Contents 1 Reduxed articles 1.1 Battle of Borleias (Yuuzhan Vong War) 1.1.1 (+0) 1.2 Warb Null 1.2.1 (+0) 1.3 Mara Jade Skywalker 1.3.1 (+0) 1.4 Jace Dallin 1.4.1 (+0) 1.5 Sagoro Autem 1.5.1 (+0) 1.6 Squib 1.6.1 (+1) 1.7 Daric LaRone 1.7.1 (+0) 1.8 Burl Ives 1.8.1 (+1) 1.9 Gilad Pellaeon 1.9.1 (+0)

Reduxed articlesEdit

Battle of Borleias (Yuuzhan Vong War)Edit

• Redux comments: Sent to Redux per Meeting 40. Major rewrite; full review required.
• Date added: February 12, 2011

(+0)Edit

Support

Object

1. Some starters
   • The article is quite long, so I actually think it could use some intro expansion.
     • Done. Atarumaster88 ^{(Talk page)} 03:59, February 22, 2011 (UTC)
   • It could use a link check too; from what I've seen it looks pretty sparse at the moment.
     • Went through and added a bunch. Atarumaster88 ^{(Talk page)} 03:59, February 22, 2011 (UTC)
   • I would place the navigation template below the external links—while the LG says succession boxes should be above the notes and references (thus above the external links), it doesn't say anything about navigation templates as far as I see. What do you think?
     • Yes, it looks better this way. Atarumaster88 ^{(Talk page)} 03:59, February 22, 2011 (UTC)
   • Will give it a thorough review after these have been fixed. 1358 ^(Talk) 17:33, February 14, 2011 (UTC)
2. Article requires confirmation for its name. The NEC does call it the "Battle of Borleias," but the article needs to somehow reflect that. CC7567 ^(talk) 23:25, February 19, 2011 (UTC)
   • There's no official source for calling it "Second Battle of Borleias (Yuuzhan Vong War)" or even Second Battle of Borleias. Wookieepedia came up with that title to distinguish it from the first and second battles of Borleias in the GCW and the first battle for Borleias in the YVW. I'm not sure what you want here . . . we can move it to Battle of Borleias since it's canonically called that, but that'll mean fixing a whole bunch of disambiguation pages and redirects. If that's what you're looking for, let me know. Atarumaster88 ^{(Talk page)} 03:59, February 22, 2011 (UTC)
     • Why don't you just move it to Battle of Borleias (Yuuzhan Vong War), which reflects the actual canonical title? Toprawa and Ralltiir 04:30, February 22, 2011 (UTC)
       • Moved. The only page that linked to the original Battle of Borleias (Yuuzhan Vong War) redirect was this page. Atarumaster88 ^{(Talk page)} 03:10, February 26, 2011 (UTC)
         • The article has been moved, but so far that's all there's been to satisfy the objection—the naming throughout the article needs to be fixed too. CC7567 ^(talk) 07:37, May 9, 2011 (UTC)
           • Agreed and fixed. I didn't see this for awhile, sorry about the delay in addressing it. Atarumaster88 ^{(Talk page)} 18:10, June 20, 2011 (UTC)

1. Grunny:
   • Intro: "and additionally requisitioned additional military forces", I'd like to see additionally or additional changed given their close proximity.
   • New Republic capture of Borleias: "which had been used as a staging point for the assault on Coruscant by the Yuuzhan Vong and been granted to Domain Kraal." Since this is explained only two paragraphs above, does this need to be mentioned again?
   • New Republic capture of Borleias: "Having been driven from the galactic capital of Coruscant, elements of the New Republic's Fleet Group Three, without orders, attacked Borleias", "Knowing that refugees from Coruscant would head to Borleias, and wanting to take revenge on the Yuuzhan Vong, Fleet Group Three's leader, General Wedge Antilles, attacked the planet." I think these two sentences could be combined to reduce redundancy, as they appear to say the same basic fact (that Fleet Group Three attacked Borleias, just with slightly different context info). Thoughts?
   • I'll continue reading it in a few hours ad finish my review. grunny@wookieepedia:~$ 05:32, January 11, 2012 (UTC)
     • I think I tweaked all of these as needed. Atarumaster88 ^{(Talk page)} 18:52, January 14, 2012 (UTC)
   • Question: Since this edit removed a duplicate quote, are there any other suitable quotes for that section? grunny@wookieepedia:~$ 14:21, February 17, 2012 (UTC)
     • Added suitable quote. Atarumaster88 ^{(Talk page)} 02:40, February 28, 2012 (UTC)

Comments

Warb NullEdit

• Redux comments: Sent to Redux per Meeting 42. Tommy9281 took care of some issues and rewrote enough of the article that he recommended it be taken here.
• Date added: June 18, 2011

