Wookieepedia:Quote of the Day/Archive/C-3PO

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"What?! Go on adventures? Explore the galaxy? You must be short-circuiting again! We are droids, after all... Nothing exciting ever happens to us!"
―C-3PO, to R2-D2

C-3PO: "Oh! Nice to see a familiar face."

E-3PO: "E chu ta!"

C-3PO: "How rude!"

―C-3PO and E-3PO

"We seem to be made to suffer. It's our lot in life."

―C-3PO

C-3PO: "Sir, the possibility of successfully navigating an asteroid field is approximately three thousand seven hundred and twenty to one!"

Han: "Never tell me the odds."

―C-3PO and Han Solo, fleeing the Imperial fleet

"I don't know what all this trouble is about, but I'm sure it must be your fault."
―C-3PO, to R2-D2, hiding outside Mos Eisley cantina

C-3PO: "I get to be part of the wedding? Not shoved into a closet like at yours?"

Leia: "We got you out in time to join the ceremony."

C-3PO: "Only because I had the rings."

―C-3PO and Leia Organa Solo, planning for Luke and Mara Jade's wedding

"Artoo, come back at once. You haven't finished with me yet! You don't know how to fix the hyperdrive. Chewbacca can do it! I'm standing here in pieces, and you're having delusions of grandeur!"
―C-3PO, to R2-D2

C-3PO: "Excuse me, Central Computer, but could you tell me if this plate is red?"

Central Computer: "No, that plate is green. Green is the color of grass, and of leaves on the trees, and of Greedo."

―C-3PO searches for the red Fulstar plate for Captain Solo

Luke: "As a token of my goodwill, I present to you a gift. These two droids."

C-3PO: "What did he say?"

Luke: "Both are hard-working and will serve you well."

C-3PO: "This can't be. Artoo, you're playing the wrong message."

―Luke Skywalker, presenting Jabba the Hutt with a gift of R2-D2 and an unsuspecting C-3PO

"For a mechanic, you seem to do an excessive amount of thinking."
―C-3PO, to R2-D2

C-3PO: "His High Exaltedness, the great Jabba the Hutt, has decreed that you are to be terminated immediately."

Han Solo: "Good, I hate long waits."

C-3PO: "You will therefore be taken to the Dune Sea and cast into the pit of Carkoon, the nesting place of the all-powerful Sarlacc."

Han Solo: "Doesn't sound so bad."

C-3PO: "In his belly, you will find a new definition of pain and suffering, as you are slowly digested over a thousand years."

Han Solo: "On second thought, let's pass on that, huh?"

―C-3PO and Han Solo

"That malfunctioning little twerp. This is all his fault. He tricked me into going this way."
―C-3PO, complaining about R2-D2 while lost in the Dune Sea

"The city's central computer told you? Artoo Detoo, you know better than to trust a strange computer."
―C-3PO, to R2-D2

Vader: "See-threepio, Artoo never told you what happened to your creator."

C-3PO: "He informed me sufficiently. He told me you killed him."

Vader: "No... I am your creator!"

C-3PO: "No... no... That's not true. That's impossible! The odds against you being my creator are..."

Vader: "Search your feelings, You know it to be true."

C-3PO: "Noooo!! You see, sir, shortly after the Jedi were wiped out, my memory was erased. So that could explain why I'm having difficulty verifying your statement."

―Darth Vader and C-3PO

"Don't try to blame me. I didn't ask you to turn on the thermal heater. I merely commented that it was freezing in the princess's chamber." [Artoo bleeps] "But it's supposed to be freezing. How we're going to dry out all her clothes, I really don't know." [Artoo bleeps] "Oh, switch off!"
―C-3PO, talking to R2-D2 on the ice planet of Hoth

"He constantly says the most outrageous things – you can't imagine. I don't dare repeat half of his comments. Sometimes I think that he means to trick me into embarrassing myself."
―C-3PO, to Lando Calrissian, about R2-D2 aboard the Teljkon Vagabond

C-3PO: "He made a fair move. Screaming about it can't help you."

Han Solo: "Let him have it. It's not wise to upset a Wookiee."

C-3PO: "But, sir, nobody worries about upsetting a droid."

Han Solo: "That's cause a droid don't pull people's arms out of their sockets when they lose. Wookiees are known to do that." [Chewbacca growls]
C-3PO: "I see your point, sir. I suggest a new strategy, Artoo: let the Wookiee win."

―C-3PO and Han Solo, instructing R2-D2 on playing dejarik with Chewbacca

"Help! I think I'm melting! This is all your fault."

