- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.
Contents
The Clone Wars: Procedure[]
- Nominated by:Kilson Likes PIE 04:07, 16 May 09 (UTC)
- Nomination comments:For once, I don't have a stupid joke to make. It's a six-page web comic, what can I say? :P
(3 ACs/3 Users/6 Total)[]
Support
- JangFett Talk 11:04, 4 June 2009 (UTC)
- —Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 05:15, 20 June 2009 (UTC)
- CC7567 (talk) 05:57, 21 June 2009 (UTC)
- --Eyrezer 00:41, 22 June 2009 (UTC)
- Sure. Two pics, an intro quote, good plot summary, behind the scenes. It'll do. Enochf 01:07, 22 June 2009 (UTC)
- Cavalier One(Squadron channel) 13:47, 23 June 2009 (UTC)
Object
NaruHina; Devil's AdvocateI'm sorry, but this article needs a lot more info. It needs a Conception section and a Production section (Or at least a Development section to cover these.).- I changed the Bts to a Development section.
It needs more info relevant to a development section. That info is fine as a Bts but it has nothing to do with the conception of the comic, so it doesn't qualify currently as a "development section." Just something more about the purpose of it (why they're doing these parallels) and maybe even the creators' discussions about it would suffice this. NaruHina Talk 02:30, 20 May 2009 (UTC)- I believe mentioning who created the comic is relevant in the development section. Also, since the comic is so small, there really isn't much information on the Procedure out there. I did put in how it was paralleling the show, but other than that, there really isn't much I can put in there. Kilson Likes PIE 17:44, 23 May 09 (UTC)
- I changed the Bts to a Development section.
It should have some kind of Reaction section, for response by critics, but I'm a little flexible on this one as it is a six page web-comic.- Well, I can't really find any real reactions other than a few fan reactions on some small websites. I don't think a reception section is possible.
It needs to be sourced (i.e. the Infobox and Bts). (And no, not all that info is sourcable to the comic itself)- Added
Nowhere in the article does it say that it is part of a series of comics paralleling the show.The plot section should be much more detailed. For example, there is no mention of the planet Bormus.Context on Anakin Skywalker.- Context added
"Anakin Skywalker speaks to Supreme Chancellor Palpatine and Senator Ask Aak via hologram, asking them whether or not he can use the new Y-wings starfighters against the Confederacy's new weapon." What weapon?Context on Twilight.- Added
Context on Bormus Testing Facility.- I already gave some, but I added a little more
"However, after Skywalker and Tano bring up telling the Supreme Chancellor about how the Gran delayed their efforts, the worker allows Skywalker to take the fighters." A bit confusing. Reword.- Reworded
Oh, I forgot. It needs a Main Characters section. In this case, its likely all of the characters in the story with names and the Gran, who should probably have his own article.- Added
- Good luck. NaruHina Talk 05:42, 16 May 2009 (UTC)
- Objection(s) overridden by AgriCorps 03:25, 3 June 2009 (UTC)
Lucius malfoy7My preliminaries.Development needs a lot more work. Any Bts/interesting stuff you can find needs to be included.- I put some extra stuff in there, but as I said to Naru above, there really isn't that much information out there.
Please expand/reword in the sections that Naru has explained, and these:When they reach the facility, Anakin speaks to a Gran working at the facility while Matchstick and Broadside, members of Shadow Squadron, secure the fighters. R2-D2 gives the worker falsified documents stating that Skywalker can take the new starfighters, but the Gran refuses to give the Jedi the Y-wings because it violates procedure. Run-on.- Fixed
Overall plot expansion.- Expanded
- I'll review more once these are addressed. —Lucius malfoy7 Love 02:29, 19 May 2009 (UTC)
- Objection(s) overridden by AgriCorps 22:46, 5 June 2009 (UTC)
- Fett's 2 cents
"Skyalker" Misspelled Skywalker"Skyalker, his personal astromech droid R2-D2, Tano, and Shadow Squadron take off in the Twilight, Skywalker's personal G9 Rigger freighter." Needs rewriting, possibly begin with Skywalker took Shadow Squadron along with..."When they reach the facility" Whose they?- Added
"At first, the clone troopers guarding the starfighters don't allow the pilots near the ships." Why?- Added
"However, since Broadside and Matchstick have a Jedi with them that outrank the guards, they are allowed to secure the Y-wings." You introduced 2 unknown characters and you didn't introduce them previously. Possibly add they belong to Shadow Squadron.- Ummm... look at the first sentance in the second paragraph, "Anakin speaks to a Gran working at the facility while Matchstick and Broadside, pilots from Shadow Squadron, secure fighters." Kilson Likes PIE 17:52, 23 May 09 (UTC)
"The Gran worker, however, allows Skywalker to take the fighters after the Skywalker and Tano threaten to tell the Supreme Chancellor about how the Gran delayed their efforts." Needs a rewrite.- Added
- Overall this article has potential and with more expanded context Ill give you my vote :) Ill update if I see more that needs to be fixed.
