Contents 1 Zsinj 1.1 Things to do 1.2 Removal of FA status 1.3 Comments

ZsinjEdit

Things to doEdit

1. DC
   • "Zsinj was remembered as a pragmatist, a skilled linguist, a cunning strategist, adept in the use of technology, a successful businessman, and a clever actor. He frequently employed disguises and affected personas to keep his subordinates, allies, and adversaries puzzled, and these traits saved his life several times. How much of his image was factual and how much was a facade was something known only to the Warlord himself." I'm confused as to why this is in the Intro, it disrupts the prose, really it's P&T material. Intro rewritten.
   • "How much of his image was factual and how much was a facade was something known only to the Warlord himself." Pointless. if it's unknown, then why mention it? Intro rewritten.
   • "Though his path to power was a rocky one, his words would prove prophetic." OR/POV. Perhaps a flowery way to paraphrase it, but it's what the sources say.
   • "apparently with the rank of Grand Moff." Apparently!? This is an encylcopedia! Nailed down by Atlas.
   • "While Ysanne Isard controlled the Empire proper, Zsinj kept a respectful distance from her territory. But as the New Republic made inroads toward their conquest of Coruscant, Zsinj felt compelled to test them.[9]" This paragraph needs an expansion as to why Zsinj avoided Isard and no buts to start off a sentence. Rewritten with a more explicit interpretation of the Rogue Squadron bits, and debutted.
   • "Zsinj was not the type to let this challenge go unanswered." POVity. Again elaborated from RS. Not POV, just what the sources say.
   • "difficult decision to commit forces to hunting Zsinj." "difficult decision" is POV. Says you.
   • "He absorbed the territory of many smaller warlords like Terrinald Screed, whom he executed." Go into detail about these warlords. Can't go into detail that isn't there. The fact that we even know one of their names was a surprise, honestly.
   • ("the only flight of 'Dinner Squadron'") Kill parenthesis, not encyclopedic. Parentheses killed but the detail stays. Taunting Zsinj's right hand is like taunting Zsinj, so the reader should know it.
   • In fact, kill all the parenthesis in the article. Most are in the Halmad Lure. All dead, between me and QGJ.
   • These short one sentence transition paragraphs need to be expanded or joined into the paragraph before. In fact, they don't even transition well at all. Rewrite the transitions into all of the sections. Smushed.
   • Go through all of the linking in the article. Some are overlinked, while some aren't linked at all. Handled.
   • "Zsinj had no idea that his prize was about to be lost." Gah! Kill it! No. It's a fact.
   • "to rid the galaxy of the Rebels' most annoying cruiser… and the legacy of Han Solo."[12] The multiple periods within the quote have to go. Delete, or quote it at the top of the section. Oh, fine.
   • Bullets in Special Projects need to be deleted, then the content needs to be rewritten. QGJ got it.
   • "This caused Zsinj to declare her both blameless and not stupid, and he put her in charge of trapping the Wraiths.[8]" Needs to be rewritten and explained. Explained.
   • "Project Funeral was an ambitious endeavor." More POVity I don't see how it could be described as anything else.
   • The entire third paragraph in Plans within plans Needs to be rewritten, and has to be explained more in-depth. QGJ got it.
   • As I keep on reading this, I notice you're missing context everywhere. Context is where context needs to be.
   • "The real 181st was still loyal to the Empire, under Major Turr Phennir. When Loran returned to Mon Remonda, Solo accepted Rogriss' offer without even consulting Fleet Command. The tables were once again turning against Zsinj." Rewrite, and delete the tables being turned against Zsinj part. Rewritten, but the tables were turning. That's what happened. No reason to remove it.
   • "Project Funeral was working beautifully. Gotals and Twi'leks were suddenly under suspicion, and tension was mounting.[8]" POV, merge into next paragraph, and expand on how it was working. All fixed.
   • "Zsinj was despondent. Even General Melvar was concerned; Zsinj was acting more pessimistic than he'd ever seen. Together, the Warlord and his General formulated a plan to stop Zsinj's ongoing losses and restore his sagging confidence.[8]" Same as above. That's all the detail we get on his mindset, and the plan is detailed later.
   • "Zsinj was despondent. Even General Melvar was concerned; Zsinj was acting more pessimistic than he'd ever seen. Together, the Warlord and his General formulated a plan to stop Zsinj's ongoing losses and restore his sagging confidence.[8] " And here's another! Duplicate.
   • "Solo decided to change the rules again.[8]" describe. That's a transition. Anyone with an attention span longer than ten seconds will read the next paragraph and understand.