―C-3PO

Han: "Don't worry. Everything's gonna be fine. Trust me."

C-3PO: "Every time he employs that phrase, my circuitry becomes erratic!"

―Han Solo and C-3PO, after landing on Cloud City

"Just you reconsider playing that message for him." [Artoo beeps] "No! I don't think he likes you at all." [Artoo whistles faintly] "No. I don't like you either."
―C-3PO and R2-D2

"Machines making machines! Hmm. How perverse."

―C-3PO, seeing the droid factory on Geonosis

"Uh, the mighty Jabba asks why he must pay fifty thousand." [bounty hunter holds up small silver ball] "Because he's holding a thermal detonator."
―C-3PO addresses Boushh

EV-9D9: "How many languages do you speak?"

C-3PO: "I am fluent in over six million forms of communication and can readily—"

EV-9D9: "Splendid. We have been without an interpreter since our master got angry with our last protocol droid and disintegrated him."

C-3PO: "Disintegrated?"

―EV-9D9, finding a place for C-3PO in the court of Jabba the Hutt

Luke: "Do you understand anything they're saying?"

C-3PO: "Oh, yes, Master Luke! Remember that I am fluent in over six million forms of com—"

Han Solo: "What are you telling them?"

C-3PO: "Hello, I think. I could be mistaken."

―C-3PO, communicating with the Ewoks

Han: "Well, why don't you use your divine influence and get us out of this?"

C-3PO: "I beg your pardon, General Solo, but that just wouldn't be proper."

Han: "Proper!?"

C-3PO: "It's against my programming to impersonate a deity."

―Han Solo and C-3PO

"Oh, yes, that's very good. I like that. Oh! Something's not right because now I can't see. Oh, oh, oh, that's much better. Wait.... wait! Oh my! What have you done? I'm backwards! You flea-bitten furball! Only an overgrown mophead like you would be stupid enough—"
―C-3PO, being repaired by Chewbacca

"He's got his own planet,
Although it's kind of wild.
Wookiees love him.
Women love him.
He's got a winning smile!
Though he may seem cool and cocky,
He's more sensitive than he seems,
Han Solo,
What a man! Solo,
He's every princess's dream!"

―C-3PO, reciting his song The Virtues of King Han Solo

"Oh, my stars, it's war!"

―C-3PO

"Ah! We're not interested in the hyperdrive on the Millennium Falcon. It's fixed! Just open the door, you stupid lump!" [Artoo finally opens the door] "I never doubted you for a second. Wonderful!"
―C-3PO, to R2-D2, during the escape from Cloud City

"If we do not have the princess in custody in two minutes, we will begin killing our prisoners."
"Oh, dear! Oh, dear…I do hope she means organic prisoners, and not mechanical ones!"

―Lumiya and C-3PO, on the expendability of organic matter

Anakin: "You look different, Threepio."

C-3PO: "Oh, it must be this disguise."

Padmé: "No, Threepio. It's your new gold plating."
Anakin: "Gold plating?"
C-3PO: "Oh, yes! In the service of a senator, one must be presentable."
Anakin: "Well, let's see it."
C-3PO: "Here? Now? In this neighborhood?"

―C-3PO, showing his new frame to Anakin Skywalker and Padmé Amidala

C-3PO: "Sir, it's quite possible this asteroid is not entirely stable."

Han Solo: "Not entirely stable? Well, I'm glad you're here to tell us these things. Chewie, take the professor in the back and plug him into the hyperdrive!"

―Han Solo and C-3PO

C-3PO: "Wonderful! We are now a part of the tribe."

Han: "Just what I always wanted."

―C-3PO and Han Solo, after Ewok ceremony in Bright Tree Village

C-3PO: "Well, he seems very friendly."

Leia: "Yes... very friendly."

―C-3PO and Princess Leia, on Lando Calrissian

C-3PO: "Captain Solo, have you forgotten that our shields—"

Han: "No. And don't tell me the odds, either."

C-3PO: "There really wouldn't be a point. Without functional shields, our chances of reaching the asteroid's surface are too small to calculate."

―C-3PO and Han Solo

C-3PO: "Sir, sir! Might I suggest—"

Han: "Shut him up or shut him down!"

―C-3PO and Han Solo

"But, Master Luke, Kessel has always been last on my list of places in the galaxy I'd like to see. Particularly on a dangerous spy mission without my own head."
―C-3PO

"Wait a moment! This building is a library! And my primary function is translation! Perhaps I can find some clue in these volumes that will save us all! Now let me see, this looks like... yes... two cups... balka greens... add a pinch of—oh, blast it all! This is a cookbook!"
―C-3PO, doing research to defeat the Darker

C-3PO: "Why, the memory demands alone would force me to remove millions of language translators and inflection interpreters. That would be disastrous. I might even become more aggressive."

