- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.
Contents
Treve[]
- Nominated by: Talrrivanian (Headquarters) 11:32, August 2, 2011 (UTC)
- Nomination comments: Second time around, please rip it open.
(3 ACs/2 Users/5 Total)[]
Support[]
- JangFett (Talk) 17:02, August 9, 2011 (UTC)
- Good work handling all of the objections.--Exiled Jedi (Greetings) 19:17, August 9, 2011 (UTC)
- CC7567 (talk) 21:08, August 14, 2011 (UTC)
- Kilson(Let's have a chat) 01:58, August 16, 2011 (UTC)
- --Eyrezer 04:39, August 20, 2011 (UTC)
Object[]
Exiled Jedi[]
Please expand the introduction slightly.- Not sure if this is enough, please check it out and tell me if more is needed.--Talrrivanian (Headquarters) 07:31, August 3, 2011 (UTC)
- Done
Mention what killed him in the biography.- Done
You need to say that he was a lieutenant in the biography.- Done
Another quote would be nice, if there are any available.- Not sure if there is one, will look into it. Expect a delay.--Talrrivanian (Headquarters) 07:34, August 3, 2011 (UTC)
- No problem.--Exiled Jedi (Greetings) 12:24, August 3, 2011 (UTC)
- Nope, no other quote available that I can see. Sorry
- Could you possibly get something by Obi-Wan talking about how he was a good soldier and that he would miss him? I just thought this might be possible because of what the article says in the personality and traits section.--Exiled Jedi (Greetings) 12:35, August 4, 2011 (UTC)
- Actually, I just discovered that that isn't from the book, will erase.
- Could you possibly get something by Obi-Wan talking about how he was a good soldier and that he would miss him? I just thought this might be possible because of what the article says in the personality and traits section.--Exiled Jedi (Greetings) 12:35, August 4, 2011 (UTC)
- Nope, no other quote available that I can see. Sorry
- No problem.--Exiled Jedi (Greetings) 12:24, August 3, 2011 (UTC)
- Perhaps more later.--Exiled Jedi (Greetings) 20:31, August 2, 2011 (UTC)
"Treve was killed while defending the General, shot with many blaster wounds." "Shot by many blaster wounds" doesn't sound right, please reword.- DOne
You can't source all of the first sentence of the biography to the databank.--Exiled Jedi (Greetings) 12:35, August 4, 2011 (UTC)- Should be done, could you suggest another source for that if not?
djgdpogjdpojg[pds[]
Reload your infobox- Could you please explain what that means again?--Talrrivanian (Headquarters) 07:48, August 3, 2011 (UTC)
First of all, the Clone Wars "Battle of Kothlis" is not its official name, but rather it's conjecture. You cannot say Battle of Kothlis as is in the intro or elsewhere. Instead you could pipelink the battle, i.e, [[Battle of Kothlis (Clone Wars)|a battle]]"Lieutenant Treve was a male clone trooper, one of the many Human clones of the Mandalorian bounty hunter Jango Fett that were bred and trained on the planet of Kamino to be the perfect soldier for the Grand Army of the Republic." There are a few issues with this sentence. Please mind your linking; the link to Lieutenant could be linked to clone trooper lieutenant instead since. That, or better yet, you could say "Treve, a clone trooper lieutenant." See what you can do with that. Secondly, saying "to be the perfect soldier" is speculative if it's not confirmed. I haven't read this novel in a while, though I do have access to it, but if the novel or any source doesn't say that line or suggesting that Treve had to be perfect for the GAR, please remove it.- Done
The Battle of Kothlis is stated to be in 21 BBY, assuming you have read the entire novel, so saying around that year or sourcing it to only the SW Annual 2011 is incorrect.- Should be done, I also sourced it to the book.
- Your sourcing is correct in the bio, though the date issue still remains. Be sure to check the infobox, bio, and the intro could use the date as well. Check your sourcing in the infobox too JangFett (Talk) 17:30, August 3, 2011 (UTC)
- Done
- Infobox still remains, and the intro could use a date.
- What do you mean by the Infobox still remains? Explain in more detail.--Talrrivanian (Headquarters) 10:11, August 6, 2011 (UTC)
- Infobox still remains, and the intro could use a date.
- Done
- Your sourcing is correct in the bio, though the date issue still remains. Be sure to check the infobox, bio, and the intro could use the date as well. Check your sourcing in the infobox too JangFett (Talk) 17:30, August 3, 2011 (UTC)
- Should be done, I also sourced it to the book.
