. (The P&T is fine as it is right now, but that first Bio paragraph is what concerns me.) Take some time to compare the Bio paragraph with the P&T, and read both sections aloud to yourself. If you hear yourself saying a lot of the same stuff, see if you can move some of the Bio information to the P&T. That's not to say that there generally can't be overlap and repetition between the Bio and the P&T (because there always will be), but I think in this case the Bio is bordering on becoming the P&T itself. Please see what you can do and let me know if you need any help.CC7567 (talk) 07:01, December 28, 2013 (UTC)- I cut it up a bit earlier, but I dunno. I'm not sure if I can condense i further. The part about his "anger management" seems relevant to both the bio and P&T. --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 00:08, January 4, 2014 (UTC)
SE[]
Just wondering, is the bts note about Paramita's meaning necessary? If there's no confirmed connection between the meaning and the character, it's really trivia.Supreme Emperor (talk) 17:39, January 4, 2014 (UTC)- I admit, it is a bit OR/Trivia, though I left it in and sourced it as it was there before I had worked on the article. It does draw a parallel, the whole perfection thing plus Slide's elitism. One of those things, where as obvious as it may be, it may never get a reliable source that says "Yes, this is where his name come from" or "No, it's just a coincidence that it's the same word that happens to explain some of the character's personality". It could be mentioned in the Insider's Guide for TPM, if he's in there. Or the Art of TPM book. Neither of those pages link to Paramita (Whereas they both link to Navior, another cut TPM Podracer), but it could be a shot if someone happens to have the book(s) on hand. --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 01:51, January 6, 2014 (UTC)
Comments[]
Approved as a Good article by AgriCorps 02:20, February 5, 2014 (UTC)
Actually, I should point out that his homeworld of Tund may be a bit ambiguous. That information comes from the old TPM scripts, and Tund was later given to Quadinaros. As such, Paramita may not be from Tund, as that was only an old script, and it may not apply anymore. Same goes for Toy Dampner, from New Cov.--Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 14:49, October 10, 2013 (UTC)- Just a note: I still have an open objection to this nomination. It should be sorted out soon, but it seems to have been overlooked with the ACapproved note above. :) ~Savage 12:48, January 21, 2014 (UTC)
- In which case, how long can we wait on this? Perhaps I should find a way to reword it (Or simply remove what's in question) until we can sort the mess out? A simple reword could change the meaning. We do know Paramita was intended for the film (And Sang as well, though he was in the movie, technically), so and if Tim didn't make it up, Ciasi had to come from somewhere. If it's not in the Insider's Guide, it had to be from a script or something. I don't know if that can be reworded though to fit. --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 15:31, January 21, 2014 (UTC)
- What about something like this: The species name came from early draft material for TPM (cite Tim's conversation with you on your talk page -- he IS a Star Wars VIP, after all). Tim added the information to his blog (cite his blog). The name became canon with the publication of the Encyclopedia (cite the encyclopedia). Would that work? ~Savage 17:10, January 21, 2014 (UTC)
- He doesn't seem to admit it's from Early TPM material, however. He just suggests that it's possible. He even suggests the CUSWE at one point. As much as I don't like the idea myself, maybe we should leave the blog out entirely, and just say that Paramita's species was first canonically cited in the CSWE, without trying to say it created the name, though. Granted, any wording like that could be confusing too (Also the only discussion is on his Talk Page). However, it is likely it was draft info, but I don't know if we can properly say so. --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 17:57, January 21, 2014 (UTC)
- Hmm. Why don't we say something like, "The character's species name was revealed officially in The Complete Star Wars Encyclopedia in 2008. However, the name had already appeared in the Star Wars blog of Tim Veekhoven, who may have taken it from Phantom Menace concept material." With citations, of course. ~Savage 19:24, January 24, 2014 (UTC)
- That basically sounds like what's already written, but with the timeline flipped. I reworded it slightly now, so let me know what you think. --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 03:56, January 26, 2014 (UTC)
- Hmm. Why don't we say something like, "The character's species name was revealed officially in The Complete Star Wars Encyclopedia in 2008. However, the name had already appeared in the Star Wars blog of Tim Veekhoven, who may have taken it from Phantom Menace concept material." With citations, of course. ~Savage 19:24, January 24, 2014 (UTC)
- He doesn't seem to admit it's from Early TPM material, however. He just suggests that it's possible. He even suggests the CUSWE at one point. As much as I don't like the idea myself, maybe we should leave the blog out entirely, and just say that Paramita's species was first canonically cited in the CSWE, without trying to say it created the name, though. Granted, any wording like that could be confusing too (Also the only discussion is on his Talk Page). However, it is likely it was draft info, but I don't know if we can properly say so. --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 17:57, January 21, 2014 (UTC)
- What about something like this: The species name came from early draft material for TPM (cite Tim's conversation with you on your talk page -- he IS a Star Wars VIP, after all). Tim added the information to his blog (cite his blog). The name became canon with the publication of the Encyclopedia (cite the encyclopedia). Would that work? ~Savage 17:10, January 21, 2014 (UTC)
Vote to strike SavageBob's objections (AC only)[]
- Addressed for a couple months. IFYLOFD (Enter the Floydome) 05:03, December 18, 2013 (UTC)
- Quite a few months indeed. Winterz (talk) 00:21, December 20, 2013 (UTC)
- JangFett (Talk) 02:25, December 20, 2013 (UTC)
- Sorry, folks. No one reminded me on my talk page, which is odd. I would have stricken myself had I been notified. :) ~Savage 13:46, December 20, 2013 (UTC)