Leia: "That would be terrible. What form would this aggression take? Would you strangle security officers and kick children?"

C-3PO: "Oh, no, Mistress. But I might become... more sarcastic. Even verbally abusive."

―C-3PO and Leia Organa Solo, discussing what would occur if he had military planning applications

C-3PO: "Artoo? Do you read me?"

R2-D2: "YES."

C-3PO: "Oh, I'm so relieved. So they are no longer jamming comlink frequencies?"

R2-D2: "THEY ARE STILL JAMMING WITHIN THE BAY. BUT YOU PLUGGED ME INTO THE DOOR COMPUTER DIRECTLY, AND I'M TRANSMITTING THROUGH THAT TO A COMM UNIT OUTSIDE THE JAMMING FIELD."

C-3PO: "I don't need the details. A simple yes or no would have sufficed."

R2-D2: "INCORRECT. THE PROPER ANSWER WOULD HAVE BEEN NO, THEY ARE STILL JAMMING COMLINK FREQUENCIES, AND YOU WOULD THEN HAVE BEEN MYSTIFIED AS TO HOW I WAS COMMUNICATING TO YOU."

―C-3PO and R2-D2

"I don't believe my circuits. An army of droids, here?" [shouts out window] "I'd like to have a serious talk with your programmers!"
―C-3PO, panicking during Battle of Coruscant

C-3PO: "Master Jacen, I am a protocol droid!"

Jacen: "And I would rather be meditating. C'mon, Threepio. You've done more dangerous things than this before."

C-3PO: "Not willingly, Master Jacen!"

Jacen: "Show me what you're made of, Threepio."

C-3PO: "I will gladly submit to an internal inspection."

―C-3PO and Jacen Solo

Lando: "Let me guess. You took it upon yourself to link yourself to the Upper Bloovatavian Historical Reference Data Bank and download her entire life story into that rusty tin head of yours."

C-3PO: "I am not familiar with Upper Bloovatavia, Captain Calrissian. However, the material on Gaeriel Captison was readily available in the Diplomatic Archives of Coruscant University. I might add that there was no tin at all used in the construction of my head, and, furthermore, tin does not rust."

Lando: "Luke, would it really bother you that much if I put just a few blaster holes in him?"

―Lando Calrissian and C-3PO

"Listen to them. They're dying, Artoo! Curse my metal body! I wasn't fast enough."
―C-3PO, misinterpreting cheers from Luke, Han and Leia

Padmé: "I'm afraid Jar Jar is dead."

C-3PO: "Oh, not again."

―Padmé Amidala and C-3PO, believing Jar Jar to be dead

"Farewell, Artoo. You were a miracle of modern technology... a true prince among droids... a dear, dear friend." [Artoo appears] "Artoo Detoo?!" [Artoo beeps] "Miracle of modern technology? I said no such thing. Prince of the scrap pile, if you don't get moving."
―C-3PO, thinking R2-D2 dissolved by acid

"Oh, no! Jar Jar's been killed! I knew something like this would happen."
―C-3PO, witnessing the "death" of Jar Jar Binks

C-3PO: "The ship has been destroyed."

Padmé: "Battle droids?"

C-3PO: "No."

Padmé: "Jar Jar?"

C-3PO: "Jar Jar."

―C-3PO and Padmé Amidala

C-3PO: "You can't possibly be more confused than I am."

R2-D2: "YOU'RE RIGHT. NOBODY CAN BE MORE CONFUSED THAN YOU ARE."

―C-3PO and R2-D2, discussing Anakin's behavior

C-3PO: "Captain Solo, the Yuuzhan Vong ship is hailing us. They must have a modified villip on board."

Han Solo: "You tell them I'm a little too busy shooting down their ships to answer them."

―C-3PO and Han Solo

"Oh my. Space travel sounds rather perilous!" [R2-D2 beeps] "I can assure you they will never get me onto one of those dreadful starships."
―C-3PO, to R2-D2, on Tatooine just before the pod race starts

"I thought that hairy beast would be the end of me." [Artoo beeps] "Of course I've looked better."
―Partially assembled C-3PO, to R2-D2

"No more adventures!"

―C-3PO, to R2-D2, at the beginning of A New Hope

Luke: "Boy, am I gonna get it. You know, that little droid is gonna cause me a lot of trouble."