- Yeah, I probably nominated the article prematurely, thanks for the review dude. :) Kilson Likes PIE 20:54, 24 May 09 (UTC)
- JangFett Talk 23:53, 21 May 2009 (UTC)
The development section would be an appropriate place to make some mention of Pablo's intentions as to the Gran in the comic. --Eyrezer 04:25, 6 June 2009 (UTC)- Addressed, thanks for the review. Sorry I didn't get to your objection sooner, I didn't actually notice it. With all the objections I've had with this nom, it just kind of mixed together with the others. Kilson Likes PIE 04:04, 17 June 09 (UTC)
- Here we go:
Leading quote? I'm sure an appropriate one can be found.In the intro, it needs to be made clearer that it was part of TCW web comic series, not just a "web comic". I'm intending for you to also get out the choppiness of the first two sentences by merging/rewording them."Drawn" needs to be varied in word choice.It wasn't specified that Matchstick and Broadside were able to access the Y-wings at the facility because they had a Jedi; that was just dialogue. It was heavily implied, yes, but not clarified. That sentence needs to be reworded to avoid speculation."stating that Skywalker can take the fighters" needs to be worded less colloquially.All the people mentioned in the Bts need to be given context in terms of the television series.CC7567 (talk) 23:42, 9 June 2009 (UTC)
- From the Council Chambers:
The second sentence in the intro needs rewording. Currently it says that "The comic was":"written by Pablo Hidalgo," (OK)"cover art drawn by Steven D. Anderson," (Not OK)"illustrated and lettered by Grant Gould." (OK)
When you list items in this way, each item should be able to stand by itself with the beginning part of the sentence as a complete sentence. Items 1 and 3 are OK in this regard, but "The comic was cover art drawn by Steven D. Anderson." makes no sense. Please reword.- For some reason, I found that objection hilarious. You need to word your objections like that more often, it's addressed.
I know you changed this at NaruHina's request above, but you need to either split the "Development" section into "Development" and "Behind the scenes" or simply rename it to "Behind the scenes"—GAN rule 15 above explicitly states that articles "must…include a "Behind the scenes" section", and I won't be satisfied until there is a section titled "Behind the scenes", simply because it is required.- I changed it up a little. How about now dude?
- Otherwise, good job. —Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 04:29, 19 June 2009 (UTC)
- Thanks for the review. Kilson Likes PIE 05:06, 20 June 09 (UTC)
- No problem. —Master Jonathan(Jedi Council Chambers) 05:15, 20 June 2009 (UTC)
- Thanks for the review. Kilson Likes PIE 05:06, 20 June 09 (UTC)
- Naru's back
- As I was saying, this is just about ready. It still needs a Main Characters section and what you did before is not one. Look at kotor and totj for how to do one. Since this is just a 6 page comic, this should be quick. Just detail their backstory slightly and say their part in the events. NaruHina Talk 23:50, 21 June 2009 (UTC)
Comments
Approved as a Good article by AgriCorps 13:47, 23 June 2009 (UTC)
Vote to strike NaruHina's objections (AC only)[]
- He won't be here for a while, and for now, they appear to be covered. Anything remaining can be addressed by others. CC7567 (talk) 03:16, 3 June 2009 (UTC)
- Toprawa and Ralltiir 03:17, 3 June 2009 (UTC)
- Grunny (Talk) 03:25, 3 June 2009 (UTC)