Context on Kothlis- What do you mean by this?
- I already took care of this. What I meant was explain what certain subjects mean. I.e, instead of saying "Kamino," you should say "planet Kamino."
- What do you mean by this?
"There, while reporting to Kenobi about the losses they had suffered" What losses?"Kenobi was eventually saved by Padawan learner Ahsoka Tano." You mentioned this Ahsoka out of no where, and, as it stands, makes no sense. Not only that, the previous sentence "Treve was killed in the process." is waay too choppy and the flow of these sentences needs to be rewritten and merged."Tano did this by flying inside the building on a droids flying STAP machine and blasting the remotes to pieces." What does this have anything to do with Treve? If you want to say what Ahsoka did to save Obi-Wan, you already did that, but in an awkward way. Please see what you can do.- Done
"Treve was a loyal, yet cautious soldier, who had earned the trust of the equally cautious enobi during the numerous dangers they faced together" Where were these "numerous dangers" these two faced together? If the novel, and I could also check, doesn't specifically say, please reword this sentence, because it currently needs an example from the text.- I realize most are these are SoFixIts; however, doing these yourself will help you greatly in the future. I'll check it again once these are taken care of. JangFett (Talk) 06:16, August 3, 2011 (UTC)
"Treve was killed during the process with many blaster wounds." In the bio, you said that Kenobi was only attacked, yet in this sentence in the intro, you said "Treve was killed in the process," which tells me he was attacked as well. Which is correct?- Fixed
"Later Kenobi told Padawan Tano about how good a soldier Treve was, and how he regretted losing him." Who is this Ahsoka again? To clarify, it needs better context. Also, this sentence doesn't seem to fit within the intro. It could, however, go into the P&T.- Done
- Thanks for the review Jang.--Talrrivanian (Headquarters) 19:13, August 9, 2011 (UTC)
Attack of the Clone[]
If there's enough info (as there seems to be), I would suggest making an article for the mosquito droids (or whatever they're called) and linking to it in the article.CC7567 (talk) 19:01, August 10, 2011 (UTC)- Actually the term "mosquito" is the clone trooper slang term for a Remote.--Talrrivanian (Headquarters) 18:44, August 11, 2011 (UTC)
- Okay, I see. Still, can the remote droids get an article? They're a unique model, and it's definitely relevant to Treve. CC7567 (talk) 18:51, August 11, 2011 (UTC)
- Maybe after I'm done with Treve I'll get around to it.--Talrrivanian (Headquarters) 07:07, August 12, 2011 (UTC)
- No, please link it now. As that will result in a redlink in the intro, you have to create the article as well, as per the GAN rules. 1358 (Talk) 20:25, August 12, 2011 (UTC)
- Agreed. It's not that hard to create a stub article. It'll take you five minutes. Kilson(Let's have a chat) 13:52, August 13, 2011 (UTC)
- Done
- Agreed. It's not that hard to create a stub article. It'll take you five minutes. Kilson(Let's have a chat) 13:52, August 13, 2011 (UTC)
- No, please link it now. As that will result in a redlink in the intro, you have to create the article as well, as per the GAN rules. 1358 (Talk) 20:25, August 12, 2011 (UTC)
- Maybe after I'm done with Treve I'll get around to it.--Talrrivanian (Headquarters) 07:07, August 12, 2011 (UTC)
- Okay, I see. Still, can the remote droids get an article? They're a unique model, and it's definitely relevant to Treve. CC7567 (talk) 18:51, August 11, 2011 (UTC)
- Actually the term "mosquito" is the clone trooper slang term for a Remote.--Talrrivanian (Headquarters) 18:44, August 11, 2011 (UTC)
Kilson[]
You have a bit of Infobox-exclusive info about the clone's height. You could add that to the P&t.Kilson(Let's have a chat) 03:26, August 12, 2011 (UTC)- Done, thanks Kilson!--Talrrivanian (Headquarters) 07:11, August 12, 2011 (UTC)
Comments[]
Approved as a Good article by AgriCorps 08:26, August 20, 2011 (UTC)
- As Jang is pointing many (if not all) of these, I will not raise an official objection, but: when renominating, please do try fix all objections raised in previous, failed nomination. As far as I can see, this wasn't done. –Tm_T (Talk) 07:33, August 3, 2011 (UTC)