   • It seems that some parts of Turning the Tide are play-by-play. Rewrite. You say "play-by-play" like it's a bad thing.
   • "But Zsinj didn't count on sabotage. Tonin, Gara Petothel's R2 unit, had used an army of MSE-6 mouse droids to gain a limited amount of control over Iron Fist. Before leaving the Vahaba system, Tonin erased the Selaggis system from the Star Dreadnought's primary databank and subtly altered her course to take the ship there. Then Tonin ordered his diminutive droid soldiers to attack Iron Fist's hyperdrive. Petothel sent a HoloNet transmission to Mon Remonda and the slugging match began again.[8]" Another "but" starting off the sentence, rewrite, and explain. K.
   • "The Battle of Selaggis was not a long one." POVity. Not really. Selaggis is not a long battle relative to most recorded battles. This is quantifiable.
   • "Zsinj was getting depressed again. His enemies were anticipating him. And without his knowledge, his ship was transmitting his own tactical data to the enemy–more of Petothel's sabotage. Zsinj's mood brightened, however, when his chief engineer announced the restoration of hyperdrive capability. Zsinj sent "Baron Fel" and his squadron to cover Iron Fist's retreat.[8]" POV, rewrite, expand. Not POV when it's what happened. And there's nothing to expand without including things that don't directly involve or effect Zsinj. Fixed the unneeded dash, though.
   • "The game was not quite over." Kill, another bad transition. Says you.
   • (including one in Rodese that mocked Solo's familial makeup) Another parenthesis. Rewrite. Fixed.
   • "Zsinj's impending downfall was more due to Han Solo's legendary luck than any factor under the warlord's control.[2]" POV/OR, Delete. Rejiggered.
   • "The Falcon rode the ruined frigate into Dathomir's atmosphere, but there was a surprise waiting on the surface: The Witches of Dathomir.[2]" Surprise is POV/OR, and rewrite anyway. No it isn't, and no.
   • "The last words Zsinj ever heard were Solo's: "Look up at your viewscreen, you vermin. Kiss my Wookiee!"[2]" These really should be put into quotes. No.
   • "With his last two concussion missiles, Solo obliterated the bridge of the mighty Star Dreadnought. The scourge of Zsinj was erased from the galaxy.[2]" POV/OR, bad ending, rewrite. No.
   • "With Zsinj gone, the Hapan fleet moved into Dathomir space and destroyed the shipyard, capturing or destroying many of the late warlord's ships. The planet was free from Zsinj, the Nightsisters were destroyed, and Solo transferred legal ownership of Dathomir to the witches–the world was theirs again, as Yoda had foretold. The grateful world of Dathomir quickly joined the New Republic. Shortly thereafter, Leia married Han Solo. Isolder took a Dathomir native, Teneniel Djo, as his wife,[2] but due to internal Hapan politics the Consortium committed only to a very limited alliance with the New Republic.[13]" POV/OR, rewrite, expand. Already enough detail on things that don't directly involve Zsinj, and not POV when it's what actually happened.
   • "Within a year from Zsinj's defeat, the galactic situation was more stable, with the New Republic in control of three-quarters of the known galaxy. The stage was set for the next great conflict.[13]" Another bad ending, rewrite. No.
   • P&T needs to be expanded greatly and desectionized. Desectionized. Need for expansion is subjective.
   • "Zsinj was almost comical in his manner and appearance. Eventually, he took on the white uniform of a Grand Admiral, which lent an element of incongruity to his appearance when combined with his corpulence and his handlebar moustache." POV/OR This is what it says in Cracken's Threat Dossier, the Wraith Squadron books, and the New Essential Guide to Characters. Take it up with those authors.
   • P&T needs to have a POV/OR purging and rewrite. Opinion.
   • Rewrite Character development, and expand. Opinion.
   • Some parts of Zsinj's rank and uniform need to be sourced. Fixed that when the Atlas came out.
   • Is there even a point to the Zsinj's Government section? It's only one sentence long. Removed.
   • Copyedit the entire article. Done several times over.
   • Whew! I'm done! DC 02:00, 22 February 2009 (UTC)
2. From Meeting 32:
   • Update for The Essential Atlas.
     • Update handled. QuiGonJinn ^(Talk) 21:09, May 16, 2010 (UTC)
   • Expand P&T.
     • Going to need help with this. I already think there's too much. P&T is almost always fluff, and I don't really like too much fluff. -- Darth Culator ^(Talk) 14:02, May 25, 2010 (UTC)
   • Remove OOU-oriented "unknown" statement in the P&T.
     • Not sure which one you're talking about. Likely it's already been dealt with. -- Darth Culator ^(Talk) 14:02, May 25, 2010 (UTC)
   • Scour for remnants from 2006-quality writing.
     • Hopefully done as well. QuiGonJinn ^(Talk) 21:09, May 16, 2010 (UTC)