(+0)Edit

Support

Object

1. Kreivi
   • The bio and the p&t still needs the information from here. Kreivi Wolter 11:17, June 26, 2011 (UTC)
     • Addressed.—Tommy 9281 Sunday, June 26, 2011, 11:35 UTC
2. Toprawa:
   • Might I suggest an expansion of the intro? Relative to the rest of the body, it just seems kind of skimpy right now. Would like to see it beefed up a little bit more. Toprawa and Ralltiir 19:55, July 26, 2011 (UTC)
     • I dunno, it looks proportionate to me. I figure adding any more will be giving too much detail for an intro. If you feel strongly though I'll try and add something.—Tommy 9281 Thursday, September 1, 2011, 08:43 UTC
   • Please reload infobox. You could kill the redirect links too while you're in there. Toprawa and Ralltiir 22:46, January 12, 2012 (UTC)
     • Infobox reloaded, though I don't see any redirect links for anything in it. Please specify, thanks.—Tommy 9281 Saturday, March 3, 2012, 22:50 UTC
       • There were two. I fixed them. Toprawa and Ralltiir 07:26, March 4, 2012 (UTC)

• Assuming the mention of Onderon being in the Inner Rim cannot be sourced to that paragraph's citation, one will need to be provided for this geographical location: "Shas Dovos was a Human male born on the Inner Rim planet Onderon..."
• I replaced the external Wikipedia link to metallurgy with a redlink in both the intro and the biography. If it's important enough to link to, we might as well create our own article for it. Please kill the corresponding redlink.
• The article alternates between the possessive forms "Donos'" and "Donos's." Please determine which is correct and use that one throughout.
• The article also alternates between capitalizing and not capitalizing "groundborer." Please determine one.
• Regarding this mention of the battle, does any source actually canonically apply the name "Battle of Onderon" as a formal title? I'm guessing no, judging by the article's current title (First Battle of Onderon (Naddist Uprising)). If no, the article should avoid referring to this as if it is a formal title. Simple de-capitalizing "Battle" would suffice: "During the Battle of Onderon in the Freedon Nadd Uprising..."
• One of the most frivolous things writers tend to stick into P/T sections is saying how a character is "brave" for doing something, often with no canonical evidence at all to back this up. Simply by fighting in a battle, for example, we consider someone to be brave, and thus we manufacture for ourselves artificial P/T filler material. This article's P/T twice makes mention of Null's supposed bravery because he fought in the Onderon battle, although the P/A section later says he has "no discernible thoughts or emotions." If a source does not actually attribute bravery to his thought process in these moments, I would strongly suggest removing mention of this word and simply stating what he did without trying to contrive some unattributed personality for him.
• Piggybacking off the objection preceding this one, the fact that he essentially has no personality, according to that line from the P/A, as his Warb Null persona is something that definitely needs to be mentioned in the P/T, but is not currently.
• The P/A suddenly capitalizes "Spirit protector" after referring to it as "spirit protector" in all preceding mentions. Please determine one.
• As the term "blacksmith" is apparently canonically attributed to this character, I feel like this should be mentioned/linked at some point within the article.
• Please consider inserting a paragraph break at some point in the third paragraph of the "Early life" biography subsection. Toprawa and Ralltiir 08:38, March 4, 2012 (UTC)

Comments

• Given the amount there's information regarding them, I think the article could include Equipment-section. Some info from p&a could be moved there. Kreivi Wolter 12:15, June 26, 2011 (UTC)
• Given the two {{Sofixit}} edits you just made that totally could have been done in the first place, feel free to take care of this under that same premise.—Tommy 9281 Sunday, June 26, 2011, 12:20 UTC

Vote to remove article's FA status (Inq only)

Unaddressed objection for over a month. CC7567 ^(talk) 05:48, September 1, 2011 (UTC)

Mara Jade SkywalkerEdit

• Redux comments: Sent to Redux per Meeting 42. Several outstanding issues including the use of first names throughout, common use of the present-tense "This," and incorrect image caption punctuation.
• Date added: June 18, 2011

(+0)Edit

Support

Object

1. Jujiggum
   • Currently needs an update from Choices of One.
   • I'll give it a full review once the update has been made. Jonjedigrandmaster ^(Talk) 17:41, September 4, 2011 (UTC)
     • Choices of One is updated, working on Extinction next. Thanks for your patience! Atarumaster88 ^{(Talk page)} 03:27, September 28, 2011 (UTC)
2. CC
   • Extremely insufficient coverage of Extinction. I'm sure that there's a lot more that can be said from that comic. CC7567 ^(talk) 06:45, September 9, 2011 (UTC)
     • Will get to both of these this weekend. I apologize, had login issues and been very busy IRL. Thanks for the thoughts. Atarumaster88 ^{(Talk page)} 04:23, September 20, 2011 (UTC)
       • Expanded Extinction. Atarumaster88 ^{(Talk page)} 18:36, October 8, 2011 (UTC)