C-3PO: "Oh, he excels at that, sir."

―Luke Skywalker and C-3PO, after R2-D2 has escaped the Lars homestead

"Sir, I don't know where your ship learned to communicate, but it has the most peculiar dialect."
―C-3PO, interpreting the Millennium Falcon for Han Solo

"I am now in the process of loading a comprehensive package of unlimited-class total-combat maneuvers, the use of many of which constitutes a felony on most civilized worlds."
―C-3PO, coming to the aid of Allana Solo

Han Solo: "What did he say?"

C-3PO: "I'm rather embarrassed, General Solo, but it appears you are to be the main course at a banquet in my honor."

―Han Solo and C-3PO, in the Ewok village

"I say, I think you should unhand the little girl. If you do not, I will be forced to thrash you. I assure you I am not jesting, sir. It is time for you to release the girl. If you wish to avoid unpleasantness."
―C-3PO, "threatening" Monarg

"Don't you call me a mindless philosopher, you overweight glob of grease."
―C-3PO, to R2-D2

Han Solo: "Stay down!"

C-3PO: "Very well. May I inquire why?"

Han Solo: "No."

―Han Solo and C-3PO

C-3PO: "Artoo, make sure you watch our credits."

Droogan: "My grandpa always told me, 'Don't watch your credits; watch your health.' So while I was watching my health, someone stole my credits!"

―C-3PO, purchasing jogan fruit from Droogan

"I can't take much more of this, Artoo. I'm about ready to listen to your plan." [R2-D2 chatters] "What plan? You always have some twisted scheme in that dustbin dome of yours." [R2-D2 chatters] "Oh, fine. The first time we actually need one, you're empty!"
―C-3PO and R2-D2

"He said I had an explosive temper. I find his word choice thoughtless." [R2-D2 chatters] "No, I do not blow up at the slightest provocation." [R2-D2 chatters] "I am not going to pieces over this. Enough."
―C-3PO and R2-D2, after a bomb was planted in the former

"There'll be no escape for the princess this time."

―C-3PO, as the Devastator captures the Tantive IV

Moll: "We need a plan."

C-3PO: "If only Artoo were here. He always has a plan. Or some ridiculous idea."

Moll: "We're on our own. What do you suggest?"

C-3PO: "Um, well we could…surrender. I mean, it's one strategy."

―Kea Moll and C-3PO

"I've just about had enough of you. Go that way. You'll be malfunctioning within a day, you nearsighted scrap pile." [kicks Artoo] "And don't let me catch you following me, begging for help, because you won't get it."
―C-3PO, complaining about R2-D2 while lost in the Dune Sea

C-3PO: "I'm sure you didn't properly fix my leg, Artoo! I keep getting this unnatural urge to kick myself!"

R2-D2: "BLEEEE BLEEP BLEEP!"

C-3PO: "What do you mean, 'there's nothing unnatural about it?'"

R2-D2: "WHOO-BZZT!"

C-3PO: "Why, Artoo, I'm deeply hurt!"

―C-3PO and R2-D2

"Days like this make me think I was manufactured under a bad sign."

―C-3PO

Rieekan: "You, Princess Leia, Chewbacca and your droids will serve as the assault squad. That is, if you 'volunteer'."

Luke: "I guess we do."

C-3PO: "We do?! Oh why did I ever leave the diplomatic service? All this adventure!"

―Carlist Rieekan, Luke Skywalker and C-3PO, before a dangerous mission

"Quite surprising. I've certainly never heard any gossip that Emperor Palpatine had a son by a three-eyed alien woman."
―C-3PO, learning of the existence of Trioculus

Leia: "You're going to attack them?"

C-3PO: "Sir, the odds of surviving a direct assault on an Imperial Star Destroyer—"

Leia: "Shut up!"

―Princess Leia, preventing C-3PO from telling Han Solo the odds

"If the Maker had meant us to fly, he'd have manufactured us with rockets!"

―C-3PO, uncomfortable flying in an airspeeder

C-3PO: "I don't like this place. Not one little bit. I'm sure we are all in the most terrible danger here."

Lando: "Yeah, whatever. Besides, what was the last place you did like?"

C-3PO: "A most interesting question. I can't recall one, offhand. I shall have to consult my onboard archives."

―C-3PO and Lando Calrissian, landing on Centerpoint Station

Han: "Come on, come on, you guys! Let's have an organized retreat here."

C-3PO: "Fine, you organize while I retreat."