Removal of FA statusEdit

• Placed on probation per Meeting 32.
• FA status kept per Meeting 33.

CommentsEdit

• A lot of what has been labeled as "POV" here is in my opinion just good and interesting writing. "NPOV" does not mean "boring". ~ SavageBob 03:17, 22 February 2009 (UTC)
  • Going over it, I have to agree. Graestan^(Talk) 13:18, 22 February 2009 (UTC)
    • I'm sorry, but I have to disagree. For example, "Zsinj was almost comical in his manner and appearance." Who believed he was comical? Was it a general consensus that he was comical in appearance? If the sentence is just left there without stating who believed that, then it is POV. From the NPOV page itself: "All significant points of view are presented, not just the most popular one." The most popular view is stated there, instead of everybody elses views. If it's the only view people had of Zsinj, then it needs to be stated in the article. DC 19:12, 22 February 2009 (UTC)
      • I'm not saying that all of your POV concerns are unwarranted, just that a lot of them are. I have to run off to work right now, but I'll give some examples of where it's not POV in my mind soon. ~ SavageBob 22:11, 22 February 2009 (UTC)

Atlas info specifically on Zsinj: http://wikia.pastebin.com/V2SN6Qi7 -- Darth Culator ^(Talk) 01:45, May 16, 2010 (UTC)

• The bit in bts about him resembling the Star Trek dude simply says that the image resembles him --- it doesn't say anything about authorial (or illustratorial?) intent, doesn't have a source, and seems like speculative and unneeded info. Anyone mind if I blast it and its accompanying image? Menkooroo 17:20, May 22, 2010 (UTC)
  • I don't see why. It's only drawing the reader's attention to an apparent similarity, not making a direct conclusion. The visual evidence is sufficient to stand on its own. -- Darth Culator ^(Talk) 14:02, May 25, 2010 (UTC)
    • It's a pretty speculative road to go down. If we're going to say that the visual evidence speaks for itself, we're opening up a whole new can of worms... this image of Jaina Solo looks a lot like the female lead from Law & Order SVU, after all. If there were even the slightest hint to give merit to the speculation, like the illustrator admitting to sometimes basing his characters off of old TV characters or something, then the dot-connecting would have some basis, but as it stands, it's pretty eyebrow-raising. In my opinion, anyway. Menkooroo 14:35, May 25, 2010 (UTC)