Comments

• I apologize profusely for all the errors that I just corrected throughout the article. I rushed the fixes I made before the meeting, and while replacing 300 instances of "Mara" with "Jade" and "Jade Skywalker" isn't exactly exciting, that's what needed to be done. And my second mistake was not doing a satisfactory job of that task. That type of shoddy workmanship is not something I desire to exemplify on Wookieepedia—while I'm not the most polished writer and generally have lots of little errors, failing to allot proper time and effort to fixing the ones that were mentioned is inexcusable. Again, my apologies. I believe that all of the errors mentioned above are now corrected, with one caveat.
• Caveat: There are some first names used in the article. The Solos tend to have their first names used with a preference of "Solo" for Han and "Organa Solo" for Leia when just one/both of those two are mentioned. Once the kids come into play, I used first names. I also use "Ben" exclusively when referring to Ben Skywalker since Luke is "Skywalker." If there is an alternate preference from the Inquisitorius, please advise. Atarumaster88 ^{(Talk page)} 02:09, June 20, 2011 (UTC)

Jace DallinEdit

• Redux comments: Reduxed per meeting 44.
• Date added: September 12, 2011

(+0)Edit

Support

Object

Comments

Sagoro AutemEdit

• Redux comments: Reduxed per meeting 44.
• Date added: September 12, 2011

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Support

Object

Comments

SquibEdit

• Redux comments: Reduxed per meeting 44.
• Date added: September 13, 2011

(+1)Edit

Support

1. No spelling errors, no glaring grammar problems, no linking or redlink problems, referencing exceeds standards, and as silly as FOTJ is, this has kept up with it. Let's move this off Redux and fast-track its RFAN when its time comes. -- Darth Culator ^(Talk) 14:47, April 16, 2012 (UTC)

Object

Comments

• Hey, folks. Here's the diff from the featured version to now: diff. For the most part, the changes have all been general updating for new appearances and sources. The more substantial stuff is in the following modes:
  • Reloading and switching to the Species infobox, per all alien articles;
  • Better linking;
  • Use of citation templates where appropriate;
  • Adding links to and stubbing pertinent articles (such as random Squibs mentioned in various sources);
  • A bit of reshuffling of info such that social/cultural stuff is discussed in "Society and culture" rather than "Biology and appearance";
  • Copy editing to remove demonstrative pronouns and adjectives, which we seem not to like anymore;
  • Implementation of "gamemechanics" templates where appropriate;
  • Indications of alternative scenarios from roleplaying material in the BTS;
• As such, hopefully it's evident that this has all been maintenance and updating, not deterioration of the article. It was the Ascension info update that made me think that a redux might be necessary, since that book added a substantial amount of knowledge about the species. ~Savage 16:45, September 13, 2011 (UTC)
• Note that the article now needs an update from Apocalypse. I'll try to get that done within the month. ~Savage 11:44, March 19, 2012 (UTC)
• Now updated for Apocalypse! Here's the diff from the featured version to now: diff. ~Savage 13:44, April 5, 2012 (UTC)

Daric LaRoneEdit

• Redux comments: Sent to Redux per Meeting 45. Large updates requiring re-review. Addition of "talents and abilities" section may be in order.
• Date added: October 25, 2011

(+0)Edit

Support

Object

Comments

• A reminder that if this passes, it should be added to the queue, per Inq Meeting 42 (This was a failed RFAN). Menkooroo 07:30, November 5, 2011 (UTC)

Burl IvesEdit

• Redux comments: Sent to Redux per Meeting 45. Large additions requiring re-review.
• Date added: October 25, 2011

(+1)Edit

Support

1. Good to go. Jonjedigrandmaster ^(Talk) 17:35, February 17, 2012 (UTC)

Object

1. Jujiggum
   • "In high school, he played football and when he went on to Eastern Illinois State Teacher's College in 1927." Grammar. (Would've fixed this myself, but I'm not sure if this is meant to say that he went on to play at the College or if he played football in high school and then went on to attend the College.)
     • Checked the source and fixed it up.
   • "In 1953, Ives two new books: the Burl Ives Song Book, which included 115 folk songs, and Burl Ives' Sea Songs of Sailing, Whaling and Fishing, which included 68 songs." Grammar. (Again, I would've fixed this myself, but there are multiple words that could potentially fit here, and I didn't want to put in one that might be technically incorrect: i.e. "wrote," "released," "produced," etc.)
     • Went with "composed." Seemed the best fit. Menkooroo 17:33, February 17, 2012 (UTC)
   • Jonjedigrandmaster ^(Talk) 17:28, February 17, 2012 (UTC)

Comments

• A reminder that if this passes, it should be added to the queue, per Inq Meeting 42 (This was a failed RFAN). Menkooroo 07:30, November 5, 2011 (UTC)

Gilad PellaeonEdit

• Redux comments: Reduxed per Meeting 46 for the recent updates from Choices of One and Crisis of Faith.
• Date added: December 1, 2011

(+0)Edit

Support

Object

1. Jujiggum
   • Also needs an update for Crimson Empire III: Empire Lost 2 (which has been out since last Nov). Jonjedigrandmaster ^(Talk) 16:43, February 17, 2012 (UTC)
     • Hk 47 got the updates for CEIII 1-5, though now it needs an update for the EGW, which is going to be a bit confusing to work around the existing Endor material and, oddly enough, CEIII. I think we may want to wait for CEIII #6 before doing the EGW update, or at least the New Republic era part of the EGW update. -- Darth Culator ^(Talk) 15:45, April 16, 2012 (UTC)

Comments