―Han Solo and C-3PO

Han Solo: "Let him have it. It's not wise to upset a Wookiee."

C-3PO: "But, sir, nobody worries about upsetting a droid."

Han Solo: "That's because droids don't pull people's arms out of their sockets when they lose. Wookiees are known to that."

C-3PO: "...I see your point, sir. I suggest a new strategy, Artoo: let the Wookiee win."

―Han Solo, to C-3PO

"Artoo! What are you doing here?" [R2-D2 chatters] "Well, I can see you're serving drinks, but this place is dangerous."
―C-3PO, encountering R2-D2 on Jabba the Hutt's sail barge

"I beg your pardon, but what do you mean, 'naked'?" [R2-D2 chatters] "My parts are showing? My goodness."
―C-3PO, ashamed of his exposed state, responding to R2-D2

"Hang on tight, Artoo. You've got to come back. You wouldn't want my life to get boring, would you?"

―C-3PO, to R2-D2, before the Battle of Yavin

C-3PO: "Excuse me, sir. Might I inquire what's going on?"

Han Solo: "Why not?" [walks away]

C-3PO: "Impossible man."

―C-3PO and Han Solo, getting along swimmingly

"Of course I can see how badly the battle is going for our squadron, Artoo-Detoo… but don't go announcing it for everyone to hear. It would be very bad for morale if we were to announce that we're doomed."
―C-3PO, during the Second Battle of Endor

"You must repair him. Sir, if any of my circuits or gears will help, I'll gladly donate them."
―C-3PO, concerned about R2-D2 after the Battle of Yavin

C-3PO: "Are you there, sir?"

Luke: "Threepio!"

C-3PO: "We've had some problems..."

Luke: "Will you shut up and listen to me?!"

―C-3PO, belatedly contacting Luke Skywalker in a garbage masher

C-3PO: "Surrender is a perfectly acceptable alternative in extreme circumstances. The Empire may be gracious enough to—" [Leia switches him off]

Han: "Thank you."

―C-3PO, urging Han Solo and Leia Organa to surrender in the Hoth asteroid field

C-3PO: "And what should we do if we are discovered here?"

Luke: "Lock the door."

Han Solo: "And hope they don't have blasters."

―C-3PO, Luke Skywalker, and Han Solo

"Die, Jedi dogs!" [voice returns to normal] "Oh, what did I say?"

―C-3PO, speaking with a battle droid voice and fighting in the Battle of Geonosis

Palpatine: "Senator Amidala, is that not the droid Jedi Skywalker constructed?"

Padmé: "Yes, it is."

C-3PO: "I am honored that you remember me, Your Majesty!"

Palpatine: [laughs] "A title more fit for a king or emperor."

―C-3PO and Supreme Chancellor Palpatine

"A most unpleasant people, Gamorreans. They were difficult enough to deal with in the entourage of Jabba the Hutt... Procedures programs for visiting Gamorr consist of a single line: DO NOT VISIT GAMORR. Really!"
―C-3PO

"If I told you half the things I've heard about this Jabba the Hutt, you'd probably short-circuit!"
―C-3PO, to R2-D2

Lando: "I'm sorry, Threepio. I promise you, we'll get you put back to specs as soon as we get home."

C-3PO: "It is I who should apologize, Master Hambone. I am sure that my clamminess was the approximate corpse of my mishop."

Lando: "Don't try to talk, Threepio. Just keep running your diagnostics. Your parser will map the damaged regions and relocate those functions."

C-3PO: "Fairy wall, monster lambda."

―Lando tries to comfort a damaged C-3PO

Han Solo: "Threepio, get in here! What is that?"

C-3PO: "Oh, my. I believe that what we're looking at is a kind of boat creature. The Yuuzhan Vong term for it is vangaak, which derives from the verb 'to submerge.' Although in this case the verb has been modified to suggest—"

Han Solo: "Skip the language lesson and just tell me how to kill it!"

C-3PO: "Well, I would suggest targeting the flat dome, clearly visible on its dorsal surface."

Han Solo: "A head shot."

C-3PO: "Precisely. A head shot."

―Han Solo and C-3PO, encountering Yuuzhan Vong on Selvaris

"Oh my, I'd forgotten how much I hate space travel."

―C-3PO

Bail: "I'm placing these droids in your care. Treat them well. Clean them up. Have the protocol droid's mind wiped."

C-3PO: "What?" [R2-D2 chatters] "Oh, no."

―Bail Organa, ordering Captain Antilles to perform a memory wipe of C-3PO

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(The content of this page is current up to: February 28, 2014)